My first insight into the feeling of being internally old occurred during adolescence.
I felt unusually different from the kids around me, somehow older, but ‘mature’ wasn’t exactly the right word. The best way I could describe it back then was as though I had lived hundreds of years of life which had been condensed into 16 years of time.
As the years went by, I encountered a few Old Souls who I shared my experiences with. I would talk about my insights and introduce them to the concept of Old Souls. One of these people was Luna. She was so excited about it that she eventually wrote the well-received article 9 Signs You’re An Old Soul as well as a subsequent Old Soul Book.
In my years of mentoring Old Souls and helping them through their spiritual development, I’ve witnessed a number of issues. I want to mention that it’s important to remember that having an Old Soul doesn’t necessarily equate to being ‘all-knowing’ or perfect. Rather, it’s an indication of the age of the energy known as your soul. With that being said, these are some of the biggest problems I’ve seen, and personally experienced:
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1# You’re a Social Outcast
As with anyone who perceives the world differently from others, Old Souls can experience a great (and unending) sense of isolation. Because they fail to fit into the standards that society admires and values (careers, materialism, status and so forth), they’re commonly seen as strange, offbeat and unconventional.
2# You’re the “Black Sheep”
While Old Souls can build many strong relationships with people, their penetrating ability to connect with the depths of the people in their lives can create many enemies. Seeing deeply into the core issues of the people around them, Old Souls feel an innate desire to be truthful, even if this means revealing uncomfortable truths such as the fact that many problems are caused by immaturity, or a failure to take responsibility.
Those who are willing to change will listen and like you, while the rest will feel great disdain towards you. This is why Old Souls often become the “devils advocates” or “black sheep” of their friends or family.
3# You Often Get Mislabeled
If there’s something we all love and are good at, it’s labeling people. We fool ourselves into thinking we can “know” someone by attributing a label to them. However, humans are far too complex to be boxed into a specific and unchanging group of people. In this case, Old Souls will often be given different labels, from “beatniks” to “hippies”, “anarchists” to “new age freaks“.
While you can’t fight labels, you can try to use them in a positive way. Labels can be used as signposts, as directions towards awareness of some quality many of us share. These qualities will be different in intensity and strength in each of us, but at least they will help us understand ourselves (and the people around us) a bit better.
This is partly why I called the Old Soul Group “I’m an Old Soul” – not so people can gain egotistical pride with such a label, but to create a sense of self-awareness, to allow people to better understand themselves.
4# You Speak an Entirely Different Language
Words are symbols we each load with our own unique definitions according to our own unique life experiences that are associated with each word. What I associate with love might be entirely different from what you associate with love. For example: When someone thinks about love, they might remember their old failed relationship and feel a terrible sense of vulnerability when the word arises, while others might associate love with loyalty and friendship.
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Old Souls realize this limitation, and therefore greatly struggle to express entirely what they want to say, knowing that it’s as though they are speaking an entirely different language from others.
5# You Are Prone to Intense Existential Crises
I have sometimes witnessed cases where Old energy is born into the body of a person who does not have the matching mental maturity to embrace it. This can result in depressions, substance abuse and existential crisis’s.
When a person realizes that everything is transitional and passing, life can become pointless. This person sees that our bodies are temporary vessels that don’t really matter, and without the ability to cultivate self-love, self-destructive habits can result.
In this case, it’s necessary to undergo intense spiritual-growth, to cultivate existential meaning and inner-understanding through inner work in order to learn how to embrace your soul.
6# You Easily Become Emotionally Drained
With the wisdom and patience that comes with being an Old Soul, there also comes others people’s desire to use you as a dumping ground for their emotions. I’ve experienced this a lot in my own life, often experiencing emotionally-charged conversations that last for hours at a time. Some Old Souls also double as Empaths, which can also take a great toll on your energy.
