What do you think of when you hear the word “prayer”? Usually, prayer is something that most of us associate with religion.
I know that when I hear the word “prayer” it instantly takes me back to the dogmatic teachings of my childhood.
I remember sitting in the pew for years upon years listening to the empty, dull, and formulaic repetitions of the preachers. Sitting there silently, the lack of zest, depth, and authentic feeling underneath these “holy invocations” made my skin crawl.
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I couldn’t understand why talking to God was so openly pious, but inwardly hollow.
For others, prayer is linked with a chintzy, cute, and immature form of spirituality.
I’m talking about that muffin-baking, holier-than-thou, goodly-housewife-born-again-Christian kinda vibe.
You might also associate prayer with people like Ned Flanders from The Simpsons and his progeny, or those squeaky clean Jehovah Witnesses that knock on your door every now and then.
And still, for some people who don’t come from a Western context, prayer might be associated with Salat (Muslim ritualistic prayer), or even the traditional honor of gods and goddesses.
Whatever background you come from, it’s likely that you need to unpack, reimagine, and rejuvenate your thoughts and beliefs about prayer.
Without being open to changing your definition of prayer, you’ll continue to perceive it through the lens of your religious, cultural, or societal conditioning – and usually, those associations ain’t that great!
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I want to invite you to see prayer in a different light, untainted by its somber past. I want to invite you to find the magic in it once more.
Rediscovering the power of prayer has been a humbling yet empowering journey for me. I’d love for you to rediscover its beauty again too.
Before we go any further, I want to start out by saying that prayer doesn’t need to be just a side hustle when it comes to undergoing major life shifts.
Prayer is an ancient practice that deserves a central place in your life.
By helping you to let go, practice humility, and get out of your own way, prayer teaches you to align with the core qualities of growth and spiritual healing.
Pretty amazing for such a simple and unassuming path I’d say!
Why the Power of Prayer is so Undervalued
Of all the spiritual gifts and paths out there, prayer is probably one of the most — if not THE MOST — undervalued.
In fact, I will go so far as to say that prayer is rarely even written about in the self-help field. (And I read through a lot of self-help material out there.)
I mean, how many times have you read, heard about, or seen (non-dogmatic-religious people) proclaim the power of prayer? Probably not much.
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Prayer is a black sheep in the spiritual community.
If it’s not associated with bible-bashing and religious extremism, it’s associated with childish new age forms of spirituality.
So you see, prayer always seems to get a bad rap.
But I think one of the main aversions that we have to prayer is our egotism. After all, we are the “do-it-yourself” society.
We currently value self-sufficiency, strength, and power over all else.
For this reason, prayer can be perceived as somewhat “weak” and self-effacing to the modern mind.
Common misconceptions about prayer include:
The idea that it makes you a failure (because you have to ask for help)
The belief that you’re not worthy of help in the first place
The belief that God/Divine/Source is a spiteful, ruthless, and fearsome force, which makes prayer dangerous
And of course, the multitude of damaging associations with prayer and its murky past
In reality, prayer is often the last thing we resort to when in a crisis. Only after we’ve dried out our last spiritual resources do we think of praying.
The truth is that our lives would change drastically if prayer was the FIRST thing we turned to in a time of need, or even in a moment of gratitude. After all, prayer is a direct bridge to the Divine.
Prayer is also not a “passive” thing, as is so commonly believed.
I held this very belief for a long time. I always thought that saying a few words didn’t really change anything.
In fact, the very act of prayer itself seemed pointless to me, particularly after I left fundamentalist religion. Because of that, I shut myself off to prayer for a long time.
But this mistaken belief about the power of prayer could not be further from the truth. Prayer is actually one of the most active spiritual tools out there.
As author Dostoyevsky once wrote,
Be not forgetful of prayer … prayer is an education.
In other words, not only does prayer open us up to higher guidance, it actually helps us to be receptive to the lessons we most need to learn.
Gifts of Prayer
Prayer has gifted me with so much love and gratitude that I make it my goal to say at least one prayer each day. I have found it to be such an energetic, influential force of change that I can’t do without it!
