The Dark Night of the Soul is one of the most painful, isolating, and destabilizing experiences in life. Yet it is also a tremendous blessing in disguise.
As a primordial process of death and rebirth, the Dark Night of the Soul is a period in life where we are stripped of everything that is false. The veils of illusion are torn from our eyes. We suddenly see the fragility of ourselves, other people, and existence. And, out of nowhere, we start asking big questions such as “What is the meaning of life?” “What happens after death?” and “Why was I born?”
The more we start to question our lives, the more deception we come across. We see the lies perpetuated by society. We see the ways we have become wounded and behave dysfunctionally. And we may even notice a sense of emptiness inherent in our lives. Something feels missing. But what?
For many people, the Dark Night of the Soul heralds big life shifts. We may quit our jobs, leave our marriage, and seek out something more meaningful and aligned with who we truly are. For some, the Dark Night is a call to begin the spiritual journey toward enlightenment and reconnecting with the Soul.
Dark Night of the Soul Questions
When people first enter this dark period of life, they often have many questions. It can feel scary to lose interest in what you once valued and have your life turned upside down. Due to its destabilizing effect on our lives, the Dark Night is synonymous with what is known as the spiritual emergency.
Here are some commonly asked questions which might help to relax your mind a bit:
Most people who go through the Dark Night feel a sense of loneliness, isolation, anxiety, and depression. It’s common to crave for solitude and quiet/comforting environments. While some describe the experience as a death and rebirth, others describe it as the feeling of disintegrating or falling through a void.
The Dark Night of the Soul is an experience that is unique to everyone (although it does share many common characteristics). For one person it may last a few months, for others, it may last a year or many years. Most importantly, please understand that this is a temporary experience and many people can relate to what you’re experiencing. You’re not alone, although it might feel that way.
There are many ways to answer this question, but it’s crucial to understand first and foremost that the Dark Night is a natural and organic process. Just as trees go through a period of losing their leaves in Autumn/Winter, so too do we as humans (metaphorically speaking). We all go through cycles of death and rebirth; periods where we are full of life and energy and then periods where we need to slow down and go within. The Dark Night helps us to stop and tune into our inner selves. It is a process that goes hand-in-hand with the spiritual awakening process and finding our true life purpose.
Good question! Think of the Dark Night of the Soul as entering a prolonged Winter period. What comes after Winter? Spring! After the Dark Night we emerge refreshed, renewed, and ready to walk our true life paths. We have gained clarity, wisdom, tenderness, and the ability to tune into ourselves during the Dark Night period. These qualities we then bring into our lives. It’s quite common to start big projects, make powerful life changes, and explore our newly found gifts after the Dark Night of the Soul. It’s a blessing in disguise.
Dark Night of the Soul Test
Are you experiencing loneliness, isolation, depression, and soul loss? Do you seem to be developing new perspectives and views regarding life? If so, you may be experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul. Take our free Dark Night of the Soul Test to confirm (or challenge) your suspicions below:
How do you feel after receiving your results? Feel free to share in the comments.
Also, if you need more in-depth guidance, see our Dark Night of the Soul Journal for more help.
What has your experience during the Dark Night been like so far? I’d love to hear below. Your words might inspire or support someone else on this difficult journey.
