The only way to get over the pain is to face it, embrace it, hug it and learn the lessons embedded within it.
― Adele Theron
All of us, in some way or another, have experienced the stab of rejection, betrayal, neglect, bullying, and even humiliation at the hands of another.
But at what point does being emotionally hurt turn into becoming emotionally traumatized?
Table of contents
What is Emotional Trauma?

Emotional trauma occurs when you are exposed to a situation that is so extreme (e.g., horrendous betrayal from a loved one, the suicide of someone, etc.) that the body, heart, and mind struggle to handle the intense emotions that come with such a shocking experience.
As a result, the body-mind system tends to enter a freeze state, which is characterized by feelings of numbness, dissociation from reality, and the sudden or eventual appearance of intense symptoms like chronic anxiety, depression, addictions, PTSD, or other life-disrupting patterns.
What's Your Spiritual Archetype?
An Archetype is an energetic symbol of our Souls. Take this free spiritual archetypes test and get your detailed report! Are you the Alchemist, Sage ...
Emotional trauma can also happen due to ongoing situations, such as being bullied, being trapped in an environment (such as in childhood) in which your sense of self-worth was destroyed or diminished, being repeatedly betrayed, treated cruelly, judged negatively, made fun of, and so on.
Experiencing abandonment trauma as a child is also a widespread form of emotional trauma.
Four Components of Trauma

Trauma is not what happens to us. But what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.
— Peter A Levine, PhD
According to psychotherapist and pioneer of Somatic Experiencing®, Peter Levine, there are four aspects of trauma that will be present, in some way, in all traumatized people:
- Hyperarousal (i.e., being overly alert and on guard)
- Constriction (i.e., tense body)
- Dissociation (i.e., disconnection from the here and now)
- Freezing (immobility), associated with the feeling of helplessness
I’ll be using these four components of trauma as a basis for the emotional trauma test below.
Emotional Trauma, Inner Work, and Spiritual Wellbeing

Discovering our level of emotional trauma is a crucial part of inner work, which is:
… the psychological and spiritual practice of diving deep into your inner self for the purposes of self-exploration, self-understanding, healing, and spiritual transformation.
When we work to heal, resolve, or integrate the emotional trauma we carry, a tremendous amount of inner energy is freed up, which allows us to grow and blossom in unimaginably beautiful and profound ways.
Healing emotional trauma, therefore, is a vital part of our awakening journeys of Soul Work as lone wolves and seekers of our true path in life.
We often embark on this healing quest in stages five and six of the spiritual wanderer’s journey.
Emotional Trauma Test

Healing doesn’t mean the pain never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.
– K. Salmansohn
The free emotional trauma test below isn’t meant to ‘diagnose’ you in any way. It’s simply a tool you can use to shed more light on your inner landscape.
Please use this test simply as a doorway to introspection and further action, not as a set-in-stone analysis of your character or what happened in your life.
Whatever result you get is not the absolute truth, and if you feel like it’s wrong, that is totally fine, because it might be!
Trust in your gut and your inner knowing above all else – this test only attempts (in an imperfect way) to provide you with some potential insight and healing pathways.
If, at any point, you feel uncomfortable during the process of taking this test, please step away, seek out support, grounding, and centeredness immediately. Only return to this test when you feel safe inside.
What did you get?
If you’re comfortable, I welcome you to share your results in the comments. You never know who might feel comforted by your words or presence.
Need more help? See my popular Self-Love Journal, Inner Child Work, and Healing the Mother Wound Journals if you’d like some compassionate support for working through these wounds.



After taking the emotional trauma test, I have learned that I have a low level of emotional trauma. I am holding on to some hurt but I am not traumatized by it. This is actually reassuring because it lets me know that all the work I have been doing is finally paying off and I am now moving towards being emotionally healthy. It has taken me 5 years of continuous work and dedication to get to this point of healing but it has been so worth it!
I found the test questionnaire answers ok, but a little limiting in choices.
Often, emotional states have various shades of grey, which fluctuate if someone fails to see and appreciate you, and can only see negative perspectives within you. As if you’re the adversary rather than the one giving constructive comments and attempting to give assistance.
I was trying to be kind to myself and let some of the questions think everything was ok. However, it saw through me. I got high levels. I have tools to help me, I just need to make the time to take care of myself first. It’s really hard when you grew up learning that others must come first. I’m truly grateful for this community.
Hi Lonerwolf community.
I took the quiz twice.
The first was based the time I was with my ex-husband, who had his own mental health challenges and is trauma affected, so there was DV and mental/emotional abuse in the relationship. My result was Medium level of trauma. I have it better than some, but I can still acknowledge I was being hurt.
Since our divorce 4 years ago, I have worked REALLY hard to heal myself, through many of the avenues of healing suggested by Aletheia -they absolutely work- met an amazing new partner; we are now engaged!
The second result was based upon my answers of how I felt in relation to (girl) friends I’ve had in the past. I got Low level trauma. I expected this result, I realise I wasn’t traumatised, but deeply hurt. Their betrayal and meanness informed how I related to/made friends/didn’t make friends with girls through my childhood and adult life. I now realise I used disassociation when dwelling on those past hurts, until the point I started working on healing it.
I can say that forgiving people for whatever has happened is really important in the process. Just saying I forgive you, I forgive you over and over until answers come, crying tears of release and peace begins.
Also working on those avenues of healing, contributed to resolving these hurts too.
The quote in the article, “Healing doesn’t mean the pain never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives. “– K. Salmansohn, is so fitting and beautiful.
I hope everyone here in the comments can get to that one day. Peace and love, Melissa
Thank you so much for sharing this, Melissa. I’m so glad to hear that the avenues of healing I’ve suggested in the past have helped you heal 💜 Appreciate you commenting here and letting me know!