The moment you meet your twin flame is the moment the earth beneath your feet begins to shift.
I like to think of the meeting of two twin flames as an existential earthquake: all of a sudden you can sense that an immensely important person has entered your life. All of a sudden you get the overwhelming feeling that your life is going to change in a way you aren’t even aware of yet – and yet you intuitively know that the changes will be great, greater than what you’ve ever experienced, and breathtaking in their magnitude.
I know all of this because I was fortunate enough to have met my own twin flame a few years ago, so I have already gone through the fiery, intense and transformative process of meeting my soul’s mirror.
Although I feel immense gratitude for the gift of connecting with my twin flame, I am happy to say that this blessing is open to everyone. However, such a gift is not always received openly or even recognized by us on a conscious level. Sometimes we’re at a point in our lives where we are simply not receptive to both ourselves and our twin flame’s presence due to stress, over-work, lifestyle habits and negative thought patterns that lead to low self-esteem.
If you’ve connected with your twin flame, or would like to discover who your twin flame is, you’ll find everything you need to know on this page, including common twin flame signs, twin flame stages, and much more.
Table of contents
What is a Twin Flame?
A Twin Flame, or Twin Soul, is a person who you feel connected to not just on a physical and emotional level, but also on a soulful or spiritual level.
Our Twin Flames represent our friends, lovers, and teachers in this life. They are the yins to our yangs, the suns to our moons, and the light to our darkness.
Twin Flames are also our mirrors in that they reflect back to us all of our hidden fears and shadows, but also our true inner beauty and strength. In this way, our Twin Flames open the door to tremendous emotional, psychological, and spiritual growth.
11 Signs You’re in a Twin Flame Relationship
Are you already in a twin flame relationship?
Common signs to look out for include:
- The sensation that time doesn’t exist between you
- A strange sense of “recognition” or deja vu between you as though you’re both “destined” to be together
- Intense magnetic attraction to each other
- Your strengths and weaknesses perfectly balance each other
- You share the same values, desires, and dreams
- Your Twin knows you better than anyone else in the world
- No matter how many times you fight, you always forgive each other completely
- You have a multi-faceted connection together, i.e. you are best friends, teachers, and lovers to each other
- Uncanny synchronicities exist between you (for example, both of us got together on 11.11.11)
- You’re both driven towards a higher spiritual/social purpose
- You learn the values of empathy, compassion, forgiveness, and unconditional love together
You can take our twin flame test if you would like to find out if you’ve found your twin flame.
The Origins of Twin Flames
So ancient is the desire of one another which is implanted in us, reuniting our original nature, seeking to make one of two, and to heal the state of man. – Plato, Symposium
The concept of having a “Twin Flame” originated in Plato’s mythic dialogue entitled “The Symposium” which wrote that human beings originally had two faces, four arms, and four legs. Under the threat of being overpowered, the gods split them in half, creating the humans we see today. Hence, it is thought that we all have one “twin” soul out there in the world.
Others hypothesize that twin flames are members of our Soul Group (people with whom we resonate with on the deepest level and were predestined to meet), or that twin flames are the embodiment or other “half” of a singular soul.
However, we define twin flames as those whose souls have agreed to reincarnate together across many lifetimes.
The purpose of the twin flame union is to help each other to spiritually grow, expand, and reach spiritual illumination. Everything in life is composed of energy at its core, and twin flames are people we resonate with on the deepest spiritual level. Like two tuning forks or gravitational fields, twin flames are magnetically attracted to each other.
The Purpose of Twin Flame Relationships
Put simply, the purpose of the twin flame relationship is to help us shed away the snakeskin of the ego, face and heal our wounded hearts, and transform into spiritually awakened beings.
Twin flames are a divine expression of Balance, Harmony, and Unconditional Love. Every twin flame couple will have a higher purpose to achieve together, and this may include anything from raising conscious children and starting an eco-conscious business, to becoming spiritual guides and mentoring the lives of many.
Contrary to popular belief, twin flames do not complete each other– this is because the Soul itself is already complete. Instead, such relationships exist to catalyze spiritual maturing and conscious expansion. In other words, twin flame connections exist to aid the collective growth of our planet towards compassion, tranquility, and love.
On a personal level, twin flame relationships prepare us to acknowledge, experience and eventually embody the Wholeness that has always and forever been inside of us. This state of Wholeness is what enlightened Teachers through the ages have embodied and spoken of. This Wholeness is the Soul, or True Nature, within us.
21 Major Twin Flame Signs
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along. – Rumi (The Essential Rumi)
We are not always receptive to the appearance of our twin flames in life.
We might be heart-broken, wracked with grief, maritally over-burdened, or just plain tired and disillusioned when they suddenly appear out of the blue.
