I want to share with you one of the most beautiful experiences that I’ve ever had.
It occurred two days ago as I was sitting down quietly, listening to the sounds of the night. As I looked up at the white walls and ceiling encircling me, I was suddenly overcome with a strange sense of “waking up” from a very long and intricate dream that I had been taking part of for my entire life.
Sol – who was in the room with me – seemed to merge with me so there was no “me” or “him,” there was no “self” or “other,” just an inexplicable vastness, an endless wholeness. For those few moments, everything was an expression of perfection and underneath all that I saw was an infinite stillness and silence; a purity of unity.
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And it was in that moment that everything I have ever looked for, everything I have ever intuitively sensed and desired, was fulfilled.
Here’s what I have taken away from that experience to share with you:
Our Quest to Build the Ideal Self
When we begin our spiritual journeys of inner growth, we discover many things about ourselves, other people and the world.
We uncover the lies we tell ourselves and others, the lies the world tells us, we work on exploring our personalities, we work on improving our personalities, we heal our wounds, we try to make peace with ourselves, we try to make amends with others … and many more things that go hand-in-hand with the cultivation of self-awareness, self-discovery, self-understanding and self-transformation. These are all very useful practices.
Eventually, we develop a pretty good understanding of ourselves – of our flaws and strengths, of our core wounds and shadow elements and of our true dreams and gifts. We nourish our bodies, change our diets, create healthy personal boundaries, cut away toxic habits, say goodbye to destructive people, build new friendships and relationships, and eventually develop love and respect for who we think we are. This is all imperative.
And yet … we always feel as though something is missing in our lives.
We still work to pursue creating an “ideal self,” that always feels happy, that never suffers and that is constantly at peace. We still work to build and enhance our identities, whether through identifying as vegans, as yogis, as empaths, as intuitives, as Buddhists, as healers, as spiritual students or teachers, as Old Souls, as shamans, as eco warriors, and as any of the other hundreds of identity labels we love to collect and embody.
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And yet … we are never happy. We always seek more – we always seek to “be” more. Our quest is never-ending. We think that we can “defeat” the mind by using the mind … but have you ever questioned the validity of this? Have you ever asked yourself the following question:
“Will I ever be enough?”
Will You Really Ever “Be Enough”?
The question may seem absurd: “Of course I am enough!” you might think as I once did. “I am a smart, attractive, intelligent, kind and loving person – of course I am enough!”
Yes, yes you are. And to achieve this kind of self-respect is an important part of the growth process away from self-hatred to self-love.
But there comes a time after you have cultivated self-love and self-respect where you come to realize something miraculous:
You will never be enough because who you “think” you are is not truly “who” you are.
All of the memories, all of the beliefs, all of the associations, all of the spiritual and worldly labels, all of the tastes, all of the traumas, all of the loves and hates, all of the insecurities and strengths, they are not truly “who” you are.
And no matter how highly you regard yourself, no matter how popular, liked, celebrated, or lovable you are – your identity remains as a burden; a barrier that prevents you from the purest self-realization which is that you are an expression of Oneness. Your true nature has no name, no form, no identity, no limits. You are everything and nothing at the same time.
6 Powerful, Paradigm-Shifting Questions
Six of the most powerful questions you can ever ask yourself in any moment are to do entirely with who you “think” you are. They include the following:
- Am I this emotion?
- Am I this thought?
- Am I this physical sensation?
- Am I this circumstance?
- Am I this body?
- Am I this personality?
At first these question might sound strange, overly simplistic, and even bizarre. But the more self-aware you become of your thought processes which give birth to your feelings, perceptions, assumptions and beliefs about the world, the more you will come to see how closely you identify with all of these six elements.
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When I first started asking these questions, I was immediately uncomfortable and unwilling to completely follow through all the way to the end with such self-inquiry. I thought, “If I’m not this emotion, thought, physical sensation, experience, circumstance, body and personality because they are all transient and subject to growth, change and decay … what am I?”
My conclusion was, “I am none of these things – I am nothing!” And because of my dark and miserly associations with the word “nothing,” I have neglected to ask these questions seriously.
But I have recently experienced otherwise. I have discovered the truth which is that being “nothing” is paradoxically being everything. Being empty of your fabricated identity is paradoxically being completely full and whole again. Far from being desolate and void, being “nothing” is existing in a state of immense rest, of endless peace and profound liberation.
Once you investigate the true depths of the question, “Who am I?” you come to a fascinating realization: “you” are not who you think you are, what you assume you are, what you have been taught you are, or what you have come to believe you are, and you never have been. Why? Because all of these things are temporary, passing and transient.
