Traditionally, the media has been known to equate loners with mentally ill psychotics who go on murderous rampages. ย
And while, yes, sure, there are some disturbed ‘loners’ out there, the reality is that …
most loners are totally normal people!
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If you find yourself alone and without friends or family to rely on, I want to assure you that you’re actually in good company.
In the age of social media, global pandemics, and increasing disconnection, being a loner is becoming more common.
But there is a deeper meaning behind this solitude.
And I’ll explore that in this post.
Table of contents
9 Signs You’re a Loner
Being a loner sounds self-explanatory. But for clarity sake, here’s a list of signs that you’re a loner:
- You enjoy spending time alone more than with other people.
- You can’t connect with (or don’t have any) family members.
- You can’t connect with (or don’t have any) friends.
- You’re introspective and tend to be an introvert.
- You like to take life slowly, and the world can feel overwhelming.
- You’re a free spirit who loves independence.
- You tend to have interesting quirks.
- You have the strong desire to walk your own path as a lone wolf.
- You’re the black sheep of the family.
We also have a loner test that you can take if you’re still unsure.
Myths About Loners
Here are some common myths about loners:
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- “Loners hate people”
- “All loners lack social skills”
- “Loners are secretly plotting your death”
- “Loners are lonely people”
- “Loners are creepy”
- “Loners are all mentally ill”
Sure, while some loners might possess some of these qualities, these are not blanket statements or truths that apply to all loners.
Why Being a Loner Can Be Empowering
It’s true that as a species, we require some level of social connectedness.
Don’t worry, that will come with time!
Sometimes we’re in a space in life where we just need to retreat from the world. We need to process our thoughts and feelings, and figure out our ‘true north.’
So to counteract the previous section (those myths are widely spread and can make lonesome people feel horrible), here are some ways being a loner actually helps you:
- Being a loner helps you to develop more self-awareness
- Being a loner supports you in finding the meaning of life
- Being a loner helps you to recover from social overwhelm
- Being a loner gives you space and perspective
- Being a loner helps you to figure out your passions and interests
- Being a loner helps you to develop more independence and self-reliance
- Being a loner makes you a deeper and more interesting person
- Being a loner helps you to find your self-worth within
Can you think of any more ways that being a loner is empowering? Share in the comments!
The Deeper Meaning Behind Being a Loner
There’s a reason why this website is called ‘lonerwolf’ โ it has a deeper meaning that is directly related to being a loner. And that is …
At some point in life, we must all leave the herd and find our own paths.
We must become lone wolves.
We must listen to the calling to reconnect with our Souls.
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The world can be a busy, overwhelming, pressuring, and confusing place. For those who feel a deeper spiritual calling emerge within their being, solitude is natural and needed.
In many cases, loners are empaths and old souls who are on the soul searching path. Being alone is, quite simply, a crucial part of their life path.
So in a nutshell, that is the deeper meaning behind being a loner: it’s a sign that you’re on the spiritual journey and you need the space to figure out who you are and what you want out of life.
***
If you’d like to read more about inner growth, walking your own path, and spiritual evolution, keep digging into this website. There are so many free resources and guides for you to benefit from. One related article you might enjoy is our introvert article.
Tell me, why are you a loner? What is the deeper meaning for you?
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I discovered I am a Hayoka empath through my awakening, I absolutely love alone time, I am at my strongest and growing spiritually, I love painting allowing the energy to come through me, i do tend to pick up on so much energy when I am around others, I also unlocked the ability to see energy through shadow work, I was touched by god with darkness and light, I watched as my body became both, I learned how to manipulate shadow in my shadow work, there are no demons there the darkness was beautiful with its own healing properties, my guide has been teaching me, I can see these energy spirits when channeling but still learning, I cannot hear them so unable to help them, I have very high pitched ringing in my head like 2000khz constant, Iโm not sure what Iโm suppose to do now, maybe itโs my intuition I need to work on.
Wow, there’s a lot to unpack here!
I’m glad you’re embracing your alone time Alice, that’s beautiful โก
Hey Luna & Sol,
What if we feel a little (or more than a little) disturbed? I feel like I have this issue. I feel crazy/insane and also my shadow side is VERY dark and there are some very unpleasant things that are evil.
What if we have parts of us that are truly disturbed and feel like a loner?
I have many good parts and Soul parts but I am feeling like my ego has mostly taken over and things are not getting better. I still have my small circle of friends but fear losing them as I go through my Dark Night and Kundalini awakening.
Any advice or suggestions? Do you have an intuition about this in relation to me? If that is possible.
Please help.
Hey Jamiel,
It’s okay to feel that way; we all have parts in us that feel disturbed (some more than others.) I have still to meet though someone who carries such darkness that is unforgivable.
But the nature of our shadow self is that it builds up and festers, it creates mental stories about how horrible we are, and how no one else has such darkness.
