Going through a spiritual awakening is one of the most confusing, lonely, alienating, but also supremely beautiful experiences in life.
Put simply, spiritual awakenings mark the beginning of your initiation on the spiritual path. Without experiencing a spiritual awakening, we go throughout life pursuing the emptiness of money, fame, power, and respect in an attempt to find “happiness.”
The unsettling and equally beautiful thing about spiritual awakenings is that they occur at the least expected times. There is no way you can plan for them. They lurch into your life and shake everything up like tornadoes. But the hidden gift buried deep within them is that they occur at the precise time that you need them the most.
The Spiritual Awakening Process eBook:
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Spiritual awakenings are the soul’s cry for freedom.
Listen to its call and your life will be transformed into something meaningful and significant.
Refuse its call and your life will be like a graveyard.
If you have experienced a spiritual awakening, you have come to see through the lies and illusions of this world. Deep in your soul, you realize that nothing external has ever, and can ever, bring you true happiness or fulfillment. This profound realization leaves you craving for something richer, more fulfilling, and something that will make you feel whole once again.
If you’re looking for answers, if you’re thirsting for a direction in life, this page will share with you everything you need to know. On this page, you will find all the possible resources you need for the beginning of your journey including what spiritual awakening is, common spiritual awakening symptoms, and much more.
If you feel this page may help a friend or family member close to you, please share it and pass along this vital information.
Table of Contents
- What is a Spiritual Awakening?
- My Experience With the Spiritual Awakening Process
- Why Do Spiritual Awakenings Happen?
- What Triggers the Spiritual Awakening Process?
- The Dark Night of the Soul
- 7 Spiritual Awakening Stages
- 23 Spiritual Awakening Signs and Symptoms
- Physical Spiritual Awakening Symptoms
- Spiritual Awakening and Inner Work
- Spiritual Awakening Book
- Spiritual Awakening Resources
What is a Spiritual Awakening?
When we undergo a spiritual awakening, we literally “wake up” to life. We begin to question our old beliefs, habits, and social conditioning, and see that there is much more to life than what we have been taught.
It is common to ask questions such as, “Why am I here?” “What is the purpose of my life?” “What happens after death?” “Why do good people suffer?” and other questions that examine the fundamental nature of life during your awakening. Spiritual awakenings stir the deepest and most significant questions within us that we have been putting off asking or have been too scared to touch.
If you’ve experienced a spiritual awakening, you might crave to find the meaning of your life and whether there is a “higher state” of being. Searching for God, or for the Divine, is a common desire during this experience.
My Experience With the Spiritual Awakening Process
I experienced the beginnings of my spiritual awakening about 6 months before I met my partner (Mateo). At that time, I was deeply entrenched in the dogmas and cultish teachings of the fundamentalist Christian church I was born into.
Beginning to doubt, question, and sense that there was more to life than what my indoctrination declared, I felt lost and deeply alone. I had no one outside of the church that I felt comfortable talking to about my feelings. I had no true friends to confide in – and my family didn’t understand – or rather, didn’t want to. As a result, I felt so alienated and suffocated with loneliness that I developed depression, health issues, and chronic anxiety, the latter lasting for many years.
During this harrowing awakening process, I carried within me the unshakable sensation that I was falling endlessly through a void of darkness. This Dark Night of the Soul taught me so much about my life purpose, even though it made me experience unimaginable pain.
Ultimately, I had no fucking idea what was happening to me while I was going through my spiritual awakening and Dark night. I thought that I was going crazy or was going to burn in hell forever for questioning everything I’d been taught. I would have loved to read an article like this describing all the spiritual awakening symptoms and their significance. So I’m honored to be able to present them to you now. I hope, if anything, that they can validate what you’re going through.
Why Do Spiritual Awakenings Happen?
So, why do spiritual awakenings happen in the first place?
Spiritual awakenings happen as a natural product of your Soul evolving, expanding, and maturing. Just as everything in life grows, so too does our connection with our Souls.
The more you connect to your Soul (whether accidentally or intentionally), the more you experience transformation. The more you come to embody your Soul, the more you taste true and lasting joy, peace, fulfillment, freedom, and love.
