Let me start with the facts: I used to be really into the idea of twin flames.
In fact, I was so intrigued by the idea that not only did I write some of the most highly read articles on the internet about it, but I also created a 20,000+ member Facebook group on it, AND I co-wrote an entire book about it that accumulated over one hundred 4.5 star reviews on Amazon.
Someone the other week even commented that I was “you know, the twin flame authority on the internet,” for which I immediately cringed because that’s certainly not what I want to be known for (but Mindful Shadow Work or the Spiritual Awakening Process? Yes please).
Spiritual Wanderer Course:
Being a lone wolf and a spiritual wanderer is a sacred calling in life – a unique and alchemical path of awakening. You don’t need to feel lost, alone, or stuck on your journey any more. It’s time to meet your soul’s deep needs for clarity, self-acceptance, and empowerment. Let us show you how …
Having started my romantic relationship before the whole twin flame craze back on the 11th of November 2011 (yeah, I know, 11.11.11, one of many “twin flame numbers”), on some level, it once felt like destiny for me to write about twin flames. Love, after all, has been such a transformative catalyst for me that I wanted to share my journey with others.
But very rapidly, I started to realize that not only did I have no passion for continuing down the twin flame road, but the path actually nauseated me, and I began seeing more and more how the idea could be toxic and easily misused.
While I attempted to provide some kind of grounded and psychospiritual understanding of this twin flame concept in the book I authored, the message just didn’t get through. Instead, I would witness over and over again how such an idea could be used to justify narcissistic, codependent, and otherwise toxic relationships.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
You can’t build a stable foundation upon an idea propagated by the new age movement that is defined by push-and-pull psychodrama dynamics, so I’ve had to let it go – and all the many hours of work I’ve put into it through the years.
Needless to say, I’ve since taken this entirely off my plate, handed the twin flame Facebook group over to someone else, redirected all the articles on this website about twin flames, and unpublished the twin flames book.
As someone who takes pride in their work and wants it to be as helpful and healing as possible, this has been a big personal blow and a true lesson in humility for me.
In this totally rewritten and revamped article, I’m going to explain firstly what is a twin flame (as I once understood it) and why I feel like the twin flame idea can be more harmful than helpful. Buckle up.
Table of contents
- What is a Twin Flame?
- 21 Twin Flame Signs
- 7 Reasons Why the “Twin Flames” Idea Can Be Toxic and Disempowering, aka., Why I Abandoned the Notion
- 1. The notion that your twin flame completes you or is the “other half of your soul” is anxiety-provoking and disempowering
- 2. The idea of having a “twin flame” can cause people to stay in relationships that are unhealthy and blatantly toxic
- 3. The “runner and chaser” twin flame dynamic can lead to people feeling obligated to deal with bad behavior and trapped in abusive relationships
- 4. The belief that having a twin flame will solve all your problems is a lie
- 5. The twin flame idea has caused many people to abandon their healthy and functional relationships in favor of an illusory ideal
- 6. The twin flame notion misses the whole point of spiritual partnerships
- 7. There are scam artists and sharks who smell the blood of emotional vulnerability in the water and are using it to their benefit
- What Term I Use Now
- Final Words
What is a Twin Flame?
Here’s the original definition I shared in the chapter I wrote on twin flames in the twin flame book that I’ve since unpublished:
Shadow & Light Membership:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐ "Shadow and Light’s weekly guidance always rings true to my heart. Thanks for acknowledging my shadows and inviting my inner light. I always get excited to open the Shadow and Light emails on Sunday!" – Angela M.
Your twin flame, or twin soul, is a person with whom you are destined to feel connected on a physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual level. A twin flame is a person who’s your friend, lover, and teacher in this life.
21 Twin Flame Signs
Some signs of a twin flame that I later shared in the book were the following:
- You feel a strange, inexplicable sense of “recognition” when you meet the person.
- You have a feeling that they are going to play a crucial role in your own development.
- You’ve established an immediate, intense connection.
- You feel as though you’ve finally found a “home” or safe place with the other person.
- You can be your authentic self.
- You both embody the yin and yang.
- You feel a sense of expansion with them, as though you are larger than your limited identity.
- They make you a better person, and you make them a better person.
- When together, you are both bonded but free, attached but unattached.
- You are finely tuned to their energy, and they are finely tuned to yours.
- You feel as though you have been waiting for this person your entire life.
- You both connect deeply and mirror each other’s values and aspirations for life.
- Your twin flame is a mirror of what you fear and simultaneously desire the most for your own inner healing.
- Your childhoods were polar opposites.
- One of you is more spiritually mature than the other and often serves as the teacher, counselor, or confidant within the relationship.
- You are taught important life lessons such as forgiveness, gratitude, empathy, and open-mindedness by them and alongside them.
- Your connection is multi-faceted (they are your best friend, lover, teacher, and muse all at once).
