The Dark Night of the Soul is one of the most painful, isolating, and destabilizing experiences in life. Yet it is also a tremendous blessing in disguise.
As a primordial process of death and rebirth, the Dark Night of the Soul is a period in life where we are stripped of everything that is false. The veils of illusion are torn from our eyes. We suddenly see the fragility of ourselves, other people, and existence. And, out of nowhere, we start asking big questions such as “What is the meaning of life?” “What happens after death?” and “Why was I born?”
The more we start to question our lives, the more deception we come across. We see the lies perpetuated by society. We see the ways we have become wounded and behave dysfunctionally. And we may even notice a sense of emptiness inherent in our lives. Something feels missing. But what?
For many people, the Dark Night of the Soul heralds big life shifts. We may quit our jobs, leave our marriage, and seek out something more meaningful and aligned with who we truly are. For some, the Dark Night is a call to begin the spiritual journey toward enlightenment and reconnecting with the Soul.
Dark Night of the Soul Questions
When people first enter this dark period of life, they often have many questions. It can feel scary to lose interest in what you once valued and have your life turned upside down. Due to its destabilizing effect on our lives, the Dark Night is synonymous with what is known as the spiritual emergency.
Here are some commonly asked questions which might help to relax your mind a bit:
Most people who go through the Dark Night feel a sense of loneliness, isolation, anxiety, and depression. It’s common to crave for solitude and quiet/comforting environments. While some describe the experience as a death and rebirth, others describe it as the feeling of disintegrating or falling through a void.
The Dark Night of the Soul is an experience that is unique to everyone (although it does share many common characteristics). For one person it may last a few months, for others, it may last a year or many years. Most importantly, please understand that this is a temporary experience and many people can relate to what you’re experiencing. You’re not alone, although it might feel that way.
There are many ways to answer this question, but it’s crucial to understand first and foremost that the Dark Night is a natural and organic process. Just as trees go through a period of losing their leaves in Autumn/Winter, so too do we as humans (metaphorically speaking). We all go through cycles of death and rebirth; periods where we are full of life and energy and then periods where we need to slow down and go within. The Dark Night helps us to stop and tune into our inner selves. It is a process that goes hand-in-hand with the spiritual awakening process and finding our true life purpose.
Good question! Think of the Dark Night of the Soul as entering a prolonged Winter period. What comes after Winter? Spring! After the Dark Night we emerge refreshed, renewed, and ready to walk our true life paths. We have gained clarity, wisdom, tenderness, and the ability to tune into ourselves during the Dark Night period. These qualities we then bring into our lives. It’s quite common to start big projects, make powerful life changes, and explore our newly found gifts after the Dark Night of the Soul. It’s a blessing in disguise.
Dark Night of the Soul Test
Are you experiencing loneliness, isolation, depression, and soul loss? Do you seem to be developing new perspectives and views regarding life? If so, you may be experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul. Take our free Dark Night of the Soul Test to confirm (or challenge) your suspicions below:
How do you feel after receiving your results? Feel free to share in the comments.
Also, if you need more in-depth guidance, see our Dark Night of the Soul Journal for more help.
What has your experience during the Dark Night been like so far? I’d love to hear below. Your words might inspire or support someone else on this difficult journey.
Hi after a medical operation going drastically wrong my life changed forever with everyday chronic nerve pain loss of bladder bowel hale numb right leg so my life changed drastically I would like to believe there is a purpose in my pain for someone somewhere I don’t want to be I. My body or world but I want to connect with my soul to make this life that I’m living which is painful depressing and suicidal worthwhile for someone else suffering I’ve had those thoughts why me questioning God etc I just sit in a corner of my house everyday wishing questions about being useless now to my hubby kids grandkids that I cannot even babysit enjoy life with I loved life especially outdoors Really I want to die really right now (just had 3 days of severe chronic pain) but yet someone is telling me to connect with my soul. Which voice do I follow I know the right one is to connect with my soul and the easy one is just die Geraldine
I don’t feel like myself lately and I feel lost, even sick to my stomach with unusual headaches every day. The things I was once engaged and I have absolutely no interest for. I feel self-absorbed lately like I’m letting everyone around me down too. Normally I am the positive energy and light in the room that picks everyone else around them up. Now I feel so down in the dumps of sorrow and depressed. For no real obvious reason at all. Sometimes I wonder why my soul chose this path and the pain it wanted to experience. I even burst out crying yesterday for no particular reason. I’ve become extremely tired, even when I get enough sleep. I keep questioning life and I have this deep urge that my soul wants to go home. I’ve become obsessed with what happens to us after our physical body dies. I’m not like suicidal or anything but I have an urge to go back to source energy. But I know I haven’t finished my souls contract here yet and I’ll just just be re-introduced to the same issues. How do I get through this time in my life as I am deeply awakening while still being light and love for others?
