It all added up. Sensitivity to loud sounds, harsh light, emotional climates, and over-stimulating situations? I’d just discovered something amazing: I’m a highly sensitive person.
For years, since childhood, I had always believed there was something terribly weird, different, strange, or broken about me.
New situations easily overwhelmed me. Strangers set me on edge. Loud sounds made me jump out of my skin. And even the slightest amount of coffee or alcohol sent me into a tailspin.
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If you can relate to this level of sensitivity, you might be a highly sensitive person.
The life-changing reality of this label is that it helps you to accept that (1) you’re not crazy, (2) there’s nothing wrong with you, and (3) you’re not alone.
Table of contents
What is a Highly Sensitive Person?
Highly sensitive people (HSPs) are individuals who are genetically predisposed to higher levels of mental, emotional, and physical sensitivity. It is speculated that around 15-20% of our population is wired differently and therefore experiences life in a much more intense way than the average person. HSPs differ from neurotypical individuals in that they are more deeply impacted by sights, sounds, smells, tastes tactile sensations, and emotions.
19 Signs You’re a Highly Sensitive Person
Mother of the discovery, Elaine Aron, has been researching the highly sensitive person for over 20 years now. As such, she has a finely tuned list of traits and behavioral quirks that define the highly sensitive person. I’ve refined some of these traits below. See how many you can relate to:
- I’m aware of subtleties and nuances in different environments, e.g., a tap dripping too loudly, a light bulb burning too brightly, etc.
- I’m easily overwhelmed by the senses. Loud noises, strong smells, tastes, and light affect me negatively, e.g., the pounding music of nightclubs, loud busy freeways, and strong perfumes.
- I need to withdraw from busy days and take a break, or a nap, by myself.
- I’m overly sensitive to pain, e.g. needles, sports injuries, insect stings, etc.
- I become spooked and startled easily.
- I like to take my time, and not overload myself with too many activities as it drains and overwhelms me.
- I prefer to avoid violent TV shows and movies.
- I find it hard to adapt to changes in my life.
- I tend to ruminate and process information deeply.
- I’m empathic. I’m aware of the way people feel around me, and when any slight change occurs in them.
- Emotional environments tend to affect me deeply.
- I’m often perceived as being introverted or shy.
- I’m profoundly moved by nature, the arts or music.
- I tend to be more philosophically and spiritually-orientated.
- I feel unusually strong emotions.
- I avoid and deeply dislike confrontation of any kind.
- I prefer to not be observed when fulfilling tasks: it unsettles me.
- I tend to avoid situations that are too intense or chaotic.
- I seem to process the world at a very deep level.
How many of these qualities did you say “yes” to? I’d love to hear in the comments!
HSPs, Emotional Intensity, and Giftedness
Perhaps one of the defining qualities of being an HSP is how emotionally intense we are.
We feel everything in an intense, passionate, and sometimes devastating way. This intensity often leads us to become artists, visionary leaders, innovators, mentors, healers, and therapists.
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But this is a bittersweet trait we share because while it helps us to live life with passion and intensity, it can also isolate us. We may be misunderstood, criticized, underpaid, undervalued, taken for granted, alienated, and generally perceived as being “too much.” We may be classified as neurotic, melodramatic, thin-skinned, or generally finicky – and mistreated because of it.
Yet, despite the many challenges we face, our intensity and giftedness as highly sensitive people also opens the doorway to potentially transcendent and cosmic adventures. For example, many people who are highly sensitive undergo spiritual awakenings and various mystical experiences. Because we are naturally sensitive and more in-tune with the undercurrents of life, we often find ourselves having paradigm-shifting insights about the nature of reality.
In fact, many highly sensitive people are also naturally gifted empaths and old souls who gravitate toward various spiritual pursuits that explore the meaning of life and how to experience spiritual Oneness.
Regardless of whether you’re spiritually-inclined or not, you will have the insatiable need to live authentically and find your true purpose.