While the spiritual awakening process can feel painful and disturbing at first, it ultimately helps you to live a more meaningful life. The sensation that your life doesn’t make sense anymore is the product of having all of your former beliefs, desires, and paradigms challenged and often disproven. This is traumatic, but a necessary part of your expansion.
What Triggers the Spiritual Awakening Process?
You might be curious to know what activates spiritual awakenings.
The answer is that innumerable circumstances can trigger this process! There really is no one answer.
Spiritual awakenings can happen at any moment or period in your life. They can be spontaneous, but they can also be triggered by major life changes, illnesses, tragedies, and traumas such as life-threatening illnesses, car accidents, divorces, war, midlife crises, and much more.
Generally speaking, the spiritual awakening process happens in conjunction with an experience known as The Dark Night of the Soul.
The Dark Night of the Soul
If you’re highly sensitive to the suffering of others and are a deep thinker by nature, it is possible that you have gone through, or are currently going through, a Dark Night of the Soul.
The Dark Night of the Soul is a period in life when we feel completely cut off from God or the Divine. The more aware you become of your disconnection from the Divine, the more chances you have of experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul.
Going through a Dark Night of the Soul is profoundly entwined with the process of spiritual awakening. Before seeing the light (i.e. spiritually awakening) we must “walk through the valley of the shadow of death” in order to prepare our minds and hearts for the conscious upgrade.
Just think about the analogy of getting dressed. In order to put on new clothes, you must take off the old ones. That, in a nutshell, is essentially what the Dark Night of the Soul is about. The old must be stripped away in order to make way for the new. This means that the suffering you experience during the Dark Night of the Soul is for a purpose – and that is the destruction of the old (outdated beliefs, identities, habits) to pave way for fresh ways of being.
This life is a cycle of birth and death. As such, going through the Dark Night is not a pretty or manicured experience – at its core, it’s raw, primal, and the most difficult experience known to humanity. Everything is stripped away from you. There is no light, no clarity, and no peace. But please know that it is a stage, and like everything in life, it will naturally fade.
There are ways of speeding up the Dark Night (like doing inner work) which we have explored on this website extensively. So pop over here and get started if you need help. I have gone through a bleak and chaotic Dark Night of the Soul, and let me tell you, inner work is vital. It’s kind of like the difference between letting your old clothes just fall off you (which is a long, unhygienic, and tiresome process) or actively pulling them off and throwing them to the wind yourself.
Signs you might be experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul (along with a spiritual awakening) include the following:
- You feel isolated from everything (others, yourself, life in general)
- You feel abandoned by god/the divine
- Your mood is almost always low and melancholic
- You’re lost and don’t know which direction is right
- You feel despair and horror when observing the world
- You feel a sense of existential dread
- You feel deep tiredness in your bones
- You lack the motivation to keep doing what you used to
- You’ve lost interested in most things
- You keep pondering the deep questions of life (e.g. “what is the purpose?”)
- You feel like you don’t belong on this planet
This list is not exhaustive, so keep in mind you might be experiencing signs that aren’t included here. You can take our free Dark Night of the Soul test if you need more clarification.
7 Spiritual Awakening Stages
The spiritual awakening process is complex, multi-layered, and different for everyone. In reality, it cannot be fit into neat categories.
However, with that being said it is helpful to have a kind of “map” to locate where you’re at right now. The following stages are general. They define the overall flow of the spiritual awakening process:
Stage 1 – Unhappiness, despondency, and feeling lost
In this stage, you experience the aforementioned Dark Night of the Soul. This is a time of confusion, disconnection, alienation, depression, and great unhappiness with life. You are searching for something, but you don’t quite know what. There is a great looming emptiness inside of you. This stage either emerges spontaneously or due to a life crisis (e.g. breakup, divorce, death, trauma, illness, major life change).
Stage 2 – Shifting perspectives
You start to perceive reality in a totally different way. In this stage, you start seeing through the lies and delusions propagated by society. You feel unhappy with life, disturbed by the suffering you see and hopeless to the ills of the world. You no longer see life as you once did in your previous state of complacent unawareness.
Stage 3 – Seeking answers and meaning
There must be a point to all this, right? In this stage, you’re asking all the deep questions. You are in search of your life purpose, spiritual destiny, and the meaning of life itself. You will start dabbling in different metaphysical, self-help, and esoteric fields in search for answers and truth.
