If there’s anything I’ve learned in my 15 years on the spiritual path, it’s that all the meditating, reading, and healing techniques in the world don’t mean shit if you’re ignoring the body.
Yes, some of these “top-down” (aka, mind-to-body) techniques create shifts. But many others reinforce dissociation, and some even encourage ego inflation and spiritual narcissism (non-duality, anyone?).
What I want to emphasize here is that starting with a “bottom-up” approach to healing (aka, body-to-mind) is a smarter, more effective, and more sane approach to any form of spirituality or trauma healing path.
Why? Because the body is your foundation, your anchor, your tether to this world. It carries more wisdom and intuitive capacity than you may know or give it credit for.
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In the words of trauma specialist Peter Levine, quoting poet D. H. Lawrence,
“My belief is in the blood and flesh as being wiser than the intellect. The body-unconscious is where life bubbles up in us. It is how we know that we are alive, alive to the depths of our souls and in touch somewhere with the vivid reaches of the cosmos.”
So, where do you start with nervous system regulation (aka, having a calm body and mind), especially if you’re a highly sensitive, deep-thinking person? Let’s dig into that.
First, I want to share a little about why and how this topic is so important to me:
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My Experience With Overwhelm, Burnout, and Bypassing the Body’s Wisdom
The irony is that for most of my healing spiritual path, I’ve overlooked the wisdom of the body, bypassing it to favor more ethereal and ‘mental’ paths. (Religious trauma that conditions you to see the body as evil as the root cause, anyone?)
I have written about the vagus nerve, somatic bodywork, and the meaning of muscle tension before – but it was never something I pursued further or went too deeply into.
I even had life-changing therapy with a somatic therapist for over a year and did training with a nervous system expert … but it never “clicked” in my mind that, “Wait, I need to stop the top-down healing approaches and shift gears to actively incorporate this bottom-up approach into my life.”
This is an example of just how long mind-body integration can sometimes take, especially if you’ve experienced intense dissociation and identity loss as a child. For me, it took about five years to start shifting gears.
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When the Wake Up Call Finally Came …
The final “wake up” push came when I became a parent and started having more chronic fatigue flare-ups – despite doing all the usual healing routines that “worked before.”
I realized that as a highly sensitive person, my nervous system was deeply dysregulated, overwhelmed, and starting to burn out.
Scrambling to parent, do housework, run a business, breastpump 4-10 types a day for my son, deal with toxic family members, listening to the news (Deepak Chopra and the Epstein files, I mean what the f*ck), grieving for the loss of endless lives in the wars, keeping on top of chores, maintaining a relationship, and all the other million tasks of everyday life was just … becoming too much.
Once I started researching “burnout symptoms,” I began connecting the dots. It was then that I stumbled across the words of Dr Claire Plumbly in her book The Trauma of Burnout, where she described burnout happening “when stress is inescapable, then we are stretched to maximum for too long, causing our nervous systems to get stuck in survival mode.”
Bingo. I had found the missing link. And thanks to actively starting to regulate my nervous system, I’m finally starting to recover my energy, vitality, and soul again.
20+ Ways to Start Regulating Your Nervous System as a Sensitive Person (What I Do)
“There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy.” – Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra
Burnout, exhaustion, and existential overwhelm are almost inevitable to experience at some point in life, especially as highly sensitive people.
When you process, feel, and experience life 10-50x louder than a neurotypical person, you need to practice more care and make it a fundamental part of your daily life.
This isn’t a nice-to-have routine. This is an essential-and-non-negotiable part of daily life for the highly sensitive person.