Common Myths About the Highly Sensitive Person
As with any neuroatypical group, HSPs deal with their fair share of misguided judgments. Here are the three most common misconceptions about HSPs:
Myth #1: HSPs are introverts
HSPs and introverts both reflect deeply and have rich inner worlds – but not all HSPs are introverted, and vice versa. In fact, as Aron points out, 30% of the total number of highly sensitive people are actually extroverted. It’s a smaller number, but it still shows that introversion does not always equate to being highly sensitive.
Myth #2: Being an HSP is just another word for being shy
Just like introverts, highly sensitive people are often mislabeled as being shy. Although the two share things in common – such as sensitivity to overwhelming social situations – they are not the same thing. While shyness is learned, being a highly sensitive person is not.
Myth #3: “HSP” is a mental disorder
For some, it can be easy to mistake the highly sensitive person as a sufferer of some strange mental condition. Although some HSPs possess separate mental illnesses, being sensitive does not automatically make someone mentally ill. Instead, sensitivity is a trait, a gift even, that some people possess and others don’t. Besides, what pathological mental disorder allows the sufferer to be endowed with such genuine joys as being more empathic, spiritually-orientated, and appreciating the details of life more fully?
How to Survive as an HSP
Due to their sensitive nature, highly sensitive people are prone to idealism and perfectionism. This often stems from deriving our self-worth from the opinion of others, and not valuing ourselves enough. (And the self-worth issues we often develop are due to not being appreciated or understood throughout life.)
Also, being a highly sensitive person can hit you hard if you’re a male. Being a thick-skinned logician is favored as the masculine ideal in the Western world, rather than the sensitive, emotional poet. But whatever difficulties we face as highly sensitive people can be overcome with the ability to reframe the negative into the positive, and actively work to better our environments. Here are some tips:
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1. Learn to value yourself
I learned this the hard way. When we place too much importance on what people say and think about us, we create immense psychological tension and anxiety. We are living to satisfy the thousands of different perspectives of who we “should” be, rather than embracing what we are. In essence, we are creating the exact thing we try to avoid that is detrimental to us: too much internal pressure and chaos. So be nice to yourself. Learn to value your qualities and gifts. Realize that you’re the one and only master over yourself, and no one can have power over you unless you let them.
2. Don’t take things personally
This tip, mentioned by Don Miguel Ruiz in his well-known book The Four Agreements, is essential for mental and emotional happiness.
The highly sensitive person is prone to get hurt easily by other people and their words. Consequently, we frequently find ourselves on-edge in social situations, trying to finely tune our behavior to avoid conflict.
When we take the insults and the moods of other people personally, we blame ourselves. We think that somehow we’re responsible, even deserve their abuse, but we’re not and we don’t.
To overcome the dilemma of taking things personally, try looking beyond your feelings. Use your ability to analyze instead and think to yourself, “I wonder what type of pain this person is suffering to treat me that way?” For example, perhaps they had a really bad day? Perhaps they’re going through a divorce? Perhaps they got triggered? Perhaps they had bad sleep?
When we ask these “why?” questions, we go beyond the initial sting of being mistreated and realize that ultimately, how people treat us is a reflection of them, not us. As Don Miguel Ruiz says, “nothing other people do is because of you.“
3. Embrace solitude
Solitude is not loneliness, instead, it is a chosen form of being alone, rather than an imposed one. When we choose solitude and take mini-retreats from our stimulating days, we give ourselves the gift of re-cooperation. As highly sensitive people, we need to be in-tune with our minds and bodies and the warning signs of burnout, such as irritability and physical exhaustion. So take a bit of alone time to renew yourself.
4. Investigate, identify, and act upon your sensitivity triggers
Wouldn’t life be a whole lot easier if we managed to resourcefully alter or intelligently negotiate our way around the stresses and stimulations that come our way? Of course, we can’t plan everything, but for the stresses currently existing in our lives, we can work to plan ahead and alleviate the incoming tension.
