Note: this is a contemplative blog post rather than a traditional article. What Iโm doing here is offering my thoughts and reflections in a more spontaneous way, so you won’t get in-depth or seven-step solutions. Enjoy the ride. :)ย
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A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the deep thinker and their relationship with belonging and craving for aloneness.
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Today I want to explore the deep feeler and why so many of us empathic lone wolves and spiritual wanderers can easily become overwhelmed in this day and age of media overstimulation.
I’ll also share some reflections on finding our way back to the Self through setting clear self-sovereign boundaries.
Yes, You Can Be a Deep Thinker AND Feeler
Before we dive in, I want to point out from the beginning that being a deep feeler and a deep thinker are two sides of the same coin and we all contain both to varying degrees.
Pop psychology would have us believe that weโre either one or the other โ aka., youโre either an introvert or extrovert, an alpha or beta personality, or a scientist or artist.ย
I used to believe, for example, that I was purely a feeler based on my MBTI personality type which is the INFJ.
Then, through life experience (and some comical revelations from Mateo), I realized that Iโm more on the fringe between INFJ and INTJ โ perhaps an INXJ. :-)ย
As Carl Jung โ who was responsible for popularizing the notion of thinkers and feelers, introverts and extroverts โ reminds us,ย
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There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum. Those are only terms to designate a certain penchant, a certain tendency.
So I want to nip in the bud the notion that weโre โeither/or,โ because weโre not. We are nature, and nature is complex.
You can be both introverted and extroverted to varying degrees (and of course, you will edge toward one end of the spectrum more than the other).ย
Also, you can be both a deep thinker AND a deep feeler โ and in fact, one enriches and supports the other.
At the core of the spiritual wanderer is the wild and free energy that longs to embrace and accept all sides, energies, and parts within us.
As poet Walt Whitman once wrote, โI am large, I contain multitudes.โย
So hereโs your permission slip (not that you need one) to embrace and reclaim both sides of you. ;)ย
The Anthropocene, Deep Feelers, and the Curse of Media Overwhelm
Now that weโve clarified the whole thinker/feeler topic, I want to explore just how profoundly exhausting it can be to be a sensitive deep feeler in this day and age.
Weโre living in the age of the Anthropocene or โrecent age of manโโ a term popularized by atmospheric chemist and Nobel laureate Paul Crutzen back in 2000.ย
This is a period of time characterized by huge advancements in globalization, technology, and, unfortunately, mass environmental destruction wrought by humans.
But here I want to zoom into the details of our everyday lives.ย
This is also an age of technology, an age of mass and rapid information exchange โฆ and inevitably, an age of overwhelm and anxiety.
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Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Substack, X, Amazon, Netflix, Twitch, Quora, and a multitude of other information exchange platforms are at our fingertips.
And for us deep feelers and empaths, these platforms can easily become too much, too soon, and too often.
Not only that, but I argue that this โtoo muchnessโ has not just a depleting impact on our bodies and minds, causing us to become fragmented and dysregulated easily, but it also drowns out our own Soulโs voice and authentic yearnings.ย
AND not only is our inner knowing drowned out by the bombardment of otherโs voices, but our creativity is also stifled by the mass recycled mediocrity of what we see and consume (propagated by others whose inner voices have also often been drowned out, and are often just regurgitating hearsay from others).ย
When our creativity is stifled, life feels dead and dull, and we lose touch with what truly makes us feel alive and satisfied on a deep level, beyond the immediate gratification dopamine kick of scrolling, clicking, and liking.
When we are in this state of uncreative, deadened, dysregulated, inner chaos, weโre easier to control, persuade, market to, and keep the system of toxic capitalism and consumerism ticking along.
But thatโs a topic for a whole other blog post.
The Deep Feeler, Self-Sovereignty, and Creating Your Own Rules
I wonder how often youโve walked away from social media or engaging with any rapid information exchange platform feeling uncreative, deadened, dysregulated, or full of inner chaos?
I know that for me, it has happened quite a lot. In fact, thatโs why I decided to write this post in the first place:
Iโm sick and tired of being at the mercy of the algorithms and of mediocre half-thought-out, fast-food content.
As a deep feeling HSP (highly sensitive person) and empath, thereโs only so much I can take on these platforms.
Even spending a minute on Instagram, for instance, immediately lowers my mood and triggers feelings of toxic comparison and anxiety.
Some people go the extreme route and cut off all contact with all forms of social media โ and this is certainly a great option, especially if you find little to no benefit within these spaces.
But for others who want to stay in contact with the few thinkers, authors, creators, and guides out there who produce original, enriching content, weโve got to find a way to combat the overwhelm.