- The most growth you’ve ever experienced has been with them.
- Your twin flame doesn’t try to change you. They accept you for who you are and what stage you’re at and encourage you to do the same for yourself (and vice versa).
- You can be truthful with each other about anything.
- Together, you both feel driven towards a higher purpose.
Now, most of these signs seem pretty innocent, right?
The problem with the twin flame idea is not so much the signs (although depending on the voice behind detailing them, it can be a problem) but how the concept is applied to everyday life.
7 Reasons Why the “Twin Flames” Idea Can Be Toxic and Disempowering, aka., Why I Abandoned the Notion
Now, here’s the thing: if you love and have found benefit in the idea of having a twin flame, that’s wonderful. You do you. I’m not here to try to change your mind because I trust in your ability to make the right decisions for your own life.
Hopefully, something I wrote about this topic in the past helped you, and I wish you all the best in your relationship with yourself and your partner moving forward.
But personally, as hard as I tried to make the twin flame idea work for me, and as much as I tried to make it a viable, down-to-earth reality, it became increasingly obvious through the years that I had to extricate myself from it completely.
Here are seven reasons why the twin flame idea can be toxic and disempowering and why I’ve decided to move on from the notion altogether:
1. The notion that your twin flame completes you or is the “other half of your soul” is anxiety-provoking and disempowering
Firstly, can you imagine how humungous a burden it is to place on someone else’s shoulders the responsibility of “completing” you or even being the “other half” of your literal soul? That’s an immediate recipe for dysfunction and horrific codependency in my book.
The twin flame notion is an anxiety-provoking idea that disempowers us because it makes our wholeness entirely dependent upon someone else and what they do or don’t do. Can you see how messed up that is?
Besides, it is my deep experience and realization that the Soul is innately whole and complete; it’s just the fragmented mind that believes otherwise. As such, how can someone else be the “other half” of your Soul?
Would you like to save this?
We'll email this article to you, so you can come back to it later!
Your information will never be shared.
We need to question our spiritual beliefs carefully because they can be the difference between mental peace and psychological torture.
2. The idea of having a “twin flame” can cause people to stay in relationships that are unhealthy and blatantly toxic
Hearing from a friend of mine that the twin flame idea caused her to stay in a toxic relationship long past its expiry date because she believed “he was her twin flame” made me want to scream and cry at the same time.
The reality is that I’ve seen this happen a lot, particularly on the twin flame Facebook group I used to be an admin of for about five years. There were so many people in that group claiming to have twin flames, but when they described their connections, they were clearly one-sided or else utterly toxic and harmful.
When we get into our minds the idea that someone is our twin flame due to confirmation bias, it can be an extremely hard belief to shake. After all, it makes us feel special and shrouds our relationships in a kind of holy glow that we’re less likely to want to give up.
3. The “runner and chaser” twin flame dynamic can lead to people feeling obligated to deal with bad behavior and trapped in abusive relationships
The push and pull experience in relationships is common, aka., things are normal, we get into an argument, then we make up. Fairly typical, right?
The issue with the idea of twin flame relationships is that they’re largely defined by something known as a “runner and chaser” stage, where one person is pulling away from the relationship, and then the other is pursuing that person and trying to bring them back. Perhaps things work out for a while, and then again, the runner and chaser pattern happens.
Now, I have heard of people getting into some pretty blatantly abusive relationships and yet saying things like, “Oh, she totally ghosted me and pretends I don’t exist: we’re in the runner and chaser stage,” or “he’s behaving in such a controlling way because he’s the chaser and I’m the runner.”
In psychology, this push and pull dynamic is known as the Cycle of Abuse where tension builds, there’s an incident of abuse, reconciliation occurs, and then a period of calm before the cycle starts again.
So what abuse do people tend to justify in twin flame relationships? Some of these abusive tactics can involve things like:
- Being overly controlling (restricting what you do, who you see, where you go)
- Shaming and blaming you
- Criticizing and putting you down
- Guilt tripping or emotionally blackmailing you
- Humiliating you in front of others
- Controlling your finances
- Displaying extremely possessive or jealous behavior
- Ridiculing and dismissing you
- Accusing you of unfaithfulness
- Neglecting you (e.g., emotional withholding, silent treatment)
- Spying on or monitoring you
- Gaslighting and hoovering you
- Playing mind games with you
- Abandoning and ghosting you
You get the picture. What I’ve shared above is emotional and psychological abuse – but physical abuse can and does enter the picture as well.
All of the above abusive tactics, and more, have been suffered yet justified in the name of being in a “twin flame relationship.” But there’s a big difference between a healthy and satisfying relationship and one that is mentally, emotionally, or even physically toxic.
