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ยป Home ยป Starting The Journey

19 Signs You’re a Highly Sensitive Person (+ How to Survive and Thrive)

by Aletheia Luna ยท Updated: Sep 30, 2022 ยท 343 Comments

highly sensitive person
Highly sensitive person HSP image

It all added up. Sensitivity to loud sounds, harsh light, emotional climates, and over-stimulating situations? I’d just discovered something amazing: I’m a highly sensitive person.

For years, since childhood, I had always believed there was something terribly weird, different, strange, or broken about me.

New situations easily overwhelmed me. Strangers set me on edge. Loud sounds made me jump out of my skin. And even the slightest amount of coffee or alcohol sent me into a tailspin.


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If you can relate to this level of sensitivity, you might be a highly sensitive person.

The life-changing reality of this label is that it helps you to accept that (1) you’re not crazy, (2) there’s nothing wrong with you, and (3) you’re not alone.

Table of contents

  • What is a Highly Sensitive Person?
  • 19 Signs You’re a Highly Sensitive Person
  • HSPs, Emotional Intensity, and Giftedness
  • Common Myths About the Highly Sensitive Person
  • How to Survive as an HSP
  • 5 Ways to Stop Emotional Snowballing as a Highly Sensitive Person

What is a Highly Sensitive Person?

Image of a highly sensitive woman in a blanket

Highly sensitive people (HSPs) are individuals who are genetically predisposed to higher levels of mental, emotional, and physical sensitivity. It is speculated that around 15-20% of our population is wired differently and therefore experiences life in a much more intense way than the average person. HSPs differ from neurotypical individuals in that they are more deeply impacted by sights, sounds, smells, tastes tactile sensations, and emotions.

19 Signs You’re a Highly Sensitive Person

Image of a highly sensitive person smiling

Mother of the discovery,ย Elaineย Aron, has been researching the highly sensitive person for over 20 years now. As such, she has a finely tuned list of traits and behavioral quirks that define the highly sensitive person. I’ve refined some of these traits below. See how many you can relate to:

  1. I’m aware of subtleties and nuances in different environments, e.g., a tap dripping too loudly, a light bulb burning too brightly, etc.
  2. I’m easily overwhelmed by the senses. Loud noises, strong smells, tastes, and light affect me negatively, e.g., the pounding music of nightclubs, loud busy freeways, and strong perfumes.
  3. I need to withdraw from busy days and take a break, or a nap, by myself.
  4. I’m overly sensitive to pain, e.g. needles, sports injuries, insect stings, etc.
  5. I become spooked and startled easily.
  6. I like to take my time, and not overload myself with too many activities as it drains andย overwhelmsย me.
  7. I prefer to avoid violent TV shows and movies.
  8. I find it hard to adapt to changes in my life.
  9. I tend to ruminate and process information deeply.
  10. I’m empathic. I’m aware of the way people feel around me, and when any slight change occurs in them.
  11. Emotional environments tend to affect me deeply.
  12. I’m often perceived as being introverted or shy.
  13. I’m profoundly moved by nature, the arts or music.
  14. I tend to be more philosophically and spiritually-orientated.
  15. I feel unusually strong emotions.
  16. I avoid and deeply dislike confrontation of any kind.
  17. I prefer to not be observed when fulfilling tasks: it unsettles me.
  18. I tend to avoid situations that are too intense or chaotic.
  19. I seem to process the world at a very deep level.

How many of these qualities did you say “yes” to? I’d love to hear in the comments!

HSPs, Emotional Intensity, and Giftedness

Image of a dandelion representing the highly sensitive person

Perhaps one of the defining qualities of being an HSP is how emotionally intense we are.

We feelย everythingย in an intense, passionate, and sometimes devastating way. This intensity often leads us to become artists, visionary leaders, innovators, mentors, healers, and therapists.


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But this is a bittersweet trait we share because while it helps us to live life with passion and intensity, it can also isolate us. We may be misunderstood, criticized, underpaid, undervalued, taken for granted, alienated, and generally perceived as being “too much.” We may be classified as neurotic, melodramatic, thin-skinned, or generally finicky โ€“ and mistreated because of it.

