Traditionally, the media has been known to equate loners with mentally ill psychotics who go on murderous rampages.
And while, yes, sure, there are some disturbed ‘loners’ out there, the reality is that …
most loners are totally normal people!
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If you find yourself alone and without friends or family to rely on, I want to assure you that you’re actually in good company.
In the age of social media, global pandemics, and increasing disconnection, being a loner is becoming more common.
But there is a deeper meaning behind this solitude.
And I’ll explore that in this post.
Table of contents
9 Signs You’re a Loner
Being a loner sounds self-explanatory. But for clarity sake, here’s a list of signs that you’re a loner:
- You enjoy spending time alone more than with other people.
- You can’t connect with (or don’t have any) family members.
- You can’t connect with (or don’t have any) friends.
- You’re introspective and tend to be an introvert.
- You like to take life slowly, and the world can feel overwhelming.
- You’re a free spirit who loves independence.
- You tend to have interesting quirks.
- You have the strong desire to walk your own path as a lone wolf.
- You’re the black sheep of the family.
We also have a loner test that you can take if you’re still unsure.
Myths About Loners
Here are some common myths about loners:
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- “Loners hate people”
- “All loners lack social skills”
- “Loners are secretly plotting your death”
- “Loners are lonely people”
- “Loners are creepy”
- “Loners are all mentally ill”
Sure, while some loners might possess some of these qualities, these are not blanket statements or truths that apply to all loners.
Why Being a Loner Can Be Empowering
It’s true that as a species, we require some level of social connectedness.
Don’t worry, that will come with time!
Sometimes we’re in a space in life where we just need to retreat from the world. We need to process our thoughts and feelings, and figure out our ‘true north.’
So to counteract the previous section (those myths are widely spread and can make lonesome people feel horrible), here are some ways being a loner actually helps you:
- Being a loner helps you to develop more self-awareness
- Being a loner supports you in finding the meaning of life
- Being a loner helps you to recover from social overwhelm
- Being a loner gives you space and perspective
- Being a loner helps you to figure out your passions and interests
- Being a loner helps you to develop more independence and self-reliance
- Being a loner makes you a deeper and more interesting person
- Being a loner helps you to find your self-worth within
Can you think of any more ways that being a loner is empowering? Share in the comments!
The Deeper Meaning Behind Being a Loner
There’s a reason why this website is called ‘lonerwolf’ – it has a deeper meaning that is directly related to being a loner. And that is …
At some point in life, we must all leave the herd and find our own paths.
We must become lone wolves.
We must listen to the calling to reconnect with our Souls.
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The world can be a busy, overwhelming, pressuring, and confusing place. For those who feel a deeper spiritual calling emerge within their being, solitude is natural and needed.
In many cases, loners are empaths and old souls who are on the soul searching path. Being alone is, quite simply, a crucial part of their life path.
So in a nutshell, that is the deeper meaning behind being a loner: it’s a sign that you’re on the spiritual journey and you need the space to figure out who you are and what you want out of life.
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If you’d like to read more about inner growth, walking your own path, and spiritual evolution, keep digging into this website. There are so many free resources and guides for you to benefit from. One related article you might enjoy is our introvert article.
Tell me, why are you a loner? What is the deeper meaning for you?
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I’ve read most of the comments and I want to add my religious perspective as a muslim. I think solitude is the main way of becoming mature and taking responsibility. Human beings are meant to become self sufficient emotionally in the end where they start their journey as a completely dependent baby. Our holy book Quran says that on the judgment day all bonds of relativity and social connectedness will disappear and every person will be held responsible for his life alone. For a person to become honestly close to god he needs solitude so that he will not be distracted. They say prophet Mohammad started to withdraw from humans and usually go to a mountain to think when he was reaching his forties before he started having the revelations. The loneliness meant here is not a selfish loneliness but a responsible, compassionate loneliness. The ones who overrate being social or socialism as an ideology (like a commenter’s joke) are usually the ones who benefit from it materially or mentally. Without social influence you can not have power in this world unless of course you are a tyrant who uses force to make people do what he wants. I personally… Read more »
Reading over the comments, you all seem like such lovely people! I am in high school myself, and I’m a loner. I really hate how much negativity there is towards loners, especially in high school and college, but throughout life. I like being my own person and going against the social norm, and I really wish my teachers would see that. There’s so much of a “if you’re not going to parties and getting drunk with friends all the time, you must be a loser” vibe from other students, and it’s complete bs.
Loved this article so much, thanks for taking the time to write it.
-Laura
Love what you wrote…thank you. I am in my mid forties, single, no children and female. I have a corporate job and outside of that do mostly creative work including modeling. I find people look at my images and see something I am not, or that is an aspect of me. I prefer to be with my pets, do artwork, spend time by myself and once in awhile with a friend. Sometimes it is lonely and one day I want a partner. For the most part I really enjoy time with myself.
