Self-realization is one of those phrases that we hear on the spiritual path that goes in one ear and out the other. We don’t give it much thought, yet it’s at the very heart of EVERYTHING.
Without seeing Self-Realization as the ultimate goal of the spiritual journey, our paths are vague, blurry, and disjointed.
We don’t really know why we’re doing what we’re doing. And if we do have some fabricated reason, we never feel truly satisfied: everything we obtain, all the spiritual brownie points we collect, feel empty and ultimately disappointing.
In fact, when we lose sight of the importance of Self-Realization, our spiritual paths are nothing but one distraction after another.
We become spiritual consumers, dabbling here and there in attractive spiritual “products,” without ever really diving deep.
I call this Rabbit Hole Spirituality: like Alice in Wonderland, we’re constantly falling into endless rabbit holes of new trends, exciting practices, and sparkly feel-good philosophies.
But the reality is that we’re lost in the superficial, and eventually, something new will come along and catch our eye, and off into another Rabbit Hole we’ll fall.
Thankfully, there are paths out there that are aligned with a deeper form of spirituality – and all of them lead to Self-Realization.
If you’re not quite sure what the hell Self-Realization is, or how to experience it, stick around.
What is Self-Realization?
There are two definitions of Self-Realization: one is secular, the other is spiritual.
According to various Western psychological and philosophical traditions, self-realization is the fulfillment of our personal potential in life. Essentially, it’s being all that we can be in an unlimited, expansive sense. However, according to Eastern spirituality, Self-Realization is the knowledge and embodiment of our True Nature or the Higher Self beyond the ego.
Here we have two strangely conflicting definitions from the East and West.
Which definition is correct?
Actually neither definition is right or wrong: both are equally relevant as they uphold each other. I’ll explain why next.
The 3 Shamanic Realms of Self-Realization
Self-Realization is not so much one big lights-and-glamor moment as it is a slow and steady process. This process occurs within the three realms of existence:
- The Middle World
- The Lower World
- The Upper World
Using shamanic terminology, the middle world is the realm where we live everyday life. This is the realm where we go about our daily existence with family, friends, and work colleagues.
The lower world is the downwards and inwards realm where everything hiding beneath the surface dwells. This is the realm of thoughts, feelings, instincts, dreams, unconscious wounds, and at a core level, the soul.
The upper world is the upwards and outwards realm where we transcend the body, mind, and soul and enter the immaterial, eternal Spirit that permeates all layers of existence.
Each realm has a purpose …
Within each realm there is a task for us to fulfill:
- In the middle world, the task is ego growth
- In the lower world, the task is soul embodiment
- In the upper world, the task is spirit realization (also known as Self-Realization)
As depth psychologist Bill Plotkin writes,
Ego growth, soul embodiment, and spirit realization are equally vital to growing whole. Although all three components can be engaged concurrently, there is a natural sequence to their unfolding: ego growth is the foundation upon which soul embodiment rests, and the latter, I believe, most effectively galvanizes spirit realization.
Here we see that all three realms build on top of, and support, one another – the ultimate goal being Self-Realization.
The difference between self-realization and Self-Realization …
So here we see there are actually two types of Self-Realization.
The West promotes the realization of the self’s (ego’s) fullest potential. This process occurs within the middle and under world realm. And some Western schools of psychology, such as those that adhere to Carl Jung’s philosophies, promote soul realization (also known as the individuation process).
And the East promotes the realization of the Self – that is, liberation from the small fabricated self (ego), and the embodiment of one’s Higher Self or True Nature. This is an upper world path, a path that transcends the personal ego and soul, and unites us with the Absolute, Unchanging, and Eternal Spirit. This is the path of enlightenment.
Most Western and Eastern schools of thought ignore or deny the importance of all three paths working together in unison. But they are all essential paths to embrace so that we can experience true Self-Realization – just as a tree needs roots, a trunk, and branches to be whole.
The 9 Stages of Spiritual Self-Realization
And should you choose to devote yourself to the ongoing journey of self-realization, you will develop a tremendous sense of respect for who you really are. It is only then that you will come to appreciate the full depth of meaning in the advice: “This above all: to thine own self be true.”
– Michael A. Singer
As I mentioned previously, Self-Realization is not so much one great big moment as it is a gradual process of unfolding.
(However, it must be noted here that for some rare individuals, Self-Realization does come as one big moment. But for the vast majority of us, it’s a slow and steady process.)
