The Dark Night of the Soul is one of the most painful, isolating, and destabilizing experiences in life. Yet it is also a tremendous blessing in disguise.
As a primordial process of death and rebirth, the Dark Night of the Soul is a period in life where we are stripped of everything that is false.
The veils of illusion are torn from our eyes. We suddenly see the fragility of ourselves, other people, and existence itself.
Out of nowhere, we start asking big questions such as “What is the meaning of life?” “What happens after death?” and “Why was I born?”
The more we start to question our lives, the more deception we come across. We see the lies perpetuated by society.
We see the ways we have become wounded and behave dysfunctionally. And we may even notice a sense of emptiness inherent in our lives. Something feels missing. But what?
For many people, the Dark Night of the Soul heralds big life shifts. We may quit our jobs, leave our marriage, and seek out something more meaningful and aligned with who we truly are.
For some, the Dark Night is a call to begin the spiritual wanderer’s journey toward self-actualization, spiritual illumination (or enlightenment), and reconnecting with the Soul.
Dark Night of the Soul Questions
When people first enter this dark period of life, they often have many questions.
It can feel scary to lose interest in what you once valued and have your life turned upside down. Due to its destabilizing effect on our lives, the Dark Night is synonymous with what is known as the spiritual emergency.
Here are some commonly asked questions which might help to relax your mind a bit:
Most people who go through the Dark Night feel a sense of loneliness, isolation, anxiety, and depression. It’s common to crave solitude and quiet, comforting environments. While some describe the experience as a death and rebirth, others describe it as the feeling of disintegrating or falling through a void.
The Dark Night of the Soul is an experience that is unique to everyone (although it does share many common characteristics). For one person it may last a few months, for others, it may last a year or many years. Most importantly, please understand that this is a temporary experience, and many people can relate to what you’re experiencing. You’re not alone, although it might feel that way.
There are many ways to answer this question, but it’s crucial to understand first and foremost that the Dark Night is a natural and organic process. Just as trees go through a period of losing their leaves in Autumn/Winter, so too do we as humans (metaphorically speaking). We all go through cycles of death and rebirth – periods where we are full of life and energy and then periods where we need to slow down and go within. The Dark Night helps us to stop and tune into our inner selves. It is a process that goes hand-in-hand with the spiritual awakening process and finding our true life purpose.
Good question! Think of the Dark Night of the Soul as entering a prolonged Winter period. What comes after Winter? Spring! After the Dark Night, we emerge refreshed, renewed, and ready to walk our true life paths. This is known as the ‘Illumination‘ stage on the spiritual wanderer’s journey. In this period, we have gained clarity, wisdom, tenderness, and the ability to tune into ourselves thanks to the Dark Night period. These qualities we then bring into our lives. It’s quite common to start big projects, make powerful life changes, and explore our newly found gifts after the Dark Night of the Soul. It’s a blessing in disguise.
Dark Night of the Soul Test
Are you experiencing symptoms of loneliness, isolation, depression, and soul loss? Does it feel as though you’re cut off or totally disconnected from the Divine?
If so, you may be experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul. Take our free Dark Night of the Soul Test to confirm (or challenge) your suspicions below:
What result did you get? Feel free to share your results in the comments as well as any reflections.
If you need more in-depth guidance, see our Dark Night of the Soul Journal for more help.
What has your experience during the Dark Night been like so far? I’d love to hear from you below. Your words might inspire or support someone else on this difficult journey.
(I’ve always been kind of a dark person tho tbh)
The test says I am indeed going through a Dark night of the Soul. It’s been happening for a very long time already, nearly ten years. At first it started with a deep dissatisfaction with everything in my life and questioning on topics such as who I am, why am I feeling this empty when I have everything I have ever wanted and where should I go next. Over time and through a lot of very deep soul work, I shed most of my previous values and started rebuilding myself. I am now in a much better place because I finally do not feel spiritually disconnected and that helps immensely with shedding light on the darkness which very often appears.
I can describe it like a cyclical process: I would go into a dark mood, then work on finding the causes, explore where they come from and what they mean to me and then that aspect would be solved. The lightness I would feel after solving a dark issue is incredibly beautiful. Only it only opens the space for a new dark issue to come to the surface, inviting the beginning of a new cycle of exploration and solving.