To come back home to ourselves, to the voice and yearnings and creative spark of our Soul, I believe we need to stop being passive consumers.
Instead, we need to be active and self-sovereign participants in these spaces.
Thatโs why I propose, lone wolf personality style, that we create our own rules.
These rules can serve as filters that sift out the second-rate soul-sucking content, and let us focus on what nourishes us.
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These rules also serve as mental, emotional, and energetic boundaries that protect us from feeling overwhelmed, bombarded, and drained of our vitality as deep feelers.ย ย
Questions to Help You Craft Your Own Rules
An essential part of the path of spiritual awakening is reclaiming our self-sovereignty โ which is the lesson that we learn in levels three and four of the spiritual wandererโs journey.
Self-sovereignty is essential because it allows you to take back your time, energy, creativity, and sense of connectedness to life โ itโs a doorway to coming back home to your Self.
Crafting your own rules for consuming and processing information is one powerful way of learning self-sovereignty.
Here are some questions you can ask to help you create your own protective rules as a deep feeler:
- Does this person/content leave me feeling enriched?
- Do I toxically compare myself with this person or these people?
- Is this content unique and thought-provoking or just more of what Iโve already seen/heard before?
- Do I resonate with this personโs energy or approach?
- Does this person position themselves as an untouchable authority that canโt be questioned (cult-mentality alert!)
- Does this person/creator/content seem sincere or merely out to collect likes or attention?
- How biased or extremist is this content and does it encourage reflection or reaction?
- How much and how often do I want to hear from this person/creator/website?
- What limits do I set with who is allowed into my email inbox?
- Does this content reinforce a victim mentality or spread unnecessary rage-baiting negativity?
- When I get older, will I regret filling my mind with this content?
- How much information is too much? When do I set a limit?
- Am I using this information consumption as a way of avoiding my inner feelings?
- How do I know in my body when it has had enough? What are the signs I need to pay attention to?
If you have any other questions to help you craft your own rules, I would love to read them!ย Post them in the comments.
Examples of rules that you could start off with could include:
- I’ll only spend 5-10 minutes on this platform per day.
- The moment I notice rage-baiting or ego-serving attention-seeking, I’m unfollowing/unsubscribing.
- I will sign up for the mailing list of 5-7 people or websites, and that’s it.
- When I don’t resonate with the content of someone any longer, I’m leaving.
- I choose only 1-2 social media platforms to be on.
- I will dedicate 10-20 minutes a week to reading the emails/content from my favorite creators.
- When I start feeling my body tense up, my heart becoming heavy, or my mind entering a dissociated state during my media usage, I’m logging off.
Again, these are only examples, and I recommend that you create your own that are tailored to your unique requirements (but you’re also welcome to use mine).
The rules you create can also change and evolve as your life situation or inner needs shift.
So be sure to keep them somewhere handy (like on your phone’s notes or desktop word document) to adjust them.
***
As deep feeling lone wolves and spiritual wanderers, we need to be our own best friends, protectors, and allies.ย
Thereโs so much information out there that it can cut us off from our own inner source of wisdom, creativity, aliveness, and well-being.ย ย
I hope these thoughts, reflections, and pointers have inspired you in some way to reduce the overwhelm and find more inner groundedness.ย
Hereโs a question for you:
As a deep feeler, how do you avoid overwhelm and come back home to yourself in this day and age?
Feel free to share your answer below!ย
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Media do not take it as real and seriously as it all nowadays depends on the mass influence of marketing and followers. But if you follow your have to have follow the followers ( circle) and then you lose yourself . As the frace all say these days,,,, you can be free, but really it is. You can be free told by others how to be free. :) And then all follow those. ( see the gay pride ,s these days, its not free. But projection . . Just be .
I never liked the term ‘followers’ โ seems culty and lacks the warmth of relationality.
I am not sure what is going on with me right now but I feel so disconnected with the world today. Sometimes I do not read my email for weeks at a time then I get behind I dump some but I have saved all of yours . When I am reconnected I read them. I have no cell phone gave it up to costly do not do facebook or any other. messenger, tic toc etc. Since the solar eclipes I have been worse some say that could be my problem. I live in Eastern Canada where it was widely seen. I did not see it but it could have effected me I too am an empath
Energetically, things are quite intense right now, the world over. So it’s no wonder you’re keeping off your phone and other forms of media, especially if you struggle with the nervous system capacity to cope. Sending love to you Denice ๐
I feel like I am struggling to keep from being sucked into the matrix. Many friends are surely already there.
I try to prioritize real life things like my conservation activities. In summer I tend my garden. I visit 3d people.
Itโs hard when giant corporations are trying to steal your time and get inside your mind.