Below you’ll find the nine stages of spiritual Self-Realization: from the beginning of the journey, all the way to the end. Please note that Self-Realization is not necessarily (and often isn’t) a linear process. We often experience a spiral of unfolding and transformation, and it’s common to move forward and backward:
1. Self-Awareness
At the beginning of the journey is the dawning of self-awareness. This may occur sporadically as a result of temporary moments of introspection or as an entire spiritual awakening. Self-awareness is when we become aware of ourselves (from an ego-based standpoint) and how we interact with the world.
Those who are self-aware move away from their previous psychological ignorance (also commonly referred to as “being asleep”) and into greater self-consciousness. This can be a painful period as we take an honest look at our thoughts, habits, choices, and ways of relating to the world. Often we don’t like what we see. Thus, we either numb ourselves out of denial or enter the path of self-growth (also known as the spiritual path).
2. Self-Exploration
After the shock of awakening to more self-awareness, we’re driven by the desire to explore ourselves more – this is the journey of self-exploration.
Self-exploration is fuelled by a mixture of curiosity (“who am I really?”) and dissatisfaction (“I can’t believe I did/said/believed that!”). We want to find out more about personalities and understand our authentic place in life.
Self-exploration often occurs in the middle world (the realm of everyday life) and the purpose of it is to uncover how we think, feel, and behave. To get answers, we seek to gain knowledge and understanding of ourselves through books, workshops, films, personality tests, and other psychological and spiritual practices.
3. Self-Discovery
Once we start dabbling in the world of self-exploration, we eventually experience self-discovery, which is what happens when we dig deep underneath the surface of ourselves.
Self-discovery occurs when we move from the “what?” to the “WHY?” While the previous stage (self-exploration) deals with what we like/feel/do/think, self-discovery deals with why we like/feel/do/think everything that emerges inside of us.
In this stage, it’s common to begin various forms of inner work that get to the root of our core selves.
4. Self-Understanding
Self-understanding is a crystallization of the previous three stages: it’s a deep understanding of the dynamics and workings of our ego selves.
People who have reached this stage have a thorough and multi-layered understanding of the origins and reasons why they think, feel, and behave the way they do. Not only have they explored their conscious ego, but they’ve also explored their unconscious mind to meet their shadow selves and other buried core wounds.
Self-Understanding is a lower world path that goes downwards and inwards, touching and revealing the very nature of our souls.
5. Self-Love
Next is self-love: the stage where we are filled with compassion for ourselves and all that we’ve been through.
As a lower world path, self-love is what happens when we tap into the fundamental nature of our heart and soul: love. When we love ourselves, we are fuelled by a deep understanding of ourselves. In fact, without the previous stage (self-understanding) it’s almost impossible to practice self-love because we don’t know what or why we do, think, and feel what we do.
Learning how to love ourselves means that we stop punishing ourselves, start nurturing ourselves, and start experiencing greater self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-forgiveness.
6. Self-Transformation
In this stage, we begin to shed our old and limiting habits, perceptions, and compulsions that were created by the false self (ego) and transform into the most authentic version of ourselves possible.
When we experience self-transformation, we enter a death and rebirth process that can feel uncomfortable and destabilizing at first. But ultimately, any change we undergo is liberating. In other words, we become more soul-centered instead of ego-centered, and we’re more comfortable in our skin.
Thanks to the previous five stages, we’re able to make space for new growth to occur. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, we feel more expanded, free, and grounded.
7. Self-Mastery
As a culmination of stages 1-6, this stage is about reaping the rewards of a stable and well-adjusted ego. Psychologist Carl Jung referred to this stage as individuation, that is, becoming a whole human being who is connected and aligned with the soul.
Self-mastery is just that, mastering the false self (or ego) – but not with tyranny or a domineering stance. Instead, mastering the false self is done with love and understanding.
Instead of being slaves to our egos, we live from the heart and soul, and our egos are yielding and in service to our souls.
When we experience self-mastery, our inner and outer worlds are balanced, and we become the Kings or Queens of our own middle worlds (everyday life) and lower worlds (inner life). We are self-contained, calm, perceptive, wise, compassionate, and lighthearted.
8. Self-Transcendence
Next is self-transcendence which is where we start entering the world of Spirit (or the upper world).
When we walk the path of self-transcendence, we are seeking to move beyond our limited egos and attachment to our souls, and become One with the Divine.
The desire to self-transcend may come naturally throughout time (as a result of diligently walking the spiritual path), through sudden mystical experiences, profound transpersonal insights, or a deep inner calling to taste ultimate freedom.