However, what I can say to whoever is struggling is that:
1. The light you feel in the end of the process is very much worth the pain you go through and
2. As you process more and more of your dark issues, it becomes easier to recognise them and solve them more quickly because over time you learn how to not fall in the abyss of the darkness, but stop yourself and approach the issue with awareness.
For me two approaches helped most. The first was journalling both in a free style and with the journals offered here (I have the Inner child, Shadow work, Dark night of the soul and the Self-love ones and I cannot recommend them enough, they helped me through some really tough stuff).
The other thing is Reiki. I went through all three practitioner levels (meaning I am now a Master practitioner, but not Reiki Master yet) and I have to say that Reiki helped quite a lot when the darkness was too much and I couldn’t process it.
I hope anyone who made it this far reading finds at least a bit of help in my words.
I wish you light.
Unbelievable..
I’m still experiencing this dark night of the soul, it’s been for such a long time now…
And my experience? It feels like an eternal, never-ending dark night full of emptiness, anhedonia and hopelessness.
I’m sorry to hear that and my heart goes out to you. Have you sought out support from a spiritual therapist (e.g., in the transpersonal field), ZeldAlice/Janni? That may be of help to you, as well as this guide: https://lonerwolf.com/spiritual-emergency/ 💜
Thank you so much for all your replies alongside with this one! 🙂
Sadly there is not really a that kind of spiritual therapist where I live, but I do have my mother and her friend. And when it comes to the spiritual stuff I do try to read online (this website included) plus that I have bought 2 of your books (also very grateful for them).
Other I am currently in therapy for my eating disorder and still I try to focus on that, even though I also have the trauma to be dealt with. But I try to take things one step at a time, even though I still face very challenging emotions, thoughts etc etc.
I will also definitely check out the link you provided, thanks alot for it all! 🙂
Well according to the test I am not going through a dark night of the soul.
But years ago I certainly have.
And now, it’s really hard to tell because it’s more homogenized, not clearly defined.
Things with me are hardly ever simple and polarized.
Yes, there are many nuances to life and our own inner experiences. Thank you for sharing Xen 🐺
Ten years ago I died in a car accident. Before this event, I was in the darkest period of my life and it took three months for me to remember the experience. So profound it was, that to this day I struggle with the words to describe it. When I was allowed to remember, the panic set in. Who can I talk to? Who would believe me? I had become a different person. I stare at pictures of me that had been taken before my after death and I look like a stranger. Someone I never knew. I was lucky enough to find a therapist who specializes in cases where people have trouble balancing their life after a spiritual emergence. So let me give courage and hope to anyone going through the dark night of the soul because as you say Luna, it can take months, a year or years. It will happen. Just keep looking for the light switch and you’ll find the door that will lead you out of the dark room.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Not as a teacher, but as an equal.
Thank you, Marci, for sharing your wisdom after such an intensely tumultuous experience. With love and respect 💜
‘Over 50%’
I don’t know when this process first came upon me but it’s been a few years, and counting. Life seems lackluster, even more so of late. I see the direction that society is headed and all I can say is, I won’t be meeting you there, not interested!
So little sincerity in people these days. The level of discussion on serious topics is a joke. I’ve always had a tough time relating to other people, but it’s getting tougher lately. There is little or no meaningful discourse these days. Seems like the world is full of automatons, where did all the humans go?
Am I invisible? I’ve heard that as a person their personal vibration levels they become partially or even totally invisible to the base human, or what I like to call, NPC’s, or None Participating Charracters, human ‘filler’ for the experience in this construct. Often my comment(s) in the presence of 3-4 people goes unnoticed.
HUH?
This sense of disillusionment and disappointment with humanity is something you’re certainly not alone in experiencing, Ken. In fact, at least in the circles I tend to hang around the periphery of, it’s the norm. This is where turning to ancient wisdom has helped me to see from a different vantage point. Taoism, for instance, shows that there are certain cycles of energy in nature and within humanity. When we go to one extreme, eventually, the pendulum swings the other way, and we adopt alternative qualities. It’s a balancing process. The yin becomes the yang; the yang becomes the yin. Perhaps that’s why the phrase “late-stage capitalism” is increasing in popularity – more people are recognizing that we’re reaching an endpoint of sorts. Things are beginning to shift. I’m not sure what type of people you’re surrounded by, but your thoughts and perspectives are definitely seen and valued here.