Thin-skinned, hyper-sensitive, wimpy, spineless, wussy, feeble, weak, fragile, melodramatic, temperamental …
If you can relate to, or have been called a combination of any of these words, chances are you’re part of a unique group of people: the Empaths.
Occurring in an estimated 5% of the population, Empaths are known for their highly developed ability to sense the emotions and thoughts of the people around them. As author and Empath Christel Broederlow put it “empaths often possess the ability to sense others on many different levels”, this includes the abilities to intimately understand what a person desires, yearns for, and is currently feeling, suffering or thinking, as well as the ability to feel other people’s bodily illnesses. These occurances manifest themselves as energy vibrations that the finely tuned Empath can pick up on, or “tune into”.
Commonly identifying as clairsentients and HSPs, Empaths possess an ability that is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, the Empath is an excellent listener and counselor, knowing the best way to comfort and assist those around them. On the other, being an Empath can be painful and tiring. It’s common for the Empath to be weighed down and constantly congested with the negative emotional energy of others, often creating physical and psychological disharmony.
Although the Empath has a wonderful gift, and is often greatly cherished by those around them, they are often challenged and confronted by a variety of misguided perceptions towards their innate gift.
Myths & Misunderstandings
“You need to grow some thicker skin! Stop being so overly sensitive.” I wish I could tell you how many times I heard that in my childhood! Growing up as an Empath, you may have experienced similar insults from your parents, friends or peers, and perhaps even worse.
It’s not at all trendy or popular to be sensitive or feeling in our society that values efficiency, cold calculation, and industrial resilience. Therefore, you may have experienced and still experience, a lot of antagonism towards your behavior as an Empath. I will explore four of these main misperceptions below.
Myth #1 – Empaths are navel-gazing and self-absorbed.
Truth – We often focus more on others than on ourselves.
It’s true that Empaths are often unexplainably moody and quiet on the outside. However, this isn’t because they’re excessively absorbed thinking too much about themselves and their feelings. Rather, the Empath is often deeply affected by the exterior emotions of others that he experiences as his own. The Empath’s ability to intuitively feel the feelings of others is what weighs him down so much. In fact, it’s characteristic of the Empath to pay more attention to others needs than his own.
Myth #2 – Empaths are mentally ill.
Truth – We are magnets of negative energy. This often creates psychological disbalance within us.
Empaths are excellent listeners, confidants, and counselors. For this reason, it’s common for people to be drawn towards their sincere and caring natures, almost like magnets. Therefore, Empaths often experience a lot of “emotional baggage dumping” from other people, and have difficult releasing themselves from the negative energy that remains in their minds and bodies afterwards.
Unfortunately, this can lead to a lot of lingering depressive emotions that the Empath is left with. Thus, the Empath can appear to be mentally ill and depressed, and in some cases legitimately is. However, in most cases the Empath is congested with remnants of harmful emotional energy, like sinuses are congested with mucus during a flu virus.
The root of the problem doesn’t lie with the Empath, it’s a result of their outer emotional climate.
Myth #3 – Empaths are psychologically frail.
Truth – We are biologically programmed to be more sensitive and in tune with our surrounding environment.
As Empath Nicole Lawler wrote, Empaths are essentially “walking around in this world with all the accumulated karma, emotions, and energy from others”. Understandably, this results in a lot of inner emotional tension for the Empath who is more prone to crying and exhibiting other signs of “weakness”.
Additionally, the Empath finds it extremely difficult to partake in many “normal” activities. For instance, watching a movie about Nazi concentration camps is extremely emotionally upsetting for the Empath, and getting a job in an office is overwhelming and tiring for the Empath who is bombarded with other people’s emotions constantly. Therefore, it’s not surprising that the Empath is often perceived as “wussy”, “frail” or “weak minded” to the person who fails to comprehend the constant pressure the Empath lives under.
The fact that most Empaths aren’t driven clinically insane by the constant emotional flux they experience is testimony enough to their mental strength.
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Myth #4 – Empaths are lazy.
Truth – We often lack mental, emotional and physical energy due to our intense empathetic ability to understand others.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) amongst other physical issues like headaches, insomnia and Fibromyalgia, have all been commonly attributed to Empaths.
If our minds are constantly overloaded with stress, tension and pressure, it therefore translates that our bodies are as well. This often results in sicknesses such as the ones mentioned above. Thus Empaths often lack the energy and therefore desire to do many things, preferring to relax (including taking naps) instead.