As an HSP, I struggled with this, stoically putting up with the extreme anxiety I felt at work until I realized that it was weakening my health. No, I didn’t do something drastic like quit my job, but I did decide to plan ahead and practice self-hypnosis every time I had to go to work, to prepare myself for the day. I still do.
As an HSP, you may be suffering from the same problem I did: a self-sacrificial acceptance of your less-than-healthy response to a situation in life. If you find yourself daily frazzled, try identifying what makes you so stressed out and think about what you can do to actively make your life easier to live. Life wasn’t meant to be bared with gritted teeth.
5 Ways to Stop Emotional Snowballing as a Highly Sensitive Person
Your heart pounds, you begin to tremble, your chest constricts, pain shoots through your core, your mind blurs … and all this, simply as a response to a threat, insult or even a simple tone of voice.
Highly sensitive people frequently live life on the brink of emotional snowballing, a term I use to describe a situation where emotions get out of control and quickly become out of proportion to the situation at hand.
Just think of a small snowball rolling down a very steep hill – it becomes larger and larger and rolls faster and faster very quickly. For many highly sensitive people, this emotional turbulence is a fact of life.
But why? As Elaine Aron pointed out in her book The Highly Sensitive Person, “most of us are deeply affected by other people’s moods and emotions.” In fact, you could say that most highly sensitive people are simply excellent social chameleons to the emotional landscapes around them.
This can be good news if everything is peachy bliss, but many times, highly sensitive people find themselves absorbing the poisonous negativity around them. You could say that the highly sensitive person’s problem is taking things too personally. But it’s much more than that. The highly sensitive person is deeply affected by any highly stimulating situation, whether physical, mental and emotional.
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In a sense, you could say they feel everything at a more extreme level than the non-HSP person. While this can make life a lot more profound for highly sensitive people, it can also make interpersonal relations very bitter indeed.
Below you will find four techniques I have found useful in preventing emotional snowballing. I’m a highly sensitive person myself and hope these will help quell the tidal waves of emotion when they roll your way:
1. Seek out a quiet, empty spot to cool down
As I mentioned before, highly sensitive people suffer a lot at the hands of hyper-arousing and stimulating situations. The best thing to do when you become aware of the symptoms of emotional stress is to remove yourself from the situation. Excuse yourself, or simply walk away from the person or people that are causing you harm and find a deserted, empty place.
I say deserted and empty because the least stimulating, the better. You need to make time to re-cooperate and soften the violent sensations inside of you. I find that the bathroom is usually the best place to go, especially when the lights are out and everything is muted and dim.
2. Focus on something that made you happy today
If nothing made you happy today, try the past week, or you could think about the best thing that ever happened to you. I find that focusing on something positive helps break the cycle of negative emotions that begin to quickly increase inside. It also helps to remind you that life wasn’t always as painful as it seems in the present moment, and helps give you perspective.
If you have had a bad run-in with a specific person in particular, you can also try thinking of the last time you enjoyed being in their company. Did they make you laugh, did you share something nice together, were you excited to talk to them? This works especially well with family members and close friends who have upset you.
It’s good to remember that everyone has bad days once in a while, and they aren’t necessarily angry at you – in fact, usually, they aren’t. They are simply reacting to their own bad feelings and taking it out on you. Once again, this technique of focusing on a past positive experience works well after you’ve sought out a quiet and empty spot to re-cooperate.
3. Listen to, or watch something upbeat
The biggest mistake that I made as a highly sensitive person was to listen to melancholic, dark music when I felt emotionally strained. Although it’s nice to feel as though others can relate to the way you feel through their music, this is not always a healthy way to deal with emotional turmoil.
If you’re primarily an auditory learner like me, listening to happy music is one of the best ways to stop emotional snowballing. I know it’s cliche, but try listening to “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bob McFerrin for starters! (It’s bound to make you smile!) If you’re primarily a visual learner however, the next best alternative is to watch a comedic movie that will allow you to relax and break out of the negative cycles of emotion. Have a list of comedy movies at hand, just so you don’t lose time frantically scavenging for one. (By the way, if you want to find out what kind of learner you are, take our Visual, Auditory, or Kinesthetic test.)