Yet, despite the many challenges we face, our intensity and giftedness as highly sensitive people also opens the doorway to potentially transcendent and cosmic adventures. For example, many people who are highly sensitive undergo spiritual awakenings and various mystical experiences. Because we are naturally sensitive and more in-tune with the undercurrents of life, we often find ourselves having paradigm-shifting insights about the nature of reality.

In fact, many highly sensitive people are also naturally gifted empaths andย old souls who gravitate toward various spiritual pursuits that explore the meaning of life and how to experience spiritual Oneness.

Regardless of whether you’re spiritually-inclined or not, you will have the insatiable need to live authentically and find your true purpose.

Common Myths About the Highly Sensitive Person

Image of a highly sensitive person in nature

As with any neuroatypical group, HSPs deal with their fair share of misguided judgments. Here are the three most common misconceptions about HSPs:

Myth #1: ย  HSPs are introverts

HSPs and introverts both reflect deeply and have rich inner worlds โ€“ but not all HSPs are introverted, and vice versa. In fact, as Aron points out, 30% of the total number of highly sensitive people are actually extroverted. It’s a smaller number, but it still shows that introversion does not always equate to being highly sensitive.

Myth #2: ย  Being an HSP is just another word for being shy

Just like introverts, highly sensitive people are often mislabeled as being shy. Although the two share things in common โ€“ such as sensitivity to overwhelming social situations โ€“ they are not the same thing. While shyness is learned, being a highly sensitive person is not.

Myth #3:ย  ย “HSP” is a mental disorder

For some, it can be easy to mistake the highly sensitive person as a sufferer of some strange mental condition. Although some HSPs possess separate mental illnesses, being sensitive does not automatically make someone mentally ill. Instead, sensitivity is a trait, a gift even, that some people possess and others don’t. Besides, what pathological mental disorder allows the sufferer to be endowed with such genuine joys as being more empathic, spiritually-orientated, and appreciating the details of life more fully?

How to Survive as an HSP

highly sensitive person

Due to their sensitive nature, highly sensitive people are prone to idealism and perfectionism. This often stems from deriving our self-worth from the opinion of others, and not valuing ourselves enough. (And the self-worth issues we often develop are due to not being appreciated or understood throughout life.)

Also, being a highly sensitive person can hit you hard if you’re a male. Being a thick-skinned logician is favored as the masculine ideal in the Western world, rather than the sensitive, emotional poet. But whatever difficulties we face as highly sensitive people can be overcome with the ability to reframe the negative into the positive, and actively work to better our environments. Here are some tips:

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1. ย  Learn to value yourself

I learned this the hard way. When we place too much importance on what people say and think about us, we create immense psychological tension and anxiety. We are living to satisfy the thousands of different perspectives of who we “should” be, rather than embracing what we are. In essence, we are creating the exact thing we try to avoid that is detrimental to us: too much internal pressure and chaos. So be nice to yourself. Learn to value your qualities and gifts. Realize that you’re the one and only master over yourself, and no one can have power over you unless you let them.

2. ย  Don’t take things personally

This tip, mentioned by Don Miguel Ruiz in his well-known bookย The Four Agreements, is essential for mental and emotional happiness.

The highly sensitive person is prone to get hurt easily by other people and their words. Consequently, we frequently find ourselves on-edge in social situations, trying to finely tune our behavior to avoid conflict.

When we take the insults and the moods of other people personally, we blame ourselves. We think that somehow we’re responsible, even deserve their abuse, but we’re not and we don’t.

To overcome the dilemma of taking things personally, try looking beyond your feelings. Use your ability to analyze instead and think to yourself, “I wonder what type of pain this person is suffering to treat me that way?” For example, perhaps they had a really bad day? Perhaps they’re going through a divorce? Perhaps they got triggered? Perhaps they had bad sleep?

When we ask these “why?” questions, we go beyond the initial sting of being mistreated and realize that ultimately, how people treat us is a reflection of them, not us. As Don Miguel Ruiz says, “nothing other people do is because of you.“

3. ย  Embrace solitude

Solitude is not loneliness, instead, it is a chosen form of being alone, rather than an imposed one. When we choose solitude and take mini-retreats from our stimulating days, we give ourselves the gift ofย re-cooperation. As highly sensitive people, we need to be in-tune with our minds and bodies and the warning signs of burnout, such as irritability and physical exhaustion. So take a bit of alone time to renew yourself.