Without learning to regulate yourself every day, stressors start piling up to the point of physical and mental illnesses. Without taking care of your body every day and bringing it down to parasympathetic calmness, the result is a dysregulated nervous system that looks like:
- Brain fog
- Lack of concentration
- Lack of motivation
- Overthinking and rumination
- Anxiety and nervousness
- Feelings of existential dread
- Mood swings
- Emotional numbness
- Fatigue and lethargy
- Muscle tension
- Poor sleep
- Digestive problems
- More illness
So, where to start regulating your nervous system? Here are some things that I currently do (not every one all the time, but at different times and frequencies):
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- Predictable routines (not glamorous, but the nervous system loves familiarity)
- No social media usage at the beginning or end of the day (I try to only use it for work midday)
- Lots of water
- Healthy, home-cooked, and simple meals
- Reading before bed with a soft light, such as a salt lamp or Turkish mosaic lamp
- Soft blankets or handmade crochet ones
- Cuddling with pets or loved ones whenever possible during the day (usually beginning and ending)
- Taking a slow walk in nature
- Drinking hot herbal tea (I love adaptogens like Holy Basil or digestives like Peppermint)
- Grounding meditation at the start of the day, before chores/work
- Deep breathing meditation for 5-10 minutes, lying on the ground before bed
- Self-massage or acupressure
- Simple yoga and stretching
- Orienting to sources of joy in the environment (a bird, flower, cloud, painting)
- Noise-cancelling headphones when out
- Journaling by candlelight
- Incense or natural oils like lavender
- Listening to sounds of nature, Tibetan singing bowls, or chanting
- Humming or whistling
- Going to places where human connection feels enjoyable, such as the park
- Playing with fur or human family (board games, throwing the ball, etc.)
- Having technology-free days
- Moving more slowly and multi-tasking less
- Creating checklists to reduce mental strain
- Mirror work gazing after a shower for a minute, saying affirmations
- Comforting the inner child through doing things they love
- Setting boundaries with others by having prepared “scripts”
I wrote an article on Soul Recovery a couple of weeks back, and it’s a perfect complement to this post (with many more soothing suggestions). Obviously, there are so many other things I could write here. But this list would be fifty pages long, so I’m keeping it short and simple to give you a taste of what’s possible.
Nervous System Regulation IS a Spiritual Path
Learning to calm, ground, and regulate your nervous system is a spiritual path itself because the body is your ever-present field of wisdom.
The fire in your belly, the contraction in your chest, and the dullness in your head all reveal what you need to know about a person, situation, or inner shadow.
Your body is a thermometer of truth, a transmitter of wisdom, and an oracle of guidance.
As a sensitive person, you have both the blessing (and the curse at times) of feeling these physical sensations in an enhanced way.
That is one of your greatest gifts. Now it’s time to harness it.
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Hello Luna and Sol
Actually Im in a dilemma and I’m stagnant right now.
It’s just that I’m can choose either of the choices. I can only meditate at night and I started at 20 pm. I can only meditate when mom is sleeping. You know that I have bodily issues which means I can’t meditate as fast as I could. I can only let it happen in the present moment. I have never tell mom that I have been on a spiritual journey for a long time. So I started from 20pm to 00 am, which is only four hours. It’s not enough time for me to be able to retrieve the remaining soul, bcs by meditation, just each step requires a long time to achieve one. Seeing this, I just think that it’s impossible to retrieve the remaining soul that make my inner child fully healed.
I cant force myself to draw either. Bcs when I try to draw what I love, it just made me disown my soul no matter what, bcs what I love is what I held dearest that it was a part of my inner child. I can’t imagine if mom could hurt my inner child again when she sees my artworks. I have also tried to draw things as a job, but that also make me disown my soul too, bcs my I know that I don’t like them actually and I have always love what I love.
And you said that I should take care of my soul. It’s important for me not to disown my soul anymore. I’m still in a state of where my inner child still has wounds. Tbh my inner child is still not genuinely ok yet. I can’t watch videos that remind me of the disgust. I can’t attach to the things that would hurt my inner child’s feelings.
I have recalled all the memories that hurt my inner child. I’m sure I have indeed recall all and don’t miss anything anymore. But still, my inner child isn’t fully healed from the remaining wound that buried in my soul. It require meditations, and it needs a lot to retrieve the remaining soul to be fully ensouled.
But I feel like I’m stagnant right now. There is no right path that I can go forward to. I’m still stuck here, in a state of which my inner child is still wounded which means I can only take care of my inner child. Drawing makes me disowning my soul and its impossible to retrieve the remaining soul too. If you were me, which is the best thing to do right now? Something that makes me able to draw, while able to take care of my soul too.
‘It’s just that I’m can choose either of the choices.’ There’s a typo, I mean ‘can’t’
With bodily issues, meditate is a difficult thing for me to do.
To retrieve the remaining inner child parts, it can only be done from meditation.