4. Ground and orient yourself to your surroundings
When you feel like you’re spiraling out of control (i.e., feeling overwhelmed, inundated, panicky, grief-stricken) find something beautiful, calming, or pleasant in your environment to focus on. This technique is often used in somatic psychotherapy for trauma sufferers and works wonders with highly sensitive people.
For example, you may choose to focus on a patch of sunlight on the ground, a vase of flowers in the distance, a child running and laughing, the calming color of the wallpaper, or anything else that brings you a burst of delight.
Orienting to something safe and pleasant in your environment is a powerful grounding technique that you can use anytime, anywhere.
5. Remember that this too will pass
This philosophic approach to preventing emotional snowballing for the highly sensitive person is a powerful way to transcend your emotional strife and look at life with a birds-eye perspective.
Think of everything good and bad that has ever happened to you. All of it has passed by and has been replaced with something different: the good with the bad, and the bad with the good.
Life is a constant flux; a wax and wane of good and bad. If everything was always good, we would find life boring and we’d take it for granted. In this way, the bad moments in our lives can even be seen as necessary and beneficial – they provide a contrast for the good so we can appreciate it even more fully.
So just remember: when you are close to an emotional snowball, remember that this too will pass. Like everything in your past, it will perish and be replaced with something else.
Are you a highly sensitive person? Do you have anything to add to this article? If so, please do below.
Also, you may like to take our Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Test.
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I have non-verbal learning disorder, the autistic spectrum disorder Asperger syndrome, and people whom I have only met online claim I am anything from a Lightworker to an Empath and Earth Angel and goodness knows what else. I am constantly on the brink, and things like for example a full moon is enough to throw me off for days. I got a text from my mother today saying that “I don’t know what’s wrong with you these days, my daughter is not nice to be around.” I cover my hairline and top of my head when in public and around people to avoid impressions, but how can I best stop my spiritual sensitivity? Pardon the rough word, but I hate the phrase “Sensitivity is a gift from God”. It’s like reading how menopausal women claim the period is sacred and wonderful. (girls with Asperger + the monthly cycle is a disaster.)
There could be many explanations for your sensitivity Livnam. In the end it is really up to you and what makes the most logical and/or intuitive sense. You could go for a down-to-earth explanation such as your sensitivity is due to emotional/chemical imbalances that need to be harmonized somehow. Or you could go with a more mystical explanation such as you are an empath, indigo child, or other concepts.
Personally, I think that being a highly sensitive person is a reasonable explanation, particularly with physical sensitivity both towards yourself (and say, what you feel inside when you go through menstruation), and the environment, e.g. loud noise, temperature, smells, etc.
Rather than figuring out what to define yourself as, I think it would be more constructive to find ways of balancing your emotions and thoughts — perhaps with medicinal herbs, or different types of practices (tai chi, qigong, meditation, PMR).
Great article. Thank you. I too can relate. Rejected by my npd mother, (I’m the scapegoat), told I’m too shy and have no confidence, too sensitive and ‘need to be harder to get on in life’ etc. I am an empath and very sensitive to crowded spaces, bad or harsh energy/vibes, smells and loud noises. My ex loved violent and horror movies which I couldn’t bear. I love my solitariness (not sure if this is a word!?). I found reading, learning, meditation, hypnotherapy and Reiki helped. What I find really difficult is being watched by security guards when shopping – this heightens my anxiety and I usually have to leave because it feels so horrible to be judged so harshly.
