Traditionally, the media has been known to equate loners with mentally ill psychotics who go on murderous rampages.
And while, yes, sure, there are some disturbed ‘loners’ out there, the reality is that …
most loners are totally normal people!
If you find yourself alone and without friends or family to rely on, I want to assure you that you’re actually in good company.
In the age of social media, global pandemics, and increasing disconnection, being a loner is becoming more common.
But there is a deeper meaning behind this solitude.
And I’ll explore that in this post.
Table of contents
9 Signs You’re a Loner
Being a loner sounds self-explanatory. But for clarity sake, here’s a list of signs that you’re a loner:
- You enjoy spending time alone more than with other people.
- You can’t connect with (or don’t have any) family members.
- You can’t connect with (or don’t have any) friends.
- You’re introspective and tend to be an introvert.
- You like to take life slowly, and the world can feel overwhelming.
- You’re a free spirit who loves independence.
- You tend to have interesting quirks.
- You have the strong desire to walk your own path as a lone wolf.
- You’re the black sheep of the family.
We also have a loner test that you can take if you’re still unsure.
Myths About Loners
Here are some common myths about loners:
- “Loners hate people”
- “All loners lack social skills”
- “Loners are secretly plotting your death”
- “Loners are lonely people”
- “Loners are creepy”
- “Loners are all mentally ill”
Sure, while some loners might possess some of these qualities, these are not blanket statements or truths that apply to all loners.
Why Being a Loner Can Be Empowering
It’s true that as a species, we require some level of social connectedness.
Don’t worry, that will come with time!
Sometimes we’re in a space in life where we just need to retreat from the world. We need to process our thoughts and feelings, and figure out our ‘true north.’
So to counteract the previous section (those myths are widely spread and can make lonesome people feel horrible), here are some ways being a loner actually helps you:
- Being a loner helps you to develop more self-awareness
- Being a loner supports you in finding the meaning of life
- Being a loner helps you to recover from social overwhelm
- Being a loner gives you space and perspective
- Being a loner helps you to figure out your passions and interests
- Being a loner helps you to develop more independence and self-reliance
- Being a loner makes you a deeper and more interesting person
- Being a loner helps you to find your self-worth within
Can you think of any more ways that being a loner is empowering? Share in the comments!
The Deeper Meaning Behind Being a Loner
There’s a reason why this website is called ‘lonerwolf’ – it has a deeper meaning that is directly related to being a loner. And that is …
At some point in life, we must all leave the herd and find our own paths.
We must become lone wolves.
We must listen to the calling to reconnect with our Souls.
The world can be a busy, overwhelming, pressuring, and confusing place. For those who feel a deeper spiritual calling emerge within their being, solitude is natural and needed.
In many cases, loners are empaths and old souls who are on the soul searching path. Being alone is, quite simply, a crucial part of their life path.
So in a nutshell, that is the deeper meaning behind being a loner: it’s a sign that you’re on the spiritual journey and you need the space to figure out who you are and what you want out of life.
If you’d like to read more about inner growth, walking your own path, and spiritual evolution, keep digging into this website. There are so many free resources and guides for you to benefit from. One related article you might enjoy is our introvert article.
Tell me, why are you a loner? What is the deeper meaning for you?
Interesting website, maybe I’ll actually be able to meet others of my species here… I’ve been an introvert all my life and, thanks to extroverts and their kind, have nearly been destroyed… From the lowest grades up to the present, I was a magnet for bullies who mentally and physically abused me to no end… My mother always told me that it was My Fault because I wasn’t outgoing, friendly, and sociable so I basically Deserved it… The bullies always got away with it scot-free because they backed one another up… In high school they kept coming at me and those wonderfully brilliant teachers said I was to blame and forced my parents to take me to shrinks–and Pay Them out of their Own pocket! By the time I graduated from high school, I was more or less convinced I was Mental or something… Then onto the various jobs I had where I was basically used, lied to, manipulated, and became the pawns of sociopathic narcissists… Promotions passed right by me, ass-kissers prevailed, my ideas and solutions were stolen by others, I was the lowest-paid.. And the Stories they started about me behind my back and in whispers! This guy’s… Read more »
I love the fact that I’m a loner in university. My university is a party university with Fridays off and of course Saturdays and Sundays off as well. I have always been a loner and will always will be because of that I’m very independent, moving to a new country where everything is different this became beneficial. I see so many people that I knew as the quiet decent types did a 360 change because their self esteem was weak and now are into heavy drinking and doing drugs as well. I look at these people and I don’t even recognize them. seriously I’ve only been here for four months and I don’t have any friends (I have acquaintances and got people phone number and contact details but I’m not interested in them). People might question why I’m in this way but I love myself just the way I am. but I have to admit university can change a person if you aren’t strong enough.
