My first insight into the feeling of being internally old occurred during adolescence.
I felt unusually different from the kids around me, somehow older, but ‘mature’ wasn’t exactly the right word.ย The best way I could describe it back then was as though I had lived hundreds of years of life which had been condensed into 16 years of time.
As the years went by, I encountered a few Old Souls who I shared my experiences with.ย I would talk about my insights and introduce them to the concept of Old Souls.ย One of these people was Luna.ย She was so excited about it that she eventually wrote the well-received article 9 Signs You’re An Old Soul as well as a subsequent Old Soul Book.
In my years of mentoring Old Souls and helping them through their spiritual development, I’ve witnessed a number of issues. I want to mention that it’s important to remember thatย having an Old Soul doesn’t necessarily equate to being ‘all-knowing’ or perfect.ย Rather, it’s an indication of the age of the energy known as your soul. With that being said, these are some of the biggest problems I’ve seen, and personally experienced:
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1#ย You’re a Social Outcast
As with anyone who perceives the world differently from others, Old Souls can experience a great (and unending) sense of isolation.ย Because they fail to fit into the standards that society admires and values (careers, materialism, status and so forth), they’re commonly seen as strange, offbeat and unconventional.
2#ย You’re the “Black Sheep”
While Old Souls can build many strong relationships with people, their penetrating ability to connect with the depths of the people in their lives can create many enemies.ย Seeing deeply into the core issues of the people around them, Old Souls feel an innate desire to be truthful, even if this means revealing uncomfortable truths such as the fact that many problems are caused by immaturity, or a failure to take responsibility.
Those who are willing to change will listen and like you, while the rest will feel great disdain towards you.ย This is why Old Souls often become the “devils advocates” or “black sheep” of their friends or family.
3#ย You Often Get Mislabeled
If there’s something we all love and are good at, it’s labeling people.ย We fool ourselves into thinking we can “know” someone by attributing a label to them.ย However, humans are far too complex to be boxed into a specific and unchanging group of people.ย In this case, Old Souls will often be given different labels, from “beatniks” to “hippies”, “anarchists” to “new age freaks“.
While you can’t fight labels, you can try to use them in a positive way.ย Labels can be used as signposts, as directions towards awareness of some quality many of us share.ย These qualities will be different in intensity and strength in each of us, but at least they will help us understand ourselves (and the people around us) a bit better.
This is partly why I called the Old Soul Group “I’m an Old Soul” – not so people can gain egotistical pride with such a label, but to create a sense of self-awareness, to allow people to better understand themselves.
4# You Speak an Entirely Different Language
Words are symbols we each load with our own unique definitions according to our own unique life experiences that are associated with each word.ย What I associate with love might be entirely different from what you associate with love.ย For example: When someone thinks about love, they might remember their old failed relationship and feel a terrible sense of vulnerability when the word arises, while others might associate love with loyalty and friendship.
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Old Souls realize this limitation, and therefore greatly struggle to express entirely what they want to say, knowing that it’s as though they are speaking an entirely different language from others.
5#ย You Are Prone to Intense Existential Crises
I have sometimes witnessed cases where Old energy is born into the body of a person who does not have the matching mental maturity to embrace it.ย This can result in depressions, substance abuse and existential crisis’s.
When a person realizes that everything is transitional and passing, life can become pointless.ย This person sees that our bodies are temporary vessels that don’t really matter, and without the ability to cultivate self-love, self-destructive habits can result.
In this case, it’s necessary to undergo intense spiritual-growth, to cultivate existential meaning and inner-understanding through inner work in order to learn how to embrace your soul.
6#ย You Easily Become Emotionally Drained
With the wisdom and patience that comes with being an Old Soul, there also comes others people’s desire to use you as a dumping ground for their emotions.ย I’ve experienced this a lot in my own life, often experiencing emotionally-charged conversations that last for hours at a time.ย Some Old Souls also double as Empaths, which can also take a great toll on your energy.
7#ย You’re Prone to Becoming Mentally Drained
In the search for truth, deeper understanding and inner exploration of yourself and the world around you, it is common for the Old Soul to experience a lot of mental fatigue.ย Double this with acting as a mediator between people and their problems, and you’ll end up exhausted at the end of the day.
#8ย You Struggle to Find a Kindred Spirit
If making friends who connect with you is difficult, finding a kindred spirit, soul mate, or life partner, can be even more of a challenge.ย It took me living in 6 different countries to find Luna.
