Thin-skinned, hyper-sensitive, wimpy, spineless, wussy, feeble, weak, fragile, melodramatic, temperamental …
If you can relate to, or have been called a combination of any of these words, chances are you’re part of a unique group of people: the Empaths.
Occurring in an estimated 5% of the population, Empaths are known for their highly developed ability to sense the emotions and thoughts of the people around them. As author and Empath Christel Broederlow put it “empaths often possess the ability to sense others on many different levels”, this includes the abilities to intimately understand what a person desires, yearns for, and is currently feeling, suffering or thinking, as well as the ability to feel other people’s bodily illnesses. These occurances manifest themselves as energy vibrations that the finely tuned Empath can pick up on, or “tune into”.
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Commonly identifying as clairsentients and HSPs, Empaths possess an ability that is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, the Empath is an excellent listener and counselor, knowing the best way to comfort and assist those around them. On the other, being an Empath can be painful and tiring. It’s common for the Empath to be weighed down and constantly congested with the negative emotional energy of others, often creating physical and psychological disharmony.
Although the Empath has a wonderful gift, and is often greatly cherished by those around them, they are often challenged and confronted by a variety of misguided perceptions towards their innate gift.
Myths & Misunderstandings
“You need to grow some thicker skin! Stop being so overly sensitive.” I wish I could tell you how many times I heard that in my childhood! Growing up as an Empath, you may have experienced similar insults from your parents, friends or peers, and perhaps even worse.
It’s not at all trendy or popular to be sensitive or feeling in our society that values efficiency, cold calculation, and industrial resilience. Therefore, you may have experienced and still experience, a lot of antagonism towards your behavior as an Empath. I will explore four of these main misperceptions below.
Myth #1 – Empaths are navel-gazing and self-absorbed.
Truth – We often focus more on others than on ourselves.
It’s true that Empaths are often unexplainably moody and quiet on the outside. However, this isn’t because they’re excessively absorbed thinking too much about themselves and their feelings. Rather, the Empath is often deeply affected by the exterior emotions of others that he experiences as his own. The Empath’s ability to intuitively feel the feelings of others is what weighs him down so much. In fact, it’s characteristic of the Empath to pay more attention to others needs than his own.
Myth #2 – Empaths are mentally ill.
Truth – We are magnets of negative energy. This often creates psychological disbalance within us.
Empaths are excellent listeners, confidants, and counselors. For this reason, it’s common for people to be drawn towards their sincere and caring natures, almost like magnets. Therefore, Empaths often experience a lot of “emotional baggage dumping” from other people, and have difficult releasing themselves from the negative energy that remains in their minds and bodies afterwards.
Unfortunately, this can lead to a lot of lingering depressive emotions that the Empath is left with. Thus, the Empath can appear to be mentally ill and depressed, and in some cases legitimately is. However, in most cases the Empath is congested with remnants of harmful emotional energy, like sinuses are congested with mucus during a flu virus.
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The root of the problem doesn’t lie with the Empath, it’s a result of their outer emotional climate.
Myth #3 – Empaths are psychologically frail.
Truth – We are biologically programmed to be more sensitive and in tune with our surrounding environment.
As Empath Nicole Lawler wrote, Empaths are essentially “walking around in this world with all the accumulated karma, emotions, and energy from others”. Understandably, this results in a lot of inner emotional tension for the Empath who is more prone to crying and exhibiting other signs of “weakness”.
Additionally, the Empath finds it extremely difficult to partake in many “normal” activities. For instance, watching a movie about Nazi concentration camps is extremely emotionally upsetting for the Empath, and getting a job in an office is overwhelming and tiring for the Empath who is bombarded with other people’s emotions constantly. Therefore, it’s not surprising that the Empath is often perceived as “wussy”, “frail” or “weak minded” to the person who fails to comprehend the constant pressure the Empath lives under.
The fact that most Empaths aren’t driven clinically insane by the constant emotional flux they experience is testimony enough to their mental strength.
Myth #4 – Empaths are lazy.
Truth – We often lack mental, emotional and physical energy due to our intense empathetic ability to understand others.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) amongst other physical issues like headaches, insomnia and Fibromyalgia, have all been commonly attributed to Empaths.
If our minds are constantly overloaded with stress, tension and pressure, it therefore translates that our bodies are as well. This often results in sicknesses such as the ones mentioned above. Thus Empaths often lack the energy and therefore desire to do many things, preferring to relax (including taking naps) instead.
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If you’ve experienced any of these misperceptions in your life, please feel free to share your experiences below. Also, feel free to take our Empath Test or read our empath book to get more in-depth guidance. Being an Empath can certainly be riddled with setbacks, however, it’s invaluable to remember how much of an asset you are to the world. Our planet needs a balance of both hard and industrious people, and soft and empathetic people. You form an important part in this great Universal Balance.
If you would you some more free resources, check out our extensive collection of empath articles!