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Here are some gifts of prayer you’ll receive if you incorporate this practice regularly into your life. Some of these benefits are even scientifically backed:
As you can see, the power of prayer is immense. It can transform nearly every dimension of your life.
How to Practice the Power of Prayer
The inner voice is something which cannot be described in words. But sometimes we have a positive feeling that something in us prompts us to do a certain thing. The time when I learnt to recognise this voice was, I may say, the time when I started praying regularly.
― Mahatma Gandhi
Here’s how to reimagine and rediscover the magic and power of prayer:
1. Be willing to surrender your previous ideas about prayer
As I mentioned above, you might need to go on a “detox” of your perceptions towards prayer. This ‘cleansing’ process might include deeply examining how you feel about prayer, asking where those beliefs came from, and contemplating how to approach prayer differently.
For me, rekindling my love affair with prayer involved sitting down and thinking about the many mistaken beliefs I carried. Journaling and meditation were great allies in this process, as was practicing Lectio Divina.
You’ll know when you have a healthier relationship with prayer when the very thought of praying no longer makes you internally cringe.
2. Choose another name for “God”
You don’t need to be religious to pray and you certainly don’t need to believe in the “bearded-old-white-guy-in-the-sky” (because come on, that’s an outdated and essentially racist and sexist way of thinking about God!)
For prayer to be powerful, you need to think about what the highest possible good looks and feels like to you.
Choose a name to replace the word “God” that feels comfortable and meaningful to you. Examples include Source, Consciousness, Love, Beloved, Divine, Goddess, Shiva, Allah, etc.
3. Pray for what you need, but also what you’re thankful for
God isn’t a pimp. He/She/It doesn’t give you things because you are His/Hers/Its servant. This is what the majority of religious thought would have us believe.
Surrender the idea that God is anything other than a universal source of complete unconditional love.
Let go of the idea that God is there to punish, control or condemn you.
Tune into what God/Divine actually means to you on a deep, heart-felt, soul level.
The true “sin” here is not in denying the existence of God, the true “sin” is believing that God is even capable of hurting you in the first place.
When you’re praying to God, you’re praying to that boundless, egoless source of love that is your True Nature.
This divine source of purity and peace wants the very best for you.
Prayer is a way of communing with this Divine source. Prayer is essentially a way of allowing the Beloved to fulfill its ultimate desire: for you to be happy, whole, and at peace.
Thanking God/Love/Divine will also increase your gratitude for life tenfold.
The more you find to be thankful for, the happier you’ll feel, and the happier you feel, the more you’re thankful for. It’s a beautiful cycle!
You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.
― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
4. Allow your prayer to come from the heart
This is perhaps the most important piece of advice: pray from the heart.
If you don’t, if you repeat by rote old verses, if you say the same thing over and over again, your prayers will feel dead. Your connection to the Divine will perish (at least consciously).
Instead, when you pray, pray from the soul. You don’t need to speak out loud. In fact, my most heartfelt prayers are said silently. (Feel free to experiment with both out-loud and silent approaches – figure out what works for you!)
Making up prayers as you go is also a much more authentic way to pray.
However, if you find a prayer written by someone else that speaks to your heart, by all means, use it! There are no set-in-stone rules here.
God/Divinity doesn’t care what you say, but how you say it, aka. emotional sincerity is what counts.
Here is a sample prayer:
Dear Beloved, all things in my life are sourced from you. Every blessing I have is because of you. My breath is yours, my mind is yours, my heart is yours, my body is yours, my soul is yours, my spirit is yours. I am yours, and you are mine. Let me embody you in my daily life. Let my life become an expression of your radiance and purity. Help me to surrender what no longer serves me. Help me to know what questions to ask and places to look when I am stuck. I give my trust to you unconditionally. I love you. Amen/so may it be.
At heart, I am a mystic. So all of my prayers are mystical and have an ecstatic quality.
You might have another type of heart: the heart of a musician, artist, architect, or philosopher.
Let your prayers embody whatever comes the most naturally to you.