7# You’re Prone to Becoming Mentally Drained
In the search for truth, deeper understanding and inner exploration of yourself and the world around you, it is common for the Old Soul to experience a lot of mental fatigue. Double this with acting as a mediator between people and their problems, and you’ll end up exhausted at the end of the day.
#8 You Struggle to Find a Kindred Spirit
If making friends who connect with you is difficult, finding a kindred spirit, soul mate, or life partner, can be even more of a challenge. It took me living in 6 different countries to find Luna.
But it’s not always as hard as that. Having the wisdom to discern the true depths of your connection with a person will be your greatest asset in the area of love.
#9 You’re Crippled By Possibilities
As we grow in maturity our perception of possibilities and explanations expands: we see life from limitless angles. This means that we see more than one way of doing things which makes us unfailingly indecisive as we see the full expanse of possibilities, and the lack of absolutes. Although making decisions and judgments can be a crippling experience, this can double as a virtue, allowing us to understand that we can’t simply judge people by face value, and that they are the result of millions of internal and external influences.
#10 You Yearn For a Place to Belong
For some Old Souls, the world feels alien. They find it hard to understand people, why such chaos and misery exists and how it is allowed, and sometimes encouraged, to continue. They long to find a place where they feel like they belong, a space filled with freedom and liberation. This often results in the feeling that this world is not their true home.
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Regardless of which of the above problems you may come across, these struggles will affect your life a lot less when you grow in inner understanding and acceptance.
The stronger your ability to channel and use the Old energy that is latent within you, the greater your capacity will be to aid in the continuation and evolution of your soul.
Please feel free to share your experiences below.
There was something almost mysterious about this woman. Her face had lots of wrinkles. These were the first things to catch your eye, but they didn’t make her look old. Instead, they emphasized a certain youthfulness in her that transcended age. The wrinkles belonged where they were, as if they had been part of her face since birth. When she smiled, the wrinkles smiled with her; when she frowned, the wrinkles frowned, too. And when she was neither smiling nor frowning, the wrinkles lay scattered over her face in a strangely warm, ironic way. ~ Haruki Murakami (Norwegian Wood)
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I am not trying to show that I think I am advanced. Modesty is very important. It is just what I am seeing and feeling
I really want to be an old soul because I am tired. World seems small and I think I have got to the point or will get to the point of knowledge that I can move on. I hope, because while I feel I understand the way the world works and different walks of life, idealistic concepts like world peace and no suffering does not seem to be the goal of this life. I seem to be able to channel energy for myself as in guide my life with the use of energy, but I ask myself what is the point when it doesn’t seem to make a difference in the grand scheme of things. I have come to the realization that the world is not intended to change but to teach and I really want to know what. I know that challenge is needed to exercise free will. But i want to know what it is all for. I can go on, but I hope you understand where I am going with this. The thought of doing this over again is exhausting, so I am trying to get there in this life I hope.
Hola Melisa,
This soul age journey is quite long and tedious at times, you’ll enter stumbling blocks and moments of frustration when leaving one soul age and entering another so it’s understandable if you are experiencing that.
Those idealistic concepts of world peace are only idealist in the way they are approached. We cannot talk about love, and spreading love, when nobody will be receptive to that love. First immense effort must be undergone to rid ourselves from all our cultural programming, our beliefs, ideals and values that we’ve inherited. Only then, when we are empty, blank, can we spread and receive love and unity from the forces around us.
To want to know the purpose of life, is to want to steal away the mystery, the beauty of existing. What’s the point of health? What’s the point of happiness? Other than the actual experience of happiness, the experience of health, life itself is valued by it’s own experience; it’s only the restless mind that is going to send you in search for “why’s” and “how’s”.
To do this over and over will be exhausting only while your soul is further aging, there comes a point when you reach a stage of growth itself, where existing is a never ending blissful feeling, and your presence, your essence, radiates significance. That has nothing to do with the minds need for answers.
