I tend to make assumptions a lot, about everything and everyone.
While I have mostly learned the hard way that most people don’t actually think, feel and reason the same way I do, I realized long ago that the tendency to make assumptions is a form of naivety that we are all born with to some extent.
Unfortunately, making assumptions – which is closely linked to something known as psychological projection – is not only something that we all do, but it is common for us to suffer greatly at the expense of such a habit.
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If you are a chronic projector you will experience a great deal of anxiety around other people, as well as other unpleasant emotions like anger, disappointment, resentment and prejudice on a daily basis.
Keep reading to discover whether you’re a “serial projector” or not in your daily life.
What is Psychological Projection (In Layman’s Terms)?
What happens when you have a whole bunch of uncomfortable, embarrassing and annoying emotions that you don’t want to unconsciously deal with?
According to famous psychologist Sigmund Freud these emotions are projected onto other people, so that other people become carriers of our own perceived flaws.
Fortunately (or unfortunately) for us, this form of emotional displacement makes it much easier to live with ourselves … because everyone else is responsible for our misery – not us!
As a result of externalizing our emotions and perceiving them in others, we continue suffering terribly, often creating false self-images that portray us as “the victim” or “the good/righteous person” when the reality is that we aren’t.
Common Examples of Psychological Projection
The trick to seeing through the guise of projection is to become aware of the sneaky habitual cycles we get into on a daily basis. Some of the most common examples of psychological projection that we all commit are expanded on below:
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1. “He/she hates me!”
Whether at home, at work or in any other situation, we have all believed that our bosses, co-workers, mother in-laws, extended family members and other people we’ve come in contact with “hate” or “dislike” us for no reason. While we are convinced that the words, intonations and brief looks given to us are reflections of hidden hatred, most of us fail to realize that believing someone “hates us” is often a result of projection. If we have a strong dislike for someone in the first place it is common for us to protect ourselves against this feeling by projecting it into another.
2. “Oh my god, she’s so fat/ugly/slutty!”
How often have you bitched about another woman (or man) whose physical appearance was somehow displeasing to you? You might have felt an immense sense of distaste and dislike for this person, when in fact this chagrin is a protection mechanism veiling your own deeper body-image issues. Likely, you are deeply insecure about your own body, and thus unconsciously project this loathing onto others.
3. “Other people make me uncomfortable.”
Often the anxiety and tension we feel around others is a reflection of the way we perceive ourselves. When we are insecure or have low self-esteem, it is common to perceive the problem as being with other people and not ourselves. This classic form of projection is common amongst those suffering from social anxiety.
4. “If I can do it, other people can as well.”
This is perhaps one of the most nauseating types of projection others make – which, while flattering and motivating in some ways, is completely unrealistic in others. How often have you heard commercials or advertisements with happy shiny people proclaiming, “I lost 30 kilos in 3 weeks – you can too!” or, “I earned $1,245 dollars overnight – you can too!” This is a common example of projection that fails to take into account the fact that everyone has a different level of capability. It is also common for us to personally commit this kind of psychological projection as well. For example, with our children we might think, “If I was a good athlete, she will be as well” or with our co-workers we might think, “If I could organize that project, he can as well.” Often this form of projection creates a lot of frustration and disappointment.
5. “That is gross/bad, get it away from me.”
What we react the most strongly to says the most about what we place the most importance in. For instance, if we can’t stand watching sex on TV this could very well be a reflection of a hidden sexual shame or insecurity we have in ourselves. Homophobia as well is also often a type of projection, especially amongst religious people (for instance, did you know the highest amount of gay porn is consumed by “Bible Belt” states in the US?).
6. “He/she is having an affair.”
The fear that your partner/spouse is having an affair or is untrustworthy is often a reflection of the way you feel about yourself. All normal people functioning in relationships feel attracted to other people at one point or another, and sometimes this self-discovery is met with fear and shame which is then often projected onto the other partner.
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Remember that these six examples only reflect what sometimes happens, not what always happens. For example, your partner may indeed be cheating on you, in which case something must be done about that. However, psychological projection shouldn’t be ruled out either.