But it’s not always as hard as that.ย Having the wisdom to discern the true depths of your connection with a person will be your greatest asset in the area of love.
#9ย You’re Crippled By Possibilities
As we grow in maturity our perception of possibilities and explanations expands: we see life from limitless angles.ย This means that we see more than one way of doing things which makes us unfailingly indecisive as we see the full expanse of possibilities, and the lack of absolutes. Although making decisions and judgments can be a crippling experience, this can double as a virtue, allowing us to understand that we can’t simply judge people by face value, and that they are the result of millions of internal and external influences.
#10ย You Yearn For a Place to Belong
For some Old Souls, the world feels alien.ย They find it hard to understand people, why such chaos and misery exists and how it is allowed, and sometimes encouraged, to continue. They long to find a place where they feel like they belong, a space filled with freedom and liberation.ย This often results in the feeling that this world is not their true home.
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Regardless of which of the above problems you may come across, these struggles will affect your life a lot less when you grow in inner understanding and acceptance.
The stronger your ability to channel and use the Old energy that is latent within you, the greater your capacity will be to aid in the continuation and evolution of your soul.
Please feel free to share your experiences below.
There was something almost mysterious about this woman. Her face had lots of wrinkles. These were the first things to catch your eye, but they didnโt make her look old. Instead, they emphasized a certain youthfulness in her that transcended age. The wrinkles belonged where they were, as if they had been part of her face since birth. When she smiled, the wrinkles smiled with her; when she frowned, the wrinkles frowned, too. And when she was neither smiling nor frowning, the wrinkles lay scattered over her face in a strangely warm, ironic way. ~ Haruki Murakami (Norwegian Wood)
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I do not normally partake in the comments of, well, pretty much any article. However, I have found this intriguing.
Particularly, #5 and #10.
I’ve always considered myself to be an old soul. Before even hearing the words, the concept was known to me at least subconsciously and I never needed explanation.
Many of the things I have found on this site so far (just came across it tonight) have rung quite true to me regarding old souls. I also read briefly about the other soul ages on the site, I definitely associate with the old category and not much with anything else.
Now, to my point, quite a few of these universal problems strike me as younger than old – with 5 and 10 jumping out at me.
5: Existentialism. This word to me was, for quite some time, just some word I heard in passing. One day, I looked it up. I was rather surprised that such a concept even needed name. There are quite possibly things I do not know. However, I have always known that the meaning I give to and find in my life are the most important, and possibly only, value in any given decision or action I take. This extends to those lives I touch, as well, since it is possible to positively affect others. I have never questioned this, despite not having been raised as such.
10: The world does not feel alien to me. I have no issue understanding why things are as they are. Why people do what they do. Perhaps I understand all too well, to the point of boredom. In some cases, understanding feels rather dirty. Since quite a young age, somewhere around 12 years old, I’ve been able to discern patterns of behavior, people, and many things too subtle for words to explain.
If I have a yearn, it is to be surprised. I read people very quickly and accurately. I recall an exercise in college where we picked someone we’d never known before in the class, sit in front of them, look at them for a minute, then answer a set of 20 or so questions about them on paper. I was 100% correct on all answers, this is the most scientific instance of this. Personality traits, hobbies, favorite food types, ect. Often times, I ask questions not for the answer but to spark a thought in the person I’m asking or to dispel the notion that I don’t know.
My small circle of friends consists of those who have grown beyond being completely predictable. However, I have not yet met anyone with my same outlook.
Despite the large amount of predictability, there is still much beauty and joy to be found in this world. I think it likely that there is no limit. Of course, testing that notion may take an eternity. I would not say that I have ever been depressed or anything of the sort, even while going through various hardships. For the most part, I am at peace within myself.
Perhaps my soul is older than old. Perhaps I have some other gifts or traits that grant me a different perception. It is not possible for me to say for sure. I am now 32 years old, physically – it is quite possible that also has something to do with it.
Any thoughts are welcomed. mrboneguy@yahoo.com
Hola Dorian,
You raise a few interesting questions.
When I write about “Old Souls” I write about people who have developed internal maturity that makes them feel different from others. To be able to pin point what stage of soulful evolution someone is in is impossible.
Existentialist feelings comes the moment we grow free from those beliefs we held to be true and absolute for so long, about ourselves and about existence.