Stage 4 – Finding answers and experiencing breakthroughs
After a lot of soul searching, you’ll find a few teachers, practices, or belief systems that ease your existential suffering.(Beware: a lot of spiritual bypassing can occur in this stage.) You will feel a sense of expansion as old patterns dissolve and your true self (soul) begins to emerge. You may have a number of mystical experiences or brief moments of satori (enlightenment) that give you a glimpse into the ultimate nature of reality. This is a time of joy, hope, connection, and awe.
Stage 5 – Disillusionment and feeling lost again
Life is about movement. With the spiritual awakening process, there is always an ebb and a flow. In this stage, you become bored and tired of your spiritual teachers or practices. You may become disillusioned by the faux spiritual BS out there and crave for something deeper. You may have even experienced long periods of connection with the Divine, only to become separated again (this is normal). Understandably, you’ll feel disturbed and deeply upset by this experience. Additionally, while you may have experienced many mental/emotional/spiritual breakthroughs, they might feel superficial. You crave for authenticity and for deep spirituality that permeates your life and transforms every part of you. The unhappiness and stagnation you feel will motivate you to go in search for more.
Stage 6 – Deeper inner work
In this stage, you’re not interested in dabbling in feel-good spiritual philosophies or surface practices anymore. The abiding pain you feel inside motivates you to do deep inner work. You may become a serious student of meditation, mindfulness, ritual, inner child work, shadow work, body work or various other transpersonal philosophies.
Stage 7 – Integration, expansion, joy
Integration means taking the spiritual lessons you’ve learned from your inner work and applying them to your daily life. Integration happens both naturally and consciously as a habit in deep spiritual practice. In this stage, you’ll experience the most profound and long-lasting changes deep within. Many people experience prolonged mystical experiences and periods of unity with the Divine in the integration phase. Remember that enlightenment, or full self-realization, is never guaranteed: we can strive for it, but it is ultimately a gift from Life. Nevertheless, profound peace, love, and joy emerge and are felt in this stage. You may feel ready to be a spiritual mentor or role model in your community and pass on your insight to others. Life will become less about you and more about We. Your perspective will expand and you will start seeing things from the big picture. Above all else, you will feel connected, at peace with yourself, and deeply aligned with life.
Note: it is common to move back and forth between these spiritual awakening stages. Remember that this is not a linear process – you cannot just move from A to B to C. This is a complex and messy path, so it’s perfectly fine if it doesn’t look like what I’ve described. Your spiritual awakening process is unique to you. But I do hope this analysis has helped (in some way) you to ‘gain your bearings.’
23 Spiritual Awakening Signs and Symptoms
There are many spiritual awakening symptoms. In fact, spiritual awakening symptoms are not only emotional but also psychological and even physical. Here are twenty-three of the most common symptoms out there. See how many you can identify with:
- You feel as though your life is false
- You craving for meaning and purpose
- You begin asking deep questions
- You realize that a lot of what you’ve been taught is a lie
- You feel completely lost and alone
- You see through the illusions of society
- You see how unhappy most people are
- You want to ‘purge’ your life
- You begin experiencing deep empathy and compassion
- You desire to be alone
- Conversations seem shallow
- You want to quit your job
- You thirst for authenticity and truth
- You become aware of your old negative habits
- You experience anxiety and/or depression
- You become more sensitive
- You want to make the world a better place
- You deeply want to understand who you are
- Your intuition is heightened
- More synchronicity
- You feel more wonder and curiosity
- You start to love unconditionally
- You see that we are all One
I’ll expand on these signs below:
1. You feel as though your life is false
Everything that you have believed, built, and worked towards seems to be false. Your life doesn’t feel as though it’s your own. You no longer feel like yourself – nearly everything you once enjoyed no longer brings you meaning or satisfaction.
2. You craving for meaning and purpose
You deeply desire to find the meaning of your life. You have no idea what your purpose is, but you want to find it desperately. There’s a sense that something is “missing” inside of you (like a part of your soul).
3. You begin asking deep questions
Questions such as “Why am I here?” “What’s the purpose of life?” “What happens after we die?” “Why do people suffer?” arise. You begin thinking more philosophically. Such profound thoughts may greatly disturb you as you don’t know the answers.