4. The belief that having a twin flame will solve all your problems is a lie
The notion of having a “harmonious twin flame union” that will provide you with utter peace, fulfillment, and unending joy sounds magical on the surface. But the reality is that we are all imperfect beings with flaws, annoying quirks, and traumas to work through.
We will inevitably feel a lack of peace, an absence of fulfillment, and other uncomfortable emotions at times, and that is totally normal. It’s part of being human, and we don’t need to pathologize and run away from it into a romantic fantasy.
The “happily ever after” and “eternal union” story is one of the best marketing gimmicks. But the honest truth is that we don’t know if our love will last forever. We don’t know if our relationships will be our “happily ever after,” even though we may desperately need and want them to be.
This doesn’t mean we become cynical and denounce love and relationships completely, but it does mean that we become more grounded and realistic. In my experience, the more realistic and down-to-earth we are in our relationships, the healthier and stronger they become.
5. The twin flame idea has caused many people to abandon their healthy and functional relationships in favor of an illusory ideal
This is one of the saddest parts of the twin flames nonsense. So many good, mutually respectful, and healthy relationships have ended because one person within the couple has found someone else who they believe is their “twin flame” – and therefore, they feel the need to abandon their current relationship in favor of their ideal one.
Illumination Books Bundle:
Discover the hidden dimensions of your soul with our Illumination e-book series – your complete companion for self-understanding and spiritual growth. Each book serves as a lantern in the darkness, guiding you toward clarity, purpose, and inner peace.
Positioning the supposed “twin flame relationship” above other relationships as superior is harmful, toxic, and life-destroying for many people.
Imagine this: everything was harmonious in Jane and Bob’s relationship until one day, Bob discovered the twin flame idea, and BOOM. Now, Bob is no longer happy because his relationship doesn’t meet his fantasy spiritual ideal. He realizes that the crush he has at work on the receptionist must be his “true twin flame” because they have such a “fiery spark” – and so he abandons his wife in pursuit of this newer, more ideal twin flame relationship that will apparently fulfill his every need, make him whole and complete, and give him eternal happiness.
It sounds crazy, but this shit actually happens. And it breaks my heart.
6. The twin flame notion misses the whole point of spiritual partnerships
As Antoine de Saint-Exupery once wrote,
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
The twin flame idea promotes this kind of sickly preoccupation with the other person, what they’re doing, and how much happiness they’re bringing you – and whether they’re your “true” or “false” twin flame.
But this is all a distraction, in my opinion, as the point of a spiritual partnership isn’t to obsessively fixate on the other but to work towards making this world a better place.
Perhaps the twin flame notion is just a result of our hyper-individualistic narcissistic society that elevates the individual and their happiness above everything else. Perhaps that’s just a cynical observation.
Either way, the unhealthy preoccupation and obsession with another idealized person who is the “missing half of your soul,” to the exclusion of everything and everyone else, is self-absorbed and missing the point of love-centered spirituality.
7. There are scam artists and sharks who smell the blood of emotional vulnerability in the water and are using it to their benefit
As documentaries such as Escaping Twin Flames and Desperately Seeking Soulmate: Escaping Twin Flames Universe have come out, it has become increasingly clear that the twin flame idea has caused many to get sucked into disturbing and controlling cult-like groups.
Being raised in a fundamentalist religious cult-like environment, this is extremely disturbing to me and something that triggers feelings of anger and regret that I got into the whole twin flame thing in the first place (although, with self-compassion, I can understand why).
The highly emotional nature of the twin flame idea has led some scam artists who claim to be twin flames to charge huge amounts of money to access their services – I’m talking in the thousands of dollars range.
There is so much I could say about this, but I want to keep what I write simple and direct and encourage you to please exercise caution.
Paying thousands of dollars for courses and coaching packages that promise you to find your twin flame is not just ridiculous but, in my opinion, unethical to a criminal degree.
Keep your money and find someone who’s actually trained as a licensed relationship counselor – you’ll be much better off in the long run, financially, emotionally, and psychologically.
What Term I Use Now
As much as I dislike the twin flame label, I do appreciate the value and power of relationships as a spiritual catalyst. I have an article dedicated to the many soul ties we experience in relationships.
Since I’ve dropped using the “twin flame” term, I much prefer the term “spiritual relationship” or even just soul mate, as that feels more accessible and available to everyone, not just a select few who pay $7777 in a workshop to be matched with their “true twin flame” – or through divine cosmic intervention happen to find “the one.”
Final Words
If you’ve got this far, congratulations. I hope you feel more liberated from the twin flame idea by now – since dropping the label, I certainly have! And I’m never looking back.
Please be mindful and careful when navigating these murky waters.
Yes, there may be many well-intentioned, ethical people out there who talk about twin flames. But there are also many unethical and money-grabbing snakes out there ready to sink their teeth into the most desperate and lovesick among us, promising them fantasies and castles in the clouds.