4. ย  Investigate, identify, and act upon your sensitivity triggers

Wouldn’t life be a whole lot easier if we managed to resourcefully alter or intelligently negotiate our way around the stresses and stimulations that come our way? Of course, we can’t plan everything, but for the stresses currently existing in our lives, we can work to plan ahead and alleviate the incoming tension.

As an HSP, I struggled with this, stoically putting up with the extreme anxiety I felt at work until I realized that it was weakening my health. No, I didn’t do something drastic like quit my job, but I did decide to plan ahead and practice self-hypnosis every time I had to go to work, to prepare myself for the day. I still do.

As an HSP, you may be suffering from the same problem I did: a self-sacrificial acceptance of your less-than-healthy response to a situation in life. If you find yourself daily frazzled, try identifying what makes you so stressed out and think about what you can do to actively make your life easier to live. Life wasn’t meant to be bared with gritted teeth.

5 Ways to Stop Emotional Snowballing as a Highly Sensitive Person

highly sensitive person image

Your heart pounds, you begin to tremble, your chest constricts, pain shoots through your core, your mind blursย โ€ฆ ย and all this, simply as a response to a threat, insult or even a simple tone of voice.

Highly sensitive people frequently live life on the brink of emotional snowballing, a term I use to describe a situation where emotions get out of control and quickly become out of proportion to the situation at hand.

Just think of a small snowball rolling down a very steep hill โ€“ it becomes larger and larger and rolls faster and faster very quickly. For many highly sensitive people, this emotional turbulence is a fact of life.

But why? As Elaine Aron pointed out in her book The Highly Sensitive Person, โ€œmost of us are deeply affected by other peopleโ€™s moods and emotions.โ€ In fact, you could say that most highly sensitive people are simply excellent social chameleons to the emotional landscapes around them.

This can be good news if everything is peachy bliss, but many times, highly sensitive people find themselvesย absorbingย theย poisonous negativityย around them. You could say that the highly sensitive personโ€™s problem is taking things too personally. But itโ€™s much more than that. The highly sensitive person is deeply affected by any highly stimulating situation, whether physical, mental and emotional.


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In a sense, you could say they feel everything at a more extreme level than the non-HSP person. While this can make life a lot more profound for highly sensitive people, it can also make interpersonal relations very bitter indeed.

Below you will find four techniques I have found useful in preventing emotional snowballing. Iโ€™m a highly sensitive person myself and hope these will help quell the tidal waves of emotion when they roll your way:

1. ย Seek out a quiet, empty spot to cool down

As I mentioned before, highly sensitive people suffer a lot at the hands of hyper-arousing and stimulating situations. The best thing to do when you become aware of the symptoms of emotional stress is to remove yourself from the situation. Excuse yourself, or simply walk away from the person or people that are causing you harm and find a deserted, empty place.

I say deserted and empty because the least stimulating, the better. You need to make time to re-cooperate and soften the violent sensations inside of you. I find that the bathroom is usually the best place to go, especially when the lights are out and everything is muted and dim.

2. ย Focus on something that made you happy today

If nothing made you happy today, try the past week, or you could think about the best thing that ever happened to you. I find that focusing on something positive helps break the cycle of negative emotions that begin to quickly increase inside. It also helps to remind you that life wasnโ€™t always as painful as it seems in the present moment, and helps give you perspective.

If you have had a bad run-in with a specific person in particular, you can also try thinking of the last time you enjoyed being in their company. Did they make you laugh, did you share something nice together, were you excited to talk to them? This works especially well with family members and close friends who have upset you.

Itโ€™s good to remember that everyone has bad days once in a while, and they arenโ€™t necessarily angry at you โ€“ in fact, usually, they arenโ€™t. They are simply reacting to their own bad feelings and taking it out on you. Once again, this technique of focusing on a past positive experience works well after youโ€™ve sought out a quiet and empty spot to re-cooperate.

3. ย Listen to, or watch something upbeat

The biggest mistake that I made as a highly sensitive person was to listen to melancholic, dark music when I felt emotionally strained. Although itโ€™s nice to feel as though others can relate to the way you feel through their music, this is not always a healthy way to deal with emotional turmoil.