Greetings. I have often wondered if there is something “abnormal” about me, and I’m convinced I am a true loner. In high school, I was popular, the prom queen, homecoming queen candidate, cheerleader, scholarship in music, and partied with friends all the time…had to be out every night at a club…all the way into my 30s. I lived in Orlando then. I was married three times by the time I was 30. I was tall, tan, and considered beautiful in my youth. People wanted to be with me. I moved home from Orlando to a small Midwestern state, into my home town of 1400, bought a house, and at 50 decided I would get to have the one thing I’d wanted all my life…a horse, my passion. Since I’ve moved home, I’ve been alone for 20 years. I dated a few times, got bored, loved my dogs and horse more and found them to be more fun. My family was small, mom an only child, dad with a brother and sister and one child between them, and my brother was killed when he was 22 and I was 24. My mother passed away seven years ago, so now, I truly… Read more »
If you really are an introvert, why do you care what other people think about you? Also, humans are naturally social beings, so of course it is considered abnormal when one is not social. You should talk to a psychologist about this, honestly, they would explain it better than I in regards to why society considers loners outsiders.
When I was in high school I liked being the loner. I had very few friends and intended for it to be that way. I liked that I was unique from everyone.That all changed when I got to college because I started to feel a lot of pressure to become that stereotypical, socially active college student. I couldn’t live up to others expectations of how life was supposed to be and I felt inadequate and awkward. After that I lost all the self esteem I had been building up. So now I hate being alone simply because others see it as unhappy and want me to be different.
HIYA I dont really know why i live in solitary,but ive a rough idea,i lost 6 of my closest friends that i loved so much through tragedy,i never had a warm loving family but these became my family,first time i was really accepted,loved&protected,i also got very ill&im bi-polar&have suffered extreme depression for the past 4yrs just wanting to be dead really but recently ive been told my hosp that my health is on the up&feeling so much better,i was a social butterfly once,always out there,very popular,partying&friends in tow all the time,ive moved around constantly,that might not help?my partner died 10yrs ago,love of my life the signs were showing then it was a tragic death&i withdrew&found grief was easier to handle if i was on my own,i felt more comfortable&at ease&i would feel his spirit around me,im sure i felt he would come if i was alone?anyway i thought its ok to be alone,its wot i need?10yrs later im still pushing ppl away,backing out of stuff,not wanting to answer phone or door,i want a life,but ppl fail me or annoy me,ive noticed ppl are not to be trusted no more&anytime i let someone in i get burnt?so yep it kind of… Read more »
some people are just meant to be alone and its not their fault! If nobody invites you anywhere
you can’t force yourself on people for christ sake. I ve been a loner my whole life. If nobody wants to be with me then the HELL with them! funny how bullies have a lot of friends…
If your nice, people don’t like you… You have to be an A-hole to fit in with the world..
Yes, I’m American and I live in America, unfortunately… It seems that every year Americans take one more step towards insanity–and don’t even realize it… I live in Northern New Jersey which, is itself, a rather maligned state… First, we have this appaulingly stinking urban garbage ghetto city called Newark (which is in itself a colony of NYC) which houses Newark Airport (I think they recently renamed it to something idiotic) so any passengers coming and going assume that all of NJ is one big stinking cement hole of smog and pollution… In reality NJ is known as The Garden State because much of it is trees and Pine Barrens… If that’s not enough though we’ve got two horrible shows which make it look like a garbage state: Jersey Shore and the infamous The Sopranos… They are but tiny fractions of the state and, of course, these shows are populated by actors not real people… Though Chris Christie who is NJ’s governor is looking to run for the presidency (and He Is a Mafia man!)… But here I go again, babbling! In many ways, Texas is The Model for America’s future… Then again, Texas is pretty much the Republican Party’s… Read more »
I think that in America for exampe, they have so many mass shootings because theirs is a culture that nurtures a fearful, negative attitude towards anything that isn’t go-getting and extroverted. It ends up being that that kind of society creates what it fears: that by ostracizing a type of person on the basis of suspicion that they are crazy and dangerous, they end up pushing always some of those people into becoming just that. Gun control cannot be the real reason (though I hate to back up the NRA with that); the real reason is the social exclusion of certain people – introverted people, shy persons and any people dealing with a mental illness. For all the loners who go out and shoot people, there are surely dozens (if not more) who commit suicide because they have been given the message that they are second or third class, if not even worthless. …so, while much ado is made of the physical violence by these one in a thousand (if not more) “loners” (and there have hot to be plenty more loners who never act out against others), who is soeaking up for the long sufferring schizophrenic who, whilst never… Read more »