I think this is awful. I’m wanting spiritual enlightenment,but i didn’t ask for this. Now i find out it could last years. I thought i was having a midlife crisis. I can’t go back to the way i was I’ve tried. I guess I’ll read as much as i can on this. It’s making me a better person but i thought i was happy being a selfish superficial bitch. Why did it just happen? Nobody can relate to me anymore.
Hello, I know I am going through the dark night of the soul.I have never felt like this before… I have most of the signs! I can’t wait to get through it… I am 73 years young, and my wife and son think I am developing either dementia, or Alsheimers…ugh! I doubt it…more like Dark night of the soul..I hate feeling this way….
I feel completely empty, alone, detached and a deeply inconsolable sorrow that I cant escape or hide from. I’m stretching out my hand longing for someone to pull me out of this dark place my mind and soul has taken me. Is it normal to find comfort in the fantasy of death during the dark night of the soul?
I’m sorry to hear that Rebecca. The Dark Night can be a very confusing time. Ultimately it seeks to be experienced, trying to hide from it or escape it can just extend it or temporarily numb it. This is best navigated with support, do find guides/counselors or therapists who can hold space for you during this time. The Dark Night is a death of some qualities within you, but it has nothing to do with a physical desire for death. It can turn that way though if unguided as we get confused as to what exactly we are experiencing. ‘Somatic experiencing’ is a fairly new modality we encourage you to try, there’s plenty of locally trained practitioners if you search on Google.
Stay strong lovely.
I feel like this every time clocks go back in October and I die with the leaves and plants. I have been diagnosed with S.A.D. many years ago but no anti-depressant or anxiety medication helps. Everything that describes Dark Night of the Soul is within me every winter and with extra light with longer days in spring and summer I feel good to get out in the light and appreciate how I feel like a different person.
I’m 18 years old but I’ve felt the dark night since I was around 14 years old. I thought there was something wrong with me but then I found this article and now I feel like there a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you Luna and The Lonerwolf team! I feel like I have hope again, which is something I’ve never felt in a long time.
I have lived in the Dark Night for as long as I remember. I’m very familiar with the Welsh concept of Hiraeth… the longing for a home that is long lost or perhaps never actually existed.
F. Scott Fitzgerald said that in a true dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning.
3 AM, known in more distant times as the witches hour, when the veil between worlds grows thin.
This is my life, since I was a small child. Being now in my 50s, I feel the curtain is about to finally draw back.
Do you think wakening up every morning at 3am when my day starts is part of dark night
I feel that personally, Dark night of the soul is uncomfortable but necessary. I have been on a road of twists and turns for some time now. I just mentioned to my boyfriend today that I felt … withdrawn. Now, I have experienced great loss in my life , all of my family. I truly feel that while I am going through what feels like a heartbeat… there is something on the other side that I cannot wait to see.
My Dark Night began just about a month ago and i am a very high energy person so when my family started noticing this they got worried so now i finally know whats going on. Thank you so much Luna & Sol!
I began my awakening journey after my first heart attack in June 2017. My dark night started in April of 2018 and I thought I was truly losing my mind I cried for 5 days and nights and had no clue what was wrong with Me. It was worse than any depression I had ever felt in my life. I kept asking God what was happening to me and out of nowhere somethi g Spirit I’m sure told me to go to my tarot to find out what I was going through. I had NEVER even thought about listening to tarot readings I barely knew what my signwas at the time(Pisces). So I went to YouTube and started looking at all the different readings until one caught my attention. It was called Sometimes You feel like a Scorpio by the reader Eyez wide open 1111. It was 2 and a half hours long and she hit the nail on the head through the whole reading and explained to me exactly what was happening to me. I was going through the Dark night of the Souls and healing emotional trauma I had suppressed since ci was a child. She talked about having to forgive my mother for all the pain she put me through. How I had to let go of all the anger and sadness to release all of it and most of all forgive ppl who had hurt me and most of all I had to forgive myself. I cried through the whole thing. I had so much emotional trauma suppressed in me it was unbelievable. Before all this happened I had aproblem being alone I couldn’t stand it for more than 5 mins. It was like I was comfortable in my own skin. Since then I LOVEy time alone and would choose to be alone rather than be with anyone. I know I go through boughts of dark nights since then but everytime I do I shed something from myself whether it be a bad habit of relationships with ppl that serve no purpose. I don’t know how long it will last but I know that it’s all for the best. Life is nothing but lessons then tests and if fail the test we repeat the lesson over and over and it hurts more n more the more we repeat it until we give in and change by learning what the lesson was meant to teach whether it be to love yourself more set boundaries cut relationships or whatever it maybe. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the way I was before but that only last a few seconds then I realize that it’s not possible and I wouldn’t if I could anyway. Im so thankful for finding your sight it’s like I find these things just like the tarot right at the precise time I need them thank you both for doing what you do and thank you Spirit for loving me so much love and light
I never ever cried so much and I feel broken and just want it to be over . I was asking for help a month ago and I had a vision of a black lonely wolf . I did not understand it at the time and it makes sense now.
Thank you for true guidance.