Remember that twin flames won’t and don’t complete you. Your wholeness doesn’t depend on finding another person – this belief is a recipe for suffering, so let it go. True happiness and wholeness originate from within you.
You are the one you’ve been waiting for.
Further reading:
Whenever you feel the call, there are 3 ways I can help you:
1. The Spiritual Wanderer Course: Need "big picture" direction, clarity, and focus? Our Spiritual Wanderer course is a crystallization of 10+ years of inner work, and it can help you find your deeper path and purpose in life as a spiritual wanderer. You get 3+ hours of audio-visual content, workbooks, meditations, a premium test, and more!.
2. Shadow & Light Membership: Want weekly intuitive guidance to support you on your awakening path? This affordable membership can help you to befriend your dark side, rediscover more self-love, and reclaim inner wholeness.
3. Spiritual Awakening Bundle: Looking for a collection of all our essential transformative resources? You get five enlightening ebooks, seven in-depth journals, plus two empowering bonuses to help you soul search, heal, and awaken.
Read so many stories on twin flame no one has come close to what I have experience.
It’s all about Energy
I have met my twin flame although we were friends at first for 4 years as I helped him through a broken marriage and an abusive relationship. We have now been in a relationship for 5 weeks and are still shocked by the intensity and depth of our feelings for each other. Neither of us has ever known a relationship like this. It isn’t easy too as we live in a small town and both have history here and there is a 20 year age gap which would, if the relationship became known, cause speculation and gossip. In spite of this we feel as though we have always known each other, finish each other’s sentences, send texts at exactly the same time, feel at peace and complete when we are together for the first time in our lives. He is overseas at the moment and as we talked of getting married as soon as possible he looked at the clock where he is and said, “The time is 11:11 here”. He wasn’t aware of the significance of 11:11 and synchronicity and I emailed him your article on the topic. Thank you :)
Well, maintaining a friendship while feeling a twin flame connection takes strength. Twin flame connection is true love. What ever created us (beliefs private) has also built in a free-will component to create values in life or do we have free will because there are values in life. This creator also created self respect to bring us to our senses in a world gone inappropriately reliant on other people as a higher power as to what we look for as evidence to feel okay about our self according to what other people do. I found a dollar on the floor does anybody have an opinion. A twin flame connection is said to be true love and this includes: intimacy, passion, and companion love. Makes me think of soup. They say this is how soup love is measured. If your twin is already involved in a relationship then this concept: they-are-committed-to-another-human-being is important regardless of what word I could type next “but this but that but but but but- They’re involved, its complicated. The environment is a strong influence (huge pause) to what a person decides to do. What a person decides to do, what is right for them from their daily experience, is their free will. They have to state what they need. That is their responsibility. Not to discourage someone here, the first time we ask for what we need we usually stumble, Because we stumble we get up and it should not take a weapon to another person’s head for them to find the free will to get up. Nonetheless whatever control over within ourselves is what we have within ourselves and what we have control we have over another human being is limited by their free will which will be in effect to cause distance if another person’s control over them is more than what they are comfortable with. Whether an effort to work through difficult times is present or absent, ultimately the twin flame relationship- together or apart- is a respectful one- because of their experience meeting. The purpose is to realize and respect free will and to honor oneself. Together or apart, respect exists so if there is disrespect happening it could be because of communication. Without communication trust breaks down. So what ever you two decide I hope you maintain respectful communication and honor times when peace could be needed. Good luck
When I met my twin flame, that “earthquake” stuff is no joke. I was sitting down in a classroom, from the corner of my eye I saw him walking over. I didn’t really care, it was normal we would almost always sit in a small group. But right there, my head between to spin slightly and the room shifted as if something changed. When it was over I looked around a Lil freaked out. A lot of things happened since then, I left because he wanted me to around while he fooled around with everyone else. I remember crying everyday for my broken heart, Lil by Lil I stopped talking to him and he eventually stopped too. Ofc He kept secrets about who he is and what he’s done. But rumors spread and I believed them because it was what I saw when we were friends. I started to loath him so much that my hatred over flooded the love I no longer remember. Before graduation we would play cat and mouse, talking to the other and ignoring the other. It went like that for a while but then He stopped defending me instead he would laugh(childish). Sometimes I’d find him stare and when I did, he’d look away but I know he sees me stare him down “I saw you ,” Look. I’m disappointed. He’s been trying to connect me through lucid dreams, I soon found out that he’s a sleep Walker. He invaded my mind at my vulnerable state, so I got angry and told him to stop. I no longer have dreams of him.
