The Dark Night of the Soul is one of the most painful, isolating, and destabilizing experiences in life. Yet it is also a tremendous blessing in disguise.
As a primordial process of death and rebirth, the Dark Night of the Soul is a period in life where we are stripped of everything that is false.
The veils of illusion are torn from our eyes. We suddenly see the fragility of ourselves, other people, and existence itself.
Out of nowhere, we start asking big questions such as “What is the meaning of life?” “What happens after death?” and “Why was I born?”
What Type of Spiritual Wanderer Are You?
Spiritual Wanderers are sensitive and deep-thinking people who yearn to awaken to a greater sense of purpose and freedom in this life. Which of the five types of Wanderers are you?
The more we start to question our lives, the more deception we come across. We see the lies perpetuated by society.
We see the ways we have become wounded and behave dysfunctionally. And we may even notice a sense of emptiness inherent in our lives. Something feels missing. But what?
For many people, the Dark Night of the Soul heralds big life shifts. We may quit our jobs, leave our marriage, and seek out something more meaningful and aligned with who we truly are.
For some, the Dark Night is a call to begin the spiritual wanderer’s journey toward self-actualization, spiritual illumination (or enlightenment), and reconnecting with the Soul.
Dark Night of the Soul Questions
When people first enter this dark period of life, they often have many questions.
It can feel scary to lose interest in what you once valued and have your life turned upside down. Due to its destabilizing effect on our lives, the Dark Night is synonymous with what is known as the spiritual emergency.
Here are some commonly asked questions which might help to relax your mind a bit:
Most people who go through the Dark Night feel a sense of loneliness, isolation, anxiety, and depression. It’s common to crave solitude and quiet, comforting environments. While some describe the experience as a death and rebirth, others describe it as the feeling of disintegrating or falling through a void.
The Dark Night of the Soul is an experience that is unique to everyone (although it does share many common characteristics). For one person it may last a few months, for others, it may last a year or many years. Most importantly, please understand that this is a temporary experience, and many people can relate to what you’re experiencing. You’re not alone, although it might feel that way.
There are many ways to answer this question, but it’s crucial to understand first and foremost that the Dark Night is a natural and organic process. Just as trees go through a period of losing their leaves in Autumn/Winter, so too do we as humans (metaphorically speaking). We all go through cycles of death and rebirth – periods where we are full of life and energy and then periods where we need to slow down and go within. The Dark Night helps us to stop and tune into our inner selves. It is a process that goes hand-in-hand with the spiritual awakening process and finding our true life purpose.
Good question! Think of the Dark Night of the Soul as entering a prolonged Winter period. What comes after Winter? Spring! After the Dark Night, we emerge refreshed, renewed, and ready to walk our true life paths. This is known as the ‘Illumination‘ stage on the spiritual wanderer’s journey. In this period, we have gained clarity, wisdom, tenderness, and the ability to tune into ourselves thanks to the Dark Night period. These qualities we then bring into our lives. It’s quite common to start big projects, make powerful life changes, and explore our newly found gifts after the Dark Night of the Soul. It’s a blessing in disguise.
Dark Night of the Soul Test
Are you experiencing symptoms of loneliness, isolation, depression, and soul loss? Does it feel as though you’re cut off or totally disconnected from the Divine?
If so, you may be experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul. Take our free Dark Night of the Soul Test to confirm (or challenge) your suspicions below:
What result did you get? Feel free to share your results in the comments as well as any reflections.
If you need more in-depth guidance, see our Dark Night of the Soul Journal for more help.
What has your experience during the Dark Night been like so far? I’d love to hear from you below. Your words might inspire or support someone else on this difficult journey.