All the questions on the test were spot on on how my Life is now. I am so relieved that I am not alone and that there is actually an end to THIS. The Dark Night of the Soul, huh? So that’s what THIS is… I just told a friend of mine 15 minutes ago that I don’t recognize myself anymore and on this test is loss of identity! I was shocked! I just said those words! Thank you for letting me know that I’m not alone in this and This too shall pass ❤️
I am slowly coming out of my dark night. It hit me last year in August 2021. I was thinking to myself wow, I have a fiance, house, good paying job, friends and family and a sense of loving life. I was very comfortable. I was in the gym working out when it hit. Mid work out out of no where I thought to myself, what happens when we die? what’s the point of doing this if I’m going to die, nothing matters anymore, my life I built my friends and family will be all gone. All of my original meaning in life disappeared. I felt cold and cheated that this happened to me. I was crying lots and wasn’t in the best head space. I sat there for 3 months in that mindset and was miserable. I felt that I was missing something and started thinking to myself that maybe there is a higher power. I actually felt opened to it which before I thought people were fools for believing God. I got a Bible and started to read it and to me it just feels right. I feel like this was the start of my climb out of the hole I was in. After that I realized I was friends with people that I no longer agree with and I dropped them. I realized that my perfect life before wasn’t actually perfect and not what I actually wanted to do. I am now selling my house leaving my job in pursuit of the career that I actually want. And I now feel like I’m actually on a awakened path. I still haven’t felt happy like before and I get times of despair and meaningless but I no longer view it as negative as i now have a direction of where i need to put my life. I actually had never heard of a dark night of the soul until today. I found this by accident. And reading the symptoms I’ve had every single one of them. Thank you for showing up in my life when you did!
I have been disconnected from God for a while now. Not truly knowing what I believe. I feel lost and not sure who I am. Not sure if I’m going through the dark night. My Aunt died two weeks ago and ever since I’ve seen 11:11 on the clock daily. I’m hoping it’s her telling me something. I’m not even sure what a spiritual awakening would do for me because I don’t even know what I believe in. I’m very angry with my life, disconnected, and sad
I also had a dream of my mothers death before my Aunts death. What is happening?
Well I scored a 95.
Last night is when I realized I don’t know who I am anymore. I repress a lot cause I’m a single mother of 4 and I’m barley making it. I don’t like for my children to see me so angry all the time and sad and in pain. So I push it down. I’m at my braking point. I found y’all this morning cause I couldn’t sleep. As I’m reading through my tears I have learned a lot already and can’t wait to start my journey. I want to find me again.
I am a Virgo (August 25th.) I gave birth to boy/girl twins. My son died at 5 mos old from vax. My daughter died at 29 years old after husband strangled her but is a CI for cops so he’s protected. I have been struggling with so much loss throughout my life, but stayed positive, active and social. Until last night. I realized that the 11 11 I have been seeing since 1990 when my son died and picked up in frequency when daughter died in 2019. She 29 forever. She died 29 years after he died. 2+9= 11. She represents 11 and the time distance= 11. I am lost… I don’t understand anything. I have lost joy, peace, creativity, love and absolutely, me.
I have visions (Cherokee bloodline, I am told) I see the world humanity is creating and the beauty of it. I have been so excited about the future after these times. Now! Why encourage anyone about the future. I couldn’t even decipher 11 for 29 years. Why couldn’t I? Who am I?
I don’t know what to do anymore and I’m tired
I have been going through the Dark Night of the Soul for at least a decade and it is really painful. Nothing is going right for me. I am completely lost. I tried finding a mental health practitioner but no one in my insurance network is taking on new clients, so I have no choice but to try and cope on my own, which I’m not doing well at all. I have PTSD and severe depression, which is disabling. And now, after being on our state’s rent relief we are finally being evicted. I don’t think I’m going to recover.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a tough period Fenris. Sometimes it seems like everything comes at us at once. I’d recommend finding local spiritual communities, often they provide support groups or volunteers and don’t charge very much or at all. We have a local Buddhist sangha not too far away. Just make sure they’re trauma-informed if you decide to do some of their meditation practices. All the best, just remember no suffering lasts forever.
I’m not sure if I really going through” dark night of the soul ” moment right now, cause I am experiencing this type of feeling quiet a long time in the past and messed up my life. I even homeless for a while.Then I got diagnosed schizophrenia. After 4 years,I getting stable compare to past time, have job and living at parent home, but I still change jobs cause of sensitive human problem, and I will occasionally feeling lost from my “stable” life after watching some type of TV shows fiction and past family probems, feel want to go out being alone instead of be with family or stay safe at home at night. I often try to avoid staying in this state for too long or else I won’t be able to attend day to day work life and my goals, but the feeling of wanting to escape will emerge time to time.