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For you to continue praying, it’s crucial that you reflect on the power of prayer in your life.
How has it helped you in times of need or want, even subtly? How has it filled you with more goodness? What changes has prayer brought to your life?
The more you reflect on prayer, the more you’ll realize what an immense force of good it is in your life.
I strongly recommend keeping a journal to help you reflect upon and learn from this grace-filled experience. (Here’s a free guide on how to journal to support you.)
So tell me, what is your relationship with prayer? Has it been tainted by your religious or cultural context? And if you regularly pray, how has the power of prayer transformed your life?
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Aletheia Luna is a prolific psychospiritual writer, author, educator, and intuitive guide whose work has touched the lives of millions worldwide. As a survivor of fundamentalist religious abuse, her mission is to help others find love, strength, and inner light in even the darkest places. She is the author of hundreds of popular articles, as well as numerous books and journals on the topics of Self-Love, Spiritual Awakening, and more. [Read More]
Thanks for another thought provoking article! I was raised strictly atheist and that has made me hesitate to pray. I love the idea that I can pray to Consciousness. I have a huge respect for consciousness and think about it all the time. It will make it easier for me to pray to that. I find it very powerful that my inner/higher self (or the universe, I don’t know) could be guiding me and communication with that is possible through ‘prayer’. And the idea of “highest good in life is a spiteful, ruthless and fearsome force, which makes prayer dangerous” also resonates with me because sometimes I think if I don’t know who I’m praying to or who is answering the prayer, it could be dangerous. Thinking of it as praying to my inner self/consciousness relieves that anxiety. It removes the sense of danger. So thank you very much again!
One thing I am grateful now is PRAYER, I spent my life very religious is what I called it, tho I never go to church, I have a deep connection w our creator. I always thought it was greedy to pray for myself and spent my life praying for others, and I think that was cus the prayers I said when I was young was God Ill never take another pill I dnt know what it is, Ill never drink this much, ect ect and that started around 11yo when my mother died, and the other prayer for myself I asked, was God please give me cancer I dnt wana be alive but I wil never show the world I am to weak to live so If u cud just give me cancer I wont get treatment and Ill allow myself to die. I never realized I begged for that so much even when I met the love of my life at 22yo stopped doing drugs and felt pure happiness for the first time since my mothers death, UNTIL I became pregnant w my one and only loves child 7yrs later and started to get sick and realized OMG, Ive begged to die so much Ive created cancer just w my thoughts, so I waited a yr to make a mammogram appt and I used that yr to kill the breat cancer I KNOW I MANIFESTED IN MY OWN BODY, my son was about 4yo when I realzied I got myself sick, I kno I cured myself of breat cancer!!, and even as my son is 10, just about 2 yrs if Im lucky ago I WOKE UP to the fact its not GREEDY to pray for urself, Ive had incredible knowledge I was born w, but always denied or had a hard time excepting and since my last psychic awakening, ive promised to except my gifts and DO RIGHT BY MYSELF, THANK U GUYS FOR UR WEBSITE!! IVE BEEN ON THIS JOURNEY MY HOLE LIFE BUT FINALLY BECAME TRULY AWKE TO IT 8YRS AGO, ITS A LIFE TIME JOURNEY, AND WE ARE AWAKENING AND WE WILL GET TO OUR DIVINE STATE ONCE AGAIN!!! AS A WHOLE AS ONE, CUS WE ARE ONE… AGAIN TY SO MUCH FOR UR KINDNESS AND HARDWORK ON THS SITE… MAY U BE BLESSED IN ALL U DO!!
ALETHEIA , I love your writing and Sols. I too have been raised in a strong religious background and have always been sensitive. I am glad I came across your site. THANK YOU FOR SHARING.
I was extremely touched by your article. I still identify with Christianity only in what I believe is it’s essence. And this is what I believe the mystic prophet Jesus was talking about. I have used the ‘Lord’s prayer’ when I have been at the bottom, when I couldn’t even think of what else to pray. It helped me then. It helps me now when I’m not sure what to pour out. But generally i pray what’s on my heart. So, thanks again, I apreciate the honesty of what I have read here.