I’m tired of being a loner. I just wish that I could get through it.
Whether there are also some advantages of being a loner, I still don’t
want to be one. I have to be realistic and true to myself that I really
don’t want to be like this. Ever. Sometimes I really weep in great
sorrow. There are a lot of limitations of being a loner. If ever I got a
lot of money, I would pay almost a million dollars just to get through
it. Seriously. Sorry if I ever said something unpleasing. I just want to release what I really feel.
I’m tired of being a loner. I just wish that I could get through it. Whether there are also some advantages of being a loner, I still don’t want to be one. I have to be realistic and true to myself that I really don’t want to be like this. Ever. Sometimes I really weep in great sorrow. There are a lot of limitations of being a loner. If ever I got a lot of money, I would pay almost a million dollars just to get through it. Seriously.
i think we are disliked for intimidating the loud with quietness. disliked for showing them that we are secured with ourselves and don’t need their presence to be happy in our little world. if only people of all personality types learn to respect’s differences, our world, would be more a happy place to live in =)
Glad to have stumbled upon lonerwolf.com Great reply to Kimberly. Yes, the solution is to separate oneself from the game. I would like to add an additional perspective. Being a Christian, communion and communication with God and meditating on the words and the people of the bible allow me to be connected to people by understanding how valuable everyone truly is no matter how different and to realize that God loves me inspite of myself and especially inspite of what others think of my lonely lifestyle. Unfortunately, even churches over emphasize community to the point of suggesting that one is selfish if one doesn’t get involved in community events. They way I like to contribute is by giving financially, helping to clean up after an event, pray at prayer meetings, but not necessarily attending social functions or being face to face with the needy. Being around too many people make me uncomfortable and often annoyed. I know God understands that. I still struggle at times with the discomfort of knowing that others view me as a bit strange, but quickly get over it as I remember that these people do not determine my eternity, let alone provide even for the… Read more »
I always wonder why others are so obsessed with “why don’t you go out and socialize?” I usually retort “Because I am against socialism!” It elicits a laugh, but confirms their idea that I am simply a social butterfly who has “lost her wings” and desperately wants to re-join the fold. Those who are different must be odd, or damaged, and “repaired” so that they are like everybody else. Conform or die. I don’t want to “re-join” the fold. I was in it briefly when I was in grade school, and then I moved on. I became self-reliant, self-dependent, and refuse to be so desperate that my self-worth is completely dependent on how “popular” I am: how many parties I attend, how many facebook “friends” I have. It seems unbelievably shallow to think that the quantity of relationships equals a quality of life. However, I don’t go around creating psychological profiles demeaning their lifestyle choice of social dependency: why is it necessary that they do so for me? I am not a recluse – I do move within society, albeit mostly from the fringes. I do allow some people in my life, but I am very selective. I prefer substance… Read more »
I think there is beauty to be found in being alone. It is much different then from being lonely. When you are lonely you ache and long to have that connection or intimacy with another person or being. You crave being in a social environment and that people will understand you and accept you for who you are. When you are alone and you can find peace and contentment within yourself, you really begin to enjoy the true meaning of solitude. You learn so much more about yourself and are able to be comfortable in your own skin. Then I think it’s safe to say you can be comfortable around other people. A lot of it has to do with your upbringing and what kind of environment you were surrounded in and how much love, nurture and attention was given to you as a child. I grew up with a very dominating and aggressive Father and a very calm and loving Mother who always taught me to see the funny side in the worst of the situation. So I was always torn between two worlds but have always been able to see both sides. I think I’m going in an entirely different… Read more »
People don’t believe I’m not lonely. Sometimes I am. Most times I’d prefer to choose when I’m social and with who.
I get you Van…for me being alone the majority of the time never really felt the same as ‘loneliness’, it was just something I was naturally inclined towards, and had fun doing. It didn’t seem abnormal until people pointed it out, or I started comparing myself with other ‘socialites’. I think it’s natural to feel lonely sometimes unless you have some kind of kindred person to connect with in your life. Thanks for reading!