In mainstream culture, there’s a lot of stigma surrounding being a lone wolf.
We’re taught that being a lone wolf means that you’re either psychotic or someone who is socially lacking.
We’re taught that being a lone wolf means you’re selfish, arrogant, or delusional.
Spiritual Wanderer Course:
Being a lone wolf and a spiritual wanderer is a sacred calling in life – a unique and alchemical path of awakening. You don’t need to feel lost, alone, or stuck on your journey any more. It’s time to meet your soul’s deep needs for clarity, self-acceptance, and empowerment. Let us show you how …
While sure, some may be, the vast majority of these stereotypes are products of fearful misunderstanding, rather than truth.
The reality is that being a lone wolf is a mindset, not a mental illness.
It’s a calling to walk your own true path, not the one that has been prescribed for you by society.
In almost every spiritual tradition, being a lone wolf is an essential part of the quest for self-knowledge and inner illumination. Just think of Buddha alone under the Bodhi tree, Jesus alone in the desert, and Muhammad alone in the cave of Hira.
We need solitude, silence, and stillness to hear the call of our soul. We need it to stay sane and connected to ourselves.
As a species, we need the hermits, the wanderers, and the seekers just as much as we need the village people.
Do You Have a “Lone Wolf Mentality”?
If you have a lone wolf mentality, you understand that even in a close relationship, in a workplace, or in a crowd, you still retain your lone wolf nature.
Shadow & Light Membership:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐ "traight from the very first weekly email, this has been mind-blowingly powerful, the synchronicity and the on-vibe contents resonate uncannily with my soul’s current challenges."– Marie
In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson,
“It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”
Emerson is talking about the lone wolf mentality here: someone who can both be in the crowd, but also stand apart from it. Someone who knows how to be with others, but also how to hold onto their independence of thought.
You don’t have to be alone all the time to be a lone wolf. While that may be the case for some lone wolves, it’s beside the point.
Being a lone wolf is a mentality, a mindset, and a quality of the soul. It’s about seeking freedom, authenticity, and truth, rather than being with people or not.
Lone wolves are freethinkers, deep feelers, and some of the most creative and sensitive people you will ever meet. For us, solitude – whether internal or external – is a sacred space, one that we prefer to noise, chaos, and externality.
To have a lone wolf mentality means that you’re forever an outsider looking into a world that feels alien and often absurd. But this soul quality also equips you with many gifts.
The 7 Gifts of Lone Wolf Mentality
“I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” – Henry David Thoreau
The lone wolf mindset, when healthy, isn’t about self-isolating, but about finding the beauty and power in moments of isolation.
A healthy lone wolf will know how to be in the world, but not of the world, as the old biblical idea states. They will show kindness to others, but not be brainwashed with the idea that others “complete” them.
Here are seven gifts of the lone wolf mentality:
- You can see what others can’t due to standing on the outside, making you unusually insightful.
- You know how to find completion and fulfillment within yourself, as you don’t depend on others to make you “whole.”
- You’re an independent, motivated, and “high agency” person who chooses to walk your own path rather than the socially acceptable one.
- You’re a deep thinker who seeks out moments of inner and outer solitude to reflect and contemplate.
- You’re a deep-feeler who can see beyond external appearances and into the heart of matters.
- You’re highly empathic, which is why spending time alone is so healing because it allows you to unwind and reconnect with yourself.
- You have a strong BS detector because your freethinking nature protects you from groupthink and pack mentality.
Can you think of any that I’ve missed? If so, share with me in the comments!
Would you like to save this?
We'll email this article to you, so you can come back to it later!
Your information will never be shared.
***
The lone wolf mentality isn’t a sickness; it’s a superpower. It’s not something to be ashamed of; it’s something to embrace about yourself.
Yes, we are social creatures as humans, just as wolves are. But there’s always one wolf – the lone wolf – that leaves the pack and walks their own path to build a life of their own making.
So tell me, what does the lone wolf mentality mean to you? What’s one surprising gift it has blessed you with? I’d love to hear in the comments!