I got 50%. Does that mean I am in the process of the transformation and I have more work to do on myself. In the last year I have had many changes. Had to move because we could not afford the country home we were living in. Returned to the city in May. We moved in with my daughter and grandson He died of a drug overdose on June 22,2023. He was only 21. His mother and I found him the person who gave him the drug left him to die. Then August 26, 2023 my 94 year old Mother died, We were expecting it she had been ill for a few year. On August 30,2023 we welcomed a new baby girl my first great granddaughter. I have been questioning many things about live for the pas year. I have been reading and keep hearing in my head clean out or get rid of what no longer serves me. I know i am an empath have been listening to spiritual music . I do not watch the news any more all it is about war and very angry people. Personally I have never understood war, or peoples hatred for those that are diffeant than them. In our hearts and mind we all want the same thing a safe place to live and a safe place to worship what ever that means to the individual. Stuff on the internet says we are going into the 5th dimention and leaving the 3rd. that is why we need to find our tribe now
Denice
My experience has been devastating to my life. I’ve cut off all friendships unwillingly not knowing that I’ve done so. I stopped using Facebook what made me lose touch with the on goings with friends and family. I started sleeping on the sofa and have been doing so for a year plus. This has effected my relationship with my partner. I was a keen musician now playing my guitar makes me upset for no reason at all. I can stay in a state of sadness for days after this. I lost interest in my job what I use to love. I used to be a stone Mason for Memorials and statues and preservation technician for historical buildings. Due to health reasons I can not continue this work anymore what has only added to this experience. Drugs have started to make it’s way into my life what has become a financial burden on me. I’ve kept all of this hidden from love ones except for my health issue. It is a spiritual death and it’s been hard and devastating for my soul. One night just recently I was laying in the dark with my eyes closed when all of a sudden I started to see a bright light light up my eye lids while they were still closed. This experience brought calm and acceptance to me out of nowhere. Since then I’ve been feeling like I’m beginning to accept what has and is happening and I’m not caring about it anymore . I am hoping this is the rebuilding of my soul. I’m not sure on this but the rest I’ve started to get from those dark thoughts has been great. My immortality I understand now and not scared off. The guilt I felt from losing my circle of friends I can begin to accept. From this day of writing this I have everything to rebuild in every aspect of my life but I think and feel ready to do this. start to open up about this experience and let people know what I’ve been feeling the last past few years. I’ve came from suicidal to determined to enjoy and embrace what I have left. I hope this helps someone somewhere. 😊
I scored 90. I thought, with all the spiritual work and growth I have done the last 5 years, that this was impossible. Being a Heyoka Empath, this is even more profound! Well I suppose there is more work to be done then hey 🙂
My closest friends dog died recently and I’m HSP and it has been having a really big impact on me. I loved that dog. My friend has not even acknowledged this. I lashed out against my friend and resulted in him crying. I never meant to do that. I also have potentially severe anxiety and I have been dealing with it much more frequently and having more anxiety attacks. And suprisingly I got not DNOTS
I got most unlikely. I was surprised because this is the darkest moment in my life so far. I haave been dealing with so much
I scored 100%, and was not at all surprised. My life changed drastically starting in 2018, with separating then divorcing from then husband, youngest kiddo leaving the nest to go to college, quitting a career I’d had for 30+ years, starting my own business, relapsing from almost 10 years of sobriety, the pandemic, getting sober again (3 1/2 years again), moving to a new city from the home city I’d ever known, losing both parents within 2 months of each other, a dog with cancer and having to put her to sleep, and recently my ex husband passing away from acute alcoholism. Many other events in between. I am exhausted, and feel quite hopeless. Questioning all of my former ways of thinking, beliefs. Watching as our world deconstructs, and feeling helpless, lost, lonely, misunderstood, and a sadness that is palpable. I’m trying to change my thinking and understand that I am in a season of change. Really trying to embrace the dark within me, and understand its presence, befriend it, and know that I won’t feel like this forever. No small feat. Going through a dark night of the soul is not for the faint of heart.
Scored 85, but as prissy as it might sound, the test wasn’t necessary to confirm the experience. I do have a question, though. If you (Aletheia) were to state, say, the 8 most common characteristics of an individual post-Dark Night of the Soul, making their way into a more spiritually accurate, Self and Soul aligned from within and without, etc., what would those characteristics be? Maybe I haven’t poked around this website enough and there’s already an article on the same topic, but I figured to ask. Another question-if the Dark Night of the Soul works (in many ways) as an illuminating light on just how inaccurately most folks will behave, just how f’ed up the world is, what would you say is the “expected” opposite, after at least the first Dark Night of the Soul? I mean, I get the whole retreat-and-recluse idea-sounds kind of enticing-but (forgive me for the provocativeness of this statement now) what’s the point of seeing the world for what it is if all we’re going to do is hide from it? What’s the point of doing all of this work-and it is work, and it takes real energy, and it is easily misunderstood and dismissed-in an effort to be rather than “be” if we cannot acknowledge the world had a part in our being? If we cannot admit the world has a part in our journey? Why do any of this just to revel in it, just to have it? I’m not advocating activism here, not suggesting somebody needs to be the prophetic messiah of our times, I’m more interested with what you might “prescribe” to be the something that we would do after creating ourselves from the relative nothing the Dark Night leaves in its wake. There’s just a tendency to quote hate on the world,” and while I get that, I really do, could it not also be said that once upon a time, before any of us started doing any spiritual work, we were one of those people? Could it not be said we like to blame people for who they are, when really what we’re blaming them for is what they’re doing-the same things we used to do, some things I still do, to this day (my work is only beginning). Anyway!-tangent-question #2 basically being: what is the “expectable” opposite/resultant state of being from (a/one) Dark Night, supposing one is more out of the Dark Night than remaining within? (Background: I’m 23 years old; Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder and C-PTSD [both diagnoses ring true, I am still dissociating urg], emotional/psychological trauma, including but not limited to emotional/psychological manipulation, gaslighting; previously diagnosed with Major Depression, GAD, SAD, Bipolar II which became Bipolar I until they added the “with psychotic aspect” to that last one, none of which address dissociative states; I’m an introvert and I need to see people at work (retail), for I find most of me is exhausted by interacting with people but one small, key bit of me (more core than not) absolutely needs to interact with people; I prefer the term attuned way more than empath, and I do see a difference; I’m apolitical-can’t make me want that sh*t.)
