How often have you felt addicted to being, doing, and having “more”? To fill the need to be worthy, successful, or more awakened? All fuelled by the feeling that deep down, what you do, what you say, and who you are is “not good enough”?
This pressure to be “more” is only made worse by social media. It’s amplified 1,000-fold by the hyperconnectivity we experience day and night: notifications, pings, follows, likes, follows, comments, and the endless stream of filler content cluttering our screens and lives.
Before we know it, we’re stuck on the self-improvement treadmill fueled by FOMO (fear of missing out) and toxic comparison (“I suck compared to them”). All of this creates deep self-alienation and disconnection from ourselves.
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I feel this almost every time I go on social media. And it’s so automatic and subtle.
I recently entered the social media arena again after a 4-month hiatus as a way of finding more readers to support this work. Let me tell you, it’s chaos out there.
Within the space of 30 seconds, it’s not uncommon to see 7-8 ads, aspirational quotes, rage bait, beautiful people doing perfect yoga, dancing cats, aspirational memes, mala bead-wearing men making green smoothies, videos of people in exotic destinations … the list goes on.
The lesson here? Novelty sells. Negativity sells. “Be more than what you are” sells.
Simplicity and plainness don’t. It’s uncool, daggy, boring. This, in part, is why I believe we fear our own simplicity. We want to be loved and validated and interesting.
But what if we do a 360-degree turn and look at this differently?
What if living a “boring” and “simple” life is the antidote to a lot of our suffering and self-alienation?
In Nietzsche’s Zarathustra: Notes of the Seminar Given in 1934–1939, renowned psychiatrist (and let’s face it, mystic) Carl Jung says something powerful,
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Most people cannot bear simplicity. There are many simple and modest individuals who would be fine if they could be who they are, but they believe they should be something better, that they are not quite good enough; and so they begin to deck themselves out with feathers and whatnot to be great and astonishing. But they are only astonishing when they are simple.
Sounds like a scathing commentary and diagnosis of today’s social landscape, eh?
What I find particularly deep is the last line: they are only astonishing when they are simple.
We’re biologically wired to imitate each other to belong. Hence why places like social media are so addictive. Why “keeping up with the Joneses” is a thing.
But the one who chooses to stay simple, to be okay with their plainness, with their unadorned and bare self, is a true gem. That is what’s astonishing.
Simplicity is honesty. It is the most truthful way to be because you’re not adding anything to yourself. You’re defying society’s message to “do, be, and have more.” You’re defending your right to be your imperfect, flawed, sometimes boring, you.
It’s pretty damn punk if you ask me.
So this is a gentle message today, reminding you (and reminding myself), that it’s okay to be plain and simple. You don’t need to add anything to yourself to be lovable.
You are worthy just as you are.
Related reads:
- 8 Mindfulness Exercises For Anxious/Depressed Minds
- How to Love Yourself (No Bullsh*t Guide)
- How to Find Inner Peace in the Chaos (12 Deep Paths)
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Thank you, I love this! I can relate , I definitely enjoy the simple life with some fun sprinkled in. I’m not influenced much by the world or people around me, I do me!!
Love this Julie! You do you. ;)
Hi guys
This is so true, and I the cause of so much anxiety.
Thanks for sharing xxx
Thank you Clare 💜
Thank you so much. These words came at just the right moment—I’ve been feeling so stuck and inadequate lately, like I simply wasn’t enough for this world.
I’m so glad this helped, Dali 💜
Beautifully written. Simplicity is literally what I am craving and working towards. What does simplicity mean to you? For me, it’s about making fewer decisions. Not the big ones, but the every day ones that use so much mental capacity for so little meaning.
Making fewer but better decisions reminds me of the “80/20” rule. If you haven’t heard of it, look it up. Very insightful. ☺️
Just what I needed to hear at the moment I needed to hear it. These thoughts have been spiralling my mind for a while and I’ve naturally found myself not engaging with the socials. Such an affirming message to receive thank you 🥰
I’m so glad to hear this, Stacy! Thank you for sharing 💜
There is this post on Pinterest(and probably on other socials as well) Which exactly shares what you are writing about. A french guy living his “simple” /”boring” west European life, living mid city center. Working long hours, sporting and enjoying sunsets on the way back home.
There was this American lady who figured this guy is living a sad life, because he is in his late 20’s not married and no children. Because she did get married in her early twenties and raises the children with the perfect partner, and that is, ofcourse the way it should be.
Somewhere later, there was this girl from Ghana, hoping that one day she will be courageous enough to share about her simple life in Ghana.
Where I responded, that maybe, your simple life in Ghana, is what we, in western Europe ALL crave for. Because our berry picking nervous syatems, where not made for the ridiculous amounts of stress we are forced to deal with on the daily.
Personally, I do crave a simple life in the countryside. Not necessarily Africa, Mediterranean light will do the trick too. But maybe, we can learn from African communities that are not yet been converted to the western hustle and bustle that is keeping your nervous system on edge all day everyday.
Its sad, that when people do share about their life, simple, boring, or just trying to make the best of it, that there are these responses that make you feel as if your life is not good enough, and will never be good enough.
I hope, and wish for everyone that needs it. That we can break free.
I sense that there is a movement arising in the collective consciousness that is rebelling against this “be more, do more” mentality. I’ve seen more and more people posting about their “boring but calm lives,” which is what gave me the inspiration for this post. Because I crave for this too. I think we all do to some extent. Thanks for sharing Evelien 💜
Thank you for the confirmation. I’m on a journey to find myself again after my husbands passing. Tomorrow I start a 72 hour no contact, no social media, no TV, no radio just me and my surroundings. To reconnect back to me and immerge as the person I was meant to be. To be boring and live a simple life. Thank you
May it reset your nervous system and help you find more self-connection and peace, Sandra 💜
A very good move is to install an ad blocker. True you have to pay for the presence but once installed it cuts out almost all the ads.
Good suggestion. :)
We gravitate to what is unusual and interesting. Thus we give more attention to those people, which can feel like love, coming and going, depending on how special you appear to be. I read a Sufi passage once that said to try to be liked by everyone. I was shocked. It went on to simply say life is better when you are liked.
I live a simple life since I retired. I am alone most of my day with a lot of time to reflect. I like being reminded we are enough…boring and simple though we may be at times, it is enough.
I’m not sure what that Sufi quote was exactly, but I’ve read a lot about the wisdom of simplicity in other powerful texts like the Tao te Ching. Maybe it was a mistranslation?
Thank you for sharing, Carol. I do think that boring is simple is often all we need. :)
Love this.
Thanks Lauren!