4. You realize that a lot of what you’ve been taught is a lie
You start to see how many beliefs, feelings, and values are not actually your own, but other people’s or inherited from your culture.
5. You feel completely lost and alone
Nothing in your life seems to make sense anymore. You feel as though you’re wandering through an endless wilderness. As a vagabond, you feel completely alone and cut off from people. You struggle to relate to those you once felt close to (i.e. your friends, work colleagues, and family members).
6. You see through the illusions of society
Materialism, success, and profit no longer mean anything to you. You start feeling as though you’re a cog in the machine of society.
7. You see how unhappy most people are
You awaken to the unhappiness and suffering of others. You may start to explore activism or read more about the human condition. It is tormenting for you to realize how much pain there is in the world.
8. You want to ‘purge’ your life
You’re sick and tired of feeling stranded, depressed, and hopeless. Suddenly, you feel the need to simplify and declutter your life. This could mean cutting ties with toxic people, reassessing your habits, throwing out old things, relocating to a new job or place to live, or even giving away most of what you own.
9. You begin experiencing deep empathy and compassion
As you start paying more attention to the many hardships faced by humanity and nature alike, you develop more compassion. Your inherent empathy is awakened and you may find it hard to cope with the intensity of your feelings. This is a pivotal point in your inner transformation: you either numb the pain you feel with addictions, or you find healthy ways to accept and express your emotions.
10. You desire to be alone
You crave solitude. Whereas once you may have been extroverted, now you experience the introverted side of your nature. You spend a lot of time introspecting and enjoying the silence. At every cost, you try to reduce social contact. At this point, you may lose touch with many old friends.
11. Conversations seem shallow
When you do talk to people you feel an acute sense of separation. You realize that very few people are comfortable with talking about passion, emotions, meaning and the soul. In conversations, you feel restless and irritated by the small talk. You silently scream, “Can’t anyone wake up and realize what is happening?” Your distaste for frivolous chit-chat draws you more into solitude. You may become a lone wolf or rebellious free spirit.
12. You want to quit your job
Even though you worked for years getting your degree, establishing your career, and climbing the ranks, you feel nothing but emptiness. Your job no longer provides you the sense of fulfillment that you need. You desperately crave for more.
13. You thirst for authenticity and truth
Being true to yourself becomes top priority. You hate faking and putting on the old masks that you used to wear. You want to be completely authentic. Pretense makes you feel sick and disgusted.
14. You become aware of your old negative habits
You are painfully aware of your flaws and destructive habits. Within you arises a strong urge to wipe the slate clean and start over.
15. You experience anxiety and/or depression
You may go through deep bouts of existential depression or persistent anxiety. The shock of plunging into your awakening leaves you feeling unstable. You may be misdiagnosed with a mental illness. Uncertainty and fear follow you around everywhere.
16. You become more sensitive
Everything impacts you more. You feel the energy of others more strongly, the pain of your loved ones more intensely, and the difficulties in life deeper than ever before. At the same time, you feel a gloriously enhanced connection with animals and nature. You start feeling more at home within the natural world (rather than the manmade world).
17. You want to make the world a better place
When all is said and done, you want to leave the world a better place. You start thinking ‘big picture.’ This longing to make a real impact translates to actively helping others or finding a life purpose that aligns with this desire.
18. You deeply want to understand who you are
Endless questions arise about your identity and your life, for example, “Who am I?” “Why was I born?” “What am I here to do?” “What is the purpose of my existence?” As a result, you begin reading many self-help books and spiritual texts. No wonder you ended up here. :-)
19. Your intuition is heightened
Gradually you begin to listen to the still, small voice within. You allow it to guide your decisions. Eventually, you start to uncover your hidden spiritual gifts and talents.
20. More synchronicity
You start becoming conscious of the many signs and omens that life brings to you. Life becomes much more receptive and interactive with you. Serendipity and déjà vu increase. You may even undergo numerous mystical experiences.
21. You feel more wonder and curiosity
The smallest things start to bring you joy and bliss: a falling leaf, a spider’s web, a child’s laughter, a puddle. Life is no longer ignored – it is seen as magical, amazing and beautiful.
