Are You a “Lone Wolf” Empath? (7 Signs)

Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness. – Katherine Henson

It’s 5 pm. You’ve just spent an entire day around other people. Not only do you feel deeply exhausted, but you feel emotionally drained. It’s like there’s a thick layer of murky energy and sludge over you. And you crave – no, you desperately need – solitude … for probably the next month.

If you often feel this way, you might be a certain type of person known as a lone wolf empath: a sensitive soul who likes spending most of their time alone. 

After we wrote the book Awakened Empath back in 2017, the term ‘lone wolf empath’ started popping up more and more. So in this post, I’m going to explore this curious combination of personality traits and help you decipher what this means for your life.

Let’s start off with the basics:

What is an Empath?

An empath is a person who is deeply attuned to the emotions and energy of others. 

The word itself comes from the Greek words “em” (in) and “pathos” (feeling), which refers to a person who is capable of “feeling into” the feelings of others. 

Some common signs of being an empath are the following:

1. You’re like a tuning fork that picks up on the subtlest shifts in another’s mood or energy.
2. You’ve been told that you’re “too highly sensitive” or “intense” and have been made to feel like you need to grow “thicker skin” (aka, numb yourself to fit in).
3. You are a deeply caring person and often play the role of counselor or confidant to others.
4. You’re deeply connected to nature and animals.
5. You are highly creative.
6. You are drawn to spirituality, philosophy, and asking deep questions in life.
7. You tend to attract wounded people and toxic individuals due to your high levels of empathy.
8. You’re a skilled listener who’s often treated like an “emotional dumping ground.”
9. You find it unbearable to watch acts of violence, cruelty, or torture.
10. You seem to absorb emotional and other types of energy from your environment, often leading to chronic fatigue, overwhelm, or illness.

Why are you an empath? There are a number of potential scientific and psychological theories that may explain this trait, such as hyperactive mirror neurons, mirror-touch synesthesia, emotional contagion, biocommunication, and others that I explore in my book Awakened Empath.

Ultimately, what matters isn’t the theory, but the lived experience. But not all empaths are the same, which is what we’ll explore next. 

What is a Lone Wolf Empath? (And WHY It’s Different From a Regular Empath)

I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. – Henry David Thoreau

Lone wolf empaths, unlike regular empaths, prefer solitude to human company. 

While a regular empath will need time away from others to recharge, they are ultimately oriented towards seeking out the group, fitting in, and finding a sense of wider belonging.

Lone wolf empaths (or what I sometimes refer to as sensitive lone wolves), on the other hand, don’t like groups, don’t want to be part of them, and avoid them wherever possible.

Regular empaths may prefer 10-40% of their time alone. Lone wolf empaths prefer 50-100% of their time alone. 

Let’s examine these traits more in depth.

7 Signs You’re a Lone Wolf Empath

A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free. – Arthur Schopenhauer

Of all terms that define my paradoxical personality, being a sensitive loner or “lone wolf empath” probably defines it the best.

Can you relate? Are you a lone wolf empath as well?

Here are the signs:

1. You’re intensely sensitive, caring, and empathic 

Just like a regular empath, you’re deeply tuned into other people’s emotions. You care about others and often fall into the role of helper, healer, or confidant. But there’s one twist:

2. You prefer spending time alone to being around others 

While you’re a compassionate person, you don’t enjoy being around others for too long. You prefer the silence and peace of solitude. It’s where you feel the freest and can connect most deeply with yourself. 

3. You have a strong aversion to groups and pack mentality 

You don’t like, seek out, or wish to belong to large social groups because they strip you of your innate independence and threaten your capacity to think freely. At most, you prefer 1:1 connections. If you do join a group, you typically prefer to watch from the sidelines, unless there is a deep calling within you to engage for some reason.

4. You are a deep-feeler and thinker who thrives in solitude

As someone who is highly empathic and philosophical by nature, you do your best creative and introspective work when alone. Solitude gives you the space to process your feelings and thoughts, while staying connected to your deeper Self.

5. You’re drained by people, which is why you prefer minimal social connections

Some lone wolf empaths thrive with the tiniest morsels of social connection. Others prefer 1-2 close connections at most. Whatever the case, you tend to be someone who is a “minimalist” when it comes to friendships. 

6. You’re an independent outsider who likes it that way 

Many introverts and empathetic people want to be accepted and be part of the crowd. Lone wolf empaths don’t. They like their independence and value the ability to think freely, unencumbered by the status quo or burdensome social commitments. 

7. You’re highly intuitive, but you also have sharp “teeth”

Being empathic often means attracting a lot of unsavory characters, from the lost souls to those who are part of the dark triad (narcissism, machiavellianism, and psychopathy). While a regular empath may get drawn in, a lone wolf empath sniffs the air and smells bullshit from a mile away. That doesn’t mean we don’t get tricked or abused by these types of people (we do, depending on our core wounds). But it does mean that we’re more cynical and aren’t afraid to bite back and tear away these connections more swiftly once we learn they’re enslaving us.  

***

You are a being of immense depth, wisdom, and compassion. You are a pioneer and trailblazer of humanity, a model for others on how to be sensitive and powerful. – Luna & Sol, Awakened Empath 

So there we have it, the seven signs you’re a lone wolf empath. Let me know if I’ve missed any signs in the comments.

Lone wolf empaths aren’t perfect. We still struggle with emotional burnout, poor boundaries, self-worth issues, and trauma, something we help you start healing in Awakened Empath. Sometimes, we can feel lonely and disconnected and desire companionship. This is part of being human.

The difference is that lone wolf empaths seek out solitude more frequently and for longer periods of time than regular empaths. We also deeply value freedom and independence, even above social belonging or connection.

Perhaps most of all, lone wolf empaths see solitude as a healing spiritual path itself – a door to the soul, a way of feeling connected to the Whole. 

In the words of Paulo Coelho,

​​“Solitude is not the absence of company, but the moment when our soul is free to speak to us and help us decide what to do with our life.”

Tell me, what does being a lone wolf empath mean to you? I’d love to hear your unique thoughts in the comments. You never know who may feel seen by your words. ;)