I like the idea of ‘tending to the 3D’ – and reminding ourselves consistently of the world outside the 2D ones on our screens. Thanks Bill :)
Hi Luna and Sol,
When feeling overwhelmed and full of overthinking, anxiety, fears, and worries I go quiet and find my regular quiet comfort zone here in our flat and be alone for a while.
If the deep feelings are too much to handle ie cannot sleep, cannot cope, or feel lost and useless in my old age I fall back into hypnotic trance states found online on YouTube, which I have mentioned previously. These help me to unwind the physical stress and delete the anxious crap plus the media crap till I re-balance my inner self and feel comfortable. Then I apply other trance hypnotic states which help to bypass my noisy Ego and go deep into the substrata of the Subconscious mind. (The mental sponge)
My favourite male voice, Michael Sealey eases the inner discomfort and stress. As an instructor teacher and a helpful trained person who reprograms the subconscious from Nego Special (cleans out the negative shadow side) with peaceful natural background sounds, like rain, soft water lapping, bamboo sounds, waves coming in, etc. to bring me back to Positive Special (happy balanced positive material} Done as guided self-help meditation and very light trance states which can easily be broken. If used every day in the early morning for 2-4 hours, can build a positive mindset which alter fears from childhood and negative mind talk from my parental days.
Some of these correct me and take me back to total bliss and relaxation. Others are directed towards the healing of old emotional wounds, and regression, eg to holding the hand of the inner wounded child. Or to alter perceptions of the black cat in the dark hole (depression and negative archetypes) to field happier and more positive and loving-kindness approaches to outer life. They can also cover cleansing states for the chakra points, field positive financial abundance, past life regression, etc.
So I hope this covers the Deep Feeler question.
As deep alone ness quiet meditation and trances help to clear the mind and open the heart to The Way, The Light, and The Love. That is Self-love, Love of others.
It is like the Lilly the Pink song, but instead of DRINK, place the word LOVE as in application in every case.
Blessing and love to you both from us Oldies.๏ปฟ๐๏ปฟ
Thank you for these recommendations, John. What we choose to feed our minds on places like YouTube makes all the difference in the world (especially as the algorithms tend to feed you back whatever you gravitate towards watching – a kind of mirror). Iโve been using hypnotic suggestions a lot during my pregnancy so far and theyโre brilliant. Much love ๐
“Does this person/content leave me feeling enriched?”
Oh boy, where do I start with that one? There are so many people that like to engage in conversation who are just looking to out punch-line the last person! Talk about shallow! Their lips are moving but they aren’t really saying anything.
Listening is tiresome.
I keep asking myself, is this all there is to this person??? I had more in-depth conversations with my peers when I was 15yo. What happened?
Listening to Handel is so much more pleasant.
The last line made me smile ๐
Iโm not sure if youโre talking about online or in person, or both, but I can relate to this tiredness with people just wanting to have the last say, be justified or have their egos stroked, or speaking only about themselves. Sensitive thoughtful conversation does indeed seem to be a rarity which is why Iโm grateful for a space like this. Setting boundaries of how much weโre willing to tolerate as deep feelers is crucial in these situations.
Thank you. I am also an INFJ and a HSP and an empath. I have to be really careful with social media. Lots of love & healing x
Lots of love ๐
BIRDS OF A FEATHER
The energy we put out is the energy reciprocated back to us. I’m off all social media platforms yet I am submerged willingly by having a tablet and smartphone. Stuff taking my time is of like minded people. INFJ too which explains why I all ears for your thoughts. Congrats on having a little one coming. All my love goes out to your life’s path.
Thank you, Michael ๐
THANK YOU! You have no idea how timely and applicable this is to me today! Saving this one, for sure!
Iโm so glad you can relate, Renee! ๐
I stay away from news media completely. I had a huge distrust of them before the scamdemic, but that dystopian shitshow they were part of made me fully aware that they are not to be trusted at all. I give no credence to them or the alt-media, as I see them as two sides of the same crooked coin.
I’m only on FB and LinkedIn, making sure I only post uplifting and thoughtful content.
It’s the only way I stay sane as a deep feeler and obsessive thinker.
I like how youโve taken charge by choosing to post uplifting content, Paolo. Thereโs already enough drama and negativity out there, and itโs refreshing to come across thoughtful, heart-centered content. ๐
When I was young we had the โTwilight Zoneโ which I replaced with FakeBook. Sadly I spend too much time โthinning the dubious folksโ so that the rest of the Tribe can safely peruse my site. This was an amazing article to enhance everyoneโs safety zone. With LoveโฆHB.
Thank you Hippie Bob ๐ and I like โFakebookโ haha