When i took the old soul test i got 80%. I just turned 20 and don’t think I am an old soul yet, but i definitely feel like a mature soul. I’m emotional and neurotic and always questioning life and why people do things to me, others, and why people act a certain way with others. And i’m obsessed with listening to spirituality tapes and looking up websites like this to find out who i am and how i should view life. I feel so overwhelmed and i’m always in my head trying to figure out situations. I find it excruciatingly hard to make friends my own age. I tend to distance myself from people who i feel are very childish, which feel like majority of the people my age. Most of the girls my age are very petty, like to gossip, and like to be in cliques and crush other girls’ feelings. Most guys my age only are interested in sleeping with as many girls as possible and are not interested in mature relationships like me. I feel like a 35 year old in a 20 year old body and its just very uncomfortable and I end up spending a lot of my time alone and i don’t like it because well…ironically i LOVE being around people and making new friends, i’d just rather them be people who are happy and excited about life and like themselves. I want to be around people who i can learn from, and unfortunately people the people my age, i have built ZERO tolerance for people who enter my life who act very young and corrupt, which i feel is why its been hard for me to make friends because a lot of 19 and 20 year olds to me seem that way. My mothers side of the family is very intuitive, i have a few mediums in my family, and I’ve been told by many spiritual readers that i am partially empathic as well as very intuitive, so its normal for me to feel awkward around people my age. How can i make friends easier like this? How can i find the people out there like me? I tend to take a lot of peoples actions personally and care way too much about how others think of me. I know this the overly sensitive neurotic part of me. Please help!
Hola Ash,
I applaud your honesty in determining that you feel your a late mature soul instead of an old soul, it takes great humility and maturity to not jump to the extreme end.
Our whole work on LonerWolf and Involution is to help and encourage our readers to question the way they perceive life, to change the way they influence life and life influences them.
At your age it is difficult; when you’re driven by energetic desires to have fun and seek stimuli, to be accepted by your peers and be understood by them, why would you care about learning to enjoy your own solitary company? learning to develop a sense of self worth that is grounded in yourself, in your self-love, and not in the opinions of what the people think around you?
There’s three path’s you can follow, and it’s up to you to pick which one has the most heart.
The first one is to keep pretending to be something you’re not, to enjoy socializing with these people that you truly don’t feel any connection towards.
The second one is to seek to change the way you interact with life. Self-Acceptance of who you are and what you are like, exploring yourself to find what passion truly makes you happy and learning to enjoy your own company in solitude. When the right time comes, the people who you can connect with and are meant to be with will enter your life.
The third option is a bit simpler, but of less personal significance. Seek people that will understand you right now as you are and with the interest you have. This requires you to change your habits of where you meet people. Usually none of us go out of our ways to meet our friends, they happen through work or school or because they are friends of friends and we meet at social gathers. All these places will only allow you to meet the same type of people. Think differently; joining artistic classes, joining spiritual groups, befriending people that are older than you at public places (libraries, parks, coffee shops), and frequenting interesting events like poetry readings, book signings etc.. Even the internet with groups from meetup.com or communities like ours allow you to stumble across people similar to you.
Let me know how you progress through this.
This is great i really do like option 2. Along with that, I have a question about “Self-Acceptance” and how you said “to seek to change the way you interact with life.” I feel like i am a very fun and happy person, and sometimes i wonder how someone like me doesn’t have as many friends as i could, but i know its because after going through many different friends and situations throughout high school (which i actually loved…it was a little difficult at times but i had a lot of fun) I’ve began to cut out social nonsense. I created the vibe for myself that id rather be alone then with bad company. So i find myself alone a lot. But how do i learn how to accept myself a bit more and feel more confident about who i really am? What are some exercises that you used to become more comfortable with yourself? Sometimes i just want to be around people and be social and i get anxious when i haven’t been socializing for long periods of time…..i am a bit frazzled with who i am and what I’m about, and I’m also a people pleaser at the same time and i feel like asserting myself will make me seem very mean towards the people my age who don’t necessarily understand me.