I’ve suffered from those feelings as well Kelly. I discovered that the fear of being watched and judged is usually (for me at least) source from the need to control everything — including what other people think of you. This is extreme need for control is sourced from a lack of trust, faith and acceptance of oneself. And having a npd mother, that is understandable. Have you tried active affirmations during the day? These might change your life. :)
hi! i’m just another HSP. Great article by the way :) I’ve been fighting my whole life to overcome this trait, but finally i’m on my way to accept it, because i know that i’m not alone. My loved one’s, especially my mom and my friends are kind of accusing me of being too sensitive. I’m sick and tired of people judging me, especially myself. Sometimes i’m the worst critic. I have bad habit, you know, every time i come across with a conflict, i leave the room and start to cry. I’m not responsible enough to face my problems. Maybe because i’m not strong enough to accept my weaknesses or maybe because i’m short-tempered and sometimes i say things that i regret afterwards. The worst thing though is that, when i’m trying to explain this habit, they don’t understand me, and they start a monologue about me being oversensitive, that i cry easily, that i will need a shrink if i keep on going with this, or that i should be stronger. The last part is the one that burns me! They just don’t realize that i am strong,i am, but in my own way. Trust me, i am a believer, a dreamer and an optimist and i believe in my abilities. I live in country with ungrateful people, always complaining about money. I grew up in a family that had financial problems, and everywhere i go including my relatives and the rest of the world, the only thing that i hear is “money”, “i’m tired”, “he’s a jerk”. I just can’t live in a world with pessimists and ungrateful, negative people. From a young age i saw my mom suffer every single day. She’s a role model for me, because she’s been through a lot but she is becoming a very strong woman even if she’s sensitive. That’s why i wanna study abroad. i was born to explore life, and i won’t reach my purpose if i’m stuck in here. what do you think? (by the way, sorry for my English, it is not my native language :) )
It’s great that you are trying to accept and embrace the person you are. We are all imperfect and we all have our great gifts and terrible flaws — you included. Like me you might be a bit of a perfectionist who expects yourself to be perfect at everything. You might kick yourself when you are down. But the beautiful thing is that you are becoming aware of your flaws (which are natural to have).
With age and experience you will become externally hardier. But don’t let what others say about who you are bring you down. They are not you, they don’t experience life through your eyes, so only you really know how truly strong you are. :)
You’re right. I think it is great how a stranger can totally understand you. I just told you what bothers me, and you told me what i wanted to hear, an honest answer, from someone who understands me, even though you are miles away and we never met :) Life it’s just a miracle. Keep on spreading inspiration to those around you, i really admire what you guys are doing, all of you out there who are trying to make us feel good about ourselves, without judging us. Thank you, really ;)
It’s an absolute pleasure Anonymous! ;)
Greetings all from Australia.
I’ve only just discovered this website and there are so many interesting articles. I find I can relate to so much on this page and others that its somewhat scary in a way.
Currently 28, and I wish I’d known more about this before now. Would have saved me a whole lot of mental anguish, especially over the past 10 years as I’ve been on and off fighting depression.
One thing I’ve really noticed even before reading this are my light and sound sensativities, which are a real issue for me at times. I still find it really hard to remain in heavily populated areas for any length of time. Currently back living at my parents house out in a semi rural area where it’s mostly nice and quiet. I did move out for several years, but even the less busy outer city suburbs were too noisy and constantly draining. Even now I still do my best to avoid the larger cities unless I really absolutely have to go there for something.
Also explains why my first job at a Mcdonalds was so terribly draining. You’re subjected to constant loud noise everywhere, every machine had its own little Buzzer/alarm to alert you when the machine was activated and when the food was cooked, another buzzer for each new order through the system. Couldn’t go 15 seconds without something going off, Usually had to shout to have yourself heard over it too, which just added to the noise. I put up with that all day for 8-10 hours straight, 4-5 days a week for 4 years. It’s no wonder now that I was almost driven insane by the time I finally quit.
Anyhow, look forward to reading more articles on this site and beginning the healing process.
– Dan
Wow … MCDONALDS … the HSP’s nightmare. You poor thing. Although, thankfully now you’ve left. My first job was in a convenience/discount store, and although it wasn’t as noisy, there were constant bombardments of people, smells, sensations … isn’t it wonderful that we can understand each other on an empathetic level?
I hope you find many other gems here to help you on your journey!
I am enjoying this site very much already and I’m finding a lot of articles to be very helpful indeed. I’m starting to both understand and come to terms with a number of problems I’ve had over the years.
