Genocides, wars, public assassinations, climate destruction — we are surrounded by chaos everywhere.
If you’re a highly sensitive person like me, life can often feel like it’s screaming in your face relentlessly.
We may rally against one injustice, only to find that more and more pop up like a hellish version of the game Whac-A-Mole.
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We may fight to create a better outer world, only to realize that our inner world is in a state of ruin.
All of this happens while we undertake the intense juggling act of trying to keep up with our work, relationships, responsibilities, and inner reality.
If you’ve been struggling with the overwhelm of simply being a human in the 21st century, you’re not alone, and you’re certainly not “too sensitive.”
We’re not made to do, be, and feel everything all at once.
We were never made to take it all on endlessly.
Our nervous systems aren’t wired to scroll through videos of dying children in Gaza, then cats dressed in tutus playing the piano, then footage of Donald Trump mocking disabled reporters.
It’s in times of chaos that our minds enter a “death spiral” of negativity and darkness.
(Quick note: if you struggle with intense emotions that could make you a danger to yourself, please seek help. While the technique I’m describing may alleviate some level of suffering, it isn’t suitable for solely treating severe mental health conditions.
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Hermeticism & the Mental Traps That Make Us Suffer
In Hermeticism, there is a core principle that: All is Mind, the Universe is Mental. In other words, what’s within us is reflected without. The world is a reflection of the inner state of our psyches. So it’s no wonder that the outer so deeply impacts our inner, and vice versa.
If we take this hermetic principle that the Universe is Mental, and explore the psychological truth within it, we see that there are some major mental distortions that perpetuate our suffering. They are the following:
- Black and white thinking (aka, It’s either this or that, it’s either totally good or totally bad)
- Catastrophic thinking (aka, life is hell and we’re all going to suffer endlessly)
- Disqualifying the positive (aka, good things that happen don’t count)
- Mental filters (aka, I only pay attention to whatever evidence supports my judgments)
There are many other mental distortions like emotional reasoning and the just-world fallacy, but I’m keeping it simple here.
The point is that our minds often get us into a lot of trouble — and the outer situations in the world (wars, violence, injustice) exacerbate this tendency.
A Coping Skill For When Everything is “Too Much” — Finding the Sacred “Middle Path”
When our souls feel sick and tormented by what’s going on in the world, it’s time to get grounded again.
I’ve recently been nerding out exploring something known as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), as it provides a powerful coping skill for the kind of sh*t we have to deal with in daily life.
In short, DBT is a form of therapy that helps people who experience emotions intensely find calmness and balance.
At its heart, DBT is about finding the ground between two seemingly opposing ideas (this is the “dialectical” part), such as accepting something but also seeking to change it.
When it comes to the insanity we face in the world and the grief and hopelessness we feel inside about that, we can apply this DBT “middle path” approach.
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Here’s how it may look practically applied — notice the use of the powerful “AND”:
- I feel hopeless about the state of the world AND I can still do small things every day to bring me a sense of self-agency.
- I feel overwhelmed by daily existence AND I can find pockets of calmness and peace through the day.
- I feel grieved by the death of innocent children AND I’ll do what I can to make tiny ripples of change while also noticing the small joys in life.
- I feel resentful towards a certain political figure AND I can honor the people who are actually doing good for the planet.
- I can feel sadness AND I can also feel happiness.
- I can have a dysregulated nervous system AND I can find a place in my body or surroundings that feels safe.
- I can be wrong AND they can also be wrong.
- I can feel alone AND I can feel connected to something greater.
Do you see the change here?
The DBT middle path coping skill can help you move from extremist thinking to a “both-and” way of thinking and feeling.
Try it for yourself now. Think of something distressing you (whether personal, global, or something else), then apply this “formula”:
I (feel/am/can/want) … AND I (feel/am/can/want) …
By integrating two seemingly opposing truths, you can find more sanity and inner groundedness.
This has helped me tremendously as a neurodivergent, deep-feeling person. I often feel things to such an overwhelming degree that I either shut down or go into overdrive. I hope this coping skill helps you, too.
Tell me, how could you apply this “middle path” approach to your life or current feelings? I’d love to hear below. Take the very best care of yourself!
