We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are. – Anaïs Nin
Anxious doom spirals. Toxic comparison. Difficulty distinguishing truth from deception.
These are some of the biggest emotional and existential issues we’re facing in the modern age. Our minds lie to us all the time.
The question is, how do we find clarity and cut through this fog? How do we find our way back to the Soul’s truth within the loud chaos of daily life?
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Sure, you can go live off the grid and disconnect from everything. Many people have that dream. I know I’ve wanted to escape far into the woods, living in a little cottage, tending to my own vegetable patch, and indulging in a slow, contemplative life.
But the truth is that most people don’t fulfill this dream. Why?
Mostly, I think it’s that many of us don’t have the luxury of just abandoning everything for the whimsical and wild hopes of slow, nature-based, intentional living. We have commitments – to other people, projects, or places – and that’s fine.
I don’t see commitments as the issue here; I see the problem as an internal one.
Because the reality is that you can remove all forms of external chaos, only to realize that the main issue is your internal state of disorder.
Anyone who has gone on a lengthy meditation retreat or done some level of sitting with the circus of the mind can tell you that. That’s one of the reasons why I created the Alchemical Soul Work Workbook: to help you dissolve these mental distortions and find the inner gold of clarity. (You can grab it right now for 15% off in our Halloween special.)
This article will help you name the monkeys in this inner circus – those thinking traps or cognitive distortions that pollute your mind with noise and chaos. Let’s explore them.
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Table of contents
13 Thinking Traps Your Ego Uses to Silence Your Soul’s Truth
Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them. – Epictetus
I remember learning about these mind traps, or cognitive distortions, years ago (thanks CBT!). But I’ve never put as much importance into them as I have now.
Becoming a parent has destroyed many of my coping mechanisms, but not these.
Each one is like a little sword that cuts through the bullshit of the ego. They are time-tested cognitive angels that you can turn to without fail in times of need.
Ultimately, to me, the true beauty and power of understanding these thinking traps is that they free you from so much stress and overwhelm.
They clear the internal fog and help you to reconnect with the wise and quiet presence of your Soul.
So without further ado, here they are:
1. All-or-Nothing Thinking (aka., Black-and-White Thinking)
“It’s either good or bad”
In a nutshell: This thinking trap is about seeing things in an extreme and polarized way. They are either good or bad, friends or enemies. I am either right or wrong, nice or mean, successful or a failure.
How it silences your Soul’s truth: Your Soul is a creature of the realm of “both/and” rather than the territory of “either/or.” This thinking trap forces you and others into one little box that distorts your ability to honor nuance. Instead of seeing that you can be both a good person and make a mistake, you see yourself as being bad, full stop.
2. Overgeneralization
“Things will always be this way”
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In a nutshell: This is about seeing a single negative experience as a sign that all future experiences of the same nature will be negative. For example, if you mess up in a conversation with someone, you assume that you will mess up in all future conversations with them.
How it silences your Soul’s truth: On a Soul level, you know that each moment is new and precious. Yet this mental distortion causes you to believe that one bad experience will repeat endlessly into your future. It kills your ability to respond to people and situations with fresh eyes and a receptive heart.
3. Negative Mental Filter
“That one bad thing ruins everything”
In a nutshell: This cognitive distortion involves picking one single negative detail within yourself, another, or a situation, and focusing on it to the exclusion of everything else. No positive input or evidence can come in.
How it silences your Soul’s truth: It’s a way your ego self-sabotages you, making you believe that the one negative comment you got only matters. It dulls your capacity to experience joy and gratitude, and limits your ability to see the whole picture.
4. Discounting the Positive
“I just got lucky”
In a nutshell: This trap is similar to the previous one, but with a slight shift. Instead of focusing only on the negative, this distortion causes you to refuse any positive experiences, telling you that “they don’t count.” It’s often sourced from low self-worth.
How it silences your Soul’s truth: When you get a compliment, this thinking trap shouts, “They’re just being polite” or “I just got lucky.” Your Soul knows that you are worthy of kindness and success. But this trap limits your ability to accept your own inherent value.
5. Mind Reading
“I know that’s what they’re thinking”
In a nutshell: This thinking trap occurs when you assume you know what another person is thinking with little or no evidence. Usually, this is done in a negative context, as in, “I know that they cut me off in traffic because they think I drive like a grandma.”
How it silences your Soul’s truth: Often, this thinking trap is confused with intuition, when really it’s just a false projection of the mind. It clouds your ability to see different perspectives or angles, replacing it with a story you’ve invented about someone’s reality.
6. Fortune-Telling
“I know what’s going to happen”
In a nutshell: Similar to mind reading but different. This thinking trap is about making assumptions, but in a future context. It’s about predicting that something negative will happen, and believing that as a fact, based on little evidence.