Feeling unprepared is one of the biggest reasons why twin flame separation and the twin flame runner and chaser complex occurs. In fact, we might have already met our twin flames, but we might have overlooked them or taken them for granted in some way.
Whatever emotional or psychological stage you’re at in life, it is always beneficial to be conscious of the people you live with and meet. These following twin flame signs might help you to open new pathways and opportunities for union:
- You feel a strange, inexplicable sense of “recognition” when you meet the person. This might manifest itself as déjà vu, or an unshakable feeling that you’ve known this person before, or are somehow “meant to be together.”
- You have a feeling that they are going to play a very important role in your own development, without knowing when, why or how.
- You’ve established an immediate, intense connection with them that is invigorating and shocking at the same time.
- You feel as though you’ve finally found a “home” or safe place with the other person.
- You are able to be your authentic self – warts and all – without the fear of rejection, persecution or judgment with them.
- You both embody the yin and yang, in other words, your dark side is balanced by their light side, and their dark side is balanced by your light side.
- You feel a sense of expansion with them, as though you are larger than your limited identity.
- They make you a better person, and you make them a better person.
- When together you are both bonded but free, attached but unattached. In other words, you still maintain your freedom even though you might be in a relationship with them.
- You are finely tuned to their energy, and they are finely tuned to yours. This means that you are both very conscious of the present play of energy (whether happy or sad, angry or forgiving, open or withholding) present in the connection. You’re both therefore highly empathic with each other.
- You feel as though you have been waiting for this person your entire life.
- You both connect deeply and mirror each other’s values and aspirations for life beyond surface similarities.
- Your twin flame is a mirror of what you fear and simultaneously desire the most for your own inner healing. For example, if you are a highly-strung person, your twin flame will most likely be relaxed and messy. If you like to play the victim, your twin flame will be a strong character who refuses to give you pity or sympathy to perpetuate your complex. If you are creatively repressed, your twin flame will be a flourishing artist. In this way, our twin flames challenge and infuriate us but also teach us important lessons about our fears, core wounds, and repressions.
- Your childhoods were polar opposite. You were raised in very different ways, which led to the development of opposite childhood wounds that you now have the opportunity to mend.
- One of you is more soulfully mature than the other and often serves as the teacher, counselor or confidant within the relationship.
- You are taught important life lessons such as forgiveness, gratitude, empathy, and open-mindedness by them and with them.
- The most growth you’ve ever experienced has been with them. No other friendship or relationship has transformed you as deeply as this one has.
- Your connection is multi-faceted. In other words, your twin flame is likely your best friend, lover, teacher, nurturer, and muse all at once.
- Your twin flame doesn’t try to change you. They accept you for who you are and what stage you’re at and encourage you to do the same for yourself (and vice versa).
- You can be truthful with each other about anything.
- Together, you both feel driven towards a higher purpose, whether spiritually, socially or ecologically.
8 Stages of Twin Flame Love
Twin flames aid our souls in finding completion. However, this journey is composed of many different “layers” or stages.
Here are the eight twin flame stages broken summarized (you can read more in our article “8 Twin Flame Stages“):
1. Yearning for “The One”
This stage is spent preparing for your Twin Flame on an emotional and psychological level. Often, a certain level of individuation and healthy self-esteem must be developed before meeting your Flame.
2. Glimpsing “The One”
In this stage, you’ll temporarily glimpse or come in contact with your Twin Flame. This experience might be through a dream, a picture, or through brief real-life contact.
3. Falling in love
After finally meeting your Twin Flame, you will fall rapidly, deeply, and madly in love. You might try to resist the experience at first (perhaps due to an already established relationship), but eventually, you won’t be able to stay away from them.
4. The Fairy-Tale relationship
After deciding to enter a relationship, you’ll enter a dream-like period that feels like paradise. Everything will feel perfect within your relationship.
5. Outer Turmoil and Inner Purging
As the sparkle from your new love wears off, egos begin to rise up. In this stage, any insecurities, fears, traumas, and shadow issues buried within you and your partner will come to the surface. These will need to be resolved for you to mature as a couple.
6. The Runner and Chaser
Like stage five, this stage is a “trial by fire.” As tensions mount, it is common to temporarily (or in some extreme cases, permanently) leave the relationship either emotionally or physically. The less mature and psychospiritually integrated partner will play the role of the Runner, while the more emotionally balanced partner will play the Chaser. This game of cat and mouse can last for days to years. (You can learn more about spiritual psychology here.)
7. Surrender and Dissolution
Eventually, issues are resolved in your relationship, and a space of acceptance and openness is established.
The more shadows are dealt with through shadow work, the easier Unity becomes. In this stage, Twin Flames experience little to no conflict and a return to blissful paradise.