Common self-transcendence paths and practices out there include meditation, yogic disciplines, mystical and higher consciousness traditions (Sufism, Gnosticism, Taoism, Buddhism, etc.), self-inquiry, non-dual teachings, contemplation, and so forth.
9. Self-Realization
At last, we come to Self-Realization. What can be said other than the fact that Self-Realization can be sought and worked for, but ultimately, it is a gift from Life itself.
Self-Realization occurs when we stop identifying with the limited ego and attaching to the soul, and instead recognize ourselves as one and the same as the Divine. Moving past a sense of “me,” “mine,” and “I am ___,” (aka. the inner stories fabricated by our illusory selves) we come to embody what is referred to as Christ Consciousness, Enlightenment, Buddhahood, Non-Dual Awareness, and Oneness.
Other names for this sacred experience are nirvana, heaven, moksha, unio mystica (spiritual alchemy), samadhi, cosmic consciousness, and so on.
When we experience Self-Realization, we have seen through the insubstantiality and impermanence of the ego (this can be experienced through meditation), the dreamlike nature of thought, and the illusion of attachment to all phenomena, and into the vast, spacious, and eternal presence that exists everywhere.
In this stage, we are free from suffering, free from fear, and free from all separation. What remains is a pure radiance of being, a total union with Life, an experience of endless love, connection, understanding, and openness to existence.
How to Experience a Taste of Self-Realization
Self-realization is a journey that could take you a few years, decades, or most commonly, an entire lifetime (or longer). But it is a sacred and worthy path that is worth every bit of your time, effort, sincerity, and dedication. Ultimately, it is the path of enlightenment, the path of freedom, and the path of love. What could be better than that?
Now that we’ve explored what self-realization is, and the nine stages, how can we taste – even just briefly – this experience? (I’m sure you’re curious!)
Here are some methods and practices that will likely help you dip into this life-changing experience (although nothing is ever guaranteed):
- Long stretches of meditation (45 minutes or more per day) – keep in mind that it’s important to work up to this goal, especially if you’re a beginner
- Plant medicine journeying (with ayahuasca, peyote, mescaline, psilocybin mushrooms, marijuana, etc.) – if you have a mental illness, I recommend talking to a professional therapist beforehand, otherwise, this is an amazing path that must be approached with clear conscious intention and respect
- Entering altered states of consciousness (such as through a trance state, lucid dreaming, breathwork, self-hypnosis) – remember to be gentle with yourself and go slowly
- Nature immersion – try spending long periods of time in nature (1+ hours), particularly in wild and untamed areas that aren’t visited by people
If you can you recommend any other practices, share below and help inspire others!
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I hope you now have a deeper understanding of Self-Realization. Remember that we often move forward and backward on the path: it’s not linear. Instead, it’s a process that ebbs and flows, waxes and wanes, and moves in a spiral pattern.
Tell me, what stage are you at on the journey toward self-realization? I’d love to hear about your experiences.
My journey feels like a spiral. I feel like I have been through all the stages many times. I reach what I think is 9, then realise there is another layer of self to discover! I feel quite high on the spiral now, but finding your website has triggered a vision of another layer where I will start again.
I hope this makes sense. Hopefully will get to the bottom of things eventually and be at peace with myself.
Stage 9, I been aware since I was 7yrs old. It comes naturally. So grateful to read this article. Nature emmersed and lucid dreams. Mentoring people has been my journey.
Hello im a Self- Realized master from Denmark im so gratefull but everybody i know is not, i just read your page and step 9 it is, wonderfull so 1 Buddha in dk
Br meggelji❤️ Amazing i used 6 month i would like to help others to be absolutely free…
Always allready free
I’m at Stage 3, but I’ve had “glimpses” of further stages, as the article states one might have, as this processs is not necessarily linear. For example, I’ve already become more understanding, loving and forgiving to myself. It’s been a wonderful journey so far and I welcome whatever comes next
I have a question… Often I feel like a broken record of negative situations surrounding me, that I am (unfairly) held responsible for things outside of my own control, and that nothing I do is worth sharing with others because most progress was made through personal experiences or shut down upon the attempt to share it… but I know my journey also contains a lot of teachable moments that could save others massive hardships… I would like to know if it has been a self-sabotaging reaction to think that other people understand how implementing the related content has altered my perception of myself and that the differences seem at the forefront to me, even if they fail to notice any of that?
