Traditionally, the media has been known to equate loners with mentally ill psychotics who go on murderous rampages.
And while, yes, sure, there are some disturbed ‘loners’ out there, the reality is that …
most loners are totally normal people!
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If you find yourself alone and without friends or family to rely on, I want to assure you that you’re actually in good company.
In the age of social media, global pandemics, and increasing disconnection, being a loner is becoming more common.
But there is a deeper meaning behind this solitude.
And I’ll explore that in this post.
Table of contents
9 Signs You’re a Loner
Being a loner sounds self-explanatory. But for clarity sake, here’s a list of signs that you’re a loner:
- You enjoy spending time alone more than with other people.
- You can’t connect with (or don’t have any) family members.
- You can’t connect with (or don’t have any) friends.
- You’re introspective and tend to be an introvert.
- You like to take life slowly, and the world can feel overwhelming.
- You’re a free spirit who loves independence.
- You tend to have interesting quirks.
- You have the strong desire to walk your own path as a lone wolf.
- You’re the black sheep of the family.
We also have a loner test that you can take if you’re still unsure.
Myths About Loners
Here are some common myths about loners:
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- “Loners hate people”
- “All loners lack social skills”
- “Loners are secretly plotting your death”
- “Loners are lonely people”
- “Loners are creepy”
- “Loners are all mentally ill”
Sure, while some loners might possess some of these qualities, these are not blanket statements or truths that apply to all loners.
Why Being a Loner Can Be Empowering
It’s true that as a species, we require some level of social connectedness.
Don’t worry, that will come with time!
Sometimes we’re in a space in life where we just need to retreat from the world. We need to process our thoughts and feelings, and figure out our ‘true north.’
So to counteract the previous section (those myths are widely spread and can make lonesome people feel horrible), here are some ways being a loner actually helps you:
- Being a loner helps you to develop more self-awareness
- Being a loner supports you in finding the meaning of life
- Being a loner helps you to recover from social overwhelm
- Being a loner gives you space and perspective
- Being a loner helps you to figure out your passions and interests
- Being a loner helps you to develop more independence and self-reliance
- Being a loner makes you a deeper and more interesting person
- Being a loner helps you to find your self-worth within
Can you think of any more ways that being a loner is empowering? Share in the comments!
The Deeper Meaning Behind Being a Loner
There’s a reason why this website is called ‘lonerwolf’ – it has a deeper meaning that is directly related to being a loner. And that is …
At some point in life, we must all leave the herd and find our own paths.
We must become lone wolves.
We must listen to the calling to reconnect with our Souls.
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The world can be a busy, overwhelming, pressuring, and confusing place. For those who feel a deeper spiritual calling emerge within their being, solitude is natural and needed.
In many cases, loners are empaths and old souls who are on the soul searching path. Being alone is, quite simply, a crucial part of their life path.
So in a nutshell, that is the deeper meaning behind being a loner: it’s a sign that you’re on the spiritual journey and you need the space to figure out who you are and what you want out of life.
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If you’d like to read more about inner growth, walking your own path, and spiritual evolution, keep digging into this website. There are so many free resources and guides for you to benefit from. One related article you might enjoy is our introvert article.
Tell me, why are you a loner? What is the deeper meaning for you?
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2. Shadow & Light Membership: Do you crave consistent support on your spiritual quest? Receive weekly intuitive guidance and learn to embrace your whole self, including your shadow side. Cultivate deeper self-love with our affordable, personalized support.
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I am an extreme introvert and self proclaimed loner. I always have been a loner. Even when I was a kid, I hated parties and hanging out in large groups.
These days, I have no girlfriend and no intent to ever get married, no kids, I moved thousands of miles from the few friends and family I have (although I do visit every few months), and I own my own online business meaning I hardly ever have to leave the house. I am a loner by choice and I’ve purposely distanced myself from society. I can sometimes go a week or longer with zero human interaction.
…Funny thing is, I’m the happiest and friendliest guy I know. I have total and complete freedom over every aspect of my life. I do what I want when I want for as long as I want and wherever I want. There are no compromises in my life. I call all the shots. As misunderstood as I might be, I would never give up this life of ultimate freedom and drama/stress free living.
Solitude is a funny thing. Being alone with oneself for an extended period of time can be a blessing or a curse. Some people learn to love themselves through solitude while others learn how much they actually hate themselves.
Ironically, the only time I truly feel alone is when I’m in a crowd. My solitude is like a drug. I love it, I crave it, and if I don’t get enough of it I experience many withdrawal symptoms. I only wish everyone could experience the serenity of solitude. Instead, so many fear it, presumably because they fear getting to know themselves intimately.
Introverts comprise of the largest group of people who have never had a single meeting. Just the way we like it!
You remind me of myself, except that I don’t believe that solitude is like a drug because calling something like a drug conjures up more than negative connotation to me.
Also to me, extroversion’s like a drug, especially since many people seem to prefer it to introversion due most of the world catering to extroverts instead of introverts .And so, I value my introversion and independence over the conformity of my biased opposites.
Oops. I meant to put “one” between “than” and “negative.” My bad.
Hi I’m a loner when I took the test.I don’t know if I chose to be a loner or if I just like to be alone but it’s all I hear.My family gets angry at me because I don’t what to go with them or do anything with them and my mother says she gives up on me and after all that she gets upset for nothing even after she said that.Please can someone tell me what’s wrong with me I’m 14 and I don’t even know who or what I am please someone tell me and help me
Feeling lonely is worse than being alone. Once your dad convinces you that he was right to smash you against the wall for a sigh- You need to be alone to be happy. Even to sigh. There’s no fixing the past person we became- no relearning our youth. I play the hands I’m dealt- the game is solitaire.