If you are experiencing anxiety and discomfort from spending time alone without socializing for long periods of time, there is still some work that has to be done. Only if you are truly happy in your own company can you have something to offer others, your friends as well. Otherwise, you’re using your friends as a tool, as an instrument; to get away from your anxiety of being alone.
If you are poor alone, it means your own company isn’t enough to entertain yourself, how is it to entertain others? Only when you have immense richness of being, of presence, can you be with other people, and they can experience your inner wealth and actually benefit from it, be charmed or magnetized by it.
We’ve written extensively on Self-Acceptance (https://lonerwolf.com/involution-self-love/ , https://lonerwolf.com/authenticity/, https://lonerwolf.com/low-self-esteem/, https://lonerwolf.com/shadow-self) But it isn’t the only aspect to worry about, Self-Acceptance comes interconnected with a few other layers of yourself that also need to be worked on simultaneously to integrate your findings of self-exploration and self-discovery (we call this “Involution” which you can read about here https://lonerwolf.com/involution).
Hope that answers your question :)
Just read this post and had to commend you for mentioning and realizing how beneficial it is to befriend older people. If you’re an older soul, this should not feel strange or uncomfortable. In fact you should feel drawn to anyone who possesses wisdom. I heard someone on TV say that young people today have intelligence but no wisdom. Of course that is not everyone but the “lone wolves” are probably in the minority but they may be the “wisdom keepers”. I think it is wisdom that sensitive individuals are craving because that is lacking right now in our culture. Your advice was wise to think differently and not follow “the “crowd”. Perhaps that is one’s evolutionary test for this particular lifetime.
Hola Alice,
I whole heartedly agree with that; our new generations seek intelligence more than wisdom. Wisdom is of much more depth, of much more substance than intelligence but it requires immense inner work.
Intelligence is to play with ideas, to be creative but it does not fulfill the deepest craters of our being, our soul, because it lacks that sensitivity.
Lone Wolves have that space that is necessary to cultivate wisdom. Not all Lone Wolves may be wise, but a significant portion of them are because they have found the inner richness within them and don’t depend on others company to avoid any negative feelings of loneliness. They have the freedom to choose to befriend older and wiser people, not because they need to but because they want to.
The mere fact they became lone wolves is often because their wisdom clashed with their peers ‘intelligent’ yet vacuous behaviors. I look forward to writing further on the necessity of wisdom over intelligence in the future :)
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I almost cried while reading your comment, I feel exactly the same. I’m a 16-year-old girl and I thought I was the only one feeling like that. Thank you.
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This was a very nice read and I can see myself in the situation you are right now, I struggled with that neurotic part of me for over six years and I’m still not quite close to controlling that part of me..although I’ve gotten a lot better, thanks to certain people I’ve met in my life and my own effort. AL-though due to that part in me I have ruined most beautiful of friendships ,with mature or older souls and thats made me more sadder than ever…but lets just say… maybe they weren’t mature souls after all and I just ended up seeing them for who they aren’t ..maybe I cant read people at all..and you know, every-time I do say that my intuition tends to slap me in the face saying : “you can read people but you always ignore my hints!”. well hahah..anyway thankyou… for the comment…
I so deeply identify. I struggle every day; I don’t know how to communicate with my family, have rare true friendships. I speak as if I have lived endless lifetimes, I feel existentially tired. People around me don’t understand my language, so I have become lonely. I am not even twenty, yet I do not enjoy the entertainment those my own age live for. I enjoy speaking to friends double and triple my age. I get into crippling existential crises. I have a certain rare maturity about me; at the same time I can act and feel quite immaturely. I feel fundamentally different from others (which I have come to appreciate) and when I do meet another soul like mine, the connection is deep.