In the last 5 years: My dad had a heart attack, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and passed away, my husband was diagnosed with diabetes, we were evicted from our living space, death threats were made by my siblings, 8 new children were born into my immediate family (Nieces & nephews), I’ve changed jobs twice (holding one for 10+ years prior)… etc… etc…
So, like I said a constant whirlwind of negativity seems to follow me around and more-so lately, I feel like expressing anything will allow for it to be used against me and that by not expressing it, I am likely to isolate myself from those closest to me. (my husband and I almost divorced after 13 years because our communication has been lacking substance, we can’t seem to avoid arguing over stupid things)… If you have any advice or input, I’d really appreciate your opinions.
This is one of the most beautiful explanations of spiritual awakening that I have seen. Thank you for this article. I am young but well on my way on the spiritual path, completely changing my habits and approach to life. I am not in the stability stage yet but see myself there by the end of the summer. Another article I found helpful was “The Present” by Global Truth Project that introduced me to these ideas. It has a lot of bold corollaries and claims and I would love to know your thoughts on it if you have read it!
i am very conflicted i am just now getting into spirituality. Does this process mean that our material likes are invalid ?? such as music ,food, fashion, are we just to give those up ? did we ever truly enjoy those things ? furthermore are things i enjoy doing both for myself and career, just also invalid now?Am i supposed to give up my personality / ego ?? i would appreciate any help
Thank you Isael for the question. There’s nothing wrong with having tastes and interests, even material goals. The problem is when we start thinking they will bring us fulfillment and happiness, which when you look back on previous interests/goals, you realize they just provide a temporary relief, a distraction from searching for deeper truth.
By all means enjoy those things, just be aware not to grow attached to them as they have a way of seducing us away from what really is worthwhile.
ah i see and understand how my material goals/interests and tastes aren’t bad if i don’t depend on them for fulfillment and happiness. does this differ however from passions ? for example when i am creating anything artistically/ designing it bring me a great sense of joy, peace and feeling rightness it just feels so natural and organic. are these connected more to the ego or to our soul/true selves ?
Passions follow a similar path as desires. Truly embodying our passion, our artistic experience, is a spiritual act in itself. It’s being in the flow of the moment, fully immersed in the present experience. The issues arise when there’s attachments to the outcomes of the art. Do we do art for arts sake, or do we do it for some type of reward outside of the experience of creating? That’s the distinction, one is of the heart, the other is of the mind.
Hi I’m just “newly” realized and hadn’t realized at the time what I was trying to achieve until I “popped”, ascended so to speak so I’m just starting to find out what self realization means and is so any help you can provide or useful sites you can show me link for would be greatly appreciated
Hey Roy,
Thank you for sharing. I have the feeling based on the way you’ve described it, that it’s more in tune with a ‘mystical experience‘ than self-relization. Feel free to check out that article, as these shifts aren’t permanent in nature.
I remember the first time I felt the oneness. I was 15 or 16 and downtown, there was a group of people yelling with Bible themed hate signs. Overwhelmed by how fake it all was, knowing better. I attempted to yell the truth. Jumping up on the other corner. I yelled a bit “God loves you for who you are” I was truly amused at this point. Despite this group not 50 ft away condemning me to hell. And as I walked away not out of defeat bit out of knowing better. As I walked I thought jokingly to myself. “Watch me be a prophet” And then it hit me, a vibration so strong, I stopped midstep. Then a voice asked again “Am I?” The feeling strengthened, it felt like …. Fullness, completion, warmth and laughter. Safe yet on fire. And then I knew the truth, I’m just one cog in our grand machinery.
Your writtings are lovely and have some wonderful hints and tips for the spiritual aspirant! You are doing good work reaching out to those who need it. My Guru pointed me towards scriptures called Yoga Vasistha by (param Guru) swami Jyotirmayananda Saraswati. It is a series of scriptures that discusses detachment and other practises shared in there. This is and belongs to the progressive path of self realisation that you speak of, within sanatan dharma. Otherwise a couple of sayings I enjoy. ” give your problems to god for he has a mighty ship” and “life will take care of life” it has a funny way of doing that.
When we come to the knowing of this we find a quieter mind, then the only job we have is to remain quiet.. out of time.. where there really is no bondage or liberation as we are always that, pure consciousness, aware of even being aware…
Much luck and Love on your journey. Blessings to you both and all.
Om tat sat
Vidya Devi
Kriya yoga is one path to Self-Realization. I’m a member of Self-Realization Fellowship (SRF). Most people say they took up their kriya yoga after reading Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda. A person will know if this is their path after reading that one book. It’s a spiritual practice that has made my life to happy and fulfilling!
Yet in knowing and still lacking love and support, how is this still possible?