22. You start to love unconditionally
As the barriers of the ego breakdown, you begin to love other people without expectations or conditions. You lose interest in drama, conflict, and anything that perpetuates hatred.
23. You see that we are all One
Not only do you intellectually understand that we are all interconnected, but you feel it deeply within your bones. You realize that our thoughts and beliefs influence reality, and that we are all fragments of one great Whole – that is, Spirit. Having fully experienced that we are this Oneness, you find peace at last. Sometimes this stage can take years or even an entire lifetime.
Physical Spiritual Awakening Symptoms
Physical signs obviously differ for everyone. Here are a few symptoms that I have observed within myself and many others who have begun the spiritual awakening process:
- Amplification of sense. For example, your sight, hearing, taste, touch and/or smell becomes intensified. You may even discover that you’re an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person).
- You discover food intolerance’s that you never seemed to have before (or perhaps weren’t paying attention to). E.g. Allergies to wheat, nuts, legumes, soy, spices
- Changed sleeping patterns, i.e. you sleep more or experience more disrupted sleep, often causing insomnia
- Vivid dreams – your dreams become scary, bizarre or intense
- Dizziness – feeling lightheaded as a result of being ungrounded during the day
- Weight change – either gaining or losing a lot of weight
- Changed eating habits – what you once liked eating no longer appeals to you. Also, you may crave to experiment with other foods that you’ve never tried/liked
- Fluctuations in energy – feeling less energized than you used to
- Decreased or increased sex drive
- Decreased immune function (more illness) and eventually increased immune functioning
It is uncommon to experience all of these physical spiritual awakening symptoms at once (one or two is more likely). If you have noticed a rapid change in your health during this period, it might be due to the drastic change in your mind-body-soul connection. If no logical everyday reason can be found (such as prior illness, family stress, injury, relationship meltdown etc.) don’t rule out a more metaphysical explanation.
Spiritual Awakening and Inner Work
Spiritual awakenings mark the beginning of our spiritual paths.
But unlike the popular new age depiction, the spiritual awakening process isn’t all love, light, and roses. This is a shocking, painful, and extremely unsettling period of life.
Often, those who experience spiritual awakenings feel as though their entire lives have been turned upside down and inside out. This experience can lead to self-isolation and problems such as depression and chronic anxiety.
But there is hope.
This whole website is dedicated to helping you navigate through this difficult but intensely meaningful part of your life. Both of us know how harrowing this experience can be as we have gone through this harrowing process ourselves. We want you to know that you are most definitely not alone.
The main way we can help you through this experience is through a path we call inner work. Inner work is the psychological and spiritual practice of diving deep into your inner self for the purposes of self-exploration, self-understanding, healing, and transformation.
We write a lot about how to do inner work on this website and have many resources that can help you through this period of your life. You can find them all below including a book we have written on the topic called The Spiritual Awakening Process.
Both of us have experienced the Dark Night and spiritual awakening journey, and the best advice we can give you in this very moment is to learn to treat yourself with love and compassion. You deserve your own kindness and compassion more than anyone else at this point in your life. And by learning to take care of yourself, you’ll be able to genuinely care for others.
We hope with all our heart that this page helps open a new sacred door in your life and provide some much-needed answers.
With love,
Luna & Sol
Spiritual Awakening Book
Do you feel lost, overwhelmed, and alone in this world? We wrote The Spiritual Awakening Process to help newly-awakened people gain the knowledge and tools necessary for finding peace, hope, clarity, and deep inner healing.
In The Spiritual Awakening Process, we walk you through the beginning stages of reconnecting with the loving and eternally wise place within you known as your Soul. Some of the topics covered include:
- What is happening to you
- Why you’re experiencing a spiritual awakening
- The three internal spiritual worlds to explore
- How to retrieve and integrate any fragmented pieces of your psyche
- What spiritual “traps” you need to be mindful of, and
- How to communicate with your soul
This book is printable (PDF file) and digital (you can read it on your phone, laptop, etc.).
Spiritual Awakening Resources
If you need specific guidance, see if any of the articles or tests below resonate with you.
