Losing your twin flame is one of the hardest things you will ever experience.
Whether through death, circumstance or the inability to coexist together, twin flame separation is a nightmare.
The absence you feel is profoundly incapacitating.
The loss you struggle with is like black quicksand.
Your crushed hopes and dreams cling to you like shrapnel.
You walk through life feeling numb, empty, lost.
There is nothing in life that can quite compare to the deep and intense grief of losing your beloved.
How to Recover From Twin Flame Separation
Grief is an important part of the healing process. My intention isn’t to wave a magical wand and make your pain go away. Instead, my intention is to help expand your perspective and facilitate your recovery.
You are a strong, worthy and spiritual being. You deserve to pick up the pieces, heal and move on with your life. Open your heart and take in these words for a moment. When we experience immense loss it can be hard to remember these truths.
Before you read this list, I want you to know that although it felt as though your twin flame was your universe, you are capable of finding wholeness by yourself.
Recovering from twin flame separation can take months, often years, and sometimes decades. For this reason, always be gentle and patient with yourself:
1. Understand why the separation occurred.
Often in order to find peace of mind, we need to understand why something in our lives occurred. If your separation was deliberate, you might like to explore the underlying reasons and causes. In understanding why, you’ll be able to learn important lessons about yourself that will help you to mature as a person.
I strongly encourage you to read my last article, “Twin Flame Separation – Why It Happens and Why It Haunts Us” if you would like some help with doing this.
2. Realize that twin flame separation makes you stronger.
At first this almost sounds like a sick joke. Stronger? How could that possibly be true?
While losing your beloved temporarily causes immense sadness and distress, in the long term it can forge you into the person you were meant to become. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, twin flame separation burns you so fiercely that you feel like useless, futile ash. But after a time, if you allow it to, this process of burning can give birth to strength, fortitude and courage.
3. Allow yourself to mourn through self-expression.
Intense emotions are scary. For this reason, most of us tend to hide, suppress or distract ourselves from honoring them. If you’re experiencing extremely uncomfortable emotions such as depression, anger and grief, slow down. Make space in your life to mourn. This isn’t about self-pity, it’s about actively experiencing your emotions.
One of the best ways to actively experience emotions is through self-expression such as journalling, painting, playing an instrument, dancing, running, hiking, gardening, etc. Find what feels good, and go to that place. Don’t remain static. Get moving. This is a powerful way to heal.
4. You are not your pain.
When we are in a great amount of suffering it’s very easy for us to get strung up in victim roles. Melancholy is comfortable when it protects us from vulnerability. But remember this: pain is a passing sensation. It may be a very persistent emotion, but you are not your pain. You are so much more than your suffering.
Making friends with pain, opening to it, and allowing it to teach you, shows you that pain is transient. Pain reveals to you the parts within yourself that haven’t healed yet. Pain strips away the pretense and illusions and reveals to you the truth of what is there: your wounds, your insecurities, your beliefs, your attachments.
Pain shows you that you have loved deeply and fully. It reveals to you your own beauty, your own tender heart. Finally, when pain is fully accepted in the moment, it reveals a deeper truth: that you are limitless. You are not bound by any identity or story of pain.
Pain is only a passing cloud on the sky that is You.
5. Our twin flames are not responsible for our happiness.
Twin flames facilitate our growth in a powerful way, but they are not required for us to be happy. Wholeness and fulfillment can be achieved without the presence of our twin flames. Unfortunately a common myth about twin flames is that we somehow need them to be complete. This is false.
6. Integration.
Integration is about taking your discoveries and actively applying them to your life. When you whole-heartedly surrender without resistance to what life is presenting to you now, suffering ceases. Of course, this is easier in theory than it actually is in real life. So be kind towards yourself. Go at your own pace. This takes time. And most importantly: be open to letting go of anything that no longer serves you.
One Last Thing …
Unconditionally loving yourself including all of your flaws, mistakes and shadow parts is vital for healing. Often the main reason why we experience heartbreak in the first place is because of our own self-loathing and lack of self-understanding.
Finally, be open to the reality that life is a mystery. You don’t know what the future holds. You never know who may appear or re-appear in your life. Take comfort in this.
Have you separated from your twin flame? What was it like for you, and how did you manage to cope?
Damn.. we broke up (due to priorities) and then met each other after 2 weeks… that kiss was absolutely heavenly… baby it felt like eternity, we captured time… it was like we were telling to each other “I can’t even breathe without having you”.. when I felt your heart beating against my chest God I swear I couldn’t believe it… I miss you, I think I will never move on without thinking of you… I miss the happiness I felt when I was with you baby… it was only me and you honey… why does it have to be so hard? I hate that time moves forward and these moments belong to the past… Lord, please…. make sure he is doing well, even though he is now away from me… I do love him, I will always do… unconditionally… S.V. – “Trust the universe, what is meant to be will be… at the right moment when you are ready”
Mark, if you don’t want to hear from that person ever again, it’s easy to solve. Just block all the communication avenues. But It would be better to communicate your wishes to that person and see how they react first. Many our issues arise from the lack of communication, assumptions. And wishing for someone to behave the way you want them to behave is leading to dead end: you can’t control anyone but yourself. I was the one contacting my TF without any response. Everything fades away eventually. I let the situation go trusting the divine. I am happy I did. