As a kid, I was convinced that I wanted to be a quirky primary school teacher, just like my dad. Then, as I grew older, I wanted to be a theatrical designer, and finally an “edgy” librarian.
In truth, I ended up as none of those things and wound up doing something I never planned or expected: creating this website, lonerwolf, and guiding people through the awakening journey.
But here’s a secret. Now that I’m in my mid-ish thirties, I still don’t always know what to do with my life.
“But you run this website!” you might protest. Well, yes. I do.
However, the reality is that I frequently feel lost, unsure of where to guide this work next, and at times empty and uninspired.
In fact, I have literally gone years sometimes just throwing stuff out there and hoping it sticks or makes some kind of legible sense.
At the end of the day, I believe uncertainty is part of what it means to be human.
Can you relate?
If you struggle with the sense that you don’t know what to do with your life, you’re not the only one.
This feeling can stir up some pretty disturbing feelings of existential dread, anxiety, confusion, and fear that maybe “you’re wasting your life” or whittling away your time meaninglessly.
Having no idea what to do with our life can make us feel like failures and imposters pretending to have it all together externally while feeling internally messy.
But here’s the thing: I believe having no idea what to do with your life is actually a good thing when embraced with open arms.
Strangely, accepting your feelings of “I don’t know what to do with my life” actually leads to the solution itself and the path that is uniquely yours.
Table of contents
Why Having No Idea What to Do With Your Life is Actually a Good Thing
People, chained to monotony, afraid to think, clinging to certainties … they live like ants. – Bela Lugosi
I’m going to make a wild statement here:
Certainty is the death of creativity, curiosity, and innovation.
We’re taught that we “should” know what to do with our lives. But why? Why should we know what to “do” with our lives?
Shouldn’t life be an adventure, rather than a steady monotonous march to our graves?
If you have no idea what to do with your life, count yourself lucky. You aren’t deadened by a belief, an ideal, or a dogma. You are fresh, free, and available to new possibilities.
Having “it all figured out” not only makes you rigid and crusty like stale bread, but it’s also positively stupid.
As philosopher Bertrand Russell once wrote,
One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision.
Moving on, let me summarise this all in a few bite-sized reflections:
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- Knowing something with certainty typically makes you rigid, closed off to new ideas, and therefore uncreative.
- Feeling lost and adrift in life helps you to become open and receptive to fresh information, increasing your creativity.
- Not knowing what to do with your life breaks you out of old patterns and keeps you humble.
In the words of psychoanalyst Erich Fromm, “Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.”
We are living in the age of the creator, and not knowing what to do with your life is a prerequisite for sharing something meaningful with the world – take it from someone who has been doing this for 12+ years.
The Mind Tries to Figure Out “What to Do” With Life, The Soul Trusts and Opens
It’s normal to think to yourself, “I don’t know what to do with my life,” and to despair that there’s no clear path or answer.
It’s maddening, isn’t it, trying to figure it all out?
This is the mind at work, frantically scrambling to make things follow a logical structure, make sense, and control the uncontrollable current of life.
You may find that just when you’ve caught on to “The Answer,” something else unexpected crashes into your life and throws you back to square one again.
Don’t worry about any of this mental struggle. It’s normal. Just recognize that, in the words of philosopher Søren Kierkegaard, life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.
Your mind will never come to a satisfactory conclusion because the nature of the mind is to constantly have a problem to fix, a bone to chase, an unreachable horizon to pursue.
Instead, recognize that the state of ‘not-knowing’ allows you to tune into your heart’s wisdom rather than your mind’s projections.
Not-knowing – that is, stepping outside of thought and into the space of surrender to the Divine’s flow – is the path of creative success and life purpose.
Not-knowing allows you to taste the succulent sweetness of divine inspiration, which is what you’re really looking for deep down. You want to meaningfully give back to the world and make some kind of difference, right?
Divine inspiration is that which gives your life a direction based on energetic flow, not on mental “know” – that is, the mind’s tendency to try and “know-it-all” rather than trust in a greater intelligence.
A Simple Solution: Ask This One Powerful Question
As we’ve covered so far, when you feel lost and adrift in life, a powerful space within you opens to:
1. Become receptive to new ideas
2. Access more creative fluidity
3. Change old ingrained patterns
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4. Tune into your heart’s wisdom, not your mind’s projections
But how do you tune into your heart’s wisdom, your soul’s deeper truth?
I love this question posed by author Joseph Nguyen in Don’t Believe Everything You Think,
A question that greatly helps me to settle the thinking and tap into the limitless well of possibilities of what I could create is: “If I had infinite money, already traveled the world, had no fear, and didn’t receive any recognition for what I do, what would I do or what would I create?” Whenever we ask questions, answers always arise. It is impossible for our brains to hear a question and not come up with a response. So when you ask yourself this question, whatever begins to come up for you without any manual thinking will be from the divine and from inspiration versus desperation.