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I sense energy that is close but not so close it has happened yet. I am like two or three days early sometimes. I can sense someone is in trouble for a couple days so I will call to find out they just rolled their car down a cliff. I didn’t want to take a trip and everyone was upset with me so we went. We were in a car accident, hit twice. I sensed evil at thrift store in certain area, the owner was murdered in that area a few days later. It was one of the worst energies I have ever felt. My daughter saw it in me as she grew up and decided I must be a witch. lol I can feel what is inside people when I around them, crowds are terrible. I sense energy off of things. I like antiques but I only buy the ones that have a certain feeling to them. This was all bearable when I was younger but later in life I was assaulted by a stalker and sense then I am much more sensitive. I am retired now so if I have to I can shut the world out for awhile. No phone, TV, nothing coming in. Three or four days later I start to feel better and go back out in the world and start over. If I did not have that solitude it would be almost impossible to cope with since the attack. When I was young my grandmother knew all this about me. She taught me how to use it to stay safe and pay attention to it. I sometimes wonder if she wasn’t an Empath. It’s not all bad but it’s not easy by any means.
You give some very wise advice Barbara in regards to training this ability to work for you rather than against you as soon as possible. Thank you for sharing your experiences here with us. I hope it comforts you in some way to know that others like you are out there as well.
Yes it was nice to find out that I am not alone. I feel like I’ve been in a club and didn’t know it. lol I think I was blessed that my grandmother taught me to make it work for me as much as possible. When I look back she was the only one who knew and I never had to tell her. Like I said I wonder if she was an Empath to. She had a sense about me that others in my life never have and I never had to say a word. It’s nice to read the comments and see that others have made it work for them to. I really think it can be trained and the younger the better
I have known all my life that I had this gift and even though my younger years were sometimes excruciatingly painful, I have learned how to use it and somewhat master it. It has been amazing to see this gift grow into something that now days, I have become dependent on as my guide. I see things in my mind and watch them manifest In my world. I can predict outcomes and see into the future. I can sense when I am going in the right direction or not. It has become my life guide
That is a beautiful approach to Empathy Randy. Once you get over the beginning hurdles and hone the abilities, it becomes a profoundly useful gift!
I am an Empath and sometimes i hate it. When i feel drained of energy i feel like i am being torn apart. My head hurts, body hurts, and i just need to get away. it hard to when love ones see me like that and want to help. I make me feel worst and it is hard to explain to them what is going on. Its like i am a radio picking up white-noise. The thoughts of everyone is being picked up and i try not to push love ones away but them being there makes me worst.
It’s hard at the beginning to deal with the sheer influx of so much stimulation and data. I actually wrote about this topic, and my own journey of how to heal: https://lonerwolf.com/being-an-empath-awakening/
:)
Haha – I would say Empaths come in all shapes and sizes. I only got 63% on the Empath test and I work as an intuitive healer. I am resilient, I have good boundaries, I am oversensitive and go up and down though. I enjoy talking and socialising but need down time.
A number of the most sensitive people I know in terms of ability, with highly fine tuned ethics might I add, are people who are very resilient and actually NOT shy or fragile.
On the contrary, they know that the sea of murkiness existing in others also exists in themselves and they are unafraid of their own shadows and confront that darkness with a will to improve themselves.
While it’s nice this resonates for some, I am a little tired of the Empath box that I am supposed to be squeezed into – just as some psychics are not spiritually oriented (and are in fact dangerous), some empaths can have abundant energy. I think aligning these qualities is misleading as it is not my experience.
Of course Dlighted: empaths come in all shapes and sizes. Nothing and no one is black and white (and it is very difficult to include that complexity within the confines of say, a test).
Some empaths are introverted, others ambiverted, and still others are extroverted. Some have good boundaries, some have poor boundaries, some are hardy, some are fragile. It all depends on the person and their experience. But generally speaking there are a few traits which all empaths experience (the ability to feel other’s emotions/thoughts, fatigue, sensitivity).
No one ever said that you needed to fit yourself into this box. ;)
No of course one need not fit in any box Aletheia, and I do not mean to accuse you of being a box maker exactly, it’s just there seems to be a trend in generalising online on a lot of spiritual type sites via tests of the sort here. It concerns me that people would find their victim consciousness (not their vulnerability) a proud emblem instead of one more area in which to aspire to growth.
I can see where you’re coming from exactly Dlighted. I find it unfortunate that gifts such as being an empath are made into badges of victimhood where other people are blamed for their “toxic emotions.” It’s another form of escape and shrugging off self-responsibility. In fact, yesterday I wrote another article on being an empath which I hope to post in the next couple of days that mentions this trend, especially among empaths, to fall into self-pity. I hope to elaborate on this interesting topic more in the future.
Thanks for your thoughts. :)
I received a score of 92. I have always felt like I was an old soul and feel extra sensitive about myself and others but this is the first I’m reading of possibly being an Empath. I believe I am married to an Empath as well. (2nd marriage) I often feel mentally drained at work (pharmacy tech at Kmart) whenever I’m listening to someone’s story I can put myself in it, and really feel their emotions. I’m always second guessing myself because i worry about how my decisions will affect others.