I’m sorry to hear that Shien, I hope you find the inner peace that you’re after. Sometimes it’s a long journey of self-discovery, sometimes it’s an immediate insight into the nature of things.
All the best.
For me is a long walk since I was a child tough I ve been into so much trauma with severe depression harming hating myself I ve gone from darkness to rebirth I reinvented myself so many times.the past years for me were full of numbers,connections,deja vu ,an euphoric condition in which I felt part of all that it is.3 years ago I falled into a severe agitation depression,agony where my worst fears were exposed to me as a torture,my days were filled with horror same as the nights full of horrid nightmares sleep paralysis and crying full in blood faces,I ve been to the doctors but their meds revealed for what they are criminal mass killers and I wouldn’t recommend it to no one in my life…fast forward I get it slow by myself ,I faced my fears I ve beard my nightmares I hugged my darkness and it dissolved not into light but into nothingness I m that amazing nothing without any exist…I understand that all is temporary and impermanent and nothing will last forever,that our internal states may change from dark to light from calmness to restlessness we are indeed yang and yang …I do miss home that place where I belong and I miss that place since I came into this world….all became meaningless for me ,pleasure,career,relationship,all became nothing and everything life itself is nothing more than Maya the illusion of living
Hello, Over the years, I’ve appreciated many of your articles; you write excellent material. However, I’m having trouble with “The Dark Night of the Soul’s” terminology.
As a healer, I believe that a person’s “Soul” is linked to higher dimensional consciousness. This is the location of one’s higher self, which is surrounded by heavenly white/golden light and love. There isn’t any darkness here because everything is pure consciousness. A soul never becomes dark; people who have grown dark (evil) have separated themselves from their souls. As a result, they are frequently regarded as soulless.
When a person goes through the following scenarios, I believe it is more of an ego death. This, I believe, occurs when we let go of old programming that no longer resonates with us. We haven’t yet established a solid foundation for our new ideological system. In fact, we may not be aware of our true beliefs during this process.
Kind regards
Sherry
Hi Sherry, I think you might be misunderstanding “dark night of the soul.” This term isn’t referring to souls becoming darkened, but an experience in life that we go through. These two articles may help to clear things up: https://lonerwolf.com/the-dark-night-of-the-soul/ + https://lonerwolf.com/what-is-a-soul/ <3
I have been in this state since 2008. It was from years of religious abuse, a divorce and betrayal en masse by people I once believed were close friends. I am not the same person but more cynical and observant. I am more critical and sensitive to hypocrisy and class thought and sycophantic mobs. The anger and zeal I once had has now metastasized into begrudging apathy. I STOPPED singing. I have not prayed in a heartfelt manner in years. I am eerily content and patiently await some type of transformational experience in my son’s life that will allow me to hope whimsically once again.
Thank You so much for this article!
I finally know what is happening with me last 12 months, actually I am on the end of dark night I guess. Finding my answers and new world around. Still feel alone , I can’t be around people yet but everything in the right direction , I can finally feel light on the end of this tunnel
P.
I’m just lost since my son had his accident and ended with brain damage .. I lost myself I lost my family .. now they are all back I’m still lost and trying to please everyone but I’m not happy I sad everyday … I don’t want to be hear some days and others I couldn’t imagine leaving my kids I seem confused and need help ….
I so am going thru this. I also feel i have a higher calling, I think i’m here to heal but first need to heal within from a lifetime (still continues) of trama and abuse. This however has made me feel so alone, depressed even suicidal. I’ve lost everyone and everything…God please help me, i dunno if imma make it
I was a very short time from ending my own life. I went on an impromptu retreat with “get dead or get God” as my motivating words.