For the soul experiencing a spiritual awakening, this opens the final door to liberation; from the belief of “I am this or that,” to the realization of “I am.”
***
If you would like to experience the reality that you are not who you think you are, if you would like to experience spiritual Oneness, I encourage you to make a habit out of asking the six questions above. Bring them into your meditation practice each day, and see what happens.
At first you may feel bored, tired, even annoyed by the practice. But with time, with self-discipline, you’ll come to truly and deeply understand and embody your True Nature.
May you awaken. May you grow. May you taste truth.
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2. Shadow & Light Membership: Seeking ongoing support for your spiritual journey? Receive weekly intuitive guidance and learn to embrace your whole self, including your shadow side. Deepen your self-love and receive personal support from us.
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Hello, my response to a question such as “Who are you?” would always be “Nobody.”
In that case you might like: https://lonerwolf.com/egocentric-self-esteem/ :)
I get it. Everything and nothing. True! I simply am. Alright. Got it.
(can’t get enough of this!)
Is this is ultimate thing for being yourself as who you are?
This is absolutely living in present moment.
There are no goals here after but only observation and awareness of world through lifelong which is around us.
This is ultimate achievement for the person who born on this planet
Now I understood there is no birth no death just visiting this planet
And I also realised that I should surrender to this god/non duality which is present within me and develop a healthy ego without forgetting my unique meanings and true life callings of my soul.
if you stop defining yourself by restrictions, you are not “nothing” but simply unrestricted…..
“Inside I am like a composer, orchestrating music. Outside I am like a mirror for all to see.”
My recent discovery of my own self …this article has made d confirmation…i have written a poem after realizing this…
“I am NOTHING”
I am coming from nowhere
Going back to dust
Skipping a beat of heart by looking up on d unending universe
I am nothing in this nothingness
Such a small life carried in this body
Uncertain of happenings stuck within mind
Filling hearts with hatred,jealousy,ego
I am nothing but a spark who wants to ignite the evil hearts and lighten with “LOVE”
LIONS TIGERS AND BEARS. OH MY! I l LOVE THAT. AND EYE FELT THAT. I ALWAYS SAID TO SELF. THIS IS NOT WHO EYE AM. I’m THE BLACK
SHEEP OF MY SO CALL EARTHLY FAMILY. AND EYE LOVE IT. EYE A SPIRITUAL BEIN. JUST HAVING A HUMAN EXPERIENCE. EYE AM (SOURCE). SO IS THE COSMIC BODY. AS IS THE HUMAN MIND. SO IS THE MICORONISM. AS IS THE MIROCONISM. SO IS THE ATOM. AS IS THE UNIVERSE. EYE AM OF THE UNIVERSE EYE AM (SPIRITUALLY FREE). Eye AM THE LUCIFER TBE BRIGHT AND MORING STAR EYE THE TRUTH THE LIGHT ANY THE WAY. IAM A GOD. GODDESS. A SPITUAL BEIN DO NOT NEED BOOKS. AND SOO ON. I ALREADY COMNECT TO SOURCE AND THE UNIVERSE. THE SUN IS BLACKNESS JUST AS ONE IS. IT HAD MY D N A. THE UNIVERSE IS BLACK. BLACKNESS. THAT WERE EYE GET MY MELIANIN TONE FROM IAM TBE EYE AM
Wow. I had understood that nothing lasts forever. But, I then left ‘Who am I’ laying there. Then I began becoming more councious of it and asking questions, I left everything aside, yet asking the last two I identified with: am I this body? am I this personality? It was clear to me that personality shifted, so I wondered if there was a consistent axis around it, and I thought well the body is where we manifest everything right? So it must have something to do… . Then I came across: we are spiritual beings, having a human experience, and my question was answered. And now, I didn’t want to admit personality won’t be consistent, wait, but I still don’t know if temperament can change… That’s the only thing left unanswered. If it can change, then ‘I am’. But it seems so vague, yet it makes perfect sense because the opposing force of nothing is everything and nothing can’t exist without everything so we are both at the same time, we just are.
This is so confusing, but seems so true. Yet, now, what can I do? This is when you ask… Am a I better off dead because there is no point in just being? But is there a point in just being? If I use the logic that one can not exist without the other, then we just are again. And there is no there is a point or there is no point. So now I am just confused on what to do of my life. I want to experience fulfillment, but now I don’t see meaning in it. Is there meaning in ‘I am’ therefore I will trandecend and align with the cosmos(higher existence alignment to your body, heart, mind, and soul)? There is no meaning because we just are. But to just be, don’t you have to align with these? I have gotten to this point by doing just that without naming it.