We all project in our daily lives to protect ourselves against emotions, thoughts and perceptions that we judge as being too “bad,” “ugly,” “shameful” or “uncontrollable.”
Often these disowned aspects of ourselves form our shadow self and can only be reintegrated through shadow work. This is why it’s important to identify and become aware of what types of projection impact us the most.
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What forms of projection have you experienced in your daily life? Also, if this article has triggered any uncomfortable feelings in yourself, that would be working on – it’s a great opportunity for some inner work!
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Thanks for your useful article. One other problem is that mesothelioma is generally attributable to the breathing of material from asbestos, which is a dangerous material. It really is commonly noticed among employees in the engineering industry who definitely have long experience of asbestos. It is also caused by moving into asbestos insulated buildings for long periods of time, Inherited genes plays a crucial role, and some individuals are more vulnerable on the risk as compared with others.
One favorite of mine is to say ‘the people who work in the pharmacy are aloof. They think they are better than us. They’ve been to college. ” It says I feel inferior to them and wish I had a similar status in society.
Whilst I agree with much of this it could be unhelpful to think you are the one who is projecting all the time especially point 3 (other people make me feel uncomfortable). Many people with social anxiety are very intuitive and can sense when there is something “off” about a person. Narcissists (particularly people with full blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder and this includes covert and communal narcissists) are ALWAYS projecting. They can be very emotionally abusive and their targets (who may well develop social anxiety) can take on the projection (this is known as projection identification). An example is a narcissistic individual calls you selfish, too sensitive etc but THEY are the ones who are self absorbed and exquisitely sensitive to even perceived criticism. It wouldn’t be helpful if other people (often innocently) backed up the narcissist by implying it is the target who has the “problem”. Unfortunately this happens a lot and is an area of psychology yet to be fully explored. Hope this helps someone!
Sorry, but I strongly disagree with stuff said here. It is true that, if people don’t know themselves properly, they often fall for the deception which is projecting, transferring or assuming.
But when it comes to homosexuality, that analysis is utterly wrong and even is used to indoctrinate people that it’s a pathology to criticise homosexuality. To criticise is not the same as to hate. Social engineers, cleverly created the term ‘homophobe’ to try to apply a pathology to all those who find homosexuality not normal, never mind immoral. A phobia is an irrational fear, out of proportion, regarding something. Our disgust towards homosexuality is never because “we fear the unknown”, what an insult to my intelligence, what a poor propaganda statement. We don’t like homosexuality because it doesn’t exist in nature; animals are moved by the instinct to procreate…they don’t have lust!!! Sex is lust, not love (please tell this to Herbert Marcuse)!!! Sex is not a human basic need, no one dies by practising abstinence. Tell feminists that if they want to be responsible, they can start exercising the action of keeping their knickers up and tight more often. All these political correct agendas peculiarly go against reason and science, the exact two points liberals always used against religion. See? Religious people nowadays are the only one who respect reason, logic and science.
Is this supposed to be sarcasm??? Every single part of this comment just proves someone projecting. Animals don’t have lust?!? And only mate with the opposite sex?!? I am NOT a dog owner but most of my friends and family’s dogs find my calf the most attractive thing to hump, along with humping same sex dogs, cats etc. ?!?!?
As an individual, you should probably say “my disgust”. You’re wrong about US being American bigots from an irrelevant past.
I like this but wish people writing on this subject would note that what we see in others may be a projection, but is usually present within them as well. For example, if I accuse someone of being aggressive that is likely true of their behavior. If I am set off by this behavior perhaps their aggression is poking at a complex or reminds me of a time I felt unsafe around similar people, or reflects my fear of my own anger. Analyst Marie Louise Von Franz speaks eloquently on this matter.
It all sounded fine until you got to the whole sex thing; if you’re gonna make statements like that, you should at least cite your data source so others can verify, otherwise it sounds like…. well…. projection
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I hate you
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The word if i can do it, he can do it,it’s something i believe that if someone can do it than i should be able to do it more tham he but there is one thing that backup my mind which is i can’t do anything on my own only with help of God them i can do all thing through he (lord jesus) that strainghting me.