Whenever you feel the call, there are 2 ways I can help you:
1. The Soul Work Compass Course: Ready for deep transformation without the fluff? The Soul Work Compass provides a step-by-step path to finding your inner truth and life direction. Heal core wounds, clarify your values, and walk away with a concrete guide for living. Get started now!
2. The Inner Work Journal Bundle: Stop surface-level healing. Dive into the depths with 150+ journaling prompts designed to help you face your demons, heal childhood wounds, and embrace your shadow. Three sacred journals, lifetime access, print as many times as you need. Real transformation starts here.
I agree with the benefits. Being in America which you to be tough, independent people, there is now, more then ever, group think or “you have to think this was or you are the enemy” regardless of which side of the aisle you sit . It is sickening to me! The hate, the divide, the lack of independent thought.
The tribalism and “us versus them” mentality is not only aggravating, but it’s also boring and tiring. There’s a huge lack of multi-dimensional thinking out there. We need more critical thinking skills as a species. I can relate, Steve.
Since my wife passed last year, I’ve met someone, who did a lot for me that she didn’t have to do. We became best friends, and the she suggested a date night, because she wanted to get to know me better. Since that night, we developed a beautiful relationship. In September we got engaged. One thing I can’t explain, she has this ability, when she places her hand on the side of my face, what I feel from her blows my mind, I’ve never experienced anything like it before. Any thoughts?
Sounds like you have a deep connection with her, Beau. Congrats on your engagement. :)
Aletheia Luna & Mateo Sol– Your email about being a Lone Wolf was wonderful. As it embedded itself in both my heart and my head, it soothed my soul and lifted my spirits. For several years, I have posted on my kitchen cabinets and refrigerator copies of several of your emails about being a Lone Wolf. I have read many books about the life of a wolf, including one written by a Native American. What I learned from those books made it clear why, for many years, my spirit animal has been the wolf and why I have quietly harbored the culture of the Native American. I have several of my drawings of wolves hanging on the walls of my home. It is what led me to your website and allowed me to embrace your emails and publications. I truly wish I could purchase more of your books but being a painfully divorced 73 year old man living on social security and gliding on an unfortunate journey into Alzheimer’s Disease, all I can afford is to read everyone of your emails and re-read some of publications. I cannot thank you enough for what I have learned and knowing that when I cross over to the other side of life, I will take one look back and have no regrets about being a lone wolf.
Thank you for sharing this, Donald. I’m so glad posts like this uplift your spirit and soothe your soul. Take the very best care of yourself 💜
Hello Donald, I was in doubt if I would share. But considering my own experience with ongoing brain fog, and Alzheimers being a “family thing”. Here I go anyway.
There is a neuroscientist out there on the internet, called Dr Robert Love. He specializes in dementia and Alzheimers disease. He shares a lot of useful information on how we can take the best care of our brain, small everyday life changes that can benefit your brain health. But he also shares about supplements that can even restore damage in the brains.
Last February, I was worried that the family Alzheimers was kicking in at the age of 35. The ongoing brain fog was going really bad. I just felt a zombie not aware what I was doing anymore. I started using lionsmane because of this man’s recommendations. Did some extra research, everything looked great. Even without social media the right information is always available. For me, it made a difference of day and night in a couple of weeks. I am able to read books again, even English books! While english is not my main language. In the Netherlands, when dementia or Alzheimers is diagnosed, you’re not allowed to make choices over your own life anymore. That would be really bad news if your living a solo life. I hope you find this helpful, and can find a way to give it a try. Wishing you well 🙏🏼
You’re often thought of by others as a nonconformist, your independent thinking makes them want to label you negatively when you should be considered as a shining star or beacon of light.
Ah yes, non-conformity. Thanks for this Randy :)
I love this article. It’s so pure of the reality of a lonewolf/loner. The mere fact of the beauty as it is, and not as others see it so strangely. It took me years to realize this of myself. Now I realize it truly is a blessing in so many ways. Thank you for this article and all the others. You two are amazing.