So, what is life? Just being? Just evolving because of just being…. That may be the answer. What does it mean ‘I am’? Isn’t it, I am not anything but the being I am being in the present moment that learns and trandecends so I will always just be, therefore ‘I am’. That’s it. It makes sense now. It feels right to answer ‘who am I?’ with ‘I am’. Because that is the ultimate answer. But I do not understand how ‘I am’ contributes to the human experience… and I do not understand what is beyond the human experience. Is it a higher state of consciousness? Is that as far as we can go? Is that all there is to life of you remove everything? Are the purists to nurture the body, mind, soul, and heart futile? Or is it the way you purse them by aligning them to the highest state of concoiousness being enlightenment? Is that the answer to life? Life just ‘Is’, we just ‘are’, I just ‘am’, therefore I will evolve and change and that is life? I think so, but I feel fault in it. Why is it that I do?
Is it that I find this belief to be extreme? Futile? Incredibly stupid? Is it that I am just struggling or accept the truth that has been presented at me? Isn’t it that? It is the truth, right? Right? Why wouldn’t it be the truth? Let’s see, let’s analyze… The world is a big place, and it constantly changes because nothing lasts forever, and it can change for the better or the worse of life. If ‘Life is’ then life will never stay the same as well as its participants, therefore ‘Everything is’ because everything is nothing and everything is everything. This opposing forces make up what is life, and ‘life is’. Therefore the answer is right.
But what about all the values that keep us grounded such as ‘moderation: nothing is black or white’ mean? Are these futile too? Especifically nothing is black or white… . Wait! But, isn’t that belief also grounded to everything just is because opposing forces will always create balance… Black and white will always create grey, which is the balance, which again means everything is. But, does that mean that the planet can’t evolve into a higher state of concouisness because everything just is? Wait. Concouisness means “A state of knowingness that encompasses all mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of ourselves. To be conscious is to have awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, own existence, sensations, and surroundings.”~Quoting personal Excellence. So when we are enlightened(highest counciousnesscon level) we understand ‘life is’. Enlightenment is the state of knowing everything just is. So, if I understand it now, anyone can. And anyone can integrate it and practice it.
But, what does it mean to practice ‘I am’? And if everyone was enlightened wouldn’t the world cease to exist because there’d be no balance? Maybe, at the end of that spectrum is something bigger, the next step to human evolution. But, is it possible? Is an enlightened world possible and what would happen if everyone just knew and practiced ‘Life is’. Wouldn’t we trandecend space and time in our present lives? Wouldn’t the world become a better place in the sense that we’d live enlightened together? Wouldn’t that mean that after peace, there’s enlightenment and that is the highest state we can possibly live in?
My question now has become different because now I understand that ‘life is’, ‘we are’, ‘I am’, therefore ‘everything is’. My question now is, should I serve others get near to an enlightened self so they may achieve it by themselves? Or should I let it be? My mind says letting it be means that everything will just be and that may not lead to evolution into enlightenment…. It says I must do something in respect to it and that, as far as the human experience concerns, is the purpose of life. To serve others and oneself in the manner that will lead us to live in congruency with life which is. So when we live in alignment with ‘I am’ and ‘we are’, then we can live in alignment with ‘life is’ and therefore be aligned for the better of the human experience. I feel resistance in me, but I also feel a sense of greater knowledge being understood. And I know my resistance is just the beginning of this journey into an enlightened life where I can align and serve others to align with life. That means that this resistance is a positive sign, because my body has just experienced a significant change and I will keep feeding it this change. It’s too late to go back, because life certainly is and that’s why it is pulling me towards change and I will follow the higher change.
Now that my journey into an enlightened present to create an enlightened future has begun, my question lies in how am I going to make this happen and last?
I agree totally with Kevin
I agree with this article and I think it’s written beautifully and clearly <3 But it doesn't answer the burning question I've had for my entire life. If I am nothing and everything then why am I in this experience caught up with all these emotions, thoughts, physical sensations, circumstances, body and ego? I am thankful for the experience but what is the point of it? Does 'purpose' exist or is purpose something we think exists? I know that 'I am' but to what end? What is the meaning behind the big picture?
In my opinion, it is to remember how good the One is. Life is about experiencing suffering to know that we are actually in peace. Another way to say it is, to be reminded of what “heaven” truly “feels” like. Anytime we can be the One. Through sleep, meditation, psychedelics, prayer, exercising, deep conversations, making love, etc., but we create the suffering to remember how good the One is.
I have nothing but one simple question for you the answer you will need to find for yourself.
Why should there be a purpose?
Let that sink in and think about it. I personally am still thinking about it.