If youโ€™re primarily an auditory learner like me, listening to happy music is one of the best ways to stop emotional snowballing. I know it’s cliche, but try listening to โ€œDonโ€™t Worry, Be Happyโ€ by Bob McFerrin for starters! (It’s bound to make you smile!) If youโ€™re primarily a visual learner however, the next best alternative is to watch a comedic movie that will allow you to relax and break out of the negative cycles of emotion. Have a list of comedy movies at hand, just so you donโ€™t lose time frantically scavenging for one. (By the way, if you want to find out what kind of learner you are, take our Visual, Auditory, or Kinesthetic test.)

4. Ground and orient yourself to your surroundings

When you feel like you’re spiraling out of control (i.e., feeling overwhelmed, inundated, panicky, grief-stricken) find something beautiful, calming, or pleasant in your environment to focus on. This technique is often used in somatic psychotherapy for trauma sufferers and works wonders with highly sensitive people.

For example, you may choose to focus on a patch of sunlight on the ground, a vase of flowers in the distance, a child running and laughing, the calming color of the wallpaper, or anything else that brings you a burst of delight.

Orienting to something safe and pleasant in your environment is a powerful grounding technique that you can use anytime, anywhere.

5. ย Remember that this too will pass

Image of a joyful happy woman running

This philosophic approach to preventing emotional snowballing for the highly sensitive person is a powerful way to transcend your emotional strife and look at life with a birds-eye perspective.

Think of everything good and bad that has ever happened to you. All of it has passed by and has been replaced with something different: the good with the bad, and the bad with the good.

Life is a constant flux; a wax and wane of good and bad. If everything was always good, we would find life boring and weโ€™d take it for granted. In this way, the bad moments in our lives can even be seen as necessary and beneficial โ€“ they provide a contrast for the good so we can appreciate it even more fully.

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So just remember: when you are close to an emotional snowball, remember that this too will pass. Like everything in your past, it will perish and be replaced with something else.

Are you a highly sensitive person? ย Do you have anything to add to this article? ย If so, please do below.

Also, you may like to take our Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Test.

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About Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is a prolific psychospiritual writer, author, educator, and intuitive guide whose work has touched the lives of millions worldwide. As a survivor of fundamentalist religious abuse, her mission is to help others find love, strength, and inner light in even the darkest places. She is the author of hundreds of popular articles, as well as numerous books and journals on the topics of Self-Love, Spiritual Awakening, and more. [Read More]

(343) Comments

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  1. Luv Meesh says

    February 08, 2022 at 10:10 am

    Spot on thanks a million โœจ

    Reply
  2. Leilani says

    September 24, 2021 at 2:06 am

    I would love to be recognized in many pages as a badged top fan like Loner Wolf โ€˜ s , and all Godly like pages & stuff .

    Reply
  3. ROB ADRIAN says

    June 30, 2021 at 2:46 pm

    Back in the 70s-90s I had this complete adversion to Tele-evangelists ,I think I knew that all the tele-preachers were big fakes, and all of them did eventually did falter ,I just had to either change the channel or turn the Tv off,.I also really disliked rap music, ‘like teleevangelists , I just cant lissten to any of it,..I am a musician, and the adversion may come from my 50 years in music , but I have this strong sense of avoiding rap. angry people, teleevangelists confrontations ,even the mainstream news , I just avoid, anymore its like I can tell the news is lying,for nearly 13 years I avoid news ,.. I have disasociated from my sister and many other people that used to be friends because when I had to care for my dying mom 8 years ago, the family and a few others I knew were just trying to see what mom might will to them some friends were believing my sisters daughter who hated it that she didnt inherit the house as she thought , because I didnt go out and talk about all the lies ,.even though not all were doing that, but they talked behind my back there again I knew it, there wasnt any guess , I sensed the anger , and the greed ,.so I just left for 4 years came back and decided to not to have family, , around 2017-2019 that time 5 close friends all passed away which saddened me , I feel as I am an empath , I love animals and could never hurt them, except snakes .or rats people called me for years to talk to them and listen to problems health or love , I always felt like I was good at that ,because people would open up to me , I am or I have been spiritual, I am not religious however,..I always felt I have been here before, my intuition is strong, from the time i was 7 I had deeep feeling for native Americans and the genocide , somehow I knew this , snd just didnt relate to religion , I was able to lucid dream fairly easily , but havent been able to rekindle that amazing ability in years , I just dont sleep well enough any more ,..I was able to pick the presidents , the winners since Clinton , but was wrong on Trump in 2020, but I still know he won , I picked Obama as a president the very 1st time he spoke at his 1st +demo-convension ,… On … 911 and 1 week before the tragedy had an intense dream that foresaw this very very close to what happened 2 buildings falling , and people dying en mass somehow it was a major change , and I knew from the start that it was planned , dirty people, it was ,..I know it,.. ,even before GW Bush was a presidential candidate, I felt very much very like something was up . distressed over the man and somehow knew he was going to be involved in something, then he was,…2 years later , Im 62 years old and not really afraid of dying , at least I dont feel that its a scary thing,..any way I enjoyed your site and the info , maybe I amc a sensitive ,.