Hola Chana,
Our youthful years are perhaps the worst for Old Souls. It is a time when we have no choice or control over who we can socialize with, our lives revolve around school or work and our options of meeting people are limited.
My main advice to you from someone who has already been there is wait; learn to enjoy your own company, read up on spiritual work and apply it so it allows you to transcend your existential crises by shifting your perspective and use the wisdom and insight an Old Soul has of being able to see the transience of anything.
I’m only 26 but most of my friends and a lot of our Involution students are almost double my age. When you wait for the right people to enter your life age will only be a number that doesn’t reflect the true connection you experience.
And don’t worry about feeling immature sometimes. There is a difference between a childish person and child like one. Childish people are full of immature behavior without any foresight of the consequences. Child-like people resemble the sense of wander, of awe, of a child. Childish is negative, Child-Like is positive.
Wonderful! Thank you.
Thank you :)
I have been down lately but reading this has made me feel so much better, it’s nice to not feel so alone all of the time. I was always an old soul, and I was headed to a great spiritual path until a horrible incident happened in my mid-teens that I mentally and emotionally couldn’t handle at the time. Sadly, because of the toll it took on me I turned to hard drugs, and have been on and off prescribed opiates for fifteen years now. I’m still spiritual but I sleep a lot, which connects me to my past lives while I dream. I haven’t been fully living though. I’m 30 now and slept through most of my 20’s. My soul can’t fully embrace life this way, and I’m getting ready to enter treatment for a few months so that I can take the spiritual path I was meant to lead. At the same time, I know all of this happened for a reason. I was meant to live this particular life of suffering, maybe to really understand true peace and help others who don’t want to suffer alone. We have a few things in common. my parents came to America from Croatia before I was born… amazingly beautiful country. I’m an INTP, which is similar to INTJ. I’m also very much into astrology. I like to read charts for few friends and family. Charting Stars and Planets has been around since the beginning of time, and the magnetic fields of earth in conjunction with these massive entities’ magnetic fields absolutely have an effect on the invisible specs of the universe known as humans. I’m a libra-scorpio cusp, Venus in virgo, mars in virgo, moon in Taurus, and so on… I like in depth astrology with not just the sun signs involved, but I’m still studying. Thank you for this article, I look forward to reading more. I’m about to go into some very tough times but I’m ready to heal, and I know my soul will be free.
Hola Sally,
Some of the greatest souls had very turbulent youths, but it’s in that struggle, in that immense friction that is create, that a fire alights and burns brighter than ever.
My own mother had a similar struggle, born with a great spiritual depth but psychologically not prepared to embody that depth which drove her toward the wrong paths of drug abuse and self-destruction.
I admire your decision to try and change, to leave that half-awake lukewarm state of living, where you add an additional layer, a buffer, between existence and your beautiful being.
Astrology is a wonderful tool when used rightly; you’re doing well in exploring the additional moon signs as well as the suns as a balance of both of them is what truly can capture your essence and its influences.
Feel free to let us know about your progress, or if you need any help.
from an early age i always felt different , not in an elitist way , from a troubled dysfunctional background I leaned the environment i was bought up in left me feeling alien to something i did not quite feel was right , having an experience of being placed like a round peg into a square hole. like a pinball i ricocheted through life gathering experience and wisdom , a rapid awaking almost overnight revealed to myself that i was a very old soul indeed , bringing into my existence a core of unconditional love for all , a birds eye view of my existence in this form showed despite all challenges , all trials , all hurts and E.motions left me with not a why me syndrome or bitterness at the lack of love received or the oppression but an unconditional love and understanding of all , to be able to see what animates another to reflect their own hurt on others , their ignorance of feeling towards others . compassion grew like a lotus flower within . I am a loner who observes without judgment , who compassionately proffers that unconditional love with no thought of reward or gain, knowing that i am above none or below , knowing that we are all , one , and patiently waiting for the next evolutionary step . some take the lonely path less trodden , some know they are simply a beacon of light that does not want to dazzle others but gently shine hope , peace , love and unity in a quiet compassionate way. each new day brings that opportunity. where one once shed tears over the insane mentality of suffering and malady of this world, one see’s for everything a reason , each on their own path of learning and discovery , wisdom shouts – never add fuel to an already burning fire . an old soul knows thought is the fuel that precedes action , anger with anger begets ? the mind and the tongue the most powerful tools bestowed upon living beings . the heart the antidote to all that induces fear , to heal the world without, one must heal within ,letting go of the fuel ( thought) that the feeds the fires of all that which cankers ones soul and growth . I am an old soul , full of hope , joy and very grateful for ALL, despite human foibles because i know i am no saint either, mindful of every step taken in this life time.
