The Deep Feeler, Media Overwhelm, and Finding Self-Sovereignty

Note: this is a contemplative blog post rather than a traditional article. What I’m doing here is offering my thoughts and reflections in a more spontaneous way, so you won’t get in-depth or seven-step solutions. Enjoy the ride. :) 

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A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the deep thinker and their relationship with belonging and craving for aloneness.

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Today I want to explore the deep feeler and why so many of us empathic lone wolves and spiritual wanderers can easily become overwhelmed in this day and age of media overstimulation.

I’ll also share some reflections on finding our way back to the Self through setting clear self-sovereign boundaries.

Yes, You Can Be a Deep Thinker AND Feeler

Before we dive in, I want to point out from the beginning that being a deep feeler and a deep thinker are two sides of the same coin and we all contain both to varying degrees.

Pop psychology would have us believe that we’re either one or the other – aka., you’re either an introvert or extrovert, an alpha or beta personality, or a scientist or artist. 

I used to believe, for example, that I was purely a feeler based on my MBTI personality type which is the INFJ.

Then, through life experience (and some comical revelations from Mateo), I realized that I’m more on the fringe between INFJ and INTJ – perhaps an INXJ. :-) 

As Carl Jung – who was responsible for popularizing the notion of thinkers and feelers, introverts and extroverts – reminds us, 

There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum. Those are only terms to designate a certain penchant, a certain tendency.

So I want to nip in the bud the notion that we’re “either/or,” because we’re not. We are nature, and nature is complex.

You can be both introverted and extroverted to varying degrees (and of course, you will edge toward one end of the spectrum more than the other). 

Also, you can be both a deep thinker AND a deep feeler – and in fact, one enriches and supports the other.

At the core of the spiritual wanderer is the wild and free energy that longs to embrace and accept all sides, energies, and parts within us.

As poet Walt Whitman once wrote, “I am large, I contain multitudes.” 

So here’s your permission slip (not that you need one) to embrace and reclaim both sides of you. ;) 

The Anthropocene, Deep Feelers, and the Curse of Media Overwhelm

Now that we’ve clarified the whole thinker/feeler topic, I want to explore just how profoundly exhausting it can be to be a sensitive deep feeler in this day and age.

We’re living in the age of the Anthropocene or “recent age of man”– a term popularized by atmospheric chemist and Nobel laureate Paul Crutzen back in 2000. 

This is a period of time characterized by huge advancements in globalization, technology, and, unfortunately, mass environmental destruction wrought by humans.

But here I want to zoom into the details of our everyday lives. 

This is also an age of technology, an age of mass and rapid information exchange … and inevitably, an age of overwhelm and anxiety.

Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Substack, X, Amazon, Netflix, Twitch, Quora, and a multitude of other information exchange platforms are at our fingertips.

And for us deep feelers and empaths, these platforms can easily become too much, too soon, and too often.

Not only that, but I argue that this “too muchness” has not just a depleting impact on our bodies and minds, causing us to become fragmented and dysregulated easily, but it also drowns out our own Soul’s voice and authentic yearnings. 

AND not only is our inner knowing drowned out by the bombardment of other’s voices, but our creativity is also stifled by the mass recycled mediocrity of what we see and consume (propagated by others whose inner voices have also often been drowned out, and are often just regurgitating hearsay from others). 

When our creativity is stifled, life feels dead and dull, and we lose touch with what truly makes us feel alive and satisfied on a deep level, beyond the immediate gratification dopamine kick of scrolling, clicking, and liking.

When we are in this state of uncreative, deadened, dysregulated, inner chaos, we’re easier to control, persuade, market to, and keep the system of toxic capitalism and consumerism ticking along.

But that’s a topic for a whole other blog post.

The Deep Feeler, Self-Sovereignty, and Creating Your Own Rules

I wonder how often you’ve walked away from social media or engaging with any rapid information exchange platform feeling uncreative, deadened, dysregulated, or full of inner chaos?