Once at a party thrown by what I believe is my twin flame, I was at the center of conversation in a large group outside. She steps outside, says my name to get my help(keep in mind we’ve never dated or anything) , and the way she said it made what felt like every cell in the whole universe stopped in ecstasy for an eternal moment. Please I’d love to know if this is a common twin flame experience. Thank you:)
What about dream sharing/communication… I’ve always dreamt of her when she needed me… We can’t talk in waking life… We dreamt of each other within three days, possibly the same night… Triggering phone contact
I’m actually interested in the answer to this too. Because I have unexplainable dreams, suspect they can’t be understood through logic, but then they also can’t make sense unless I “believe” in such things which I feel doesn’t really make sense at all. There isn’t anything to verify my intuition because talking isn’t possible for me either. So I suppose it’s just a matter of learning how to let go of attachment.
So, the quiz said that, I have found my twin flame. But you know one thing ,he’s neither a human nor an animal. He’s god ,whom I call Edward. And he really is my twin flame.
Very informative, literally describes my relationship to the tea. So my question is how long does stage 5/6 last. How do you come out of it. I am going through a very dramatic and intensive spiritual transformation. He is not…
My twin flame married someone else and had a child with them creating a life and a vow with another human being. He is very much committed to what he says he is going to do. Before this happened and after this happened, we knew we were soulmates, with-out too much direct communication. How do you tell your twin flame you are marrying someone else and how do you let them go? Our story was filled with reacting and pushing each other away. We had communication on a battle ground with unfulfilled needs at both ends of the wheel looking like fear confusion and cover up. I wish I would have asked, “am I ready to give up my other half?” Maybe this question could help in the future. My coworker’s wife passed away and he said, “I wish she was still alive even if it meant she was married to another person.” Maybe some day during our life time we get second chances or we get what we want, just not when we want it.
~L
Your comment resonates. Am thankful for every moment with my soul mates. I am a lady twin married to not my twin. Spirit new when our eyes met, the calcified human hadn’t fully come to meet spirit yet. Its important to remember the mission, and to establish communication in separation times. Am feeling like you know her heart is overflowing with love, and you also know what love means. Sometimes we just swan dive down and make things difficult for ourselves. Spirit has a great sense of humor. And trust her marriage is apart of the process, and sometimes we have to breed to heal bloodlines as well. Haha anyways thought you might like to hear from the other end of the rope.
it Sounds like you understand the ins and outs of this process. Communication flowing in difficult circumstances is putting ones voice out there instead of avoiding and using blame as a scape goat. Looking back on this it is like the difference between avoiding a situation because it will cause distress and facing the distress the way it exists and asking where we can go from here. The danger is that someone’s first instinct could be to blame their circumstances and this could shift to blaming their self. This is a problem. It almost landed me 6 feet deep. I was overwhelmed. My hormones went from “I met my soulmate” to “now I have to let them go” without understanding or knowing how to transfer the concept of “who I wanted To spend my life with” to …. I guess I am still working on that. As a process we are familiar with this.. I was forcing myself to do something very unnatural not realizing I had another option.
Yep, Therapy…
Sounds realistic doesn’t it.
I should have seen a therapist (a good one lot of bad ones out there wanting to impose a view instead of reflecting your situation and encouraging problem solving based on the reality of your situation- some therapist get caught in judgement and they Might not understand soulmate as a concept of a life partner like a marriage) to help me cope with my loss.
Grief counseling is what anyone needs who is going through loss this big.
Someone who could teach me about adapting my concept of soulmate to my life circumstances especially the ones out of my control. What I could work on and what I needed to let go. And how to do this.
There is a time to heal and a time to reach out. The reply I got from the comment I left highlights an important part of twin flame separation. If Mending broken bridges is the intention it begins with showing the other person is important even when upsetting things happened. Tomato tomotto hopefully each us get the chance of making life what we make it. I think it begins with acknowledging a need for
Processing grief to help support communication if and when the opportunity comes to you.
Thank you for sharing your experience
I have considered therapy to help. But how do you tell a therapist about telepathic experiences? How do you tell a therapist that when he has touched me I have felt energy from his hands move into my shoulder, and visualize that energy moving? How do I tell a therapist that I asked the universe to send me signs confirming our connection, and explain the responses? Its difficult to communicate to my twin because he is so sweet and a super lover, along with beautiful looks that he is a magnet for karmic soul mates. This could be me looking for an excuse as to why I haven’t opened the invitation for an honest conversation with him. My throat chakra is def blocked right now. In my marriage I do have to be gentle, and I know the day will come when I will have to separate and live independently… I have already told my husband that someone I know is my twin and told him a few names, it wasn’t the worst conversation. ~ I have found much therapy in meditation. Through this I have learned that in the 3D we do not need anyones approval, opinions, or physical judgements. Paramasana Yoganda knew of his divine relationship with his twin, and his twin knew. Twin love is so deep that I also love his karmics because they love him.