You must have an advantage being married to an Empath (you can both understand to each other on a deeper emotional level). Second-guessing yourself when it comes to caring how your actions will affect others is healthy and beneficial to me. If more people could second-guess themselves the world would be a more harmonious place. :)
Thanks for reading.
I recently found out I’m an empath. I took the test out of curiosity and scored 99/100 ☹
Ive been this way always and long ago accepted myself as eternally lost.
People make me want to crawl under a rock. Next thing I know, they’ve found me and I think to myself, “here i go…more life sucked out of me….dumb traitor rock!”
For me, ugh, how do I explain? It’s like I can see inside people; their feelings, thoughts, emotions and sometimes I don’t like what I see and feel.
I do find comfort in reading these posts that I’m not a freak and I may possibly make peace with myself.
I’ve had the same feeling many times before about people Annie, so I know where you’re coming from! But eventually you learn that avoidance makes the whole situation worse. The more exposure, and the more willingness to grow (even from pain), the better.
I do hope this post inspires you on your journey.
This is soo me too. I am glad I have found your website. I have gotten 100% on your quiz. I am always tired…No energy. I have aches and pains. to anxiety and panic attacks. to I can feel when someone is shady or Lying. I go through different emotions too all in 1 day. very crazy. I am like a magnet from children to pets and older people and even spirits!!. I can feel when spirits are around me and I can even feel all there emotions from there death. I get a very bad chill to goose bumps and feeling of someone watching me but I am alone!!. almost like tickles in a way. This is when I feel spirits. sometimes I can also hear them but only when they want me to hear!!. My husband gets freaked out because I can always read his mind before he even says it…lol. and I have read other people before they said things too. I’d rather be alone then be in a crowded place to much emotion for me. I have been called some of these “You need to grow some thicker skin! Stop being so overly sensitive.” I have been told this a million times in my life over the years!!!. The sad part is that is just me!!. People feel they can even talk with me all the time!!. I am still reading your website to really figure out what kind of empath I am. I am thinking I am a few of the empath’s you mention on your website!!. Thank you soo much for making this website!!!. :)
Thank you Jen! My pleasure! And I’m happy that you can learn more about yourself thanks to the articles here. :)
Reading this article, and the comments afterwards, makes me feel SO much better to know that I’m not alone in this. Just a few days ago, the guy I’d been seeing for a year and a half left me stating that he couldn’t handle my emotions anymore. This has been a trend my whole life, with friends, lovers, family members. I was beginning to think that I was insane, or at least going there anyway. I’ve always had to limit myself around emotionally/ physically wearing people, and have never quite understood why. Thank you for this article. While it does nothing to still my anxiety over these things, I take comfort in knowing that I’m not alone.
Knowing that you’re not alone is one of the first steps to healing Liz. It’s wonderful to me to know that you no longer feel “crazy” — believe me, I have felt that way many times before in life, so I know the feeling. <3
I used to find it a curse, but as I matured, both mentally and physically, for some reason, I can control my “tiredness” and recharge easily, if I take breaks. I can now recognize this. It used to always lead me to be involved with people, with whom I perceived, who “needed me” and I would be drained from those who used me in a negative way. When I discovered how I wasn’t using this gift given to me in a positive manner, I was able to learn to recognize and change the negative and turn it into the positive. Once I did this, my life feels so much more strong and better and I can actually help this world instead of adding more negativity and harm. Does anyone understand what I mean?
I think I can understand where you are coming from Gretchen. Developing psychological maturity helps to make empathy something valued, rather than hated.
Having known for most of my life that I am empathic, I took the test anyway. 94% …and I believe that the only reason I didn’t score 100 is because I have learned to release some of the negative energy that I absorb from others. Also, I don’t feel as if my sensitivity is a hindrance in any way. I joyfully embrace the gifts I have been given, sometimes to the extent of worrying my husband. LOL.
Anywhere I go, I attract those less fortunate mentally or developmentally. I am often approached by strangers that almost immediately tell me their life story or their troubles. I don’t mind this. I offer kindness and sympathy and leave them with a blessing for Light, Love, and Happiness. If my taking on of some of their energy gives them a smile, a happy moment in their day, or gives them hope that not everyone in the world is uncaring, then I gladly offer my energy to them.
However, because of this, I have had to create my own personal space that allows me re-center, balance, and dispel the adopted energy. I have also been blessed with finding my soul mate whose energy acts as a cleanser and grounding rod. Being in this persons presence recharges me and clarifies me.
To those who feel being an empath is a disability, I urge you to learn how to filter and dispel.
As empaths, we are also the people that very rarely say “no” to others, often to our own detriment. Learn to say “no” when it’s necessary and not feel guilty. You don’t have to help everyone all the time. Natural pessimists and emotionally unstable people, learn to recognize them and limit their interactions in your life. It can be done and makes for a happier, healthier empath. :-)
May you be filled with Love, Light, and Happiness!
Some terrific advice here Rebecca. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. :)