So I offer a great big thank you to both youself and Sol. Keep up the good work.
That means a lot to the two of us, thank you Dan!
Thank you for the articles you have written about HSP. I came online, because I just had a horrible morning. I made a mistake at work last night and someone wrote a negative comment on yelp about it. My boss texted me, I apologized, and he said “no worries, let’s handle this situation differently next time”. So I wasn’t really in trouble, but it didn’t matter though. I cried and cried and cried this morning!! It made me so upset that I had made this mistake, and it just feels so scary that if something trivial like this can make me so upset, what will happen when I make huge mistakes or experience real pain?? It is so exhausting and it can feel so defeating. Situations like this happen to me all the time, and I guess I am realizing, this happens to other people too? These strong emotions are normal for me, and others too? I am not defective because I am SO SENSITIVE??
Katherine … I really feel where you’re coming from. In the past I experienced this REALLY badly, and every little thing seemed to set me off. It’s scary walking around in life realizing that anything can tip you over the edge – and that thought was what inspired me to finally explore myself and understand WHY I was over-reacting to everything. I discovered that the primary source of my problem was low self-esteem. I didn’t have faith or confidence in myself, and I found it hard to like the person I was … and so when that was reflected in any way in other people and their behavior towards me … I felt absolutely shattered. HSP’s are definitely more sensitive to their emotions than other people, but it is not at all impossible to regain that inner strength and resilience. I really recommend that you work on developing self-love. Start with daily affirmations, and learn to consciously reprogram your inner talk. I find something so simple as: “It’s OK honey, you’re going well, you can do this” said by me, TO me, helps me get through these difficult times. The more self-respect you develop, the less you will be affected by what other people say and do.
I hope this helps!
And no, you are not defective for being so sensitive. You can use this sensitivity to tune into what you need from yourself (as mentioned above). Sensitivity can work for us, or work against us – it is simply a matter of what we choose.
Thank you so much! Yes, that makes sense about the low self esteem issue. I have been trying very hard to work on that and it is such a long process. I read many self improvement books, etc., but it certainly takes a while to reprogram what you have told yourself for years. It is so comforting to know you finally got through it. Hopefully I will too.
With enough fierce persistence you will Katherine! ;)
As an HSI myself, I was joyfully nodding my head as I read through the list. I already use or have used at least half of the suggestions on this list and it does make life in a predominantly extroverted world much more comfortable. I don’t go anywhere without my sleep mask or earplugs (I use these instead of headphones and they have worked well so far).
I have 2 suggestions for better sleep for those that struggle with that like I have for years. Suggestion 1. Try a White Noise sound to help fall asleep. In the summer, a fan on high works for me and in winter a small space heater helps. For times in between when you don’t need the extra cool or heat, I think a white noise machine (such as is used for babies) would be good. I haven’t tried this yet but I plan too soon.
Suggestion 2. Drinking a Green Smoothie everyday or even every other day is a tremendous help for sleeping. I have a lot of trouble falling asleep at night, I wake up between 1-3 times a night and then it takes me a long time to fall back asleep…all of which contributes for a very challenging and less-than-optimal next day.
However when I started making my own Green Smoothies at home last year, I immediately began to sleep better the first night and by day three or four I began to feel like I truly “slept like a baby”. I would still have a bad night here and there but overall improvement was 90-95%. Besides helping with sleep, these smoothies also provide great nutrition many of us are lacking these days.
Simple Green Smoothie recipe template: 1-2 Cups Water + 1 High Soluble Fiber Fruit + 1 Other Fruit/Vegetable + 1 Cup Greens + 1-2 Cups Ice.
*Alternate between the 5 Greens families every 3-4 days. If 1 cup is too much, start smaller and work your way up to as much as you like.
*Adjust the amounts of water and ice according to your texture and thickness preferences.
*Best if you let the fruits be your sugar…if you need more sweet, try a very small amount of stevia (which won’t affect your blood sugar sugar levels like other sweeteners).