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      September 17, 2021 at 11:22 am

      Thank you for sharing Rob

      Reply
    • Luv Meesh says

      February 08, 2022 at 10:13 am

      โœจ

      Reply
  4. Joshua says

    June 22, 2021 at 3:12 pm

    This article has gave me clarity. I can relate to this entire article. Thank you

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      September 17, 2021 at 11:22 am

      โ™ก

      Reply
    • Barb says

      April 05, 2022 at 9:36 pm

      17 of them.

      Reply
  5. Daniel says

    May 24, 2021 at 8:51 am

    this articles is beautiful 99% of this articles have said it all about me

    Reply
  6. Christopher Neff says

    November 25, 2020 at 7:13 pm

    I have some questions about being an HSP Person, and the attitudes, opinions, and advice I often hear from numerous people, and resources regarding it:

    Should I feel the need to force myself on a roller coaster to make myself enjoy something awesome that Iโ€™m โ€œsupposedlyโ€ missing out on?

    So, is it bad if I refuse to ever even try a roller coaster once in my life?

    Is it weak, wimpy, or cowardly if I say I hate all thrills, and adrenaline, and canโ€™t handle drop feelings, anxiety, anticipation, knots in my stomach, pounding heart etc?

    I have a severe fear, and phobia of heights, fast movement, drop feelings, the stomach lifting feeling, etc.

    I can barely even handle the feeling of a car driving down a road that dips as it is.

    One of my worst nightmares is the idea of being forced onto a roller coaster somehow.

    I often have nightmares of being on one somehow, and not being able to get off.

    It could be from the constant pressure from the internet, and articles who insist that we MUST face our fears, at least once.

    I prefer peace, quiet, simplicity, and mundane as in underwhelming, and donโ€™t like a lot of stimulation good, or bad. I like my comfort zone the best. Is that a bad thing, or wrong?

    So, must I face my fear, and aversion of roller coasters, and ride one, even though I already know 100% that everything it entails, the feelings, sensations, emotions etc are all deeply upsetting, and traumatizing for me?

    Will that make me a wimp, coward, wuss, weakling, pathetic, less of a person/ man, simply because I refuse to, and canโ€™t, or just donโ€™t want to, and feel no need to subject myself to torture, and torment for no reason, and feel itโ€™s a waste of my time, and just a good way to ruin my day, or longer for me?

    I am high functioning autistic, and also HSP ( Highly Sensitive Person ) btw.

    People tell me that true friends never ever force anyone to do anything they fear, hate, are uncomfortable with, or just donโ€™t want to do, etc, but I just donโ€™t buy it.

    This is why I have no friends, is because I am paranoid to make any, as all they seem good for is to force things on people, and traumatize them.

    My fear of being forced to ride a roller coaster causes me to not want to make any friends, because I canโ€™t trust anyone but myself, and being alone for the rest of my life is the only way to guarantee 100% that I wonโ€™t ever be forced to ride one.

    Whatโ€™s so wrong, bad, and horrible about me living a completely 100% roller coaster free existence?

    So, with all that said, is that considered me not getting out of my comfort zone by refusing to ever ride a roller coaster even once, because I know they are bad for me on an physical, psychological, and emotional level?