I got charged 3 times for the spiritual awakening ebook and it says that it cannot be opened and I want my money back please
AWESOME ! ! ! in one word, was introduced to the site by a bosom friend and I have got to admit this is the best site I’ve come across so far in my quest and spiritual awakening. The facts are so accurate it feels as though the author wrote through me. in fact I got so excited that I had to share the link with a small of group equally awakening beings. Thank you so much for finding the strength and time to put this out here. May the Odds forever be in your favor.
Just knowing that I’m not spiritually alone is relieving. I never thought I was but for some time I feel as if everyone thinks I’m crazy because of my actions and or beliefs. Having 4 grandkids, 3 I see often, I try to teach them simplicity, love, growth, survival in this chaotic world. They are on my mind 24/7. I want to teach them what others dont see, or feel. I cry often that I’ve failed my children, I dont want to for my grandchildren. I try to learn something new daily, open to new, I so very much appreciate your readings, and I cant wait to learn more. For both understanding, and teaching. Thank you!
Love Tamara…❤
hello, just found your site. Excellent info. Experienced the awakening about three years ago. My doctor had to explain it to me, I was unaware of this state. For me it was the pain that did it. Besides a new view on life it had a very welcome side effect. For forty six years I was a chronic alcoholic. A hopeless gutter drunk. The desire Completely disappeared. Everyone that knows me is stunned , as am I. Still have a beer in the frig, it means nothing to me. That was just one effect. I am so grateful for just that one blessing. My life has changed much. The ego was exposed and I would equate the experience with a maturing. Thank you so much
You are blessed by the divine…WE are blessed by the divine…You found some small way to describe an indescribable experience. You inspire the most needed feeling throughout this traumatic time – HOPE!…You, WE have been kissed by the universe…Have mercy on our souls
Question. Having woken this year (54) and knowing Im in my final trial/growth season my question is “how the hell do I get help knowing exactly what Im to do” ?
If I am to feel that someone I have spent 1 and a half year of time of togetherness and an unexplained relationship and end up believing she is the one person I want to be with, where she later says she doesn’t feel the same for me is it that I’m crazy or I was delusional? Now I cant forget or I can let her go? What should I do about that? Kindly share your advice, coz I thought I was actually on the path of the awakening when this happened.
Ask her one more time just to be sure then let her go
Spiritual awekning is about feeling the worst before feeling the best, dont worry things will better you just need to hang on and not be corrupted by evil emotions
As someone one has been awakening since they were born, I can yell you this, it will stay with you until you die or ascend. Two, you dont have to leave the activites of life out side of your experience frame because others will need you as much or as little as you need them. Three, you dont need a life partner to get you through this but it may help if your not strong enough. This is what I mean, Brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none. Corinthians 7:29 paul. The Telos or non Telos of this argument is, although, I live in the present I realize now that had I perhaps lived alone, I would have been farther down my path and I wouldn’t feel committed to the future for someone else and they would not have been burdened by my awakening. The only reason I say this is, I realized that I am about 30 to 40 years beyond your present age and as Jimmy Buffett would say made many “changes in latitudes and changes in attitudes. I have been where you are now and I realize now that there is even so much more to learn at my age than what you have written here and in your books. Now, I would go on to do a a critique on your material but I don’t think that is something that needs to be done because you’re shooting from a good standpoint you just need to refine your delivery as you grow. Also, I understand that you were using this as a platform to make a living too so I don’t want to infringe upon your Liberties so to speak. What you’re doing down with something the most people have the compulsion to do later in their lives. That is of course In terms of writing about it and teaching it . I give this type information for free, so others don’t have to struggle as I did.
Have as good one and see you in the next dimension.
Is there a way you can help me know what’s next? Where do I go from here? I’ve been going through the awakening for a long time but have recently just had my breakthrough. I am an empath I do believe. I am unsure what to do from here. Thank you :)
You seem to be knowing. much.
Hope I see YOU in the next dimension .
Thanks a lot once again, I have cast all my cares upon Jesus and am taking his yolk right now… Am a free man but bond by Christ love. Thank you so much Luna.
Yesterday was my 30 the birthday. I don’t even know how but you showed up in my email and bam! My answer to prayer was all there. I keep trying to describe to others what I was experiencing. I document a lot of my moments,but couldn’t quite figure out what was occurring. I’ve been going through all this. It’s amazing but dreadful at the same time. I am grateful for it.