It’s natural for someone going through a process of internal growth to start feeling lost, that there is no concrete meaning to existing. This experience has been around for ages, the mystics use to refer to it as the “Dark Night of the Soul”, where you’re becoming aware to your Old Soul nature but you haven’t quite arrived at the level of ‘Awakened Soul’.
The World Feeling Alien: This again goes accompanied with the above feeling. When we become uncertain about ourselves, we also grow uncertain about others, we struggle to understand why they behave the way they do when we have just awoken to being free from our ‘habitual behavior’. Why can’t they awake as well?
The difference between Awakened Souls and Old Souls comes from being free from seeing too far into the behavior of others. Whether they are predictable or they are alien, the ability to be free from living in future based thoughts of others and grounded entirely in the present, is the ultimate of experiences.
The mind is limited to the language we use to describe the world around us, to need to predict others for reassurance or judge them as alien. To be free from that is to reach the mature beyond needing to explain anything. To be in harmony with the present, to flow with it in joy and beauty, is the most delightful of existences.
Soul maturity works in a spectrum; you might be reaching the later stages of it. But there is more; to go beyond the spectrum, to go beyond the sense of individual “I”, is the highest of states.
For me honestly all of these hit home. I have always distanced myself from other people, I just don’t like them, don’t have time for them. I have never felt like I belong here. I’ve always said this is the wrong time frame.
Hola Lauren,
It’s often the case that our thirst to travel to the center of our being feels hindered by other people. We have to put on ‘roles’, be aware of dynamics and read in between the social lines which add additional work to an already arduous path.
They’ll never be a right time frame because maturer souls will always be born ahead of time, hence the dilemma. The secret is to learn to channel your gift, to allow it to guide your life.
Jeez. Life for us old souls could be tough. Although I’m barely 16 as of now, mental weariness seem to permeate to my every core. When many of my peers are all concetrated in their pursuit of the material world and its many (supposed) wonders, I found myself thrusted into a lonely corner where no one could hear our words. The fact that some still could relate to my experience of simply viewing things differently is a refreshing change from the crushing pressure society exerts at us youths and our so-called ambitions.
Hola Joseph,
That is our core message here on LonerWolf; you’re not alone in the way you feel, there are many more of us socially lone wolves out there.
This experience is the breeding ground from immense change, from great improvement for all of us. The moment when we stand by our intuitive views, out Outsiderness helps us come to terms with it and grow to love it.
As we age, this inner strength we develop will help us challenge society in a much more effective way. This Outsiderness will give us the space necessary to find our authentic self free from the influence of others so we can live from that center in the future.
Thank you for sharing your experience Joseph, from one Outsider to another, I can tell you it gets better.
This entire post resonates with me very intensely- I am only 18, and yet I feel as though I have lived numerous years beyond that. I am about to leave high school, and as I reflect on the relationships I have formed during this time, I can’t help but observe the disconnect between me and my peers. Their concerns and interests are not inappropriate and certainly not uncharacteristic of teenagers, but I simply can’t relate. Believe me, I have tried to play the role, indulging as best I can into their habits and ideas of fun. I want to belong somewhere, as you said, but I have since accepted that it’s not with them. Certainly I do not resent them. It has just been difficult.
I often feel as though I have a unique understanding of things. Wisdom, perhaps, wisdom that isn’t normally cultivated without corresponding life experience, something of which I have very little at this point. I also struggle with the juxtaposition of my physiological youth and my spiritual age; I’m still very young, still afflicted by adolescent hormones and frustrations, yet I carry the weight of someone much older. I’m happy, overall- I have an undeniably wonderful, beautiful life. It’s just hard sometimes. This post makes me feel less alone. Thank you for that.
Hola Rachel,
I enjoyed reading your comment as it reflects great maturity in it.
To be able to understand others, to realize they aren’t responsible for how they are and in consequence how it affects your ability to connect to them us essential in your journey.
It is all to easy to hold others accountable, or to hate humanity at large because of the state of the world. But the truth is much more complex than that.
Your ability to introspect and be aware of many of the factors affecting your perception of reality is also great; honesty in realizing hormones effects as well as going through a period in your life which is by its very nature unstable due to your personality still forming, the process of finding out who you are, and having to make decisions that will affect your future.
But you manage to see the beauty in life which is wonderful. My formation years weren’t much better, but I can guarantee that regardless of what happens in the future you’ll begin to feel a sense of belonging and centering in yourself greater than what you feel now.
