Traditionally, the media has been known to equate loners with mentally ill psychotics who go on murderous rampages. ย
And while, yes, sure, there are some disturbed ‘loners’ out there, the reality is that …
most loners are totally normal people!

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If you find yourself alone and without friends or family to rely on, I want to assure you that you’re actually in good company.
In the age of social media, global pandemics, and increasing disconnection, being a loner is becoming more common.
But there is a deeper meaning behind this solitude.
And I’ll explore that in this post.
Table of contents
9 Signs You’re a Loner
Being a loner sounds self-explanatory. But for clarity sake, here’s a list of signs that you’re a loner:
- You enjoy spending time alone more than with other people.
- You can’t connect with (or don’t have any) family members.
- You can’t connect with (or don’t have any) friends.
- You’re introspective and tend to be an introvert.
- You like to take life slowly, and the world can feel overwhelming.
- You’re a free spirit who loves independence.
- You tend to have interesting quirks.
- You have the strong desire to walk your own path as a lone wolf.
- You’re the black sheep of the family.
We also have a loner test that you can take if you’re still unsure.
Myths About Loners
Here are some common myths about loners:
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- “Loners hate people”
- “All loners lack social skills”
- “Loners are secretly plotting your death”
- “Loners are lonely people”
- “Loners are creepy”
- “Loners are all mentally ill”
Sure, while some loners might possess some of these qualities, these are not blanket statements or truths that apply to all loners.
Why Being a Loner Can Be Empowering
It’s true that as a species, we require some level of social connectedness.
Don’t worry, that will come with time!
Sometimes we’re in a space in life where we just need to retreat from the world. We need to process our thoughts and feelings, and figure out our ‘true north.’
So to counteract the previous section (those myths are widely spread and can make lonesome people feel horrible), here are some ways being a loner actually helps you:
- Being a loner helps you to develop more self-awareness
- Being a loner supports you in finding the meaning of life
- Being a loner helps you to recover from social overwhelm
- Being a loner gives you space and perspective
- Being a loner helps you to figure out your passions and interests
- Being a loner helps you to develop more independence and self-reliance
- Being a loner makes you a deeper and more interesting person
- Being a loner helps you to find your self-worth within
Can you think of any more ways that being a loner is empowering? Share in the comments!
The Deeper Meaning Behind Being a Loner
There’s a reason why this website is called ‘lonerwolf’ โ it has a deeper meaning that is directly related to being a loner. And that is …
At some point in life, we must all leave the herd and find our own paths.
We must become lone wolves.
We must listen to the calling to reconnect with our Souls.
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The world can be a busy, overwhelming, pressuring, and confusing place. For those who feel a deeper spiritual calling emerge within their being, solitude is natural and needed.
In many cases, loners are empaths and old souls who are on the soul searching path. Being alone is, quite simply, a crucial part of their life path.
So in a nutshell, that is the deeper meaning behind being a loner: it’s a sign that you’re on the spiritual journey and you need the space to figure out who you are and what you want out of life.
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If you’d like to read more about inner growth, walking your own path, and spiritual evolution, keep digging into this website. There are so many free resources and guides for you to benefit from. One related article you might enjoy is our introvert article.
Tell me, why are you a loner? What is the deeper meaning for you?
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nothing wrong with being a loner,i watched how people live thier lives and just think glad thats not me,we have too many sociopaths these days..people are the problem,always have been…loners have peace without the BS
Right on Woody! I’m 63, divorced twice, retired from a 40 yr career, have lost my only child to diabetes. I have always been a bookworm and cat lover. All I want is peace now. Just stay home with my cats and read. Hate all of the BS that comes with people-had more than my share.
I am all alone in this world, which doesn’t really bother me that much until I have to fill out forms that ask questions like “do I have a next of kin” and “do I have an emergency contact”, to which I have to answer “no”. I have no family, no friends… no one ever calls me to ask how I am… no one I can call if I ever need anything. I worry sometimes that if I ever have to spend time in hospital, not only would I have no visitors what-so-ever but there’s no one I can ask to do my laundry for me or bring me my personal things from home. I also worry sometimes that if I died at home right now or tomorrow or whenever, no one would know or even care. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not feeling depressed or sorry for myself or anything. That’s just a fact of (my) life. It is what it is. It’s not like I never go out. I do. But I prefer to do things by myself and if I have to go out with other people, I am quite sociable and friendly but when I sense that people or a person has no interest in anything I have to say, I’m not one to persevere and try harder. I’d be more than happy to politely make my excuses and go home. And it would always feel so good to be home again.
Autonomy is the only thing that stands firm against conformity. That is what this propaganda is and has been about, scapegoating the loner types. They need to scare the sheeple populace by swaying us out of their favor. Dreamers, creatives, loners and etc. If you are this way, you were born for this calling and it is in you. You dont have to try to be a loner you just do. Our minds are a myriad of labyrinths so they wouldnt be able to figure us out even if they tried. I can go on but basically people fear what they dont know. So their ignorance stems from FEAR. You can break it down to them like babies and your reasoning is still beyond them. Thinking is just too damned hard for some. They are too far above humilty.
