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» Home » Turning Inwards

Freeing Yourself of the Lifelong Sadness You’ve Felt as a Sensitive Person

by Aletheia Luna · Updated: Jan 25, 2025 · 29 Comments

Image of a sad sensitive person standing on the beach

In my time holding space for others and working on myself, I’ve learned that sensitive people – particularly empaths and highly sensitive types – are more prone to emotional issues such as depression and anxiety because of the way they’re wired.

I’ve personally experienced depression and anxiety frequently throughout my life and I have always found the root cause to lie in my finely sharpened senses.

The blessing and curse of being a sensitive person are that we can feel the world deeply, and while that includes feeling its immense beauty, magic and love (the blessing), it also includes feeling the world’s darkness, cruelty and insanity (the curse).


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When we become too consumed in one side of the spectrum of life we suffer terribly.

Without experiencing the beauty of life, we experience only darkness, and without experiencing the darkness of life, we experience a fabricated lie that leaves us unconsciously uneasy and neurotic.

Where Does Deep Sadness Come From?

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Deep sadness occurs in a person’s life for many reasons, ranging from tragedy, to trauma, to chemical imbalance.

But for the sensitive person deep sadness is usually existential; in other words, it involves mourning the self and its relation to life, and life and its relation to the self.

It’s not uncommon for this deep sadness to begin awakening in childhood as the self begins to develop from a young age and starts to perceive itself as “separate” from others.

I call this the fundamental core wound as it is at the very core of all our suffering in life. I will expand on this a bit later.

When we see ourselves as separate from everything, as isolated little islands that are different or somehow unequal to others, we begin developing emotional and psychological complexes.


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We start thinking thoughts such as, “I’m so different,” “I’m so weak,” “I wish I could belong somewhere,” “I wish I could feel at home,” “The world has nothing to offer me.”

All of these feelings and beliefs stem from the unconscious realization that something is not right here and somehow we have been sucked into this “wrongness” that is inherent in all that we see.

This inherent wrongness, this primal anti-truth that is expressed everywhere we look, can be seen in the words, looks, actions, desires, dogmas, perceptions and beliefs of everyone around us – including ourselves.

As sensitive people, we are finely tuned to the tension that always exists between us and “others”: the jealousy, betrayal, insecurity, hatred, and pretension.

We also pick up on the tension within the environment: the abuse, the greed, the destruction.

And lastly, we are fine-tuned to the tension that always exists within us: the self-sabotage, shame, fear, isolation, and the hunger for something “more” kept under a happy, socially approved guise.

The more sensitive we are at the end of the day, the more susceptible we are to seeing through the grand ploy, the great fraudulence of life that makes us feel incomplete and unfulfilled.

But this sensitivity is a great intelligence – and in fact, I would say it is the greatest kind of intelligence there is.

How to Find the Light by Inviting the Darkness In

Image of a person's hand reaching for sunlight symbolic of trying to find oneself

When we talk about being miserable and depressed we usually want to “get rid of it” or “free ourselves of it,” but the truth is that unhappiness is not innately a “bad” thing that must be destroyed.

The only “bad” thing is what we decide to do with those feelings; whether we decide to fully let them pass through us and open ourselves to learn from them – or resist them, hate them, fear them and repress them.

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Repressing, avoiding, hiding and resenting unhappiness is the only really true “sin” here, for it is directly harmful to our well-being both in the short and long term.

The truth is that you are absolutely allowed to feel deeply miserable and unhappy.

This doesn’t mean dramatizing your unhappiness, using your unhappiness to self-sabotage, or using it to self-pity, but realizing that you are allowed to feel sad means realizing that sadness is a normal (and in many cases) necessary human emotion. Without it, many of the greatest lessons of life would never be learned.

In my experience, the greatest lesson to learn as a sensitive person is that we are not who we think “we” are.

Although our sensitivity might make us feel special or victimized on the surface, deeper than that, past our sensations, past our thoughts, past our memories, is the truth of Who We Really Are.

And this glimmer of truth at the very least brings hope, and at the very most shatters your entire self-concept bringing immense liberation, restfulness and inner peace.