Take some time out to genuinely contemplate this question. Do this right now.
If your mind feels busy, return to this question later. But don’t avoid it. I find that it helps to visualize the question, then let the mind quiet and wait.
What came up for you? I’d love to hear.
Remember that trusting and opening to a state of not-knowing and embracing that you have no idea where your life is going is much healthier and saner than trying to “figure it all out,” have a “ten-step plan,” or be perfectly aligned with your goals one hundred percent of the time.
Trust in the flow and see where it takes you. Enjoy the ride and have fun. Having no idea what to do with your life is a good thing: it keeps you humble, open, and creative.
If you think of yourself as a seeker trying to connect to your soul’s deeper purpose, I’ve created the Spiritual Wanderer Course to support you. Every journey follows an archetypal pattern, and I help you tap into yours via three hours of audio-visual content, journals, a private test, and more. Check it out here!
That’s it for this week.
Until next time, keep embracing not-knowing. :)
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This is one of my favourite posts ever! I grew up being expected to know what I was going to do with my life and have it all figured/mapped out in great detail.
I’ve had to reinvent myself so many times over the years and finally realized that I no longer have any ideas 💡. I’ve been sitting in the uncomfortable waiting for the opportunities (abundance) to reveal themselves and I’m happier for it. I have an opportunity to interview for a coproduction on addressing poverty, disability, addictions, and homelessness. I have lived experience with this with the exception of addictions to bring to the table. It’s a 2 year commitment with honorariums and a chance to create positive social impact within my community in meaningful ways. I can turn my painful experiences around and help empower others!
Thank you 🙏 for sharing this and everything you do!
I hope 🤞 I’m chosen for this amazing opportunity. They’re only choosing between 6-8 people with lived experience. I’m completely open to what the universe provides for me. I’ll know if I’m chosen for this committee by the end of February at the latest and the committee will commence this March.
I’ve been reading your work for about 2 years and I think this may be my favorite post yet! It gave me so much peace to consider the beauty that can come from not knowing. The question you posed is very powerful.
Flow > Know !!! I love this <3
Thanks for sharing I needed to read this :) I want to live my life driven by curiosity. I have a lot of ideas and dreams, making my 2nd quarter life journey more exciting and meaningful :D
For example. this morning my boyfriend and I watched Tiny House Hunting and it would be dope to live like a “snail” towing your own little home, hopping from state to state at our own pace, seeing beautiful places, visiting loves ones, finding a profession to contribute to society, and especially having a craft that keeps us joyful.
Also, a book recommendation! Big Magic by Liz Gilbert. It’s about creative living and the concept on how ideas are their own essence / magic that seek a host to make them come alive. I wish to keep myself open to these ideas throughout my life. This book serves as my annotated bible :) as well as your Awakened Empath book I just finished last week!
Thank you so much for this piece. It makes total sense. Connects to mental health too, it’s okay not to have a set path. Turn what we deem to be a negative state into a positive state. Think of our very distant ancestors, they could not plan their whole lives, just went with their flow of life. Thank you.
The idea of what to do with my life. Also why am I here has been a long progression of growth and frustration for me. I really like your advice or suggestion to listening to the trust and opening of your soul. I took that to heart many years ago, so important to me now. Bless you for work.
Firstly, congratulations on receiving Sage into your lives! In response to having the message in the entire email, I prefer it this way. With regards to not having life all figured out : that’s me!!! I would envy those who knew what they wanted to study after school, get the job, etc etc. but looking at them now, they’re still wrapped up in that life. I guess having Sagittarius rising conflicts with Sun and Venus in Virgo so it’s been a long and difficult journey through “the system”. But now at 54 I can say with confidence f-that and I’m happy with the life I’ve created 😃
Wow. This summed up and simplified so many thoughts and reflections i had on this topic, spending what feels like every minute of my life past few years figuring out what my phrlose is and why i feel like im wasting time all the time just being (minus few distractions called life haha)
Brilliant newsletter thank you and you’re an inspiration for keep going with the loner wolf despite confusions or temp doubts. Your page was one of the first anchors i found seeking answers on what was happening to me or for me when i was first knowingly awakening. I really needed it so thank you ❤️
Mind will always seek next thing, so true, it’s essential for our wellbeing to switch of from its constant narrative 💚
Philanthropy comes to mind. Physically helping people, animals and the Earth. Being apart of making the world a better place for all.
Thank you and God Bless for this. Every word speaks to me…more than that – every word reaches a place within.
Spot on, as always! Thank you for sharing. I feel the same with my blog :)) The question exercise was valuable, I pretty much already do everything I would do, just on a smaller scale. It’s so great to have you guys alongside on this mysterious and at times lonely path that is life, especially when you surrender and trust life to take the reigns…