The following article is a guest post written by fellow introvert and blogger Michaela Chung, creator of Introvertspring.com
Our beliefs about our world and ourselves have a direct impact on our reality. Sounds straightforward enough, right? Except that our core beliefs are often mysterious and elusive. They play a game of hide and seek behind the superficial wall of what we want to believe.
For introverts, there is often a conflict between our deeply held beliefs about ourselves, and what we truly desire. These hidden beliefs create resistance within us. Typically, we are resistant to things that we perceive as bad.
Examples of hidden beliefs that create resistance:
You want to be loved, but you don’t believe that you are worthy of love because you don’t embody the extrovert ideal.
You would like to be by yourself, but you believe that spending time alone is selfish or wrong.
You prefer to have only two or three close friends, but you believe that popularity is a virtue.
So, how do we go about removing resistance? Before I answer that, I’d like to emphasize why it is so important to do so.
Resistance prevents us from getting the things we want in life. It also stops us from enjoying the things that we do get. How can we be happy in a loving relationship when we believe that we don’t deserve to be loved? How can we fully embrace and enjoy solitude when we think that being alone is wrong? We can’t.
The first fastest way to remove resistance is to change our beliefs.
Changing Our Beliefs
In order to change our beliefs, we must first identify them. This is more difficult than it seems. Many of us have multiple layers of beliefs and desires that may or may not be in alignment with one another. Here are some examples of beliefs and desires that are in alignment:
I deserve to be happy.
I want to have meaningful relationships because they will make me happy.
I am worthy of love.
I want to share the love I feel with others.
Money is a valuable tool.
I want to have more money so that I can buy the things I need and want.
Here are some examples of beliefs and desires that are in opposition with one another:
I do not deserve happiness.
I want to be in a relationship because it will make me happy.
I am not worthy of love.
I want to be loved.
Money is the root of all evil.
I want to be wealthy.
Discovering our true beliefs involves asking ourselves questions that lead to more questions. For introverts, this can be a surprisingly natural exercise. One of the reasons that I love writing for introverts, is that we typically like introspection. We aren’t afraid to dive deep into our own mind and ask the most valuable of all questions: why?
Ask Yourself “Why?”
When you notice a belief surfacing – no matter how insignificant it might seem – ask yourself why you believe that. Where did your values about money, love, introversion and what is considered ‘normal’ come from?
Now ask yourself, “Is that true?” Is it true that all rich people are arrogant? Is it true that wanting to be alone is rude or selfish? Is it true that relationships are hard work? Is it true that quietness is an unattractive quality? Is it true that you cannot be happy until you achieve XYZ? Is it true that you have to work at a job that you hate because it pays the bills?
Most of the time the answer will be “no”. Our beliefs are true for us because we allow them to be true for us. If our beliefs are no longer serving us, we can change them. And, thus, change our reality.
Michaela Chung is a copywriter, world traveler and introvert blogger. She is the creator of IntrovertSpring.com, a website dedicated to helping introverts quietly revolutionize the way they see themselves. She is also the author of The Introvert Revolution: A Quiet Path To Reclaiming Our Power.