Warmly,
Sol
The last one – feeling that you do not belong here…everything, word in word as you wrote it – I have felt it. Some long time ago I remember I have had this huge frustration that i seriously cried my heart out because of all the unfairness that happens and that sometimes my head and heart fails to comprehend all the nasty things that are being done to other people and nature also animals.
When I was younger and was in some gatherings I preferred the company of older people, of my parents, grandparents and people their age. In school ( i am 27 now) I was the loner, I never got into the ‘latest trends” and never wanted to. I was harassed about that I was so serious. You could say that at my current age I somewhat start to feel as it fits me. The weird thing is that for my age of 27 I look like minor sometimes to people. I look younger, but I feel older inside. There was a time I felt that the time till now has been like a crash course into experiences and that these years up till now have been like ‘remembering’ things not learning…about spirituality, world…like revising. Feeling I do not need to learn it from a start, just continue…and that I feel I am, with lots of new experiences and lessons.
Hola Ilze,
It is a natural part of being more in tune with our souls to want to return to the wholeness we were separated from along time ago.
One of the biggest milestones of my journey was a complete acceptance for the state of affairs that exists around us. To learn non-resistance is the key ingredient if we want to be able to help others without involving our judgment of them.
That’s a curious thing I’ve noticed as well; to be maturer in soul involves being more aware, more awaken, more in awe and retaining a youthful sense of wonder. It makes us appear young but paradoxically old at the same time.
Warmly,
Sol
I found your site today, and for the first time in my life it seems as though I’ve discovered why I feel so isolated and disconnected to those and the world around me, and have consistently never fit in. I’m 17 and before my first ever real existential crisis a few months ago I’d always been a ‘Mature Soul’ (as I’ve just learnt it’s called): switching too and forth from different lifestyles recreating myself due to not knowing my real self, carrying the constant heavy burden of searching for something that I simply can’t find, a longing for experiences I know will be simply amazing and beautiful but have never really physically seen or heard described, to finally materialize in some way. But now I have seen the reality that life is always moving and we are here for a passing time which gave me the shock to discover my soul and not be afraid of it. I don’t know whether it’s too soon to make assumptions but I’ve read about Old Souls and am beginning to wonder whether the existential crisis has caused me to unlock part of the Old Soul within me, as on so many levels I feel more at peace and far less concerned about materialistic things, and instead of craving possessions I am craving knowledge, understanding and genuine interactions with other souls of a higher intensity.
One thing I’ve noticed when with classmates, work colleagues and the like is whenever a group of us have been talking light heartedly say casting each person with a character from a programme or asking one another to define the individuals personality in a novelty stereotypical way, for example the ‘geek’, the girl everyone wants, the ‘cool guy’ no one has ever been able to say what I am, the response has always been late and very vague and uncertain. This could be that they are far less prejudice than I am admitting to be and I analyze people far too much, or are people like me too unique to define in this way or a completely different reason? Is it common that Mature or Old Souls are too difficult to describe?
Writing this has felt so easy as as though I can express my true feelings in a simple way that people like myself can understand and maybe even relate to. With many other of my self started projects involving interacting online I’ve always felt what I’ve written, said or created has been very artificial and that I’ve never let my inner self shine. During my existential crisis I found writing allowed me to learn more about myself and is something that got me out of it and something I continue to do. Although an introvert and someone who through circumstances would prefer to spend time alone, sharing these truths to others somehow was something I felt like I needed to do and need to continue doing. Thank you so much for this site, I’m not bothered about ‘belonging’ in an online sense but I think I can here!
Hola Rosa,
It’s a huge moment when we discover that we aren’t alone in the quest we are on. I think you’ve summarized it well: “… switching too and forth from different lifestyles recreating myself due to not knowing my real self, carrying the constant heavy burden of searching for something that I simply can’t find, a longing for experiences I know will be simply amazing and beautiful but have never really physically seen or heard described, to finally materialize in some way.”
Although soul age evolution occurs gradually, it is my experience that there’s also ‘catalyst’ moments which challenge us to such an extent that can help the refining of our soulful energy make huge progress.
Maturity is Soul is hard to describe because there is no real common stereotype label in society. Every group of friends has someone that closely resembles a stereotype but to be mature in perception of existence is very ambiguous to label externally. Some people will try to label them as ‘hippies’ or ‘new age’ but even that falls short, as we share the freedom of thought of a hippie or the spiritual openness of a ‘new age’ person without actually embodying that label.