I don’t know what I even just wrote…like, does this post make sense? Don’t forget the first question!
I scored quite high, but with what I have gone through over the last four years, I have almost resigned to the fact that I will be doing dark soul for the rest of my life in some way or another. I am almost 60, so there is a lot to go through.
I know for sure I will be dealing with my shadow for ever more.
I have always been a person who has helped others whenever asked when I met my, now ex, wife she required a lot of attention. It wasn’t until 20 years later that I found out she was a Grandiose Narcissist. She was so good at it I never saw it. We were separated when I had a terrible accident, in which I died. It still took almost 9 more months for me to figure it out. That was the beginning of my DNOTS (Dark Night of the Soul). Hmmm, that almost spells donuts or maybe do nots. Lol
Anyway, my life changed dramatically after the accident. My wife divorced me, she kept all of my stuff. Even stuff I had before we even met. Some very sentimental at that. That certainly makes one think about material things and what they are really worth.
I am not sure how this says anything about this subject other than how I got here. But the way I am trying to get back to who I was and enjoyed being, is by helping others. Mostly by just being there, listening, earnestly being empathetic to there issues. Genuinely caring about them.
Below is a snapshot of my astrology chart, which I believe tells a lot about a person’s character. Prior to my accident I was totally acting according to my Sun sign. I didn’t know any of my other plant placements. I didn’t really care either. Once I learned about them it changed my thoughts on who I thought I was and who I wanted to be. Learning astrology is not for the feint of heart though. It is very intensive and tedious. After three and a half years I am still learning the nuances. Pi ut
I have a Sun, Mars and Jupiter in Aries. They are all in their perspective decons within Aires. I have a Libra rising, and a moon in Aquarius.
One other aspect that intrigues me is my Mercury is in Taurus, Taurus is ruled by Venus, she also rules Libra, my assention placement. And my Venus is in Gemini which is ruled by Mercury.
And just to add a twist my Saturn is in Pisces, I am not really sure how this placement works. I guess I am supposed to learn to keep an open mind when learning? Uranus is the ruler of Pisces, which is probably why I am interested in the esoteric arts. Saturn is also the ancient ruler of Aquarius, my moon placment. (before they knew of Neptune, Uranus and Pluto)
The outer planets are mostly generational planets, in that they represent a lot of people in the same signs. One thing to note here, people should be more concerned with what is happening around their Pluto than they should be around Mercury retrograde. In my humble opinion.
Secondary progressions are just as important as transits. In some cases more so. Not to mention your MC and Nodes. Unfortunately unless you know someone very knowledgeable, the Secondary progressions, MC, and nodes are not very well covered on the internet. Again, in my humble opinion.
Help!!!!
I feel awful and getting really tired of life. Can anyone help?
all this negativity and bullshit in this society. The political and social situation…the overpopulation,destruction of this planet. I am getting sick and tired. I hate the matrix. I hate work it is a waste of time. Getting older is freaking me out. My mom getting old is scaring and depressing me. I am starting to feel disgusted by the masses/sheep. I wish i could live in nature (forest,mountains etc) without any human contact. Recently i started to have suicidal thoughts and that is alarming. I am getting tired of life and i am only in my 30s.
can anyone relate at least to some extent? Has anyone advice for me?
Hi Artemis,
My heart goes out to you. I know that I’ve felt this way at times, and many other people do as well. The world situation right now is fucking bizarre and tragic. But I also recommend that you take some time to detox and simplify what you psychologically take in. Being bombarded left, right, and center by constant news of wars, pandemics, tragedies, etc., on places like social media, TV, radio, and so on, is like a psychic leech. Yes, we need to know what’s going on in the world, but don’t forget that the news and places like social media push a lot of high-arousal negative news stories. There’s also a lot of good going on in the world, but that’s not as marketable or profitable, so it goes unnoticed and unpromoted, so it seems like it doesn’t exist. Take some time to notice the good in yourself, in others, in the world, and the little beautiful moments and things each day. Set boundaries with yourself, your mind, your time, your energy, and what you choose to consume. You are much more than an isolated and separate being who experiences pleasure and pain and then ends in annihilation. Please look into who you truly are, and there you can find a lot of peace even amid the turmoil (this can help: https://lonerwolf.com/non-duality/). Be gentle with yourself, know you’re not alone, and everything passes. <3
Hey! Thank you for your response. I already do all of the things that you mentioned. I avoid the news/politics. I spend most of my time in nature and it does help a little but i am having a quarter life crisis i guess. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m not ok with the matrix. I want to be free and not waste most of my time in a cubicle so that other people can get rich. I am feeling more and detached from society. I doubt many other people feel like this. I see no purpose in existing in this matrix. I just want to rest and feel happy again. I burnt out in University and i thought it opened my eyes but it also did damage. I feel so unhappy and overwhelmed. Anyway thank you for your reply
Hi Artemis,
It’s fine to feel this way, just validating that it’s okay and normal to feel unhappy and burned out can feel so nurturing.
