The Wounded Achiever: 3 Ways of Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

You have a secret – a hidden, dark secret:

Deep down, you’re a fake, a fraud, and a liar.

At least, that’s how you feel.

If you can relate to the fear of being “found out” that you’re not as smart, competent, successful, wise, or even as spiritual as others think you are, you’re in good company. 

Studies have shown that up to 80% of people have felt imposter syndrome at least once in their life.

And while there’s a lot of typical advice out there on developing ‘positive self-talk’ and keeping a ‘success file’ – which can help – I’m taking a different route.

As someone who has experienced imposter syndrome to an excruciating degree, I’m going to share what has actually helped me.

Not only that, but I’m going to argue that overcoming imposter syndrome can actually be simpler than you think. It all depends on your perception.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter syndrome, also known as impostorism, is the experience of believing that one is secretly an incapable, fraudulent, and deficient phony. 

Those with imposter syndrome believe that their success or status is due to luck or other external factors, and not their own hard work or virtuous qualities. 

13 Signs You’re Suffering From Imposter Syndrome 

How many of these signs can you relate to?

1. You secretly feel like a fraud 
2. You have unrealistically high standards for yourself (perfectionism)
3. You struggle to accept praise from others
4. You believe that your achievements are due to external factors only
5. You feel chronically inadequate and “not good enough”
6. You tend to overwork as a result of feeling unworthy
7. You’re scared of secretly being “found out” that you’re not all you seem to be
8. You may sabotage your success via procrastination or avoidance
9. You’re self-effacing and you tend to minimize yourself around others
10. You feel like you don’t belong around people who share similar values, work, or accomplishments
11. You decline new opportunities out of fear and feelings of inadequacy
12. You’re constantly comparing yourself to others
13. You feel intensely nervous being watched, judged, or evaluated in any way 

My Experience With Imposter Syndrome

True story: whenever anyone asks me “what I do” in real life conversations, I feel a pit of dread and anxiety emerge within me. 

The immediate subconscious thought that fires through my brain is “How do I evade the question and downplay what I do?” 

“I don’t want them to judge me and see that I’m a big old fraud who isn’t spiritual enough to be doing the kind of work that I do.”

And there’s some level of truth to these feelings.

No, I’m not the most spiritual person in the world. I haven’t got a perfectly high vibrational diet. I don’t do juice cleanses. I don’t go on meditation retreats. I don’t travel to exotic lands to engage in special rituals. I haven’t backpacked around India or visited gurus.

Heck, I don’t even like being around most spiritual people (at least the stereotypical mala-bead-wearing-boho-yoga-crystal kind). 

I’m more of a down-to-earth spiritual person who likes nature walks, reading books, journaling, and other everyday practices.

Another thing that triggers my imposter syndrome is comparing myself to others in the spiritual field. Like, why am I not offering 1:1 consultations, retreats, or things like that?

The inner imposter tells me, “You should be doing these. You should be more accomplished and visible than what you are. It has been over ten years for Christ’s sake.”

But then, a wiser and more compassionate part of myself realizes that I’m a major introvert. I dislike group settings, and therefore find the idea of hosting a retreat horrid. I don’t attend retreats, so why would I want to host one? Um, no thank you.

I’ve also been asked many times through the years whether I provide 1:1 sessions. The answer is no, I don’t. Sometimes I offer personal tarot readings and I also provide weekly intuitive guidance for my beloved Shadow & Light members. But I’m not in a place to physically, mentally, or emotionally offer anything else.

I’m not a therapist – and neither do I want to be (mad respect to those who regularly work directly with traumatized and suffering people). 

I’m a writer, educator, and intuitive guide, and I like the kind of healthy distance that creates. Who knows, maybe one day that will change? Maybe I’ll change? Maybe not. 

But the greatest joy for me comes through being a creator, healer, and alchemist through the written word. And I like it that way.

The Hidden Gift of Imposter Syndrome

Yes, imposter syndrome can trick you into believing false things about yourself (aka., being “unworthy” or living as a “fraud”) and therefore be negative and destructive.

But the gift hidden is that it can also present you with inconvenient truths about yourself, offering you an invitation to find more self-acceptance and self-sovereignty. 

Take the example I offered above – yes, I’m not a stereotypically “spiritual person.” But that’s what makes my work more accessible, grounded, and down-to-earth.

No, I don’t offer zoom calls or in-person sessions like other people in this field. But that’s because I’m not called to do that. Instead, I’m called to offer a light in this world through writing and intuitive guidance.

Imposter syndrome is obviously unhealthy. But as psychoanalyst Carl Jung once pointed out, “the shadow is ninety percent pure gold.”

In other words, this shadow quality of believing that we’re a phony deep down can actually possess hidden goodness and possibilities for heightened self-knowledge.