    And ultimately, should I feel weak, cowardly, wimpy, wussy, pathetic, and inadequate for not being able to do, or handle something even little kids can?

    Should I feel ashamed, cowardly, or weak if I were to tell you that I am the type that canโ€™t handle any horror at all whatsoever, and avoid all things scary like the plague, and scored 100% avoidance in that self test you linked?

    I only watch romantic comedies, comedies, kids shows, cartoons, and things that are light hearted, funny, and pretty much sunshineโ€™s, and rainbows at all times.

    I canโ€™t handle sad, or depressing shows, or movies either. Is that bad?

    Should I just suck it up, learn to get over it, and start exposing myself to horror to get myself used to it, and start watching some of them? Do I need to do that for my own health, and growth etc?

    Or, is it okay if I just keep doing things the way Iโ€™m doing the that feels right for me, and makes me most comfortable, which means continuing to avoid all things horror, and never watch any sort of scary movie at all?

    They caused me a lot of anxiety, stress, and depression in the past.

    The reason I asked that is because everyone, including therapists online that I can’t go through life avoiding things I hate, or fear. They said that only makes the anxiety, or discomfort worse. They claim that the more you resist something, the more it kicks back, fights, and drags you down until you either face it, and conquer it, or be pulled under, and drowned by it.

    They said that fears are meant to be challenged, faced, and conquered, not avoided, and ran away from. They said that if we do that, the fear wins, and we become controlled, and bullied by it, and then it becomes debilitating, and absolutely takes over, and ultimately dictates what experiences of life we can do, and not do, and we find ourselves cut off from a lot of new experiences, and potentially fun things, because we use our HSP as a crutch, and excuse to isolate ourselves, and not put any effort into actually trying things, or over coming things.

    They told me that the only way to conquer a fear is by facing it head on, and throwing yourself at it, and hoping for the best.

    They said that there is absolutely nothing that can’t be fixed, treated, and cured with some sort of combination of Cognitive Therapy, Exposure Therapy, and Aversion Therapy, etc.

    So they told me that I need to suck it up, and get over my hatred, and fear of horror movies by forcing myself to watch so many of them, over, and over again that I become dissensitized to everything in them.

    And also:

    I hate spicy foods, as I have no pain tolerance for them. Do I “need” to gradually build up a tolerance to them like so many articles suggest? Am I really cheating myself out of, and cutting myself off from, so many different cultures, and cuisines, by being a coward, and wuss, and not putting in the required amount of work to make myself like spice? I know they are healthy for you, but will my health be bad, or will I die younger if I continue to live a spice free existence? Isn’t there other ways to get the same health benefits from other things without making spice mandatory? I mean, how to vegans survive when they skip almost everything?

    The other thing is: I was never officially diagnosed as being an HSP, but I was officially diagnosed as being High Functioning Autism, and Aspergers. So, I might be getting the two mixed up.

    That scares me if it’s true, because if Kim not actually a true HSP then I can no longer use that label, and then I don’t have any excuse to back me up, and justify my lifestyle, and choices to others when trying to defend myself towards everyone else who thinks I should be doing things differently.

    And in that case, that makes me wonder if I really am using HSP as an excuse to be self limiting, defeating, and pathetic.

    So, with all of that said, does it sound like I’m using my HSP as an excuse to cheat myself out of new experiences, personal growth, and development? I don’t feel like I am, but everyone else seems to think so.

    So, am I doing anything wrong with my lifestyle, and choices, what I choose to pursue, and what I choose to avoid, what I like, what I fear, hate, can’t stand, upsets me, traumatized me, overwhelms me, and all in all, just makes me generally miserable whether I’m an actual HSP, or not?

    Am I an embarrassment to HSP’s everywhere if that makes sense? Because I often feel like one after listening to everyone else, and reading all those articles online etc.

    Reply
    • Mel says

      December 15, 2020 at 7:35 am

      Hi Christopher,
      You should look into what that reoccurring dream means(rollercoaster dream) Our subconscious speaks to us thru dreams. Don’t do anything youโ€™re not comfortable with no matter what!
      You are not weak just because youโ€™re different. Remember to always stay true to yourself and maybe you should strengthen your intuition. Intuition helps guide us.
      Hope this helps. Much love .