It is quite interesting to me that this popped up in my timeline today. I have been struggling with this very question for a couple of weeks now. I was once a children’s minister in a Christian religion. My entire childhood and the bulk of my adult life were spent being taught things that never fully resonated with me. There were definitely things about my religious upbringing that set off alarms and left a bitter taste in my mouth. There are certainly things that I cannot accept as truth. Despite that, I have always been a “prayerful” person. It has been a part of my daily routine since I can remember.
Once I began the awakening process, I kept praying but felt inauthentic with the “Dear God” as seems to be the case for many of us! Additionally, your point about feeling like a “failure” when I pray resonated with me because my focus during this process has been on the idea that *I* hold all the answers within, and to seek answers from outside seemed to defeat the purpose…if that makes sense. At any rate, I am grateful for this article because it brought a fresh perspective to me and genuinely helps me look forward to working on reincorporating authentic prayer back into my life.
Thank you for your website. I share your articles with my “Tribe” all the time, and you guys are helping us with so many facets of the awakening and soulwork process.
This was a very enlightening article. Like you, I used to associate prayer with “the bigoted and dogmatic teachings of” religion. That’s why I abhorred the thought of praying. However now I know the “true meaning of prayer” that a bloody youth camp didn’t teach me. I knew that there was something beyond this physical realm that was still one with it, I could just never figure out the proper name for it. And frankly, God didn’t seem to fit it. After reading this though, I think I found the proper name it – “Soul”. So thanks Luna <3
I almost never talk about praying for the irritating feelings and thoughts it evokes in people (irritaiting for me). Like the word God (even worse in english I believe).
But in my case, I didn’t grow up in a very religious environment or oppressive about spirituality.
And since from very young I was interested in everything spiritual, and nobody could answer my questions, my mother asked me if I wanted to go to the church (and later receive the first communion in the catholic church). That wasn’t something common in my family, nobody has done that, not even later my siblings.
I obviously wanted to learn badly, and waited a couple of years until nine to start.
But, like you, I’m more of a mystic (a couple of years back I started to use that word, because I don’t really like to define myself and that is a broad term).
Religions isn’t for me.
They not only couldn’t answer the majority of my questions, they even not bother to give a non silly one.
So I grew in dislike for everything Christian, waiting for it disappearance (with the other religions too).
But I never stop praying. I already did it before and I kept doing it.
And even to this day, despite isn’t my first resource, I do some kind of prayer all days.
I use more the command of intentions and other things.
At the time was incredibly useful for me. I used to do it before sleep, mainly to give thanks (very few times to ask for things), and then dwell in that state, losing awareness of time.
That opened the way to a lot of more things.
And about the experience of a higher force, I always experienciate it like a dark void (and the first time was during my brief Christian period).
Although I described it in words like the space, isn’t really like that for me. There are no stars, there are nothing. But it feels full of life. And sometimes it may or may not appear a bright white light.
I did pray in the past, and at some points it really gave me a sense of connectedness and it’s also the only times I could be completely honest and vulnerable to myself. I must admit that I tried to avoid prayer because it’s very closely identified with ritualistic religions. But not until a couple of days ago, I surprisingly considered doing prayer again. I resisted at first because I don’t like calling “God” like you mentioned, I felt uncomfortable anthropomorphising or giving names to the boundless, divine love that I can’t describe. Yup I think I need to try your advice and start praying again.
Synchronicity is always full of surprises :)
Thanks Luna
I love your description of the divine Ika, “I felt uncomfortable anthropomorphising or giving names to the boundless, divine love that I can’t describe.” For me this is so true as well! It is really an impossible task to put a name to this experience … any name you choose won’t really do it justice. I chose a name (“beloved” inspired by the sufis) simply out of practicality.
Do start praying again, and you will see the benefits arise soon!
