In mainstream culture, there’s a lot of stigma surrounding being a lone wolf.
We’re taught that being a lone wolf means that you’re either psychotic or someone who is socially lacking.
We’re taught that being a lone wolf means you’re selfish, arrogant, or delusional.
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While sure, some may be, the vast majority of these stereotypes are products of fearful misunderstanding, rather than truth.
The reality is that being a lone wolf is a mindset, not a mental illness.
It’s a calling to walk your own true path, not the one that has been prescribed for you by society.
In almost every spiritual tradition, being a lone wolf is an essential part of the quest for self-knowledge and inner illumination. Just think of Buddha alone under the Bodhi tree, Jesus alone in the desert, and Muhammad alone in the cave of Hira.
We need solitude, silence, and stillness to hear the call of our soul. We need it to stay sane and connected to ourselves.
As a species, we need the hermits, the wanderers, and the seekers just as much as we need the village people.
Do You Have a “Lone Wolf Mentality”?
If you have a lone wolf mentality, you understand that even in a close relationship, in a workplace, or in a crowd, you still retain your lone wolf nature.
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In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson,
“It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”
Emerson is talking about the lone wolf mentality here: someone who can both be in the crowd, but also stand apart from it. Someone who knows how to be with others, but also how to hold onto their independence of thought.
You don’t have to be alone all the time to be a lone wolf. While that may be the case for some lone wolves, it’s beside the point.
Being a lone wolf is a mentality, a mindset, and a quality of the soul. It’s about seeking freedom, authenticity, and truth, rather than being with people or not.
Lone wolves are freethinkers, deep feelers, and some of the most creative and sensitive people you will ever meet. For us, solitude – whether internal or external – is a sacred space, one that we prefer to noise, chaos, and externality.
To have a lone wolf mentality means that you’re forever an outsider looking into a world that feels alien and often absurd. But this soul quality also equips you with many gifts.
The 7 Gifts of Lone Wolf Mentality
“I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” – Henry David Thoreau
The lone wolf mindset, when healthy, isn’t about self-isolating, but about finding the beauty and power in moments of isolation.
A healthy lone wolf will know how to be in the world, but not of the world, as the old biblical idea states. They will show kindness to others, but not be brainwashed with the idea that others “complete” them.
Here are seven gifts of the lone wolf mentality:
- You can see what others can’t due to standing on the outside, making you unusually insightful.
- You know how to find completion and fulfillment within yourself, as you don’t depend on others to make you “whole.”
- You’re an independent, motivated, and “high agency” person who chooses to walk your own path rather than the socially acceptable one.
- You’re a deep thinker who seeks out moments of inner and outer solitude to reflect and contemplate.
- You’re a deep-feeler who can see beyond external appearances and into the heart of matters.
- You’re highly empathic, which is why spending time alone is so healing because it allows you to unwind and reconnect with yourself.
- You have a strong BS detector because your freethinking nature protects you from groupthink and pack mentality.
Can you think of any that I’ve missed? If so, share with me in the comments!
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The lone wolf mentality isn’t a sickness; it’s a superpower. It’s not something to be ashamed of; it’s something to embrace about yourself.
Yes, we are social creatures as humans, just as wolves are. But there’s always one wolf – the lone wolf – that leaves the pack and walks their own path to build a life of their own making.
So tell me, what does the lone wolf mentality mean to you? What’s one surprising gift it has blessed you with? I’d love to hear in the comments!
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Dearest Luna & Sol….it’s as though you could feel my energy calling to you for guidance on this subject. Yes, of course, I am the Lone Wolf empath and having the delicate but straightforward message that I so needed to understand just what I am feeling so deeply at this time of my life, is so appreciated and timely. Every point you mentioned in the article is exactly the being I am and have found to be in my life experiences. The Lone Wolf mentality has been so freeing and sacred to me on my journey that I long for my quite time every day and sometimes more often during the weeks and months. As I age, I find that I prefer to do things and go places by myself. I’ve settled into the fact that I do not need others around me to enjoy doing something and I no longer seek out others to join me when I’m traveling or working on a project. I also never want to be in a group, especially of women, in any type of leadership role or community involvement any longer to matter or work for change. And I feel really comfortable saying no now to others who have the expectation of having me in a group or gathering to fit in. Thank you for this true confirmation and affirmation that my Lone Wolf self is just where I am supposed to be in my life and to embrace and embody this precious gift of being alone and free. Peace and many blessings!
Thank you, seriously. I’ve been this way since I have memory. Mama tried to make me fit in, but saw no real sense in it, so I didn’t either. I have no tribe and not much of a desire to belong to one. Social situations are painful when more than three souls are involved. I’m okay with that. It works for me.
As a lone wolf when you meet other lone wolves ya’ll develop a pack mentality.. sort of tribalistic so-to-speak.
Sounds like the opposite of a lone wolf to me, which inherently doesn’t want to be part of a group and get lost in pack mentality.
Bravo!
:)
Thank you so much for this…you described it so well! Crowds drain me and I can’t wait to escape to a quiet corner to recharge. Thank you for stating that lone wolves are not weird. We just don’t need to follow the crowd.