I don’t want my twins commitment, or 3D expectations of a relationship. I have different views then most on relationships. My heart is magnatized to him, no matter how I try to distract myself even with trying to find new love interests it doesn’t work. I want to laugh, play, learn, teach, and hold him. No expectations, no boundaries. Anyways, this is where I come to read others stories for comfort until the day comes when he will signal or communicate more. Thank you for also sharing, and thank you luna and sol for your work and guidance.
Start at the beginning and work with your throat chakra. You mentioned its blocked. That is the link.
I get we both are separated from our twin flames, but this has been blocked for me in the past and I know how it feels. Its happened more than once. In fact, I now that I putting the link here and posting it I’ll work steps 1-20 , probably one a day for now until the end of the month and I figure out which of the steps work
Thank you L! I began writing in my journal again last night, and will be trying this for 20 days also and writing down a quick summary of my experience and thoughts with each step. I understand now that the tightness you feel in your throat, after someone said something that hurts … that feeling is the throat chakra closing. I realize this feeling has happened mainly in the youthful ages, but has created this pattern of running and avoidance.
might try telling them how you feel as the first step to creating a space for them to slow down and consider how what they said affected you. Hopefully they see it as an opportunity to change, if not it’s their loss. I personally, respond with anger when im scared. Hope this helps, if not, im sorry.
Yes, this helps, thank you. I hope you don’t mind me asking you questions. Honestly, I haven’t met anyone else on this journey, that I can talk to. Have you tried talking to your other half about your connection? I have also felt small fits of anger inside when I think about our connection occasionally. When it does happen I am usually shocked that I am feeling angry about it. It’s mainly because I feel frustrated that it is happening because the circumstances are what they are while its happening. One of his karmic s who he “sees personally” has made this very clear since I began regularly attending. I consider her to be a friend, that I actually love very much. I value our friendship, and because I have always had this integrity it is difficult for me to pursue. She has also made it clear, that he doesn’t mix business with pleasure, and no one hangs out outside of our duty. Although, I am seeing now that she has said these things to me to put up a boundary because of her own insecurities. I also do feel that his energy is sort of similar because he loves his connection and time spent with her, and that he loves his current lifestyle. I also, am sure I have heard her thought before. And it was “well there is your twin go and get him” and it was very sassy. Just after, he smiled lightly and asked how I was doing. I thought I was loosing it again lol. Is there an age gap between you and your other half? Not that age should ever matter, because in m opinion it does not. I have 2 people in my life and he is 38 she is 51, and anyone who meets them automatically know that they are in this life for each other. I have been meditating, and mantras and writing have seriously been helping me btw. Right now, I am trying to un-clutch from thoughts I have of him, and let the universe do what it does. But then I find myself here, just trying to talk about it and not feel so alone or cray cray lol. Stay blissful, peace.
I’ll get back to you on this. Dealing with some upsetting info from a request made. Taking it slow. I’ll tell you what happened between us when the subject of twin flame came up.
The conversation has not happened face to face. This is the elephant. The news that we were “soulmates” was handled indirectly. Since learning this and that I have an std he involved himself with other women. Its upsetting. I can say over the past few years I’ve gone from suicidal thoughts to thoughts of cutting to chain smoking. I never thought I would want to cut myself. My daily life has been pulling myself out of the slump and facing the consequences of poorly made choices. Not downing myself here.. I would have done things differently having gone through the experience again. Parts of the consequences have been unbearable. I put one foot in front of the other and “keep walking” while experiencing pain. Walk it out. What shape does that carve? Nothing on my leg I can tell you that. I have an std that I did not want to pass on and it why my twin got to sleep with people and I didn’t. It would have been nice if the person who gave me herpes would have been honest. I would have been his friend, not sexually involved. I told him “I got this from you” and he paused looked down then back at me and said “you probably did”. What would you have done? He never showed any signs of herpes, I didn’t know then a few years later we broke up. I met him through friend. I thought I could trust them both. Besides this obstacle that kept me from involving myself in other relationships I have to say I do not take responsibility for my twin flames decisions or choices that were right and safe for him, and I do not condemn him for his choices. Its normal to develop feelings through involvement but its not normal to hear this when you are the other person who’s opportunity was lost due to circumstances beyond their control resulting in other women receiving benefit that could have been theirs if the situation were different. Its easy to imagine how things could be different, but describing affections a person has for other people to the person who could not have a relationship with them is kinda like telling a person behind bars about the results of their romantic experiences and this equating to love so they can hear themselves talk about it. It almost seems like eliciting a reaction when they want a response that they are not getting. I don’t really know where else I’m going with this because this is a lot in one post and recalling the details of something painful like this triggers memories and I relive the initial moments I found out about these things and experience the pain from it. I don’t think there is anything wrong with talking about this stuff, but the frequency stops where the need ends. Working through is all I have and it could be all I have for the rest of my life, but I decided I will live the life that God gave me, and thats my decision.