This is an amazing article! I so can relate to it! I grew up with ritualistic prayers. I realised that the fixed prayers that i grew up with caused anxiety just thinking of performing them and while doing them I just couldn’t wait for it to be over. I performed them with no heart and just did it out of fear based duty. I think the prayers I grew up with are beautiful and benneficial at its core but decided to step back from them while I try to get rid of the negative feelings I associate them with. If I’m able to free myself from these views I would like to bring it back in my life but for now I enjoy free unritualistis prayers that come from my heart, instead of worrying if my prayer was accepted just because I didn’t say or do something the right way! Peace unto you! :)
$3
Thanks for another thought provoking article! I was raised strictly atheist and that has made me hesitate to pray. I love the idea that I can pray to Consciousness. I have a huge respect for consciousness and think about it all the time. It will make it easier for me to pray to that. I find it very powerful that my inner/higher self (or the universe, I don’t know) could be guiding me and communication with that is possible through ‘prayer’. And the idea of “highest good in life is a spiteful, ruthless and fearsome force, which makes prayer dangerous” also resonates with me because sometimes I think if I don’t know who I’m praying to or who is answering the prayer, it could be dangerous. Thinking of it as praying to my inner self/consciousness relieves that anxiety. It removes the sense of danger. So thank you very much again!
One thing I am grateful now is PRAYER, I spent my life very religious is what I called it, tho I never go to church, I have a deep connection w our creator. I always thought it was greedy to pray for myself and spent my life praying for others, and I think that was cus the prayers I said when I was young was God Ill never take another pill I dnt know what it is, Ill never drink this much, ect ect and that started around 11yo when my mother died, and the other prayer for myself I asked, was God please give me cancer I dnt wana be alive but I wil never show the world I am to weak to live so If u cud just give me cancer I wont get treatment and Ill allow myself to die. I never realized I begged for that so much even when I met the love of my life at 22yo stopped doing drugs and felt pure happiness for the first time since my mothers death, UNTIL I became pregnant w my one and only loves child 7yrs later and started to get sick and realized OMG, Ive begged to die so much Ive created cancer just w my thoughts, so I waited a yr to make a mammogram appt and I used that yr to kill the breat cancer I KNOW I MANIFESTED IN MY OWN BODY, my son was about 4yo when I realzied I got myself sick, I kno I cured myself of breat cancer!!, and even as my son is 10, just about 2 yrs if Im lucky ago I WOKE UP to the fact its not GREEDY to pray for urself, Ive had incredible knowledge I was born w, but always denied or had a hard time excepting and since my last psychic awakening, ive promised to except my gifts and DO RIGHT BY MYSELF, THANK U GUYS FOR UR WEBSITE!! IVE BEEN ON THIS JOURNEY MY HOLE LIFE BUT FINALLY BECAME TRULY AWKE TO IT 8YRS AGO, ITS A LIFE TIME JOURNEY, AND WE ARE AWAKENING AND WE WILL GET TO OUR DIVINE STATE ONCE AGAIN!!! AS A WHOLE AS ONE, CUS WE ARE ONE… AGAIN TY SO MUCH FOR UR KINDNESS AND HARDWORK ON THS SITE… MAY U BE BLESSED IN ALL U DO!!
ALETHEIA , I love your writing and Sols. I too have been raised in a strong religious background and have always been sensitive. I am glad I came across your site. THANK YOU FOR SHARING.
I was extremely touched by your article. I still identify with Christianity only in what I believe is it’s essence. And this is what I believe the mystic prophet Jesus was talking about. I have used the ‘Lord’s prayer’ when I have been at the bottom, when I couldn’t even think of what else to pray. It helped me then. It helps me now when I’m not sure what to pour out. But generally i pray what’s on my heart. So, thanks again, I apreciate the honesty of what I have read here.
It is quite interesting to me that this popped up in my timeline today. I have been struggling with this very question for a couple of weeks now. I was once a children’s minister in a Christian religion. My entire childhood and the bulk of my adult life were spent being taught things that never fully resonated with me. There were definitely things about my religious upbringing that set off alarms and left a bitter taste in my mouth. There are certainly things that I cannot accept as truth. Despite that, I have always been a “prayerful” person. It has been a part of my daily routine since I can remember.
