A Coping Skill For When Everything is “Too Much” 

Genocides, wars, public assassinations, climate destruction — we are surrounded by chaos everywhere.

If you’re a highly sensitive person like me, life can often feel like it’s screaming in your face relentlessly.

We may rally against one injustice, only to find that more and more pop up like a hellish version of the game Whac-A-Mole.

We may fight to create a better outer world, only to realize that our inner world is in a state of ruin.

All of this happens while we undertake the intense juggling act of trying to keep up with our work, relationships, responsibilities, and inner reality.

If you’ve been struggling with the overwhelm of simply being a human in the 21st century, you’re not alone, and you’re certainly not “too sensitive.”

We’re not made to do, be, and feel everything all at once. 

We were never made to take it all on endlessly. 

Our nervous systems aren’t wired to scroll through videos of dying children in Gaza, then cats dressed in tutus playing the piano, then footage of Donald Trump mocking disabled reporters.

It’s in times of chaos that our minds enter a “death spiral” of negativity and darkness.

(Quick note: if you struggle with intense emotions that could make you a danger to yourself, please seek help. While the technique I’m describing may alleviate some level of suffering, it isn’t suitable for solely treating severe mental health conditions.

Secondly, I highly recommend this organization for its humanitarian work worldwide – please consider supporting them if you can.)

Hermeticism & the Mental Traps That Make Us Suffer

In Hermeticism, there is a core principle that: All is Mind, the Universe is Mental. In other words, what’s within us is reflected without. The world is a reflection of the inner state of our psyches. So it’s no wonder that the outer so deeply impacts our inner, and vice versa.

If we take this hermetic principle that the Universe is Mental, and explore the psychological truth within it, we see that there are some major mental distortions that perpetuate our suffering. They are the following:

• Black and white thinking (aka, It’s either this or that, it’s either totally good or totally bad)
• Catastrophic thinking (aka, life is hell and we’re all going to suffer endlessly)
• Disqualifying the positive (aka, good things that happen don’t count)
• Mental filters (aka, I only pay attention to whatever evidence supports my judgments)

There are many other mental distortions like emotional reasoning and the just-world fallacy, but I’m keeping it simple here.

The point is that our minds often get us into a lot of trouble — and the outer situations in the world (wars, violence, injustice) exacerbate this tendency.

A Coping Skill For When Everything is “Too Much” — Finding the Sacred “Middle Path”

When our souls feel sick and tormented by what’s going on in the world, it’s time to get grounded again.

I’ve recently been nerding out exploring something known as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), as it provides a powerful coping skill for the kind of sh*t we have to deal with in daily life.

In short, DBT is a form of therapy that helps people who experience emotions intensely find calmness and balance. 

At its heart, DBT is about finding the ground between two seemingly opposing ideas (this is the “dialectical” part), such as accepting something but also seeking to change it. 

When it comes to the insanity we face in the world and the grief and hopelessness we feel inside about that, we can apply this DBT “middle path” approach. 

Here’s how it may look practically applied — notice the use of the powerful “AND”:

• I feel hopeless about the state of the world AND I can still do small things every day to bring me a sense of self-agency.
• I feel overwhelmed by daily existence AND I can find pockets of calmness and peace through the day.
• I feel grieved by the death of innocent children AND I’ll do what I can to make tiny ripples of change while also noticing the small joys in life.
• I feel resentful towards a certain political figure AND I can honor the people who are actually doing good for the planet.
• I can feel sadness AND I can also feel happiness.
• I can have a dysregulated nervous system AND I can find a place in my body or surroundings that feels safe.
• I can be wrong AND they can also be wrong.
• I can feel alone AND I can feel connected to something greater.

Do you see the change here?

The DBT middle path coping skill can help you move from extremist thinking to a “both-and” way of thinking and feeling.

Try it for yourself now. Think of something distressing you (whether personal, global, or something else), then apply this “formula”:

I (feel/am/can/want) … AND I (feel/am/can/want) …

By integrating two seemingly opposing truths, you can find more sanity and inner groundedness.

This has helped me tremendously as a neurodivergent, deep-feeling person. I often feel things to such an overwhelming degree that I either shut down or go into overdrive. I hope this coping skill helps you, too. 

Tell me, how could you apply this “middle path” approach to your life or current feelings? I’d love to hear below. Take the very best care of yourself!