Aletheia Luna, I would say you absolutely ‘nailed it’ on the process – step-by-step. How wonderful it is for people who find you here. I can only say that there is GREAT LOVE available to all of us. And, it is worth tapping into. And, it is worth the journey. Hang in there!
Dear Luna! :)
I’m so happy that I’ve found your page. You know the fact is that I seriously don’t know what I’m experiencing right now. To give you more detail I would like to tell you the shorter story.
I was always an enthusiastic and loving person and I hardly ever acted just for my personal needs. Sometimes this even lead me to fully ignore my inner needs and caused lack of self-love and self-confidence. But the core of my soul, the true me knows and so that I also that I’m here to help people find their way or to help explore themselves. I’m also an artistic person and my personal goal was always to become a singer and give some power to people by my music.
Sadly in February I encountered traumatic experience in my life which made me think that I have a lethal illlness (cancer). I was so terrified and scared but after 2-3 months of waiting it turned out I have no serious problem. My health was in perfect state. Although this period made me feel emotionaly drained and I felt no more motivation to achieve my goals anymore. I got a depression. With time things got better and better but somehow a question came to my mind … ” What is the purpose of life if I die and everyone die one day?” This question threw me back to my depression with an even bigger anxiety. I felt like I’m not the person I once was. My everyday life became grey and sometimes I felt like the person who’s talking to others is not even me. I screamed inside that I want my old-self back. I always had a connection with God or whatever we can call him/her/it. I prayed every night before I went to sleep and talked to him about many things, sometimes I felt like I’ve gone crazy because of this but at some inner level I felt so connected to that something … I cannot describe that feeling. I felt safe and understood. I was never religous and I neither believed in the tales of religions.
But you know after this traumatic event happened to me I felt like that safety which I felt was totally created by my own mind. And there is no God who actually protects me. Of course I tried to convince myself and these two sides the cold racionalistic and the believer idealistic collided. Since then I became better… but I’m not as well as I was before. I know I have a purpose but the fear of death became my main objective. I’m just 20 years old but still I’m constantly thinking about the future and the afterlife. I … just want to believe that I will stay the same. That I will remember the me I’m now. It just makes me terrified and scared that I may get erased or my personality get erased… I want to believe that my soul is THE actual ME and not just something which claimed my body to manifest… and the other thing is that I’m scared that we souls once will unite together… I don’t know why but the fact that I will not be invidual or just me anymore frightens me… and you know I neither want to talk about this to anybody. I want no harm to them because for me this whole process was a true nightmare. Do you think Luna that I was already awakened but then this life event made me lost my fate… or this process that I’m experiencing is awakening itself?
Thank you for your answer!
You must know you help a lot with these writtings on your page. This deep pain is the hardest to bear when someone cannot be understood by others.
Sorry for the long text :(
All the doubts, feeling lonly and not understood by anyone are all signs that you are in the path of awakening. Dont loose hope on God because is the only being that will cleanse you from your fears and uncertanties and connect you with your higher self.
I ve been on the same path when i was 21 in Italy and i felt so helpless that i went in search of God to save me and trust me miracles happen you will experience death before you are reborn to your higher being then you become so pure that you cant handle all the evil in this world not even your evil thoughts you can even consider sucide but trust me this world is designed to test us to the core so we can awake to our true mission that is to help others ease their path of awakening and that we are not crazy or mentally ill we are just awake and finally to make our world a better place.
Sorry for my broken English
Paulos 24 years old from Ethiopia
This time depression, anxiety has fill my heart, I always feel like not talking to anyone all staying indoor. Have prayed to die thrice, I feel what those that are suffering feels, even what the sick one feels I do feel it, sometimes my heart burns, everything I have I have given out, its like am a failure, no hope, no future,no help. I earn daily but always go broke, am giving out everything. I feel headache everyday, so much grief in my heart and I can’t help than crying in place of prayer, sometimes it’s like God is not answering. Am overwhelmed, everything is false to me(my work, my fame,) in need of help from the inside. Thank God I found this site.
I need a help from this site, can someone please talk to me cos I need a help.