Once I began the awakening process, I kept praying but felt inauthentic with the “Dear God” as seems to be the case for many of us! Additionally, your point about feeling like a “failure” when I pray resonated with me because my focus during this process has been on the idea that *I* hold all the answers within, and to seek answers from outside seemed to defeat the purpose…if that makes sense. At any rate, I am grateful for this article because it brought a fresh perspective to me and genuinely helps me look forward to working on reincorporating authentic prayer back into my life.
Thank you for your website. I share your articles with my “Tribe” all the time, and you guys are helping us with so many facets of the awakening and soulwork process.
Much love,
Michelle
I believe prayer is a quality not an act.
This was a very enlightening article. Like you, I used to associate prayer with “the bigoted and dogmatic teachings of” religion. That’s why I abhorred the thought of praying. However now I know the “true meaning of prayer” that a bloody youth camp didn’t teach me. I knew that there was something beyond this physical realm that was still one with it, I could just never figure out the proper name for it. And frankly, God didn’t seem to fit it. After reading this though, I think I found the proper name it – “Soul”. So thanks Luna <3
I almost never talk about praying for the irritating feelings and thoughts it evokes in people (irritaiting for me). Like the word God (even worse in english I believe).
But in my case, I didn’t grow up in a very religious environment or oppressive about spirituality.
And since from very young I was interested in everything spiritual, and nobody could answer my questions, my mother asked me if I wanted to go to the church (and later receive the first communion in the catholic church). That wasn’t something common in my family, nobody has done that, not even later my siblings.
I obviously wanted to learn badly, and waited a couple of years until nine to start.
But, like you, I’m more of a mystic (a couple of years back I started to use that word, because I don’t really like to define myself and that is a broad term).
Religions isn’t for me.
They not only couldn’t answer the majority of my questions, they even not bother to give a non silly one.
So I grew in dislike for everything Christian, waiting for it disappearance (with the other religions too).
But I never stop praying. I already did it before and I kept doing it.
And even to this day, despite isn’t my first resource, I do some kind of prayer all days.
I use more the command of intentions and other things.
At the time was incredibly useful for me. I used to do it before sleep, mainly to give thanks (very few times to ask for things), and then dwell in that state, losing awareness of time.
That opened the way to a lot of more things.
And about the experience of a higher force, I always experienciate it like a dark void (and the first time was during my brief Christian period).
Although I described it in words like the space, isn’t really like that for me. There are no stars, there are nothing. But it feels full of life. And sometimes it may or may not appear a bright white light.
I did pray in the past, and at some points it really gave me a sense of connectedness and it’s also the only times I could be completely honest and vulnerable to myself. I must admit that I tried to avoid prayer because it’s very closely identified with ritualistic religions. But not until a couple of days ago, I surprisingly considered doing prayer again. I resisted at first because I don’t like calling “God” like you mentioned, I felt uncomfortable anthropomorphising or giving names to the boundless, divine love that I can’t describe. Yup I think I need to try your advice and start praying again.
Synchronicity is always full of surprises :)
Thanks Luna
I love your description of the divine Ika, “I felt uncomfortable anthropomorphising or giving names to the boundless, divine love that I can’t describe.” For me this is so true as well! It is really an impossible task to put a name to this experience … any name you choose won’t really do it justice. I chose a name (“beloved” inspired by the sufis) simply out of practicality.
Do start praying again, and you will see the benefits arise soon!
This is an amazing article! I so can relate to it! I grew up with ritualistic prayers. I realised that the fixed prayers that i grew up with caused anxiety just thinking of performing them and while doing them I just couldn’t wait for it to be over. I performed them with no heart and just did it out of fear based duty. I think the prayers I grew up with are beautiful and benneficial at its core but decided to step back from them while I try to get rid of the negative feelings I associate them with. If I’m able to free myself from these views I would like to bring it back in my life but for now I enjoy free unritualistis prayers that come from my heart, instead of worrying if my prayer was accepted just because I didn’t say or do something the right way! Peace unto you! :)
Peace <3