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We have a private saying that if your thought patterns and archetypes flow into nego (negative development) and are too much to cope with or handle, and your anxiety, fears, and phobic responses reign supreme, leaving you battle scarred and weary. Overthinking and miserable, then take time out. Listen to meditative music, say clearance mantras, and sleep (if you can) or seek a professional ear or close friend to listen.
When the negative thoughts in the mind vortex/spin, start to slow down, try to pluck out one from the outer perimeter. Visualise it and imagine you have grasped hold of it as a dark, little nego cloud you have just breathed out. It’s in the front portion of your mind now, then you imagine turning it around, seeing the brighter positive side of this Nego problem.
If this use of the power of imagination fails due to the depth and intensity of the Nego, then use your breathing techniques to slow down and stop the negative flow.
Or at least slow it down for rest and seek professional assistance.
I use positive hypnotic clips, tapes, and visualisations to stop the negative spread before it claims another victim. Me? I rewire or realign my thoughts, behaviours, tensions, and reduce anxiety asap to cut the crap and get peace and harmony back asap.
Thanks for sharing what works for you, John. I love this visualization idea!
Great article. As much as I can, I try not to watch the news or camp among the chaos. It’s impossible to not see or hear about some of the things that are happening in our world. I know things look so dark at times, but I have to believe that the Light will win out in the end. I try to practice self care by getting in nature when I’m able, talk to my team of guides and angels, and focus on the immediate daily challenges that I may personally face on a day to day basis, but also focus on what I have to be grateful for. ♥
Thank you for sharing what helps and supports your mental health and wellbeing, Alberta. ♡
I would have appreciated your article if you didn’t propagate political nonsense. I’m not even American or a follower of conservatives but the anti Trump verbal diarrhea has to stop. And calling what happened in Gaza a genocide but not the Armenians…or the injustice that was done to the slavs in the 90s when they fought for Europe. And now Karma is hitting America and West europe. Don’t you ever dare to downplay the evil of a certain “religion”. The jews would have never left the Orient if it weren’t for those who must not be named. Also this conflict in Gaza is between the 2 backward religions. Everybody should stay out of it. And the Assassination of Charlie Kirk was horrific. I’m glad you mentioned it. I’m not even a follower or fan of him but it was so shocking and unexpected. Left and right are becoming too extreme. The media is at fault. I would recommend to everyone to limit your political intake to a minimum. And don’t watch any left or right social media news. They cherry pick and radicalize the youth. Truly dark times it’s so hard to accept that. I fear for the future,not gonna lie. I also fear inner spiritual work won’t be enough. I don’t think politicians will get us out of this situation.
Agree 100 %, and came here to say the same thing.
All they mentioned was children dying in Gaza, and if you’re triggered by that then you need to do some soul searching. No matter your political affiliation or beliefs on religion, this should be a unifying moment where we stand up for the children who cannot defend themselves. As for DT and the American administration, how anyone can say they are not political but cannot recognise the dangerous trajectory they have the world on is ridiculous. The hate they spew is dividing our world further, so I’m glad that they addressed how much darker it feels these days. You also talk about the “evil of a certain religion” and the “backward” religions. I hate to tell you this, but you are promoting the very hate and division you accuse Alethia of. The reason you had such an intense reaction to the article is because it holds a mirror up to your own biases. I’d reflect on this greatly, instead of resorting to whataboutism and bringing up conflicts that occurred in the past.
Ironically, the comments from Lisa and Frances perfectly highlight the kind of thinking this article warns against. I will never understand how anyone can justify, intellectualize, point the finger elsewhere, or overlook the death of 20,000+ children in Gaza since 2023. As Jay says, regardless of political or religious affiliation, the death of innocent children who cannot defend themselves should be a unifying moment – one that calls on our common humanity.
A both/and affirmation that really helps me is: “I feel deep sadness about…AND I feel deep joy about…”
I love this and might use it myself. Thank you for sharing, Mary!
I call this Scream Therapy. When things are really getting to you , go for a drive or out in the woods , forest or some place in nature .
Then when you are all alone just let out the loudest longest SCREAM ! Repeat if needed.
Ahhh yes, this is brilliant. “Scream therapy” – LOVE it 😆
Hi Aletheia,
I had weekly one on one DBT sessions for several months and don’t recall learning about the “both/and “approach. So helpful!