It’s by no coincidence that often we are put in environments that challenge us to struggle, to polish our mirrors with friction and see our true clear reflection afterwards. I’m happy to you survived and became stronger by the experience.
That’s one of the most important discoveries an Old Soul experiences, the deep compassion and understanding of others. It’s hard to hold grudges or get upset with people when you realize that we are all on different phases of our spiritual aging journey, that some are still the victims of victims, others are frustrated with their isolation and awakening, and yet others are centered and fully in control of their lives and totality of who the are.
Thank you once more for sharing, in a wonderful way, you struggles and findings through your own ever growing path :)
Thank you for this lovely site , its nice to know many can relate , it is like entering the eye of the chaotic worldly storm , peaceful , a place to uplift , and be up lifted a pace to relate and elate.
Thank you
Hi, thanks for writing that. I guess I’m another one. For me, my love of truth has always been a barrier to understanding the people around me.
I suppose I’m a modern alchemist, a science and logic geek, I seek to understand rather than to believe. Recently, I have learned that this attitude is also known as scepticism. Started looking a little deeper into philosophy, found some useful tour guides written by great minds of the past.
Eureka, suddenly everything is different but nothing has changed. Another awakening, another step forwards, a brief glimpse of the path ahead. How to share this inner vision in a world of blind men?
Maybe I’m not so alone in this after all :D
Hola AncientChild,
I’m also a promoter of experience and not belief. I don’t like encouraging things or giving myself discussions to ease my pain.
I admire science immensely, realizing for example that there’s not a simple atom that has been added or removed from this universe since the dawn of time is something that is awe inspiring.
It furthers the experience of Old Souls, realizing that our conscious energy never disappears, it is simply transformed. The maturity of souls I see everyday manifested in the decisions, or lack of decisions that we all make. Why we choose what we do, why some awaken while others remain asleep.
But always be mindful that science has never answered any question. It has found deeper ways to understand how things work, describe them, but it never answers they why. “Why did the big bang theory occur?” , “Well, because this atom and this atom collided, creating a …” , “but why did they collide?”, “because ….” times infinitum.
The answers will never be found in philosophy or science, they just describe it beautifully in a logical way. The answers will never come in words, but that’s something you will have to experience for yourself and not depend on believing in me.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment :)
We shared the same path. I started studting and dealing with mysteries as early as 10 years old…
Hola leo,
I look forward to seeing more of our paths entwine in the future, and sharing with each other some of these mysteries.
So I’m an old soul. That’s it. This article really resonates with me. I never thought its just that I am an old soul. But it gets extremely lonely being like this. I have this feeling all the time that I am wasting my life and that I have a burning need to get out of my skin. Don’t know how to put that in words. Thats just the best I can describe it.
Hola Zehra,
Perhaps your struggle is a matter of finding a path with meaning in your life?
Old Souls by nature can become easily alienated because of their own innate instinct to find a substantial pursuit, something that is filled with heart and feels fulfilling.
If you don’t listen closely to that inner voice, you end up distracted by activities that don’t fill you with meaning and consequently you feel disconnected from everyone and everything you do.
Ask yourself what would be something that would inspire you and fulfill you?