I’m a loner because I’m stupid when it comes to social things. I d0n’t get social cues, I can’t read people. And I always tend to be stupid in public situations then beat myself up repeatedly over it. SO I choose to be alone and isolated. I tell myself I like it, that people are afraid of me, which they are, but deep down it sucks. But I’ve never really had the desire for anything else. I know I have a mental illness, which one, dunno. Diagnosed schizoid, but not sure its accurate.
Iโm a loner too. At the moment Iโm travelling New Zealand by myself and I am so, so happy. I donโt feel the need to talk to anyone except the people that I need to when Iโm out and about.
At home in the UK I go out alone a lot. To the cinema, stand-up nights, art galleries, museums, etc. My favourite treat is to get a pizza, a glass of red wine for and read a book in a cosy restaurant. I donโt mind being surrounded by people out on dates or chatting with their friends.
Its true what this article says, that we are made to feel like outsiders, when really weโre not doing anything โwrongโ. When people ask me why Iโm alone I just smile and say โI like being in my own.โ No more explanation is needed. Being apologetic reveals an insecurity beneath the surface. I have no insecurities about being alone and I smile in acknowledgement at other โlonersโ when I pass them out and about, especially other young women who are about my age. We should feel good and confident in our decision to go it alone, we should enjoy ourselves for being simply that – ourselves.
I’m so glad I came upon this article. My cousin, who I get up with, lived with, and was practically my sister, had passed on three years ago. Before she died I remember being a fun and silly person, I was very outgoing and can talk to anyone. After her death it seemed like that fun part of me died along with her. I turned into a loner. Sometimes I am okay with this and I can accept that I will probably never have another friend as long as live, other times these thoughts can put me in a bad place. I still love to do fun things and I am always out and about, usually with my mom or just my daughter, I guess it would be nice to also have a friend. My husband is my only friend but he doesn’t understand me because he is not a loner. I just wish I can be okay with myself all the time, but more than anything I wish I can have a friend again.
There is A LOT of prejudice regarding being a loner. Psychs try to make the world believe that being a loner is a ‘disorder’ of the so called ‘schizophrenia spectrum’ and that loners are potential schizophrenics, psychopaths and serial killers.
We have to undergo ‘therapy’ to turn us into ‘normal’ herd animals, and they even want to drug us with (among others) Bupropion, Risperidone and Olanzapine.
Because when you’re drugged, you will go with the flow like a zombie and then psychs say that is ‘normal’ behavior. Really, WTF…
They kill you mentally; they will break your spirit and turn you into someone you’re not.
DON’T BUY THIS CRAP, MY FELLOW LONERS!
BEING A LONER IS NOT A MENTAL ILLNESS!
AS A MATTER A FACT, THE PSYCHS ARE THE ONES THAT ACT LIKE REAL PSYCHOPATHS, THE WAY THEY (MIS)TREAT US!
I am a loner, not by choice but by circumstances seemingly beyond my control. I don’t mind being a loner sometimes because solitude can be quite peaceful and refreshing. However, the problem I have with being a loner is that it seems to get in the way of my love life and dating life. Women don’t seem to like loners. I suspect that they are either afraid of them or they just want to date the most popular guys, guys who always seem to run with a “posse” around them all the time and have lots of friends. “Bro’s” I guess you could call them. I would like to be one of those guys so I can get myself a pretty girlfriend. I knows that seems selfish of me but that’s how I feel. Feedback would be greatly appreciated.
When did you published this article?
I’m a loner as well, but from what I’ve read so far, it seems like some acclaimed loners on here aren’t very nice people at all. After reading this article, some people are like “we’re better than none loners”. Why can’t you just be equal? Sure a lot of extroverted people can be excluding of others and conceited, but you’re no better if you’re being just as egotistical as them. Anyways, I enjoyed this article. I thought there was something wrong with me when I began college and spent all my time alone in the dorm, but I eventually learned to accept myself. I made the mistake of getting into my first relationship with a narcissist who didn’t accept the fact that I was extremely introverted and just wanted me to make him look good to his friends. If you’re a loner and you happen to want a romantic relationship, make sure that person accepts you as you are.
I’ve lived alone for 60 years. I’ve no relatives left and no close friends, although I’ve worked with many people over the years. Another loner and I used to name each other when medical entrance forms asked who to notify. A year ago, that guy died. Now, I hesitate to list his name and phone number, because after all these years, it won’t be long till some hospital will feel the need to call. I may list the Neptune Society instead, but they know what to do only if I happen to be dead. Perhaps someone can tell me if there’s a society that responds when you’re still alive.