I’m glad you found this validating, Anneleen ;)
Most certainly 🌷
I used to be surrounded by people, but have definitely become a lone wolf since this journey began. Now I spend all my days in solitude. I’m a young woman on the outside but an old hermit man on the inside. It feels like I can’t go back into society, though I know one day I will have to, and stand with one foot in each world. I sometimes slip into self-doubt watching other people constantly surrounded by family, friends, and social events, while being alone all the time, but it’s the only place that feels safe… and the only way to tune inward and find guidance. Thank you for the reminder of how important the lone wolf path is. Always such a comfort to receive these emails :) Looking forward to them the rest of this year!!
I don’t think it’s just a sensitized and empathic awareness of psychology and interpersonal behaviour and games, I think also there’s an analytical, dispassionate awareness of the structural elements that make up society.
You soon realize that a lot of the “alternative” political and ideological tics you picked up because they appealed to your romantic temperament are as absolutist and idiotic as anything the mainstream threw up. You have no choice but to take a heterodox bird’s-eye-view, and not be bound by tribal scripts.
And, as valuable as spirituality is, there’s as many narcissistic vultures and hustling grifters in that space as there is in the corporate world, so independent thought and discernment is key.
The solitude of the lone wolf is crucial, because once you drop the masks and performance you unconsciously adopted to survive, you are very raw. Too much social contact just becomes a kind of contaminating overload.
I’m not even that keen to immerse myself in “spiritual communities.” I meditate, and went to a Buddhist sangha to check it out. I encountered a lot of self-conscious, more-spiritual-than-thou, antiseptic, right-on middle-class niceness. There seemed to be more effete dissociation going on than metaphysical confrontation.
“I’m not even that keen to immerse myself in “spiritual communities.” I meditate, and went to a Buddhist sangha to check it out. I encountered a lot of self-conscious, more-spiritual-than-thou, antiseptic, right-on middle-class niceness. There seemed to be more effete dissociation going on than metaphysical confrontation.” –– I can 100% relate to this, Steve. Strangely, the people who I feel most uncomfortable and isolated around are these types of “spiritual” people (other than flat-out religious fundamentalists). I’m so glad I’m not the only one who sees or feels this way.
“I’m a young woman on the outside but an old hermit man on the inside.” — Yep, I’ve felt this way before haha Have you ever seen the Hermit card from the tarot? That’s what I picture.
I cannot process or comment for other Loner Wolf persons, as each one becomes their own individual personality, with strong will and an individual level of essence, to drive experience, and grounding in life. Their inner values and mindset are created and formed from early childhood life, which they find grate upon and shape their outer lives with painful experiences, directing a particular way they feel, perceive, think, and educate themselves, processing mentally all they need in a supportive and mindful way and rejecting the BS and crap of modern life.
Many creative thinkers, writers, and visual artists, anthropologists, and naturalists follow in the footsteps of their predecessors in early life. They yearn to be fulfilled!
Some withdraw from life to find inner spiritual realms and to discover Nature, God given abilities and talents. While others find modern life is false, wrong, restrictive, and disabling to their sensitivities, harmful to their directives, focus of intention, and they crave inner pulls to discover more truth. Others support families, with outer life experiences, but crave the pull of zoning out of modern life and just going back to a simpler existence via getting the solitude and education they need from nature and never coming out again.
Conclusion:- Recently, I discovered the “Mountain Man” series on Freeview.
The inner and outer experiences of individual men who chose lives of solitude in the American Wilderness. A great educational series, if you wish to better understand what makes or drives Loner Wolf men/women to forego the pleasures and comforts of modern existence for the American Wilderness, with all its dangers from predators, unpredictable, hot/cold, to freezing climate. To begin with very little or no assistance, and to rebuild their inner and outer lives in isolation, loneliness, in simple ways that defy and challenge our greed and arrogance in the Modern World.
I’m excited to check out this series, John. Thank you for suggesting it!
Yes I agree I’ve always liked my own path and am minimally social. I love my solitude and just realized how much I missed it. Just taking a walk to feel the breeze and sun on your face is very comforting . I love it !
Taking care of a 1 year old now, I realize the same thing. I’m craving solitude too! I’m glad you’re getting some time for yourself Joseph :)
The most obvious gift that being a loner has given me is not just mental strength but physical strength also, it feels like the ground shakes beneath my feet when I walk, I have a presence that has come from my many adventures and my great suffering, weak people want to take that strength and presence away from me because they envy me but they can’t.
Few people talk about the strength that comes from braving solitude (inner or outer). It’s seen as a weakness not a strength. Thank you for sharing this new perspective and personal experience Stephen. ;)
From an early age the Lone Wolf seeks the understanding and clarification from many others as to his/her identity position and place in the World. Often this fails, due to restrictions, blocks and past emotional hurts which limit or stop freedom. So the Loner Wolf isolates to an inner World of self expression away from the noise hurts and restrictions of the outer World.
They return to the clean clear energies found in the natural World.
To express their sensitivities, heal their emotional wounds and go off grid. Nature becomes them, as a soothing balm, their inner connection, and full educator. So what they take is given back three fold. They become of the World but not part of the outer BS of modern life. They nourish self love, caring for other members of the pack, yet retain solitary fields of thought, spirit and action to build their own World without seeking help only the peace of solitude and the divine rights of will to succeed.