What you’re experiencing is what we experience constantly when writing for LonerWolf, to be able to speak from the Soul is a wonderful experience. To be able to be authentic, to live and grow through others own experiences and discoveries is a beautiful way to connect with others even when we are all so far apart.
We look forward to hearing more of your experience and observations,
Warmly,
Sol
This was very enlightening. Although I am not sure how much time has been condensed into my 18 years of life I find myself getting continuous feelings of nostalgia of places I have never been too or of a certain time period in the past. I am too mature for people my age yet too immature for older people. I do tend to act childish at times but my out look on so many things leaves my mom and my counselor speechless.
I have had all of the problems listed above in my life. I have a habit of not holding back my opinions when I know something is wrong or if I’m trying to express a different understanding to people. But my kindness is one of my Achilles heels even though I have been physically and/or mentally hurt by others. I still have a hard time accepting who I am and wish I were someone else. But what REALLY frustrates me is that I know I have so much knowledge in my head yet it feels like I am unable to unlock it thus I just get frustrated.
I also have a problem with seeing life in a third person view which causes problems. I know how easy it is to die and have often thought to myself while driving , “This body is so fragile, all I would have to do is go a certain speed limit and run into a tree and that would be it. It’s sad to know how easy it is to take a life.” (I don’t intend on doing so) I also have a weird sense of time perception
Hola Haley,
I think many Old Souls experience the frustration that comes from intuitively knowing they have so much within them, yet finding it hard to express it all out. I can tell you it slowly comes out over time the more and more effort and attention you direct toward your Involution work.
Seeing life in a ‘third person’ as you put it is what I call being ‘grounded’ as you stop identifying so much with your body and thoughts, and start allowing your mental focal point to return inwards, to your ‘source’ you could say. It’s almost as if we’ve been living life immersed in a movie and suddenly you realize you’re actually sitting inside of a cinema. It’s perfectly natural and indicates progression in your journey of soulful evolution.
Thank you for sharing your experiences, It’s wonderful to see so many souls on the right path.
Warmly,
Sol
great to seee something written about od soul….. :-)
We have much written on the topic, you can find all of our Old Soul work here: https://lonerwolf.com/old-souls/
Amazing, so true.
Thank you Sonja
I have/or am currently experiencing all 10 of the problems listed above. I feel as though I have been “pushed” to learn and face a lot of problems in my 21 years of life (fast tracked, compared to other Old Souls).
I was experiencing Existential Crises for the past year (but it was most intense for the last 2 months). I was angry about the “sweatshops” that made workers work 18 hour shifts with little pay, the meat industry that cared about profits rather than animal welfare, caged eggs and the lie of “free range eggs”, which the chickens live in barns with very little space to move. The diary industry, which impregnates cows every year so they produce the maximum amount of milk possible, the government and powerful sponsors which secretly control the media and news. BUT especially the people who know /or are too ignorant to care about “sweatshops” and the “meat industry”. It saddens me to see the world so corrupt and money hungry.
I am currently overcoming this by recently finding my soul purpose and trying my best to make this a reality. My guardian angels have lead me to start a project which will help both me and the community to grow and become more loving.
Always have hope!
Lots of Love,
The quiet one.
Hola Quiet One,
You have stumbled upon an essential part of the soul age journey which is trying to condense as much growth as we can into a short amount of time.
Most soul age development occurs naturally over time, like a stream of water corroding a rock. There comes a point in the rocks existence that it becomes so small and loses so much weight, it begins rolling down the stream with little resistance.
As we age in soul age, we lose our sense of ‘self’ weight and suddenly everything is fast tracked much more quickly that it has been before in previous incarnations.
The more and more we grow and continue along this journey; the greater our understanding and realization that everything that happens is necessary. That we can’t change anything in this world but ourselves. We can influence others with our presence, with ourselves and examples of a search for deeper maturity, but we cannot change anyone unless they are open to it.
The suffering of man will not disappear overnight, or even during our lifetime. Resistance to this suffering is what will create existential crisis that don’t benefit anyone but indulge us further in our own sense of injustice and misery. It will take much collective awareness to make a significant change. But this change has to begin sometime, in this very moment, and our first step is acceptance of the state we are in so we can stop resisting.
Everything else will follow the stream of life.
I look forward to writing an article on the Holy Guardian Angel and its significance during this journey.
Thank you for your wisdom,
Warmly,
Sol