Traditionally, the media has been known to equate loners with mentally ill psychotics who go on murderous rampages.
And while, yes, sure, there are some disturbed ‘loners’ out there, the reality is that …
most loners are totally normal people!
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If you find yourself alone and without friends or family to rely on, I want to assure you that you’re actually in good company.
In the age of social media, global pandemics, and increasing disconnection, being a loner is becoming more common.
But there is a deeper meaning behind this solitude.
And I’ll explore that in this post.
Table of contents
9 Signs You’re a Loner
Being a loner sounds self-explanatory. But for clarity sake, here’s a list of signs that you’re a loner:
- You enjoy spending time alone more than with other people.
- You can’t connect with (or don’t have any) family members.
- You can’t connect with (or don’t have any) friends.
- You’re introspective and tend to be an introvert.
- You like to take life slowly, and the world can feel overwhelming.
- You’re a free spirit who loves independence.
- You tend to have interesting quirks.
- You have the strong desire to walk your own path as a lone wolf.
- You’re the black sheep of the family.
We also have a loner test that you can take if you’re still unsure.
Myths About Loners
Here are some common myths about loners:
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- “Loners hate people”
- “All loners lack social skills”
- “Loners are secretly plotting your death”
- “Loners are lonely people”
- “Loners are creepy”
- “Loners are all mentally ill”
Sure, while some loners might possess some of these qualities, these are not blanket statements or truths that apply to all loners.
Why Being a Loner Can Be Empowering
It’s true that as a species, we require some level of social connectedness.
Don’t worry, that will come with time!
Sometimes we’re in a space in life where we just need to retreat from the world. We need to process our thoughts and feelings, and figure out our ‘true north.’
So to counteract the previous section (those myths are widely spread and can make lonesome people feel horrible), here are some ways being a loner actually helps you:
- Being a loner helps you to develop more self-awareness
- Being a loner supports you in finding the meaning of life
- Being a loner helps you to recover from social overwhelm
- Being a loner gives you space and perspective
- Being a loner helps you to figure out your passions and interests
- Being a loner helps you to develop more independence and self-reliance
- Being a loner makes you a deeper and more interesting person
- Being a loner helps you to find your self-worth within
Can you think of any more ways that being a loner is empowering? Share in the comments!
The Deeper Meaning Behind Being a Loner
There’s a reason why this website is called ‘lonerwolf’ – it has a deeper meaning that is directly related to being a loner. And that is …
At some point in life, we must all leave the herd and find our own paths.
We must become lone wolves.
We must listen to the calling to reconnect with our Souls.
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The world can be a busy, overwhelming, pressuring, and confusing place. For those who feel a deeper spiritual calling emerge within their being, solitude is natural and needed.
In many cases, loners are empaths and old souls who are on the soul searching path. Being alone is, quite simply, a crucial part of their life path.
So in a nutshell, that is the deeper meaning behind being a loner: it’s a sign that you’re on the spiritual journey and you need the space to figure out who you are and what you want out of life.
***
If you’d like to read more about inner growth, walking your own path, and spiritual evolution, keep digging into this website. There are so many free resources and guides for you to benefit from. One related article you might enjoy is our introvert article.
Tell me, why are you a loner? What is the deeper meaning for you?
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2. Shadow & Light Membership: Do you crave consistent support on your spiritual quest? Receive weekly intuitive guidance and learn to embrace your whole self, including your shadow side. Cultivate deeper self-love with our affordable, personalized support.
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Both in the article and in all of the comments are some recurring themes: deep thoughts /insight, strong vocabulary, and no grammatical travesties. I’m in the loner camp, or at least one nearby – doing my own thing, and it’s great to see all of this!
This article does sound like me a lot because I am actually content being alone. I was not like this always. I used to have friends but because of so many back-to-back tragedies, I felt a lot more happier and more secure with only myself. I didn’t really have to be consistently trying to fit in with people and i didn’t have to live in a fear of losing or being cheated on by people who once meant a lot to me. I slowly faded away from everyone’s life and I was depressed at first when I realized that no one gave a “damn” about me as no one even tried to contact me or anything. Everyone carries on with their life and I accept that. Being a loner is personally not that difficult, actually it is very comfortable because the only person that you have to keep up with is yourself. Being in the “spotlight” makes people do and become unimaginable and fake because their life is not solely theirs, it is for the many people they try to please. Accepting that you’re a loner initially is very difficult and I think it certainly gets better with time. You… Read more »
I am 21 years old and I am finally starting to come to terms with the fact that I am a loner. The hardest part is that everyone around me makes me feel like there is something wrong with me, so in response I start googleing possible disorders like antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder…. But none on the descriptions sound like me. I’m not violent, I’m not depressed, I don’t do drugs to “numb the pain” so to speak. So what’s wrong with me? I am a waitress at a bar/ restaurant and I never go out but I went into my work one night to have a drink and force myself to be social (since I feel like it’s what everyone expectes from me as a girl in her early 20’s… Go out and have fun, right?) and immediately my coworkers asked if I was there alone… As if it was social suicide to be seen alone in public. It made me feel selfconscious so I went home. I’ve always had the reoccurring question of “who am I?” Popping up in my mind. I am having a hard time accepting that no matter how hard I try, I… Read more »
please help me. im a loner. it so happened to me maybe because im the only girl in our family. im 26 now. here in Africa, girls get married at between 18-25 and because im a loner, im afraid this is affecting me and i might not be able to get married. i dont like partying, i stay alone and i dont like visitors or visiting athers. everyday after work i switch off my phone, and when im at home, i pretend as if im not there. but i love being alone, is this normal ?