First, don’t kill yourself. This is temporary! and you are not alone.
Two things: search for other folks going through what you are (sites like these are a place to start), look for ‘spiritual directors’ and or leaders of your faith tradition. some will have experienced la noche oscura del alma, some (surprisingly) will not have, so keep searching! I have located two people in as many days in my circle.
Second: continue reading on sites as this one. there is a lot of information available. This was the first site I visited over a 12 hour day of reading and note taking. there are many.
The direction you seek is available here online. fellow pilgrims to walk with you will best be in person.
Going forward, keeping spiritually attuned folks as company: mentors, spiritual directors, pastors and the like, will be useful.
God Bless.
Walkingchipmunk
I just skimmed the most recent post and found something I can relate to. Melody said that she knows the government watches her. I truly believe the same thing. And I worked for the U.S. Federal Government for 9.5 years. I came to this comment area via something a psychic told me on a phone reading. She said, “you will be going through a ‘hard ascension’ next year,” and implied that all will be well(especially financially speaking) after surviving it. I recently found “dark night of the soul” in something I had read, and I chose to “follow or pull on the string,” so to speak; what I ended up with was more than one explanation of the “dark night” scenario. But this was a week or so before speaking to the psychic. And now, I am truly overwhelmed finding myself posting to this site(not like Australia was not a definite consideration in my moving from where I live; it was[and still might be] a definite consideration). In the fall of 2019, I noticed my High Desert skies began to be infiltrated with drones. Now the drones and “invisible” airplanes(I say invisible because they are difficult to even spot, and when they are spotted by myself, they disappear instantly depending on their angles to the sun, and other maneuvers, due to their “special” paint coatings that I have witnessed with others in different phases) that watch me constantly to the point of nervous exhaustion or complete insanity. I know who is behind it, suffice it to say. I lost my Wife in September 2020, Step-Dad in December 2020, my Mom in April 2021, and my Bro-in-Law in June 2021. To say I’m alone, and without family support now would be an understatement. I really just can’t picture what the universe has in store for me at this time. Confusion and fear are my constant companions. For what it is worth, thanks for reading. Cheers.
I began with knowing my relationship with my husband was over. Then began seeing in spirit, meaning I actually see demons and faries and orbs of light. I grew angrier than I ever thought possible as id always taken the blame weather or not i was responsible for that blame, I realize that the myans were correct in their 2012 assessment of their calendar end as I truly believe 2012 was the beginning of the end of this world! Personally I began saying and doing things i had and still have no idea to their meaning or origin and believe myself a ping pong ball between the worlds of good and evil. Truly believe i was here in a last attempt to bring lucifer back home, just to realize i was HIS PAWN rather than making a dent in the devils game. I found shapeshifters are real, as are light b ings that are in the dark doing dark deeds. I was actually told that i was correct in assessment of being “watched” by the government and them cloning EVERY electronic device i got “proof” of devils and demons and light beings doing dark deeds. They actually inhabited my own body and mind making me hate with ferocity I could never before have imagined and “in the name of Jesus leave me “ DID NOT WORK!!! However, I stumbled on “I AM THE I AM AND YOU WILL LEAVE ME DEMON OF _____” (rage,hate,anger,cussing,etc) and FINALLY began making progress towards getting back with my father in heaven!!! I don’t know who or what i am that i went through SUCH INTENSE awakening, but im told the world has approximately 9 years left. I believe in God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost of righteousness but I learned “as above so below “ is just as real as the enemy also has its trinity of evil. The Bible today IS NOT ENTIRELY CORRECT! And Jesus himself is or has been here ALL ALONG!!! He has incarnations as female also as it was how he was to reach Satan for one last attempt at bringng him home. “They will make war on the lord in the last days “ means JESUS IS OR HAS BEEN HERE AND ISNT AND HASNT BEEN SITTING IDLY BY ON HIS BUTT WAITING to COME BACK AND TAKE OVER!!! Jesus became sin was WAY more than a metaphor!!! Anyway. Theres SO much more i saw, learned, and know but too much to write here. Just please, everyone, hang in there hang onto Jesus and righteous ways of light and love because an end IS IN SIGHT!!! I love you all going through this struggle and thank you lonewolf so very much for your site, courage to share, and heart to help those of us going through such testing by the evil beings of this planet!!!