Look also into the non-duality article I linked above – non-duality goes far beyond just typical self-care and spending time in nature: it examines the very nature of the matrix and the false self that identifies with feelings of depression and anxiety. It’s a deeply illuminating and liberating path. I also recommend Lisa Cairns and the website Liberation Unleashed to go deeper. You’d greatly benefit from contacting a transpersonal therapist too, so I highly recommend that you do that as there’s only so much support that mediums like this can provide. Wishing you the best 🌷
Hey Artemis,
I can confirm most people are aware of the recent f’ery the world is turnng to: Some people knew for decades this was set to happen: Hold on, you deserve the best on this Earth:
Hi Artemis, you are not alone in your thoughts about the world. Right now people are afraid to speak out against the mainstream in fear of reprisal and rejection. Just remember that change is the only constant in the world. Two years from now may look totally different from what it looks like now.
In the last four years I have lost prett much every material thing I owned, and have systematically alienated almost all of my friends and family. Mainly because of my Dark Nights. Yes I regret some of them, but in most.of them it liberated me from the people I needed to get rid of so I could heal and move forward in my life.
The way I felt with this is, I would go to places, mostly bar, where I knew I would not know anyone. I would look around and find someone who was by themselves. I would sit near them and try to strike up a conversation with them. I would try to get them to tell me about their lives. What do they do for a living, do they have kids, etc. Then I would ask personal questions, indicating they didn’t have to answer if they didn’t want to, in the hopes they would tell me the down sides of their situations. I would just sit and listen. If I had any way to help them I would offer it to them in a way that was not obtrusive, but mostly I just tried to be supportive. Just before going our separate ways, I would tell them that they are awesome, don’t let anyone tell them any different, and know that there are people out there who still care, me!! It usually ends up with a huge hug and maybe a tear or two.
It really did benefit both of us. It really reminded the two of us that there are people out there that really do care. Just remember, you are awesome, don’t let anyone tell you any different. And yes I am sending you many blessings and a big hug 🫂.
I am going to be 58 in a few days and have felt like that my whole life. I had an unstable childhood, my whole life has been unstable. I started having suicidal thoughts when I was in the 7th grade and they are pretty constant anymore dealing with my father who bought the house I’m living in and keeps telling me what a fuck up I am and then starts in on my kids who have both achieved college educations. My mom is another one that I can’t deal with who is unstable and depresses the hell out of me! She has turned me away from religion because since she got into it over 40 years she has made it the church of Lynn and nobody wants to listen to her. So yes, I understand completely where you are coming from. I am just glad I am close to 60 and don’t have as much time left as you do, I feel for my kids being so young in this crazy world which is getting crazier every year. I live up in the mountains and bought a cheap teardrop trailer which I enjoy getting out in the wilderness with my dogs and have started reading a lot of books on self help. Getting involved with Lonerwolf is also a good thing as it may help to show you what avenues to take. I am going through hypnotherapy right now but every time I deal with my dad it just sets me back to feeling like a piece of shit so don’t know if it is doing me any good or not. I am not taking the stuff he says as personally anymore which is a good thing. I also am not out looking for mr wonderful either as I have realised that I am attracted to narsissists and am tired of being torn down by them also. All I can say is to take time for yourself to heal your soul and surround yourself with good people or take time by yourself. I can’t seem to meet decent people where I live and all men are looking for from me is to get in my pants so don’t deal with them anymore either. Maybe when both of my parents are gone I will start to love myself for a change. If you have a good relationship with your mom then charish it while she is still here. I wish I had a good relationship with mine.
I’ve scored very high. I’ve been going through this for a few years now post separation. I’m currently not working and living a very simple existence. Im grateful that I moved out of the city to a rural spot in Northern California one month before Covid and also gave up alcohol at the same time. I was very blessed to be close to nature and started making art and spending extensive time in nature. While I loved living in California the cost was prohibited so I recently moved to New Mexico and happy to again be living close to nature in the desert and still making art and spending time outdoors. I try to focus on the positives although money is tight but it’s taught me to radically simplify and treasuring the solitude and reflection but also a very lost about what is next but staying positive that the universe will provide!
Thank you for sharing & best to you David 💗