So what is the gold hidden within your imposter syndrome shadow? You might like to take some time contemplating that question.

Another question you can ask yourself is, “What inconvenient truth might imposter syndrome be presenting me that I now have the rare opportunity to embrace radically?”

To find that hidden truth, you first need to do a bit of clarification, known in spiritual alchemy as Calcination, Dissolution, and Separation – or disidentifying from this energy and becoming more self-aware.  

The Shadow of Worthiness: 3 Ways of Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Again, I’m not interested in taking the traditional route when it comes to healing imposter syndrome. 

There are enough articles and videos out there already offering regurgitated advice on “practicing positive self-talk,” separating feelings from facts, and so on. 

The problem with this approach is that if you don’t go to the root of imposter syndrome, all of these surface actions will make very little difference. 

So here’s what I recommend instead on overcoming imposter syndrome little by little, using the first three stages of spiritual alchemy:

1. Break it Down

In spiritual alchemy, the first stage of transformation is known as Calcination, which involves identifying and breaking down the parts of ourselves that are in the way of our happiness.

To do this with imposter syndrome, I strongly recommend getting to know this inner shadow:

• Write about how it appears in your life
• Explore how it makes you feel
• Go into depth examining all the thoughts, behaviors, and missed opportunities it has created

To move through and transmute this energy, you need to be intimately aware of how it appears in your life. So face the pain, name it, and feel it.

2. Disidentify With It

This is known in spiritual alchemy as Dissolution, which is the second stage of transformation where we learn to melt and dissolve our false identifications. 

When it comes to imposter syndrome, you need to become aware of what part within your psyche is responsible for these feelings and patterns. 

Various forms of psychological theory call these parts ‘subpersonalities’ and ‘complexes’ – but here I’ll just stick with the internal family systems language of ‘parts.’

To make it easy for you, I’ve identified the likely culprit (but feel free to double check within yourself). The part usually responsible for imposter syndrome is The Wounded Achiever. 

At some point in life, due to childhood trauma, family expectations, conditioning, or some other reason, you developed a hyperactive Achiever part. 

This aspect of you overcompensates for its feeling of inner inadequacy by overworking and trying to ‘prove’ that it’s worthy and therefore lovable. 

But the tragic catch is that it never can find that feeling of worth because it’s constantly seeking validation and approval from the outside, yet feels fundamentally flawed inside.

The solution here is to recognize that the Wounded Achiever who is responsible for your feelings of imposter syndrome is a PART of you but is NOT the whole of you.

In other words, you need to dissolve your attachment to this part – or disidentify with it.

One of the best ways I’ve found to do this is to personify this aspect of your psyche. Give it a face, a name, a voice, and a personality. 

The more deeply you can relate to this Wounded Achiever part from a place of curiosity and compassion, the more likely you are to disidentify from it.

3. Create and Find More Inner Space

In alchemy, this is known as the Separation stage of transformation, where you’re allowing the unhappy thoughts and feelings within to separate and bubble to the surface of your consciousness, while being aware of them.

Think of oil added to water – it sits on the top, easily visible. This is the idea and image we’re working with here.

Disidentifying with the Wounded Achiever by seeing that it is a part of you but not the whole of you is fine and great. But this realization will be short lived unless you cultivate more inner space.

The practice here is two-fold: both actively seeking to create more inner space and also passively recognizing that greater space already exists within you as a backdrop to your life experience. This backdrop is known as Consciousness or the Divine Self.

Actively creating more inner space comes through practices like meditation, contemplation, and the three S’s that I like to talk about: silence, stillness, and solitude. 

Passively finding more inner space is about noticing that awareness is always already here and present, without you needing to do anything whatsoever. Open-ended meditation is a great way to recognize this. 

The question, “Can you turn off consciousness right now?” is also another helpful way of showing you that no matter how hard you try, you can’t turn off consciousness in the moment – it’s always there, before you doing anything. (Go on, try it!) 

Being able to separate the contents of consciousness from a place of awareness – in this case, the energy of the Wounded Achiever and all the thoughts and feelings that come from that part – will help you find more freedom.

A Note on Being Realistic, Persistent, and Patient

What I’m sharing above isn’t a quick-and-dirty fix. It’s a spiritual practice that takes patience, persistence, and a good dose of realism.

Don’t expect that overcoming imposter syndrome – like any mental malady – will come at the click of your fingers or the tap of your toes. 

The point here is to:

(a) find the gold within the shadow of imposter syndrome (what gift is it presenting to you?), thereby befriending this energy without demonizing or rejecting it, which makes it even more persistent, and,

(b) learn to notice, disidentify from, and let this energy pass through your awareness so that it no longer overtakes and consumes you.

That’s it.

I hope this exploration has been of help to you. If so, let me know below!

What has been your experience with imposter syndrome? What have you learned? I try my best to read and respond to as many comments as possible.