I can’t truly pin the precise date, but if I would guess somewhere near 10/2016 is when I got kicked out of my home by my ex-wife and I’ve been on a downward spiral ever since. With the most recent event is being a empath and doing time in prison. It wasn’t as lovely as you would imagine. I know life is filled with learning experiences that is unique to us all and we have to figure it out on our own, whether it be good or bad. I have just been overloaded with bad/negative ones, it’s like I hit bottom and every time I try to get back on my feet so I can start to pull myself out of the hole. Someone kicks me and it’s easier to kick a person when they are down and recorded on there phone then to help someone up seams to be the norm. My mind feels cloudy and/or sluggish almost like I got caught in an avalanche and the weight is overwhelming and I don’t know up from down. How long will this phase last of my live last?
I am somewhere in this journey right now. Am completely lost and completely drained emotionaly, spirituly and physicaly. I cant be away from people, and i cant be near people. It started many months before the night of cleansing. The night i cried out to God for an answer. I opened my soul to the air of the evening, God came into me and emptied my soul. Time stoped, the squirle cage in my head stoped, the noise stoped, i was in a state that i cannot find words for. Than God showed me who i was. Than for days answers came to me one by one that defined who i was and why the people of my life were put before me, the path behind me was so very clear. Than as time passed i began to realize that that night was just a door into the darkness i am in now. The fear, confusion, loss of all direction, loss of purpose, has led to what at times seems to be complete maddness. The emotional swings are debilitating. I have looked for answers and guidence in a few different ways. There are none. I have been to places in my head/soul that were once clear and defined and find nothing but darkness and loanlyness, the pain is undescribable. All drive is gone. I think now that the trigger for this part of my journey was a blessing rether than a betrayal. I will keep walking and trying what ever it is im trying, waiting for the replenishment of my soul as God wants it. I hope i make it.
For many years I have experience this disconnect from life and everyone around me. I experienced depression and anxiety. Depression because I didn’t understand who I am and anxiety because I was waiting for something that wasn’t clear to me. I lived with a desire to commit suicide only to be stopped by this energy of light and I mean this literally. In one of those moments I asked this light to guide my path to it. I got the answer to my prayers but it left me with more questions than answers, how does the whole human experience connect with this invisible energy that honestly wants me to live this human experience. Lately I have been feeling some answers, a sense of walking peacefully, I noticed that my ego is confused and wants to take charge and this cause me a lot of emotional pain and something within me feels like all of this is changing my way of thinking. It’s hard to have an emotional conflict, you want to cry out to god to make it stop. I am learning that my sadness feels like I am carrying the pain of the world and I can’t help but feel compassionate. I have much to learn but I think everything will be alright
I completely understand what this was like. September 12th 2016, my whole world fell apart. My husband was in prison, my dad died, lost my house, and then my kids. For 5 years I wondered if I was invisible if anybody could actually see me actually felt like I was invisible. I didn’t know who I was, I didn’t know why I was here, and I have come to realize now 5 years later, that it was because of my lost connection with the higher power I’ve known since childhood. Now, that I’m healing from all this immense trauma from my childhood and from my adult life, I’ve had profound realizations. My mother was murdered and I was 15, and I thought I had healed from that. But I was shown, exactly how she had felt, because I was in exactly the same situation. Now I have this feeling of wholeness in my heart. That I’ve never had in my entire life. So just know, this does not last forever, only as long as you deny your spiritual existence, and continue to operate from a place of ego, and self will run riot. You must learn to humble yourself and seek the answers through meditation, prayer, or however it is that you contact whatever your higher power is, whether it be God, Buddha, whatever, you have to ask for guidance and help, in order to receive any relief. I hope the best for everybody who reads this, and I will continue to pray for our world and the people in it. Eternal love and light.