My twin tried telling me he made a choice and found support for his decision. He wants to make sure I know about it if I am going to begin a friendship with him. I don’t know. And I also don’t know if I would have approached our situation any differently, if at all, escpecially if I already had support. I need some time to think about what role Ill play in our friendship before I decide. He is giving me a month to think about it.
I told him I could maintain a respectful friendship and this would have to be something he looked forward to and since our communication is difficult and indirect that I think distance was created for a reason. I think one day we will have a friendship, but that time will come the same time we were under conditions where our communication was without restraint.
L, you should know that I too also have been diagnosed with an std. This was given to me by my husband after I found out I was expecting and has been hard for me to deal with. This is one of the reasons I run. I know the day may come when I have to tell him, but I know he will appreciate my honesty. I also want to protect anyone else that may want to connect with him on a physical level. Also, many men do not know they have std’s. Your twin probably does and does not know it. My husband is gifted that he does not have the symptoms that I have. And lets be real it pisses me off. I have only slept with 4 people my entire life. I was also 2 years celibate when I decided to sleep with him when we first started dating…and yupp, caught an std. Although, on a more deeper level I feel like the twin flame journey is not about the sexual experience. I know that with my twin the focus is our mission not getting our rocks off. I also think its kind of hilarious that I caught an std, because he is a very sexual person and has a hard time resisting temptation. This is probably the reason this has happened in this life time. To not loose sight of the mission or distracted from it. He has helped heal my body, and I have more healing to do inner and outer layers. What I can tell you, is you can heal your own body. Medications and modern medicine are not designed to necessarily heal you. You heal you. Through the combination of breath and movement, along with meditation; This is how you heal your std. I have not had an outbreak in about 3 months, by simply controlling my thought pattern into this. I do not have an std, I am healing this and it will go away. In ancient times, surgery was completed using the third eye…I am hoping this helps you. You should also know that many doctors are paid by the amount of medications they prescribe, not by the amount of people they heal or care for. We need to raise our vibration, and evolve consciously so we can survive. Plot twist; Grey aliens, are us from the future coming back here, because we did so much damage that we could not breed any longer. lol, this may seem cray but trust, you need to hear this information if you have not already…
Also, you should never inflict self harm onto yourself (or anyone else) , there is enough subliminal harm being done to you and everyone else on the regular. There are monks where there daily routine, is to massage there selves. Love on yourself. It doesn’t matter what other people think of you or view you. Those are there thoughts, not yours. You are also not looking at yourself all day (I hope haha) So why does it matter? lol. I used to cut back in the day. But I realized it was because I wanted my parents to visibly see that pain I was going through inside because no matter how I tried to verbally express it, they wouldn’t listen.
I am feeling like telling you the most beautiful healing thing you can do for yourself is to get into a yoga class asap! Ever since I began going at least 1 day per week, I began to wake up more and more. See let me first start by explaining that water holds memory. We are mostly water. What happens is we can hold onto these memories in our muscles. Also, those knots you feel are knots that are continuously releasing toxins into your body. So by movement, you release. Some people at first they are confused as to why they cry in yoga sometimes, and this is why. And for some it takes a couple years of practice to really get down into those issues in your tissues. Even though for some areas yoga costs can vary, it is worth the expense. I considered a 3rd job to cover my weekly yoga but was thankful to find places that only cared about my healing and not about the money.
Also remember Love is an energy. What you say and do now goes on into infinity or continuity. :) Sending you love and light ~
. Namaste, stay blissful
hmm.. I’ll think about that.
maybe I should try something that is a win win over time that doesn’t include addictive behavior, moods that swing and enabling this process… could be something like abstinence- completely detach myself from the situation, or periods of involvement but wouldn’t that create a mood shift with expectation built over shaky ground, periods of rest is a must no matter whats decided… what these thoughts could lead to tomorrow feels like a sandbox of buried treasure. I think I’m going to need my tools.