So how do we find this glimmer of truth? How do we finally find a place to call “home”; a place where we belong, a place where we can rest?

The problem here lies in our desire to search. We try to use the mind to cure the mind, but it doesn’t work that way.

What we can do instead is to give ourselves the permission to purely experience our suffering, our pain and emptiness – not to dramatize, hate, hide or suppress it – but to consciously feel it and to let it pass through us unhindered.

Consciously experiencing pain without resisting it in any way, shape or form reveals a beautiful miracle: suddenly the pain is not there, suddenly it disappears, suddenly it evaporates in the light of consciousness.

The only way you will believe this is by experiencing it first for yourself.

But what will you discover after the pain is gone?

Silence; a deep, pure, loving silence that exists behind every emotion, thought, belief and sensation.

This silence is also known as “God,” “divinity,” “life force,” “nirvana,” “eternity,” “oneness” and “consciousness.” This is the truth of who you are – and darkness paradoxically opens a doorway to experiencing that light.

Your sensitivity is just as much a gift as it is a curse because it allows you to experience this reality more readily than others.


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Finding Balance

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Once you realize the truth: that your identity (sense of self) is an illusory barrier that unnecessarily prevents you from experiencing the limitlessness that is “you,” you start learning how to laugh at yourself again.

But this often requires practice. De-programming your mind doesn’t always happen in an instant.

As I explored in a previous article, six of the most powerful questions you can ever ask yourself include the following:

  1. Am I this emotion?
  2. Am I this thought?
  3. Am I this physical sensation?
  4. Am I this circumstance?
  5. Am I this body?
  6. Am I this personality?

Yes, these elements all belong to you, and you experience them but are they really “you”?

Who are you? Are you a transient emotion that comes and goes, a thought that rises and ceases, or a body and personality that ages and changes?

Can something so transient and ephemeral really be you? If you are none of these things then, who are you?

Deep, constant self-inquiry will reveal that who you truly are has no name, no form, no identity and no limits.

You are Life itself.

When you allow depression to be your teacher you will see the hidden gift that is has been trying to give you all along: that your true home, your true liberation has been here all along, within you.

You just needed to experience the lie and hopelessness of division to uncover the truth and liberation of what can never be divided.

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About Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is a prolific psychospiritual writer, author, educator, and intuitive guide whose work has touched the lives of millions worldwide. As a survivor of fundamentalist religious abuse, her mission is to help others find love, strength, and inner light in even the darkest places. She is the author of hundreds of popular articles, as well as numerous books and journals on the topics of Self-Love, Spiritual Awakening, and more. [Read More]

(29) Comments

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  1. Looking for hope says

    February 02, 2025 at 5:26 am

    Being highly sensitive is definitely not the greatest intelligence! My HS triggered suicidal thoughts. I’m done with this ugly,cruel and unjust world. Politics is cancer. Males are the root cause of all evil. They hate and fear women. They destroyed this world with their greed. And weak and passive women let them. There is no love in this world but injustice and destruction. Industrial society will destroy this planet. Overpopulation too. Humans deserve hell for what they did to this planet. And nothing and no one gives a shit! No god no universe. There is nothing. And animals suffering also breaks my heart. I can’t adopt them all. I hate being HS. The only thing that helps a tiny bit with HS is trying to be indifferent. But that blocks the good emotions too

    Reply
  2. AnonymousPerson says

    June 30, 2023 at 7:39 am

    Some phrases/terms to google to research on the related topic of sadness on the internet, as a suggestion. 1. Why am I sad for no reason? 2. Possible causes of sadness 3. Sad quotes 4. The importance of sadness 5. Purpose of sadness 6. Tough times in life advice 7. Tough times quotes 8. How to cope with tragedy 9. How to overcome challenges in life 10. What to do if you’re stuck in life. 11. What to do if nothing is working out 12. What to do if you’re feeling overwhelmed 13. What to do if everything is falling apart. 14. What to do if you feel trapped. 15. Emotional first aid.