I can’t remember how I stumbled onto your spiritual awakening book, but it continues to be the most helpful book in my 200+ recovery library!
I look forward to your course in October!
Blessings, Vicki Davis, US
Thank you so much for sharing that, Vicki. It’s a great honor to walk beside you on this crazy and exhilarating path! Lots of love and gratitude 🤗
I feel privileged that I am not suffering from the negativity trap. The best advise i could give to anyone is, stop watching the news, and create yourself a solid selfcare practice. Be mindful of what you consume. Via series, films, music, social media. You can get yourself infected with negativity anywhere. Though(self)love is an important part of my selfcare practice. Setting up boundaries for myself, to protect my own well being. And I can highly recommend doing so. If you want to watch content to keep your mind busy, or you simply cannot without the stimulation. (Hello dysregulated nervous system) Make the conscious choice to watch uplifting content. Follow spiritual teachers and or podcasts, you can learn so incredibly much from those! Especially about what we are going through right now on the planet as humanity and how you can cope the best way. Everyone i heard on this topic is saying the same thing. Practice selfcare and try your best to stay positive. Pam Gregory can explain this in the best, friendliest and most understanding gentle way. If you are not able to break free from the anxiety and desperation, that is what you will manifest. As well for yourself as for the collective.
Please take care of yourself. Wherever you may be. 🙏🏼
Intellectual and energetic boundaries are essential. I agree with what you say about not watching the news, especially if you’re in a fragile emotional or mental space. The worst thing you could do if you’re going through a bout of depression or anxiety is to log onto a social media platform or listen to the news. Eventually, however, I do believe we need to stay connected with what’s going on in the world, even in small doses. Avoiding or ignoring the suffering on this planet is a form of spiritual bypassing and also disconnecting from those who may need support or help. If our psychological healing and spiritual practice can’t also help others, what’s the use of it? This is where both/and dialectical thinking comes into the picture: we can set boundaries and practice self-care and also not bury our heads in the sand. We can show self-love to ourselves and also show support to others in horrible circumstances. When I’m going through an inner crisis, I disconnect from all news and world events to protect my sanity. But when I feel more grounded and centered, that’s when I show up again. Thank you for sharing and being here, Evelien. :)
I use a similar technique: “I yearn for [. ] and/but am grateful for [. ]. Expressing gratitude often saves me by immediately connecting me to Spirit, “our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble.”
I love this so much, Deb. Thank you for sharing this beautiful practice 💜
I try to remain grounded even in the face of chaos. When a customer is being rather
beligerant in my face, I stand my ground firmly, knowing that I will have peace soon. Fortunately for me, I only have to be among the chaos 2 days a week at my job. I choose not to be exposed to chaos (aka the news and whatever else is going on) when I’m home. I have my cat toys as a creative outlet, and history topics to keep me centered. Thanks for your precious work!
That sounds like a challenging experience, Angela. I’m glad you have something to keep you grounded!
One of the things I have become adept at lately is detachment. I have started to distance myself from many things I consider unnecessary: television, news, politics, courses, videos, consumerism, excessive socializing, social conventions, too many worries, etc. I have come to realize that many things today are just distractions and a waste of time. We live in an age of hyperstimulation, rapid obsolescence, hyperconnectivity, mass information, liquid relationships, social status, comparison, and consumerism. Much of it is pure superficiality and totally disposable. Even in the face of criticism, I seek only what is true for me, without any social validation or external/internal demands. In my view, I come first. When I wake up, the first thing I do is say: I love myself! I only worry about the basics and what is sufficient. I focus only on changing what is within my reach. If we stop to think about it, many things are superfluous, and others impossible to change. Today, I prefer to prioritize myself in everything. Even with the difficulties I face because of my personality, it is still what makes me unique, and I don’t need anyone to say they like me or love me before I do. Remember: the beauty of the cosmos is only possible because of the uniqueness of each beauty that composes it.
Detachment and self-focus is certainly helpful and healing at a point on the soul’s path. It’s not my personal approach (it once was, but I suppose I ‘outgrew’ it after becoming a parent), but if you’re overwhelmed by life, it can bring a lot of grounding. Thanks for sharing, Hans.