Hey L, hopefully this helps too…please also research all of the information I share with you. Thought is an energy, and there are many dimensions of thought. For example, your inner thoughts, your human perception, and the thought we all vibrate on, and try to escape from*The Maya”. You can ponder and research all day…but if you listen to any advice in this lifetime, please just simply take your bootie to a yoga class. Do not concern yourself with what outcomes will be, what matters is the now. It’s not about of when life brings you discomfort…its about when life brings you discomfort, how do you react! Love and light your way, Namaste ~
I’m not much of a researcher, though I respect it. Something I could probably work on… I spoke to my friend about yoga. She does not want me to do yoga. It’s nice to walk by once in a while to see what the positions look like, a few of the moves could probably pull my hamstring or get a knot in my calf, but nothing I couldn’t work out over time. However, my friend is asking me to consider something else. I am perfectly capable of doing yoga. Like I COULD do yoga. But she’s encouraging me to stop think and take a few steps to the side saying it’s up to me to decide how I spend my time since I am the one who deals with my stress of the stuff I have process on a daily basis. Maybe I could jog or take a walk or do something for a friend to keep myself occupied
Why doesn’t your friend want you to try yoga? The postures are so healing for your body and there are many modifications for injuries. A simple raising your arms above your head and leaning to the right and left seems simple but is doing so much for you.For example, cleaning your lymphatic system is one of the benefits. Not to mention our western brains are shrinking; and they proved yoga re grows your brain. Anyways… I don’t think it matters what your friend thinks, it’s what you think. Makes me actually heart broken that anyone would steer someone away from it, because I have healed so much. I could honestly barley poop regularly before I started doing yoga, or bend over. Yoga actually means Union, union with God, and self. If you are on the twin flame journey, this is very important for you to learn. Also, Paramahansa Yogananda brought yoga to the west. Paramahansa, means supreme swan. I actually just recently learned this. I am reading the autobiography of a yogi. And I asked for signs in sets of three that my twin is my twin, and I actually came across a picture on Facebook of 3 blown up swan floats for the pool or lake. Then that same day, came across another picture of a swan, then led me to an article about Yoganda and his Guru and there twin flame relationship, and what his name means. There are many religious organizations that may steer you away from it because of there lack of knowledge, bodily calcification, along with there own lack of self realization. The journey is not comfortable. See, once you practice yoga you will be sore, because of your lack of movement. You have many knots in you already, you will get knots as your body is changing. This is why many studios offer massage to help push those lumps of toxins… Pull a hamstring, likely not because I was 215 pounds when I started practicing. Havent pulled anything yet, I have discovered injuries that I never let heal properly that HAVE healed from practicing. Have also felt the pain that sitting in a chair has done to me. Again, you have been conditioned in that mental state of fear. You are scared to practice because you could pull a hamstring. Fear is not an emotion we are born with, fear is taught. Let go of the fear and you never know what blessings may happen. I could go on and on about this, and continue to type more. It’s your choice if you want to break old patterns and give something new a try. If you don’t well you don’t. I will be hoping that you do not take what I am telling you lightly and that you take action in this lifetime and own up to what you came here to do rather then procrastinating and listening to what everyone else thinks or wants you to do. My best friend, doesn’t like yoga…sounds harsh but has nothing to do with me and my journey. I hope you get to experience this ancient healing craft called yoga… love and light ~ Stay Blissful :) Namaste (the divine in you, is the divine in me)
I asked her why she was against doing yoga, especially after reading about the benefits, and she explained if we were going to do anything together then she wanted to have a say so in what we decide to do. I’ll probably end up going to meeting once a month – she is willing to make the trip and likes that we get to meet other people who have similar stories to what we have been through. With me it was a soulmate separation, glad he is alive, and with her she experienced rejection from someone in her family so if we do something to relieve our stress it would need to be something that meets both our needs given we have similar yet two separate issues we are dealing with. What has been the hardest thing you have had to live without during all of this, it could not possibly be yoga- ya know a little about it I noticed.
For me I cannot live without yoga, this is my lifestyle :) & I am so thankful for this journey. Sounds like she just wants to spend time with you :) Walks in nature and good conversation is healing too for sure :) Have a beautiful weekend L ~sending love & light
I used to jog in the woods when my mind was a mess. I was going through a tough break up. Ultimately, I will ask my twin flame to consider forming a friendship over one step at a time in meetings that we would begin going to separately. I once heard that love is a drug, and it can cause us to become distracted. I need a friendship from my twin flame. And I need him to respect my free will. And I need him to be focused and successful in his life. By protecting myself and leaving the door open for him, I protect us both. There was this guy who once asked me “what comes first “I” or “U”?” “I come first.”
hi, thanx so much, i knew my twin (& have this conection to him) since we were 10 (same class). only after 11 years i found him on the web, met him and only a year later i knew that he has this kind of a connection to me to (thaw not that strong).
i did capt things with him free (even without knowing- that that is what i should do).
but because of the intensity of this- i was the one who ran after a year for 3 years- a few times.
sins then, and coz of that, he has harmed me in a way that i can’t trust him again. but also coz of that intensity i as well can’t trust no one else ether and everyone seem to me so pail after all this.
and the most important is that- i don’t know how to stop the emotional connection to his: coz of that i have no room for anyone else. so we don’t talk but i’m not available amotenly ether.
by now i have simply acknowledged that perhaps this is how i would always leave- without talking to him, but with the very strong emotional connection to him.
are geminis or certain signs more spirtual then our twins? im a gemin and i can relate to alot of what i read if that makes sense. thanks
No. There’s certain signs that are more sensitiviely in tune with aspects of themselves than others, but no sign is ‘more’ than any other sign as this becomes a quick slide into egotism and unharmonious relationships.
Please read my email