This is a good article regarding loners. People are apt to consider loners a bit strange. Can’t think why myself they aren’t all going around doing nasty things to other people. I am a loner myself by choice I like my own company as I have grown older I am 66 years old now I have found that I can’t always hack other people company especially the one’s who keep gossiping and prying into other people’s business. And the one’s who drone on and on about how wonderful it is to be married ( I am single by choice) and how wonderful having kids is. I don’t agree with that utterance at all. And another comment I sometimes get do you prefer dogs to kids ( I have a Yorkshire terrier) When I alone with my dog I can relax and go for long walks over my local park which I like doing. I do have friends yes but we don’t live in each other’s pockets. I am not lonely I love my life so I don’t want some people to invade my inner sanctum so to speak.
Hi…
Great article…
I was on my couch…my 2 young boys having the weekend with their father..and yet again..I am home alone..I am a loner..since leaving high school..I have not had a best friend…until I met my future husband..as he was very social..he being an Aquarius & myself a Taurus….he’d always be out to parties..etc..which he’d have me go to..which always made me feel uncomfortable..but I got use to it..though still treasuring my time alone at home..in my garden..and peace & quiet.
I’m divorced now after 12 years..and it’s just me and my boys…but I do feel guilty about not being a ” high achiever “..as I’m not very confident…I often feel bad about not socialising.
My sister is the opposite…an Aries and high achiever..& very sociable…she is always trying to…help me out..as she sees it..to ” get out there “….often asking..so…what have you done with yourself…blah..blah…I feel really guilty after seeing her..why is that..?.
Thank you for your article. You’ve touched on some really great points, such as loners being misunderstood. I’m 34 years old, and a loner. I wasn’t always a loner, for instance in grade school I had many friends, I was in school band, took part in activities, etc. I’m not anti-social, but I’ve always been an avid reader and I just enjoy peace and quiet. So much of many “average people” chatter non-stop about total nonsense, as if there is a need to fill that gap between words with something greater than perfect silence. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that the more time I spend alone, the more myself I feel. I observe people in groups and they kind of share the same mindset: An Alpha, followed by a bunch of Betas. There is some reasoning behind this “pack mentality”, and maybe I understood it a while back and just forgot. The whole idea of needing someone to follow or being surrounded by people is just ridiculous to me. I go to the movies by myself, go out to eat by myself, go into the city by myself. I enjoy going with friends as well, but when… Read more »
I got a important question and would really love to hear your experience…do you feel people look down on you and treat you like you less of a human being because youre a loner…its true that human beings are social beings by nature but if you do youre research there’s people who are born without a need for social dependancy…there must a gud explanation for these people becuz if there wasnt they wouldnt exist…peace
As a loner myself, I quite like this article and comments and responses. Why? because, to be honest I don’t feel “quite” so abnormal. Let’s face it, loners are a minority, that’s the number 1 reason they are shunned (like most things in society, that doesn’t run with the majority) I’d be a liar if I said i NEVER felt like a complete alien/abnormal from time to time, lonely, depressed from spending my life alone…. but it is actually liveable. Whether I am a loner by circumstance or “choice”.. (I like to think it’s a bit of both) but really, initially at least, it wasn’t the latter, I think it was because of the way I was raised, (I didn’t have the best childhood or family upbringing but hey I won’t bore you with all the details) , fall-outs with close highschool friends, betrayals, drugs, psych wards, rhematoid arthritis etc etc I do think even loners need social interaction from time to time, on the rare occassion just to get away from always thinking in their own heads. But I also feel super-social types need to learn how to spend some more time alone, to get get in touch with… Read more »
Yh im a lone wolf who is very strong and tall and reads alot about war so naturally people see me as a possible future serial killer but im not dumb and I have no interest in killing other people..I just want to be left alone and find a solitary job..in a genuis and if I ever did make friends it would only be with other loners so stay true and dnt let society get to u…peace