    Reply
  3. Aletheia Spearitz says

    June 26, 2022 at 11:58 pm

    Thank you. I was directed here after hitting the randomizer button (I love letting the universe choose for me lol it’s a good simple exercise in surrender!) and boy did I need this message right after I spilled my emotions out in response to a twin flame piece. It has gently and lovingly placed me back down on the ground. Thank you author and thank you Universe. I choose faith over fear.

    Reply
  4. Kim says

    October 25, 2021 at 6:04 am

    Now I understand what made me cry myself to sleep as a child. No one ever asked me why my eyes were so swollen and puffy. It was shocking to me and I was sure a telltale sign but no one asked and I was glad because I didn’t know why I was so sad.
    Is this a trait that’s inherited, being a sensitive person or an empath? How do I approach the subject with my (adult) children?

    Reply
    • AnonymousPerson says

      June 30, 2023 at 7:31 am

      You can search up information on “Highly Sensitive Person,” or “HSPs.” It’s a researched term in psychology, after all. You can look up “HSP books,” “Empath books,” or maybe “introvert books,” if that applies to you (Though, not all HSPs are empaths or introverts, though they’re more likely to be.) If you want to start with quicker summaries online, then search “Highly Sensitive Person websites,” “Empath websites,” or “Introvert websites.” You can search “HSP advice,” “Empath advice,” or “Energy Vampire advice.” It’s really a real researched personality type, really, but in secular circles, it’s seen as a neutral characteristic, with both its strengths and weaknesses. In spiritual circles, it’s specifically a good thing. Also in secular circles, one might discuss things like psychic or intuitive abilities involved, while in secular circles, saying that being an HSP or empath makes one “special” or “have supernatural gifts,” is considered offensive, because it places unrealistic expectations on these people, or you may come off as arrogant if you say some nonsense like thinking “You’re saying you have some kind of sixth sense that doesn’t exist to gain attention,” in some secular circles. Take your pick on what perspective you want most, but as you explore, you will find a lot of different perspectives. But I just decided to warn you on what you might encounter.

      Reply
  5. anupam deep says

    July 29, 2020 at 2:26 pm

    hi there,
    My life is undergoing a drastic change since last one year..so much so that i am sometimes unable to cope with that change. Its just unbelievable that so many years of my life(46 years on this planet earth) , i lived so falsely( it sometimes depresses me..so much time wasted)..without me..with other’s expectations being priority in my life. I always felt some thing missing..always felt like alien.More so..i blamed myself for this feeling that something is wrong with me,the way i take the world.Then i started searching myself and guru-hunting started and books and books.Then one day i opened your site…and i felt home here..found my tribe..atlast i am not the only one who feels like that..thanks a lot…great work!!!

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      October 22, 2021 at 11:14 am

      Welcome brother ❤ I hope you are finding more clarity and hope since the last time you wrote.

      Reply
  6. Anna says

    March 08, 2020 at 8:20 pm

    Wow that was very helpful, thanks very much. This is a wonderful site.

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      October 22, 2021 at 11:12 am

      I’m happy to hear that you found this helpful Anna ♡

      Reply
  7. Daryl Eileen says

    January 06, 2019 at 8:46 am

    As I’m reading your article I had tears… To give myself permission without guilt or shame allowing myself to feel this free floating sadness and to be present. I just want to hear the silence and be still. Thank you for reminding me

    Reply
  8. Alyssa says

    October 17, 2018 at 2:06 am

    A tool I have found for releasing the sadness and anxiety is The emotion Code. It is an energy healing that taps into your subconcious to release energy in the form of emotions that no longer serve. In this process, inherited and past life emotions are also released. It is an incredible process and has been truly life changing for me. I am now working on certification so i can share this gift with the world.

    Reply
  9. Alma says

    March 16, 2018 at 11:15 am

    I already knew that there was something that had to be felt with this deep purity that I felt beyond my sad times. Nice to know stuff. Thanks

    Reply
  10. Tina says

    July 29, 2017 at 8:21 pm

    I feel relieved that I discovered this site…thank you, I already enjoy the articles and topics.

    Reply
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