*Use a high-quality blender…usually a high cost, but will last years and it is worth the mind-body health investment.
*Make the smoothie delicious so you will want it everyday and it won’t be a chore for you.
Hope this will be a help to someone out there :-)
Green smoothies … great recommendation Holly! Thank you :)
The Nutribullet works great for the smoothies too. Like a blender, you get all the fiber, and it can handle roots like carrots and beets too.
Nutribullet is on the more affordable end of the spectrum. It can’t handle ice though (be warned!).
Thankyou luna,
I have been instinctively following those suggestions before reading this, it has really helped to remove myself from an overstimulating environment and take time to gain perspective, i have also found that if i have to stay in uncomfortable place i take a deep breath and watch my thoughts and decide to choose positive thoughts and think: how can i handle this citation better, if i listen to my intuition i find peaceful solutions, eg i take steps to reduce noise turning radio off or explaining to others im overwhelmed or have a headache.
Listening to your intuition is an excellent strategy for better peace of mind Al. In fact, I’d say that WITHOUT listening to it, we are often stranded because we do not have that deep connection to our mind and bodies. Thank you for the ideas!
I am an introvert, INFP, and also really strongly relate to this article and many others, i have just had a realisation lately about why i have been feeling stressed and increasingly anxious over the years it has been getting worse, I am highly sensitive to surroundings and other people, this article is really helpful to understand why and not just be labled as having a disorder as many online articles would suggest, it is enlightening to see peoples differences as just that, too often today labels are used for peoples unique identitys or groups.
Thankyou again for another brilliant article, you both write such profound and enlightening truths.
It is sad how frequently negative labels are used for these feelings – this is one main reason why I never decided to get a degree in psychology – it taints your way of thinking and perceiving the world.
I’m so happy you could reach closure Al. Thank you for leaving a comment!
I’m an INFP too :3
A friend suggested I might be an HSP but I totally forgot to look it up. Then I chanced upon this post. It does fit me by and large and 2014 has been the year to push me and press all these buttons big time. I work with an extremely extroverted and demanding boss who expects long, long work hours, and I find myself struggling to get out from under the actual overwhelm around me and the subsequent emotional overwhelm the situation has generated. My husband said I should stop being the “victim” and I get this in my head, but it’s a struggle to get out from under the conditioning. It’s hard for me to compartmentalise work and switch off and I find I react from a place of anxiety. It’s eaten into my whole life. Your post has helped me understand myself a little more. I just need to find some practical skills to cope and learn how to break out of the conditioning which has made me feel I’m not good enough. I read that you did not quit but psych yourself up for work. I’m not sure that’s the best or healthiest approach for me. Still searching…
Sometimes it takes quitting your job to gain a new perspective and “Reset” your brain, but not always. It really depends on your personal context, needs, requirements and levels of anxiety. I’ve learnt that taking a big step back from stressful working conditions helps you to see the forest and not just the trees. So you might benefit from taking a few months of rest if possible, and searching for an alternative job. Have you tried self-hypnosis? For me this was one of the best strategies I used to balance myself: https://lonerwolf.com/self-hypnosis/ You may also like to look into NLP.
Hello Luna,
thankyou for the article.
Just 2 hours ago, ive come across the term HSP and realised that I am not the only one experiencing this.
I want to know if all the HSPs manifest their reaction in a similar manner.
For instance on many occasions when i am confronted, my lips start to tremble, as if i am just about to cry. Is that what other HSP’s experience as well or is it different for every individual?
The reactions of HSP’s differ with each person – so some would share your reaction, and others won’t. I tend to get light-headed and extremely fatigued, and my eyes often glaze over when I’m in overwhelming situations (which is quite often!)
But I hope this article could shed some more light on HSP’s. I’ve also written other articles on the topic in the past: https://lonerwolf.com/highly-sensitive-person-test/ (test) https://lonerwolf.com/highly-sensitive-person-hsp/ (original article) https://lonerwolf.com/highly-sensitive-person-traveling/ (travelling for highly sensitive’s).