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If you’ve experienced any of these misperceptions in your life, please feel free to share your experiences below. Also, feel free to take our Empath Test or read our empath book to get more in-depth guidance. Being an Empath can certainly be riddled with setbacks, however, it’s invaluable to remember how much of an asset you are to the world. Our planet needs a balance of both hard and industrious people, and soft and empathetic people. You form an important part in this great Universal Balance.
If you would you some more free resources, check out our extensive collection of empath articles!
Empathy is a big part of my life, I thought that the fact that after helping someone I felt so down was a bad thing, that it wasn’t normal. I’m always helping other people with their stuff, and I constantly get headaches. to the point, I don’t mention it to anyone anymore. there have been many occasions where I feel like my skull is being squeezed and by the time I’m home, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.
I don’t normally connect in this form with people, but I just feel luke have to because all of this that I have been reading from this site just connects so deeply with me. I’m a junior in high school and unfortunately for most of my life I felt like I was broken. I had an inexplicable amount of “problems” and I had no idea where they all came from. I never really had any major life shaking trauma that gave me anxiety, mood swings, muscular pain, tension headaches and many many other random mental, emotional, and physical issues. I used to make up stories that I had gone through some form of trauma to validate myself and what I was feeling. I would try to suppress my sensitivity by acting tough, fearless and larger than life. My brother was often referred to as the most empathetic person in my family, so when I first heard of Empaths I disregarded myself as one and decided not to be informed I guess. But just today I think is the first time I’m realizing that I am very likely the most empathetic person I know, and I don’t mean this in a egotistical way at all, I’m just being sincerely honest. I can’t even begin to describe how good it feel to finally be validated and not think that I’m broken. I finally have an explanation. Thank you for writing these articles, they helped me realize how amazingly perfect I am in my own way and that I’m not broken.
Ive let my empathy come in between my marriage. Im the family caretaker in a family with multiple bipolar people. It has wrecked havoc with my emotions to absorb this. At 53, I’m learning how to set a wall.
Good morning Patti I’m Joseph. I highly doubt that you “let” that cause a fulcrum between you and your spouse. Even if they try they never understand the gathering and release of energy “we “do. Constant state of repair and recreation on a minute to minute basis. I currently live alone for a purpose. The ups and downs I can deal with…. but them. It’s a different story Wanted to let you know you are not alone. Find others like us.
There are are no types of empaths.. we harnass all the described qualities in us. But due to trauma and abuse which empaths experience a lot..some of the gifts ared covered with fear . But we have them all.
I’m nearly 40 and have been experiencing this for as long as I can remember. I have two unanswered questions. Firstly, how can I tell if a thought or emotion is authentically mine, or I am simply “tuned in” to someone else? Secondly, why can we do this?
I’m only 16 but I’ve been aware of being an empath for years after I would stuffing with confusing peoples emotions for my own. Recently I’ve started taking a mental step back and tracing the emotions like “why do I suddenly feel this? does this emotion have anything to do with what I was already feeling?” If I can’t figure out why I feel that way it’s pretty much a sign it’s not your emotions. As for you second question I really don’t know why or how we can do this. I like to believe that we should use it to help people and to help other people understand their own emotions.
Be the observer of any thoughts and stop it in its track because you do not want to be this way so do not try to keep it let it go, we know who we can be a certain way with and adjust and let answers flow. I feel trees, pine trees mostly, other people, dogs, highly spiritual people who have very strong presence that can be intoxicating even getting a hair cuts. Spirits yes at least that’s what I believe. I go walking at the park in the dark at night and enjoy it.. We have Tendency to overwhelm and shock people with a knowing. There is no voices or racing thoughts never had these only reading voice. Clear vision, we are able to change or adapt to there level of awareness to be able to connect. In my experience I’m 41 capricorn 9 I learn to see the lessons in everything, Sometimes you just want to put your hands on there head and wake them or fix them but no avail. know an sense who you are your strengths and weaknesses if any. Learn to take what you absorb whether energy its self or negative energy and use it later in boxing or other or change it, we are so capable of solving and seeing what others do not perceive because we are authentic old souls and have a strong light, people who want and need our help are the one’s trying to fit in and in doing so they play a role most often losing them selves and creating voices, alter ego’s and such. Over time observing more and learning what works VS what don’t you can decern who is authentic and who is hiding be hide a role. Some shut down cause they know what you are they become submissive and leave because you seen and recognized them and know what they are about to do. These types will try to inflate your ego if one has one. Your able to have them tell you the truth. Third eye stare comes in handy depending on they’re state of mind they will stop and fully listen and not continue anything but listening. Learn how to be in tune with your energy. In meditation it should be incredibly awesome to where you do not feel your body anymore amazing things happen you find out real quick what’s real- Laying down meditation. Never stop reading and absorbing knowledge this is key, and your subconscious stores everything an it comes in handy. Learn all about you in solitude, I’ve been alone 7 yrs, working with people before that and getting over what people think and in doing so it is harder for the others to trigger or project negative emotions. We have all we need within we see all and feel all even further out, the answers can be Erie, a seeing and of feeling stuff far out past earth. Dreams very vivid the second life. Places we go and I could go on but this perception of reality here is what people can or will only want to see. I do not see weird stuff like fantasy that certain groups maintain to fit in. Being a kid from 9 foster homes adopted and raised to be a work horse on a ranch at 6 to be controlled and punished just because they are repeating the cycle of control, an me and my sister would feel our mom get of work… not a good feeling. We must adapt and learn we can all do this. Stay bright stay amazing and do not integrate other’s be you and step into one’s truth of what we are capable of doing. Thank you, smile we are love.