The nature of these mental stories is that they try to make us feel separate, isolated and different so that it can re-enforce the ego’s sense of separation. But when we shed light on this shadow side to someone who is mature and trustworthy, we begin building bridges back to ourselves.
That’s why I’d recommend working with a local counselor or therapist to explore these qualities within us (they don’t define us) in a safe container. Your mind may find a million distractions to get lost in and avoid this after reading this comment, but that’s just showing how scared it is of shedding awareness on its tricks.
Trust the deeper part in you that wants to heal ๐
Thanks Mateo for you reply and insight. I have a therapist and maybe I can bring some of it up to her. Some of it not sure if would be wise though, some pretty dark stuff. I just got to trust my gut too and find that safe container.
You mentioned thatr you have yet to meet somsone who holds anything that is unforgivable. And I am curious what would that be. What would you define as such?
To me just about anything can be forgiven on a human level. On the “higher level” or from Divine eyes I believe everything can be fogiven but never forgetten and karma will result for the Soul to learn and evolve. There is no way around that.
I would love to hear more about what you think about this.
And Shadow work could really help like you are suggesting. Thanks. :)
That’s good to hear. One big issue with spirituality as divorced from organized religion is we don’t have the safe containers that we once did, so a good therapist can provide a bit of what has been lost. You’d be surprised by the kind of dark stuff therapists listen to daily, but it’s important you feel safe so start in small steps sharing some of it as you said.
While there are horrible atrocities that some people have committed, most of the ones I’ve encountered come from a place of deep pain (outside of situations where there’s a chemical disorder like sociopath/psychopaths and even then.) So yes, on a human level, most acts can be forgiven; it’s even more so on a Divine level if we’re all interconnected beings. Hated toward another is like hatred toward ourselves; it forces the heart to close to a fellow part of life that not only affects the other but disconnects a part of us from life.
While I agree we must be discerning and forgive but not forget the people who may have hurt us, it’s also important to realize that we can use ‘remembering’ as yet another way of creating a barrier against life. It can serve as an excuse not to give people a second chance because we’re made up our minds of the type of person the are based on past behavior even if the person has evolved and grown.
So the only way out of this mess is to try and live as much as we can moment to moment, being vigilant of those people who may be harmful and yet not getting too caught up in our mental stories of who has done what, and turning it into a righteous ego flex of ‘this person is bad and I’m incapable of doing what they did even if I had been born with their same genetics and experiences.’ This is where cultivating not only shadow work, but compassion, is so important.
You are right Mateo. I love what you said at the end. Compassion and shadow work are key to freedom for ourselves. feel that is so important for us to break free and evolve. I find myself getting trapped in the stories of my own abusers and honestly feel like I am like them in a way, prpobably becasue I still live with them and trying to find way out. This is my parents btw. One of them is a covert narcissist That is a tough one, more than tough. But having compassion for them is crucial to not become like them. We must maintain and tune into our own hearts and remember that deep beneath the heartless acts and words there is a soul that is trying to find its way home even if it cannot be touched in this life time and all the person is is dark ego (ex. Narcissist’s and other disordered people).
I will try to get the right help brother. I ask for you prayers if you can give them.
Thank you. ๏ปฟ๐๏ปฟ
Just know only through darkness you will see the light, let all ur old beliefs go, those of demons and satan etc portrayed through religion, god wouldnt allow any harm to you, know you are protected, but not from your own projections, he canโt change your beliefs, only you can do that, try identify who the shadow Is in Your life, who it could be, once you name it you have control, face it and work with it accepting the situation, what have you learned here, why did this energy attach itself to you, did they scare you in the past or maybe it was the other way around, this is the interrogation part, then with forgiveness which you have to mean, this is very important we let go of all feelings, resentment, anger etc and say I release you back to the person we now part ways, this continues to your next shadow until you completely been through your buried subconscious, then welcome the light ๐
I have been a lone wolf since my earliest memory wondering into the mountains for no particular reason itโs my calling I believe I was meant to learn to think for myself so for myself fight for my self but I have the ability to get along with others though Iโm usually misunderstood my need to fight for others because I feel duty to not allow evil things in my presence to dream of a world without war the hurting of any people and to change it is a walk I will take even it means death simply put I have no fear God is with me and if I can do good I do it, ii never fit in any group I wonโt agree on group thought but if I find people like me a distant friendship of mutual respect is a good thing, alone or with others Iโm only a minute from doing what I was sent here to do the guardian eternal I will never surrender anything nor watch others hurt when I know this it not Gods way so itโs not my way. Peace on Earth for everyone if we will never have peace.