Since I was younger, I’ve always wondered why the others didn’t seem interested in hanging out with me. I was never ostracized but the students never gravatad towards me. Even at 52, I still don’t have a lot of people (co-workers church members)that gravitate towards me, but on occasion I’ll have an acquaintance want to strike up a conversation with me, but to dive into a friendship, never seems to take place. It took this long in my life to finally realize that my higher power, for me it is God, kept these relationships from developing for a reason, because deep down inside being a loner, a semi recluse, is what I really wanted, and there is nothing wrong with that, that’s what I am. So now I look at rejection as something that is meant to happen which keeps the sadness from taking over.
Great article. I am an only child.. male.. now in my 40’s, own my own home, Single, Living alone. Mostly homebound though I have a successful career and do enjoy (occasional) going out with a work friend and his wife. Since early childhood I was considered a “loner” that would only have one close friend at a time I would hang out with… Though I have suffered since childhood of social anxiety. There has always been a theme in society I bought into that I need to push my comfort zones.. However, when I was dating the love of my life, who was a socialite, I found that it never got “more comfortable” and I was always in a state of discomfort socially trying to fit in with someone else s group of friends . I had an epiphany after years that the old saying is garbage.. If you keep going outside your “comfort” zone and never get comfortable what is the point? So I stuck to only close meaningful relationships where there was not some large group alpha/beta experiment. Problem is, once I reached my mid 30’s all those meaningful friendships were lost once they married and had kids.. As much as I tried, a single guy just doesn’t fit in with his married friends as those friends seek out other married friends with kids. Now that has put me into a path of loner/homebody. While I did not mind being a loner when I had Friends I could hang with when I got lonely, not having those friend and not having the ability to connect when I feel lonely has been tough. Even when I get lonely however, I am still stubborn in that I would rather be alone then endure though casual idle shallow group relationships. And I have also avoided the “pity” invites some through out the the third wheel. I hold no blame or animosity, but rather a deep sense of discomfort and social awkwardness at being a third wheel.
I am a loner because I love being alone……this is simply the most profound article I have ever read.Real beauty in simplicity.My birthday was yesterday;the gift came today in the form of this article.
Thank you
I want to thank you for writing this wonderful post. As a proud loner it is very difficult to be understood properly in this loud, crazy world. I love writing, reading, and learning about anything that catches my attention. I sincerely see no need to go socialize, hang out bars, clubs, etc. it is not my idea of fun, it is stressful and telling anyone who isn’t like me, they wonder what the hell is his problem? After a long time of questioning why I am like this, I realize that I enjoyed being a loner and the only reason I thought I hated it is because of society’s expectations of me.
People told me I needed more friends, to go out more, and questioned if I liked people. I felt like an outsider at times for being a loner but I realize that it’s just people’s lazy way of labeling something that they don’t understand. I have always been like this and I tried to conform but I realized that it’s useless. You have to be yourself and do what makes you happy. For me that is writing my book until late at night, and feeling so satisfied after I’m done! In the end personal happiness and self-satisfaction is the only thing that matters. Not the what society wants you to be to fit into their version of “normal”.
Great article. My ex said I should seek counseling for being a loner! lol. I am a loner by choice and need very little external stimulation, I love it! People really don’t understand that as most people are social, most animals in general are social due to survival instincts. However, I have been very self sufficient since as far as I can remember. I do believe for those people who are not a loner by choice and it does not add goodness to their life being alone, should seek help though. harmonicliving101.com
So this is how they see loner’s huh..? other than thinking them as loser’s.. now my 13 year old brain understand’s now i will still stay as a loner.
Hi 17 years old teen over here ;3 english is not my native language so i apologise for all the grammar problems that i alredy did and im about to make ;3 Im a introvert as well that means loner too right ? hope so ;3 Sooooooo i read carefully your work. i mean ::What’s Wrong With Being a Loner?>> and im grateful . I LOVE to be alone . mostly because i dont want to make new friends unless they share my hobbys . in my case drawing and sports . i spend my free time drawing and listening to music . its really easy for me to make new friends through sport but i dont really want to because i like to be more distant and watch the people who surround me before i socialize with them .I fell like people dont understand me because im always alone and i hardly talk if im not asked .thats why when i talk all my classmates listen to me .beside that i enjoy my time alone and i dont care what others think about me because since i grew older i started to not care about many things .that made me uncertain when i was younger .when it comes to Love factor my thoughts are split in 3 sides 1 i try to find a girlfriend because i often fell lonley when i see other couples . 2 i ask myseld if i really want to be in a relationship .3 i cant find the right girl for me because i have way to high expectations of what kind of girfriend i want {that goes way back when i decided to not accept any girl that is less like a person i admire } ok that sounds mean but i dont know how to say it so it sounds nice ;p . a loner too that would be probably the start point for me .there are many things that i still dont understand , would like to hear your thoughts about how should i approach a relationship since im shy when it comes to socialize with a girl im in love with ;3
p.s just commited grammar mass murder XD and i used the word ;because. like a 100 times since i was too lazy to search on the web for synonymes for it ;3 .
You excuse for a loner! A true loner wouldn’t commit grammar mass murder use humorous expressions like XD. After all, my kinds of loners don’t do them because they’re not the humorous types.