Itโs a feeling that haunts us in the dead of the night, in the early hours of the morning, in the emptiness of large urban spaces, and even sometimes within groups of people:
The feeling that something is missing.
The yearning for deep connection.
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The craving to fill the inner void.
I used to experience this feeling a lot growing up. I think it was the worst around other people, especially in situations where everyone was meant to feel joyful and happy, like birthdays or festive celebrations.
I donโt know if you experience that hollowness โ this craving for something you canโt quite name โ but if you do, please know youโre not alone.
In recent years, Iโve come to realize that this feeling that something is missing from life comes from feeling separated and disconnected.
โSeparated from what?โ you might wonder.
When you go to the root of this feeling, you see that it traces back to being separated from love. This is the essence of Soul Loss, of dissociation, of the Dark Night of the Soul.
Sure, that may sound corny. But I can assure you that itโs not.
The wound of separation appears in all of us to varying degrees.
For some of us, it comes through feeling invisible; for others, it comes through abandonment, betrayal, abuse, or neglect.
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Sometimes the wound of separation just appears as feeling โnot good enough,โ โnot made for this world,โ or โlike a loser who canโt fit in anywhere.โ
If youโve experienced a spiritual awakening or any type of transcendent glimpse into the deeper layers of reality, youโll see what mystics have said since the dawn of time:
Our true nature is love.
Not eros (romantic) love, not philia (friendship) love, not storge (parental) love, but agape (unconditional love).
Itโs a love that goes beyond the ego and one that unites us with all that is.
Itโs a love that is open, curious, accepting, and compassionate โ a love that is the essence of the Soul.
When I tap into that love through silence, stillness, nature immersion, and other means, I see that this is all that Iโm searching for deep down.
The sense of emptiness, the sense that something is missing from my life, all trace back to that wound of disconnection from love.
Iโm writing this as a reminder today. I wanted to keep this message simple.
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Place a hand over your heart and invite your Deep Self to emerge. Ask it, โHow can I return to love?โ and wait for a response. This is one of the simplest forms of Ensoulment possible.
I think youโll find the answer immensely illuminating.
That’s it for now.
With agape โก
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Ah well,that’s all nice but not realistic at all. There is no such thing as love. Especially agape. Humans suck. They don’t want to love. Majority of humans are trash. Eating shitting and fucking is all they care about. Pardon my french but it’s true. The lockdowns showed us this too. Most humans are low and selfish. Also after the lockdowns you see more and more fuck up people. Letting themselves go. I gave up on humans. Good luck finding agape in those creatures lol. The only real love and appriciation i feel is for nature and animals. Ted Kaczynski was right btw and Jaques Ellul
Ching, you can choose to remain in that lethargy or start loving. You need not start with humans, stand still and look like REALLY look at a leaf on a branch. This is seeing. Another way is to remove your socks and plant your own two feet in the ground. Stand there. Feel.
Hi Ching. This is a very one-sided and short-sighted perspective. “Majority of humans are trash.” Someone like Viktor Frankl who survived the Nazi death camps chose to turn that horror into a source of power, helping many through his development of logotherapy. The way I see it is that some people in this world choose self-indulgent and self-destructive cynicism which is easy, but also empty and pointless. Others choose to transform that into power, purpose, and potential, making this world better (love in action). I respect the latter. At the end of the day, we’re all in this together, whether we like it or not.
You are so correct– being separated from love is painful. It leaves the heart a feeling of being empty and lonely. I have been separated from love several times — a hurtful divorce after 36 years of a good marriage; and leaving the life of a teacher of high school students after 45 years of joy filled teaching, coaching and being a dormitory parent. I have been diagnosed as having Alzheimer’s Disease but I have found a love that I never knew existed. I work with the National Alzheimer’s Association helping to raise funds for Alzheimer’s research for a cure. But best of all, I am part of a small group who provides help, education and advice for those who are care givers for people with dementia. Nothing can be better than sharing my life’s experiences so that others can smile, heal or learn something new. When it comes time for me to cross over to the other side of life, I will take one look back and feel no regret for what I have done in the name of love.
What powerful, precious work you are doing, Donald. Thank you so much for sharing your light ๐