i have the same questions. i gave up on trying to know when a feeling or thought was mine. i had to go into nature and just sit to sort those things out.
The words at the beginning really attached me … My bf left me for being sensitive to weirdest things n I tried to let my emotions out in front of him .. bad experience tbh … But I’m happy rn cuz I understand that people generally don’t understand other’s emotions that well so I’ve given up on making people understand me
I can’t even begin to express how excited & free I feel now. I thought there was something wrong with me..
I feel most comfortable being close friends with people who are Empaths as well. I enjoy discussing deep emotions and being vulnerable. I don’t really care for having lots of followers on Instagram or what people think of me. I love helping people and want the people I’m closest friends with to be lifted up. Those that aren’t Empaths embrace it at first but eventually use that against me in the long run. I’m learning to create boundaries and to understand MOST people look at sensitivity as a weakness. That’s because it’s a belief THEY have from childhood. I was encouraged to allow myself to feel the emotions I was going through. A lot of times when I feel emotional, I now know it’s not necessarily something I’m personally going through. It’s usually a close friend or family member having issues and I’m feeling their sadness/stress/pain. I’m 35 and for many years used cannabis heavily thinking it was helping me. For the first time since I was 19 years old I haven’t smoked or used cannabis in any way in over 50 days. It’s helped me So much. I feel more grounded and am not setting myself up to be surrounded by those who choose self-destructive behaviors to overcome their issues. I’m noticing who my “real” friends are. It’s refreshing. We all encounter people throughout our life and it teaches us more about ourselves. A very close friend ended a relationship with me through text message saying “I was too sensitive” and I felt like she was going through something, she refused to discuss continuing our friendship in person. I gracefully thanked her for her honesty (even though I know she was having a problem with her loneliness and not being in an intimate relationship.) what this has taught me is to watch who I’m vulnerable and share my inner desires and secrets with. Not everyone allows themselves the gift of giving unconditional love. I’m grateful for the lesson I’ve learned and I feel I’m attracting better people in my life because of this realization.
I experience ALL OF THESE
I was shocked to read that empaths make up only 5% of the population! I assumed because I am an empath (or HSP) that there must be many more out there. Reading that 95% of the population isn’t empathic makes me feel a little relieved. I’ve always felt out of sorts with the majority of folks, assuming they are picking up on the same emotional cues that I see everywhere and yet they act like they don’t- and now I realize they actually don’t pick up on the same things I do. They don’t feel the way I do. Trying to fit in all these years has been a waste of time. I’m not the majority and trying to look normal is exhausting. Thank you for articles like this that give the 5% a place to feel we are not alone. All I heard growing up was that I was “too sensitive”. Here I find out it’s actually a rare superpower!
I too am amazed at %5…I think it is more however most completely bury it… Also I am positive that Empathy is Telepathy unperfected…My empathetic power grows expotentialy now that I have allowed and nourished my abilities and attained heart,mind,body coherence…
What do you mean empathy is telepathy in disguise?
I am an Empath. I appreciate this content and wish to explore further accepting my natural abilities as a gift. Until recently, I just thought everyone felt the things I did and were better at managing it all. I have every sign, symptom and ability discussed here. It must be a gift if only 5 % of people have it. That shocked me. I thought it was many more because I know so many. Thank you very much for this information.
I just cant believe its only 5% . My children also are Empathetic as well. Does anyone else feel like we are a huge magnet ?
Thank from Laverne Dutka