More In-Depth Help
Want to learn more about twin flame relationships? In our book Twin Flames & Soulmates, we give more in-depth guidance:
Common Twin Flame Questions
Are you struggling to find the answer to a twin flame question that’s been on your mind for a while?
I’ll answer some of the most common twin flame questions below. (And let me know in the comments area if there’s an area you think I should cover):
1. Are twin flames meant to be lovers?
No, not necessarily. There is no such thing as a cookie-cutter twin flame relationship. Some twin flames are lovers, while some twin flames are best friends. You don’t have to feel sexually attracted to your twin flame for the connection to be legitimate. It’s perfectly normal to have a platonic relationship.
2. Does everyone have a twin flame?
Yes, it’s quite likely that everyone has a twin flame. But not everyone has the capacity to connect with their twin flame within this lifetime. Twin flames emerge within our lives when our souls are ready to undergo the process of spiritual awakening and transformation. For some people, the twin flame connection is simply too intense and is not welcome, and hence never happens.
3. Can a twin flame be a soul mate?
Yes, it is possible that a soul mate can become a twin flame, and vice versa. But twin flames and soul mates have different functions. Twin flame relationships are intense and challenging: their purpose is to help you spiritually grow. Soul mate relationships, on the other hand, are more mild and peaceful: their purpose is to help support you. It’s like the difference between fire (twin flames) and water (soul mates). Read our article on the difference between soul mates, twin flames, and kindred spirits for more of an in-depth distinction.
4. Why do twin flames run?
Sometimes, our twin flames run away because the connection is too overwhelming and intense for the ego. When the ego is not ready to spiritually evolve, it resists, fights, and tries to escape – this is why twin flames run and try to avoid the relationship.
5. Do you only have one twin flame?
Yes, as the name “twin” implies, there is only one other person on this planet who can be called a twin flame. All types of relationships provide the opportunity for growth, but twin flame relationships are rare in their ability to help us spiritually evolve and awaken.
6. Is there such a thing as a false twin flame?
Yes, there is such a thing as a false twin flame. Whether due to our own false perception (it’s true that love blinds us) or due to the pretense worn by the other person, it’s possible to mistake someone as our twin flame. The best way to know whether someone is a false twin flame is to pay attention to (a) whether they genuinely share the same values as you, (b) if you can be your true self around them, and (c) if there is mutual spiritual transformation.
7. Are twin flames toxic?
Our twin flames can have toxic mindsets and wounds, but they are not toxic to be around. On the contrary, our twin flames are loving, inspiring, and supportive people to be around. They help us to become the best version of ourselves possible. A true twin flame will have some negative traits, but that will be outweighed by their positive qualities. False twin flames, on the other hand, are toxic to be around and make us feel rotten inside.
8. Can twin flames communicate telepathically?
No scientific studies have been conducted, so it’s best to keep an open but balanced perspective. Yes, it might be possible for twin flames to communicate telepathically when in a relationship. But this shouldn’t be used as an excuse to avoid clear communication and assume that the other can ‘read our mind.’ Telepathic communication can also lead a person to believe they are reading another person’s emotions and thoughts accurately, when in reality they are projecting their own beliefs, wishes and desires onto that person. This is a tricky area and should be approached with open-minded caution.
9. Can twin flames fall out of love?
Yes, unfortunately, it is possible for twin flames to fall out of love. However, this is not to say that the deep soul connection will disappear, or the possibility for rekindling love will vanish. It is possible for twin flames to fall in love, fall out of love, and fall in love again. The nature of life is unpredictable, and there is no divine edict saying that twin flames must love each other forever. The purpose of the twin flame relationship is to help us spiritually evolve, and when that goal has been completed, the connection can sometimes disintegrate. However, it is always possible for our twin flames to re-emerge later in life.
How to Find Your Twin Flame
If you haven’t yet found your Twin Flame, just know that the experience is absolutely open to you. However, finding and connecting to your Flame requires inner work.
The best way to connect with your Twin Flame isn’t through a fancy manifestation ritual, but through an authentic development of self-love. You must be willing to deal with the darkest places within you before you can truly open to the Twin Flame connection.
We explore how to find your twin flame more in our twin flame book.
Twin Flame Resources
It’s important that you read through the articles below and click on any that resonate with you. Once you click on an article, it will be opened in a new screen, meaning that you can come back to this page as your “home base,” and explore some more!
Our twin flames can be our friends or lovers. For some people, they arise at the most opportune times, and for others, they arise at the most complicated times. And still, for some people twin flames are said to not arise in this lifetime but are nevertheless with us in heart.
Whatever the case, remember that it is entirely possible to be whole and complete unto yourself with enough inner work. Remember, twin flames do not “complete” you because you are already innately “complete” at a soulful level; they instead compliment you deeply and help you to grow.