The Astonishing Power of Being Boring: Why We Fear Our Own Simplicity

How often have you felt addicted to being, doing, and having “more”? To fill the need to be worthy, successful, or more awakened? All fuelled by the feeling that deep down, what you do, what you say, and who you are is “not good enough”?

This pressure to be “more” is only made worse by social media. It’s amplified 1,000-fold by the hyperconnectivity we experience day and night: notifications, pings, follows, likes, follows, comments, and the endless stream of filler content cluttering our screens and lives. 

Before we know it, we’re stuck on the self-improvement treadmill fueled by FOMO (fear of missing out) and toxic comparison (“I suck compared to them”). All of this creates deep self-alienation and disconnection from ourselves.

I feel this almost every time I go on social media. And it’s so automatic and subtle. 

I recently entered the social media arena again after a 4-month hiatus as a way of finding more readers to support this work. Let me tell you, it’s chaos out there.

Within the space of 30 seconds, it’s not uncommon to see 7-8 ads, aspirational quotes, rage bait, beautiful people doing perfect yoga, dancing cats, aspirational memes, mala bead-wearing men making green smoothies, videos of people in exotic destinations … the list goes on.

The lesson here? Novelty sells. Negativity sells. “Be more than what you are” sells.

Simplicity and plainness don’t. It’s uncool, daggy, boring. This, in part, is why I believe we fear our own simplicity. We want to be loved and validated and interesting. 

But what if we do a 360-degree turn and look at this differently?

What if living a “boring” and “simple” life is the antidote to a lot of our suffering and self-alienation?

In Nietzsche’s Zarathustra: Notes of the Seminar Given in 1934–1939, renowned psychiatrist (and let’s face it, mystic) Carl Jung says something powerful,

Most people cannot bear simplicity. There are many simple and modest individuals who would be fine if they could be who they are, but they believe they should be something better, that they are not quite good enough; and so they begin to deck themselves out with feathers and whatnot to be great and astonishing. But they are only astonishing when they are simple.

Sounds like a scathing commentary and diagnosis of today’s social landscape, eh?

What I find particularly deep is the last line: they are only astonishing when they are simple.

We’re biologically wired to imitate each other to belong. Hence why places like social media are so addictive. Why “keeping up with the Joneses” is a thing. 

But the one who chooses to stay simple, to be okay with their plainness, with their unadorned and bare self, is a true gem. That is what’s astonishing.

Simplicity is honesty. It is the most truthful way to be because you’re not adding anything to yourself. You’re defying society’s message to “do, be, and have more.” You’re defending your right to be your imperfect, flawed, sometimes boring, you.

It’s pretty damn punk if you ask me.

So this is a gentle message today, reminding you (and reminding myself), that it’s okay to be plain and simple. You don’t need to add anything to yourself to be lovable.

You are worthy just as you are. 

Related reads:

• 8 Mindfulness Exercises For Anxious/Depressed Minds
• How to Love Yourself (No Bullsh*t Guide)
• How to Find Inner Peace in the Chaos (12 Deep Paths)