I am all alone in this world, which doesnโt really bother me that much until I have to fill out forms that ask questions like โdo I have a next of kinโ and โdo I have an emergency contactโ, to which I have to answer โnoโ. I have no family, no friendsโฆ no one ever calls me to ask how I amโฆ no one I can call if I ever need anything. I worry sometimes that if I ever have to spend time in hospital, not only would I have no visitors what-so-ever but thereโs no one I can ask to do my laundry for me or bring me my personal things from home. I also worry sometimes that if I died at home right now or tomorrow or whenever, no one would know or even care. Donโt get me wrongโฆ Iโm not feeling depressed or sorry for myself or anything. Thatโs just a fact of (my) life. It is what it is. Itโs not like I never go out. I do. But I prefer to do things by myself and if I have to go out with other people, I am quite sociable and friendly but when I sense that people or a person has no interest in anything I have to say, Iโm not one to persevere and try harder. Iโd be more than happy to politely make my excuses and go home. And it would always feel so good to be home again.
My name is John and if you ever need anyone to be there for you just let me know ok
I had seen this website a few times in the past but never paid much attention to it or read very many articles. I think it’s because I’ve been in such denial about being a loner and trying my hardest not to be one. But at my core being, I am one. And I’m only now realizing this. I’ve been fighting for too many years to reverse my loner nature. Thinking that there is something wrong with me for wanting to be a loner. Getting scared about studies saying solitude is dangerous for your health. But I’m happiest when I’m in that mode. This article felt like a weight coming off of my shoulders. Telling me that it is ok to be this way and I’m aloud to let go of the ego who is fighting to be something that my true self cannot be. Liberating.
I’m so glad to hear that, Dylan! <3
Sometimes I feel nobody understands but I don’t care at all. I just love and look forward to being alone every day. Mostly either with just my car or cat.
If I’m forced to interact with work,friends, or family all day I’m always thinking during this how happy I’m going to be later especially at home with just my cat and betta fish watching cooking shows or the weather channel! Or going for an hour or 2 drive around town by myself. I find myself saying in my head more and more as I get older”I can hardly wait to be alone”. I am fully functional and happy and liked and respected otherwise. But ive never really found anyone who enjoys being alone as much as me. I certainly will NEVER suffer from loneliness- I know that!
I looked this up on the internet and glad I found you and your posters. Thanks
Thank you for sharing this Bob โก
Being a loner can actually be empowering. In the beginning, my parents forced me to go ahead and ‘make some connections’, because I was always so lonely and quiet. But I have never truly been able to connect with most of my ‘friends’. Even today, I have one or two kindred spirits close to me. People think I am cold, distant or simply weird. But I do not care. I do what feels right, and distancing myself from a demanding society makes me feel great!
It was a highly relatable and guiding article (for those who have misconceptions about loners).
Agreed. Thank you for saying this.
Also important work requires concentration. Being able to be alone, helps us practice concentration, study data, formulate ideas, figure out connections, and tests our thoughts, and allows space to sit on it awhile and look at it again. Great thought requires both dedication, rest and time for fun or unwind. Being alone enough us essential for both my well-being and success at my work.
Yes, absolutely. Thanks for sharing Deb. I find that this is true for my own writing โ I must be in solitude, otherwise it’s just too distracting and difficult! There are benefits of being alone when you’re a highly creative person.
I am a loner, I love driving in the car fast on autobahn alone gng to a library, apart from Dad who has passed away, I have 2 people I can talk to that really get me, otherwise I have so called friends who are fun but if I end up not gng they don’t even remember about it.
This hurts too
I have recently become a loner. But do I feel lonely? Yes. Do I feel depressed? Yes. Do I hate people? No.
I have become a loner because I came to a point that I realized that the only time I had a conversation with anyone (other than my wife) is when I initiated the conversation.
I was a long haul truck driver for 24 years. And I retired 1 1/2 years ago. About 5 months before the Chinavirus. And not 1 person has offered to buy me a cup of coffee or a slice of pie. Or join them for a meal. Noboby has initiated a conversation with me since I retired. Before I retired and attended a party, I was included in conversation for maybe 10 or 15 minutes. Whenever I tried to make a comment, I was usually interrupted. So I stopped trying. And as far as I’m concerned, if people don’t initiate a conversation with me once in awhile, it tells me that they don’t want to talk with me. A couple of years ago about 15 people came to our house for New Years and they were all in the kitchen with my wife, and not 1 person was in the living room with me. So I quit going to parties. I’d rather be alone at home instead of being being alienated at a party. And I quit trying to communicate with these people.
I can relate to that struggle to connect with others Nick, it’s hard, especially if you’re sensitive. Sometimes even trying to actively initiate conversation and keep it going doesn’t work because of the different internal energetic wavelengths. In other words, some people just don’t “vibe” or relate to us on a deeper level (that, or they lack basic social skills!). That’s okay. This world is so large that eventually we’re bound to find someone to talk with. And if not, I like to know that animals and nature are easy to connect with on a meaningful level, and they’re always there for you!
Hey Nick, can you not call it the Chinavirus. It’s called Coronavirus. Your comment is contributing to the Asian hate going on in the US and around the world right now (I’m Chinese American). Shame on Lonerwolf for not picking up on this use of hate.