How it silences your Soul’s truth: Your Soul honors your self-sovereignty and agency to create your own future. It knows that nothing is written in stone. But this thinking trap makes you believe that suffering or failure is inevitable, creating feelings of hopelessness and anxiety.
7. Catastrophizing
“This is the worst thing ever”
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In a nutshell: This thinking trap is all about overly emphasizing and exaggerating the importance of a problem. It turns something negative, like a setback, into a life-ending catastrophe.
How it silences your Soul’s truth: Your Soul is wise and knows that most failures or setbacks aren’t the end of the world and that “this too shall pass.” This mental distortion takes situations and spins them into horror scenarios, flooding your system with panic and silencing your more centered inner voice.
8. Minimization
“This doesn’t matter at all”
In a nutshell: As the opposite of catastrophizing, minimization is about shrinking the value of your positive experiences, qualities, or achievements.
How it silences your Soul’s truth: Often, this thinking trap is confused as being humble – but it’s false humility. It obscures the truth that the good things which happen to you, your gifts, and blessings, are all real and valuable. Your Soul understands this, but minimization tells you that they don’t matter. It keeps you small.
9. Emotional Reasoning
“I feel this way, therefore it must be true”
In a nutshell: This cognitive distortion is all about assuming that your feelings reflect facts or the absolute reality. It blocks the ability to use logic or see from different and more truthful perspectives.
How it silences your Soul’s truth: Feelings aren’t always the truth. Often, they’re signals, not facts. While your Soul says, “I notice that this feeling is coming up,” emotional reasoning says, “This bad feeling means I’m a bad person.” It transforms a temporary emotion into more of a rigid identity.
10. “Should” Statements
“I should do this, they should do that”
In a nutshell: This is when you enforce rules about how you or another “should” behave or feel. It’s a cage that the mind creates, creating a sense of resentment, judgment, and anxiety.
How it silences your Soul’s truth: Your deeper Self has a flexible, compassionate, and respectful approach towards yourself and others. “Should” statements, on the other hand, are a form of tyranny, imposing a preordained worldview that must strictly be adhered to. It creates an imaginary rulebook that limits intuition and fluidity.
11. Labeling
“I’m selfish, they’re stupid”
In a nutshell: Based on one negative experience, this thinking trap immediately jumps to assigning a label to yourself or others. For instance, if you didn’t get that promotion, you’re “a failure,” or if your favorite public figure doesn’t conform to your belief system, they’re “a fraud.” Labeling is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of “I made a mistake,” you say, “I am a mistake,” or “I am a failure.”
How it silences your Soul’s truth: A label is a one-dimensional prison that doesn’t allow for growth. It says, “You’re a mistake” instead of seeing the Soul’s truth that “you made a mistake.” It suppresses the positive parts of your character and reduces you to a static idea.
12. Personalization
“It’s because of me”
In a nutshell: This thinking trap is about taking things personally and blaming yourself for circumstances outside of your control. For example, if someone doesn’t respond to your text message, you might think, “It’s because they don’t like me and are avoiding me.”
How it silences your Soul’s truth: Personalization takes you away from your inner groundedness by making other people’s actions always about you. It burdens you with guilt, shame, and anxiety.
13. Blaming
“It’s all their fault”
In a nutshell: The opposite of personalization, this distortion causes you to believe that others are always responsible for your pain and choices. It feeds a victim identity.
How it silences your Soul’s truth: Your Soul honors personal power and responsibility. But this thinking trap turns you into a helpless victim. It causes you to give your power away to others, limiting your ability to make active change.
How to Cut Through the Fog and Find Your Soul’s Voice
How are you feeling after reading that list? If you’re like me, you may feel a little sheepish, being able to identify with many. Don’t worry, you’re not alone!
Meditation, regular journaling, and shadow work are all powerful ways of keeping you grounded and getting you out of your head.
It’s thinking traps like these that inspired me to create a framework to liberate myself from these exact distortions – one that’s based on ancient esoteric principles of inner transformation. That’s why I created The Alchemical Soul Work Workbook. It’s a problem-solving tool that helps you to systematically break down these ego distortions and find more of a sense of freedom, clarity, and refined purpose.
You can grab it for 15% off right now as a Halloween special.
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I hope familiarizing or revisiting these thinking traps brings you more clarity. Please feel free to print them out, screenshot them, journal about them, or share them with someone if you resonate. Taking the time to internalize them is so worth it. And don’t forget that if you need extra help breaking through them, the Workbook I’ve created can support you with that.
Tell me, which of these thinking traps comes up the most for you? Leave a comment below and let me know! I read every response.
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I heard my voice, the one speaking to me thru my thoughts, say nearly everyone of those prompts. I did not know I was doing such damage to myself. I will need to print out the list to keep an eye on it. It was so many of them that affect me, I am shocked, and feel a bit overwhelmed taking them all on. Thank you for the clarity!