      Reply
  7. Zaeda says

    November 24, 2020 at 1:05 am

    I was yes to all but I like movies like hunger games, and Independence Day. Strangly Iโ€™m under 13 ( I feel uncomfortable about telling people on the internet my spasific age)but I know and love those movies. I loved your articuls, I think they will be helpful. Thanks for posting this.

    Reply
    • Heather says

      December 01, 2020 at 6:50 am

      I like Independence day, too!

      Reply
  8. Brokeback Mountain says

    August 24, 2020 at 4:39 am

    Iโ€™m a guy who is same-sex attracted (that means Iโ€™m gay), to paint the scene

    So in sharing my HSP major fight with myself:-

    *Itโ€™s my own voice!*

    I abstain from public speaking that uses microphones. Which holds me back from getting on any stage to deliver a lecture or wedding speech, or eulogy. I canโ€™t bring myself to do karaoke which is supposed to be fun. Itโ€™s not voice stutter. Though I did have some stutter communication type issues briefly in late primary & in some highschool periods. Just HSP higher needs stuff I guess

    Still now as an adult, if Iโ€™m in a conference setting as a participant and handed the microphone, I gotta pass it on, as my voice is not the voice I hear in my head

    When Iโ€™m thinking in my mind and when Iโ€™m reading out aloud to myself I hear a regular guy voice, but when I hear a recording of my voice or it is projected with sound equipment, itโ€™s terrible, to put it bluntly my voice sounds so un-male, stereotypically flagrantly flamboyantly homosexual. Iโ€™ve had this since my early childhood. I was teased and bullied at school even gang bashed by older school girls. Everyone thought it was funny

    I tried real hard when I was younger to be normal and fit in with the other young people around. They (the girls predominantly/ more female pupils) were superficial, mean, nasty. That was the flavour of the day. I had very few male acquaintances. Often Iโ€™d just go to the library, no sport, I was self-ashamed (but letโ€™s not revisit those past negative emotions)

    I was judged, despised and hated even though I wasnโ€™t like the stereotypical crass type of gay guy (no judgement, we are all at different stages of our journey). I never publicly admitted to anyone I was gay. I tried to always show happiness on the outside so I wouldnโ€™t get picked on for looking like I had [ mental health issues/ depression ] or that I was an illicit substances addict/ self-afflicting myself as that was also seen as attention-seeking and further weekness to pick on. While the HSP side of me was screaming โ€œget me out of this!โ€, ah, alas I was stuck, but not dead *phew* and I survived, and survived, and kept surviving day after day :-)

    I know there is a big socialist androgyny activism movement happening at the moment. But that is not my personal resonate identity, I am male, I present as alpha-type male, Iโ€™m attracted to (alpha-presenting) males. Androgyny is not my calling

    Bless

    Thanks LonerWolf

    Reply
  9. Anon says

    August 24, 2020 at 1:41 am

    Thanks for this article and effort put into all your online material, and thank you to commenters for sharing thoughts (the good, the bad, the ugly, and other etc). Powerful, thought provoking, wholistic

    (I started off responding to one of the earlier commenters but my response kinda blew out, so make a cuppa! soz :-)

    I come from a family with my siblings very likely being of some degree in the HSP spectrum. All of us have found it very difficult to find companions/ compatible spouses, who are understanding/ supportive, stable/ strong/ non-bullying & exploitational. Less and less people can relate to our โ€œempathicโ€ style value system. Society is evolving so rapidly. Perhaps degenerating, maybe even similar to what happened to the Roman empire. A lot of traditional common manners, fellow-courtesy/ civility/ respect is vanishing. So much is being jumbled up, who knows where itโ€™s all heading, somewhere good? or uprisings & civil war/ world war & mass death. A lot of this is to do with social engineers who work behind the scenes double-time pushing their value system of a new world order whether they actively recognise this is what theyโ€™re actually doing or not. When you can standardise a global society from a commercial perspective, you can quantify what to pump out of your factories

    Unfortunately for these greed mongerers too, HSPโ€™s donโ€™t fit into a one-size-fits-all give-them-a-pill & tell-them-to-go-away and do-some-more-consumerism and pay-more-tax type of solution address. But I have to be careful what I write here as that all starts to get interpreted as politically loaded to do with the very fine line between socialism and communism blah blah blah, & we need uncensored access to websites like LonerWolf to be accessible globally, essentially to keep growing/ for humanityโ€™s sake

    …….