Nothing stopped me when I overdosed and hung myself last year. It took my partner 24 full hours in the house to even think about starting to consider that I wasn’t even in the house. No one cares about me here and no one cares about me on the other side. I have no loved ones in this world and no loved ones in whatever afterlife awaits. Fuck everyone and everything! I’m dead.
I can relate to you. A suicide attempt many years ago. A narcissistic mother, dad died young from a massive heart attack, sister was murdered. I’ve always been on my own. Mom died 7 months ago. I received a small IRA where I was named as beneficiary. An uncle stole everything else, car, jewelry, everything. When I confronted him, he called me “mentally ill” and told me to shut up. Several cousins were verbally abusive as well. I no longer have even a pretense of family. Now I am clearly going through a dark night of the soul. My entire sense of reality has shifted. Everything has somehow changed – massively. I wouldn’t say that I’m depressed, just lost. I don’t know up from down anymore. I have no idea why I am alive, but I’m going to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I am writing a book. I have a lot to say. I have learned from watching lots of animal rescue videos. Animals, especially dogs, inherently know how to live authentic lives. Allow yourself to not know why things are the way they are. Also allow yourself to live authentically. Reach out to authentic people, enjoy beauty, laughter, nature, simplicity and innocence. Let go of the A**holes. Allow yourself to live, and enjoy the good stuff in life. Don’t let the A**holes win. The best revenge is a good life. Create a good life for yourself. Start with a walk in the park.
I totally resonate with this long dark night, it was brought to my attention this morning. And I’m glad I was told about it. 2018 I believe was the start of this darkness. I lost my everything, my husband my children hated me because I left and was alienated, last year I lost my oldest son, who was my very best friend, and almost to date, I was in a car accident that took my life, but yet here I am. I live with the healing of a broken back, but I also live without my most valued treasures. I’m lost and haven’t any hope and my quality of life has diminished over time.
So thank you for the information you have provided, I may see the light again one day
Thank you so much for this article and helping shed some very helpful light on a really dark time.
To give some context, I lost my mum 4 years ago, which is when I think I unknowingly entered the dark night. I was so lost and disjointed that I split up with my husband of 10years because I couldn’t deal with the attachment. Made a string of bad decisions and have been trying to find my way out of it ever since. I don’t believe in religion so I prayed to the universe to help guide me, the universe listened and had a chance encounter with a yogi who is the one who started to talk to me about my soul and that’s when I started to to y own research on dark nights etc, which is when I found you.
I have tried to seek numerous methods of help, but no one ever quite gets it. It doesn’t feel like depression, just a constant feeling of being lost with no purpose or direction, but every time I explain this, most people think I’m going crazy and so I just gave up trying to seek help…I feel like this site is the only thing that has come close to explaining how I feel, so thank you so much for helping me feel like I’m not alone, it gives me faith that I’ll get through this dark night and find the light I’ve been looking for.
Thanks again
Thank you Mariam. I can relate to that experience of no one understanding that feeling of being lost, aimless, and without direction – it can feel crazy-making sometimes. I’m so glad this article/test has helped to shed more light on what you’re experiencing. ♡
During my recent dark night of the soul experience… it was horrible . Not going to lie about that ;) it was lonely, depressing, confusing and irritating. Literally had no idea what the heck was happening. I didn’t understand why all these ‘bad things’ were happening to me, and I tried to convince myself that it was because I did bad things, so it was being handed back x 10. Maybe that was true, but it did show me that my unhealthy belief that my suffering is eternal so why should I do anything? Is what is keeping me in eternal suffering without doing anything. So in conclusion I am thankful that I had this experience, because it made me realise that you. can. do. anything.