I know that for me, it has happened quite a lot. In fact, that’s why I decided to write this post in the first place:

I’m sick and tired of being at the mercy of the algorithms and of mediocre half-thought-out, fast-food content.

As a deep feeling HSP (highly sensitive person) and empath, there’s only so much I can take on these platforms.

Even spending a minute on Instagram, for instance, immediately lowers my mood and triggers feelings of toxic comparison and anxiety.

Some people go the extreme route and cut off all contact with all forms of social media – and this is certainly a great option, especially if you find little to no benefit within these spaces.

But for others who want to stay in contact with the few thinkers, authors, creators, and guides out there who produce original, enriching content, we’ve got to find a way to combat the overwhelm.

To come back home to ourselves, to the voice and yearnings and creative spark of our Soul, I believe we need to stop being passive consumers.

Instead, we need to be active and self-sovereign participants in these spaces.

That’s why I propose, lone wolf style, that we create our own rules.

These rules can serve as filters that sift out the second-rate soul-sucking content, and let us focus on what nourishes us.

These rules also serve as mental, emotional, and energetic boundaries that protect us from feeling overwhelmed, bombarded, and drained of our vitality as deep feelers.  

Questions to Help You Craft Your Own Rules

An essential part of the path of spiritual awakening is reclaiming our self-sovereignty – which is the lesson that we learn in levels three and four of the spiritual wanderer’s journey.

Self-sovereignty is essential because it allows you to take back your time, energy, creativity, and sense of connectedness to life – it’s a doorway to coming back home to your Self.

Crafting your own rules for consuming and processing information is one powerful way of learning self-sovereignty.

Here are some questions you can ask to help you create your own protective rules as a deep feeler:

• Does this person/content leave me feeling enriched?
• Do I toxically compare myself with this person or these people?
• Is this content unique and thought-provoking or just more of what I’ve already seen/heard before?
• Do I resonate with this person’s energy or approach?
• Does this person position themselves as an untouchable authority that can’t be questioned (cult-mentality alert!)
• Does this person/creator/content seem sincere or merely out to collect likes or attention?
• How biased or extremist is this content and does it encourage reflection or reaction?
• How much and how often do I want to hear from this person/creator/website?
• What limits do I set with who is allowed into my email inbox?
• Does this content reinforce a victim mentality or spread unnecessary rage-baiting negativity?
• When I get older, will I regret filling my mind with this content?
• How much information is too much? When do I set a limit?
• Am I using this information consumption as a way of avoiding my inner feelings?
• How do I know in my body when it has had enough? What are the signs I need to pay attention to?

If you have any other questions to help you craft your own rules, I would love to read them! Post them in the comments.

Examples of rules that you could start off with could include:

1. I’ll only spend 5-10 minutes on this platform per day.
2. The moment I notice rage-baiting or ego-serving attention-seeking, I’m unfollowing/unsubscribing.
3. I will sign up for the mailing list of 5-7 people or websites, and that’s it.
4. When I don’t resonate with the content of someone any longer, I’m leaving.
5. I choose only 1-2 social media platforms to be on.
6. I will dedicate 10-20 minutes a week to reading the emails/content from my favorite creators.
7. When I start feeling my body tense up, my heart becoming heavy, or my mind entering a dissociated state during my media usage, I’m logging off.

Again, these are only examples, and I recommend that you create your own that are tailored to your unique requirements (but you’re also welcome to use mine).

The rules you create can also change and evolve as your life situation or inner needs shift.

So be sure to keep them somewhere handy (like on your phone’s notes or desktop word document) to adjust them.

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As deep feeling lone wolves and spiritual wanderers, we need to be our own best friends, protectors, and allies. 

There’s so much information out there that it can cut us off from our own inner source of wisdom, creativity, aliveness, and well-being.  

I hope these thoughts, reflections, and pointers have inspired you in some way to reduce the overwhelm and find more inner groundedness. 

Here’s a question for you:

As a deep feeler, how do you avoid overwhelm and come back home to yourself in this day and age?

Feel free to share your answer below!