Thank you for these kind words Gina. I’m so glad you can relate 💜
I’ve been traversing the Lone Wolf path for over a decade. I stayed completely solo single, no dating, no relationship. During this time I have grown exponentially, my inner strength and self reliance is astronomical. Now, here comes the fun part, I started dating a man whom I have known for 24 years and life just so made it that we are finally single at the same time. What my Lone Wolf “training” has taught me, is that regardless of where this relationship takes me, whether we’re together forever or only for awhile, either way I will be fine. If it does not last, I am sound and secure in my own self awareness and self reliance that I will heal quick and move on, untethered by pain or longing.
Terri, this is powerful! What a great gift of self-assurance and reliance solitude has given you. I wish your new relationship all the best. Either way, you’ll be fine, and that is a beautiful thing 🤩
What are your thoughts/advice to someone who ends up a lone wolf when it isn’t their special calling/superpower. The ones who never found their “tribe”. The ugly duckling who never met another swan.
My advice would be to learn to play the game. If you’re an unwilling lone wolf and want to find some kind of tribe, you need to learn how to fit in with others or at least put yourself out there enough to find different types of people. You’ve got to get out of your comfort zone and not let an “ugly duckling” story become your reality. If you want it to happen, it can happen. You just need to put in the time, energy, and experimentation. I hope that helps Hannah.
I would say that the lone wolf also carries deeply rooted values—not necessarily perfectionist ones—but he does not bow to external uncertainty. Whenever he is tested in situations where those values are challenged, he remains resolute. Another point: we must not fall into the trap that many people spread about the lone wolf being “more of the same”—that is, a pack of lone wolves. Above all, the lone wolf embodies an archetype, but it is not a ready-made formula; it is the learning and the journey itself that shape the authenticity of lone wolves. Each has their own story to tell and path to follow. Howl, wolves!
Thanks for this perspective, Hans. Being an anarchist, for example, is sometimes conflated with being a lone wolf. But that’s not necessarily the case. Being a lone wolf is an inner experience – a mindset and a soulful calling, not conformity to some kind of social or political group. As you say, it’s about honouring individuality, and I would also say inter-dependence, without codependency.
Thank you for choosing the better words to describe how it feels inside. 🙏🏼
I love this phrase:
“A healthy lone wolf will know how to be in the world, but not of the world.”
Almost like a social chameleon.
(While also still socially selective 😇)
The best gift that solitude gave me, is peace. Peace of mind, more peace in my body. And with that and some other helpfull tools, a LOT of growth could take place. With a more peaceful environment the ongoing battle with the nervous system becomes clearer from a different angle.
You picked the right topic for this month.
Apparently something is going on in the collective. I have seen more content about loneliness vs solitude and isolation this week within the spiritual community. Even the monthly meditation is about healing old patterns when isolation was a form of punishment when growing up. And how that is preventing you from having meaningful connections today.
Totally going with this wave. 🏄♀️
First of all, I appreciate the article, thank you.
I’ve felt this way for as long as I could remember. For a long time, I felt something was wrong with me. The longer I continue down this path, things are beginning to come more into focus for me in regards to my unfolding journey.
I’m now realizing that for this to happen for me, I needed to break away from the pack. It has been 20 plus years in the making. sometimes hard to articulate at times. Articles like these are affirming, just keep walking your path because it’s your path to walk.
Exactly, Chad. I hope you take that leap!
As Christmas approaches, I think the topic of solitude vs loneliness is particularly relevant. But it’s something so many people struggle with all year long. I hope to continue speaking about this topic past the holiday period into the new year. Thanks, Evelien. :)
I absolutely love ❤️ this email from start to finish; I embrace the loner wolf mentality and live my life that allows me to walk and make my own path everyday to the best of my ability. I can walk among others and connect and so forth! 🐺
Thank you for sharing this, April! I’m so glad you’re getting to walk your own path each day 💜