    In positive contemplation of comments by commenter Fei, from Oct 2019:-

    your comments re-iterate to me how bad I feel that I have for a long time misunderstood my sister, and now have to be content with accepting what I canโ€™t understand about her (from an empathy perspective, psychologically etc) and move on in that mind-set

    I donโ€™t want to paint the wrong image, she has intelligence and is beautiful on the inside (once upon a time very physically beautiful on the outside too). She is very soft in disposition, feminine-female. The world has not been loving and kind to her as she โ€œwalked into itโ€ upon adolescence & adulthood. I know she has always been the epitome of innocence. Making genuine longer-term friendships has been non-existent for her, perhaps she comes across as โ€œnothing โ€˜meatyโ€™ to contributeโ€. Thatโ€™s terrible for me to say I know

    I feel to an extent I failed her as her older brother, I just couldnโ€™t comprehend her on many levels. Her reasoning & logic is so different to mine and mumโ€™s. Iโ€™ve always shared with my mum (in America they say mom, but anyway) and neither of us could understand my sisterโ€™s seemingly offbeat sense of logic & rationale, maybe my sister was more sane on a different level I myself have โ€œnot been toโ€. My mum eventually encouraged me to let it go, let it be. At some point we all have to stand on our our own 2 feet and be accounted for under the lore/ law of the Universe. Hurts (hurts a lot), but I ascribe to a mini mantra: keep faith, love, & belief in the Universe that whatโ€™s right will unfold in the end

    ……

    Iโ€™m looking forward to digesting more comments, thank you to all for sharing your HSP sanity

    Best

    Reply
    • LiveIt says

      July 12, 2023 at 11:46 pm

      I would make a suggestion for reading:

      Living With Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and the Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults

      my brother recommended this book to me and I have found it to be very helpful in understanding my sensitivity and sensitivity in others. It also follows a very positive psychological model that explains โ€œspiritual โ€œ experience like the dark night of the soul in a very comprehensive and scientific way.

      Reply
  10. heyheyhey says

    August 21, 2020 at 7:05 pm

    Ngl the list just sounds like autism symptoms

    Reply
    • Anon says

      August 24, 2020 at 2:22 am

      it very much does come across that way ie as autism & perhaps there is contemporary stuff here for psychologists & psychiatrists to work with to provide best case management if applicable on an individual basis. I feel myself I may have been undiagnosed in the Aspergers spectrum. One of my year 8 highschool teacherโ€™s told me after class that she felt I had [ some form of cognition defect ], which really hit me hard on the inside as I felt I was โ€œabnormalโ€ to all the other kids then, maybe thatโ€™s why I didnโ€™t โ€œfit inโ€, her words as a qualified professional confirmed what I was really trying not to believe. Itโ€™s difficult for teachers as they must do their job properly. Iโ€™m glad nothing further come of that encounter. I managed to pull through with the right kind of healthy self-love kind of thinking and tried not to stand out as freak or dumb. No kid wants to be โ€œabnormalโ€, and picked on, thatโ€™s just terrible. That was happening all around me. Iโ€™ll stop there on that

      Iโ€™m glad I didnโ€™t get officially diagnosed or undertake any formal psych tests etc, and that I had a very very supportive family life to sink into for my developmental years; my parents didnโ€™t need a label/ โ€œproblemโ€ child, there was no time for that, they themselves were young too doing the best they could with the resources they had

      Some elementary research will show you that the brain develops very differently for some peopleโ€™s eg apparently Einstein was an average school student and his brilliance didnโ€™t come unto him until into his adolescent years. We are all at different stages of experiencing growth and maturity and it is no oneโ€™s business to condemn or judge another. (Which is perhaps where there is defect with the law/ legal system in our contemporary times of psychological & scientific enlightenment ie people who take irresponsible actions being inappropriately/ severely/ heavily penalised and the cost in tax payers money in perpetuating some of that systemโ€™s operation. But thatโ€™s a completely separate topic/ not LonerWolf stuff )

      Best

      Reply
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