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time, Uzochukwu. Even though you may not feel like it, have you tried forcing yourself to talk to friends, family members, or community helpers? Believe me, it’s worth doing. Get it off your chest. I also recommend reaching out to a helpline in your country: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines Let me know how you go.
How do I work through this? Where do I begin spiritual work, shadow work? I feel so alone during this process I’m in need of guidance of people who’ve been through this.
Kayla, I recommend that you start here.
I feel in the midst of what very few can honestly relate. I’ve no longer need to fix others, debate my experiences or look for answers. However with e everything else in this universe ebs and flows, or maybe ego vs consciousness will distract my best attention.
What I’ve to offer is completely free of charge. Just feel my time is closing.
I am completely alone in this world as the more awake the farther others run . Family and friends were the first to unconsciously abandon what use to be there “favorite son”.
Best Regards to Echart Tolle as amongst many mentors in my life he’s my current savior of true sanity.
When in doubt think opposite In this current state of humanity.
Love is an action!!
I love all.
Ryan
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Not going to type a long text here as I am a non native speaker and it will be full of spelling mistakes but Keep this please :
I can totally relate with you !
Thank you… truly thank you… this article has shed so much light. I’ve been in a terribly dark place and having spurts of isolation… a strong urge to untangle and truly allow myself to be… myself. Thank you for the reassurance and motivation. I will share this with my friends who are on the path of awakening. Thank you. Namaste
I’m so pleased to be able to help, Tayeo. Thank you for sharing. :)
I have become less engaged with my own and others ego. I am more honest with myself and others. Now, it feels like some people dislike me immensely or I can sense they do not want to be around me. Help!
This is common Kate, don’t worry. When first going through an awakening there’s often an overwhelming desire to be authentic (as in, no social masks) 100% of the time. Seeing through the pretenses and illusions of the world is tremendously painful and creates a lot of disgust – hence the need to be starkly honest no matter what. But after a while, we must consciously re-adopt these masks, knowing that they’re a necessary part of social existence. A great way to get through this desire to be brutally honest at all costs (if indeed that’s what is happening) is through creative self-expression and journaling. Paint, draw or write about your thoughts and how you feel. You may need a little more solitude than usual to integrate what you’re going through as well. I hope that helps. :)
I started this process 3 yrs ago. Homelessness has been a reoccurring thing. Im tired of it. Im in a tent now. Alone mostly. Ive been betrayed by all. Searching. Unsure of a way out.. Thank you for this article.
I’m so sorry to hear that Sarah. I truly hope things get better for you. Is there a shelter or local support group you can attend at all?
in September 2012 I went through all you describe above and much much more.
I have truly found the meaning of life and think you are almost there its not easy to put into words but for you I will try. basicley the meaning of life can be said in two words LIFE ITSELF Yes everywhere you look there is life. but I aim to explain it the way I was shown by my own inner self. it started with what I thought was just a silly dream I was driving my truck up the M1 motorway it was night and suddenly I was out side my truck still traveling above it running up the motorway the red and white head lights were getting further away has I appeared to get higher the head lights and tail lights began to look like red and white blood cells running up and down a living vein I could see the whole world and it was a living piece of meat for want of a better wording but it did. As my dream kept me going further away from the earth till I could no longer see the earth and I just kept going and going passing stars and things I cant even name everything seem to speed up, or fast forward then suddenly stop. one minute I was looking at a galaxy the next minute the galaxy had changed into a baby the galaxy was like ive never seen in pictures it was like I was really there I could see the sun inside and all the stars like it was shown to me in a way I understood it to be. then the baby, the sun in the galaxy was shining where you would expect the soul to be and I remember the baby was sucking its thumb. then as fast as I got out there I was on my way back in just as I went out I came back in seeing the earth getting bigger and England still pulsating like a living tissue then before I got back to my truck I awoke. you might think big deal just a dream but far from it for 3 days I had a voice in my head that claimed to be my inner self sounds stupid till someone puts it into proper words what I learned about life and its meaning in those 3 days could and would alter the course of the world in the wrong hands. well I hope this has helped you good luck I now have it lol ps if you are looking for god remember every living organism has a consciousness. And has a brain neuron in all this you are able to find out every single thing Ray Leeds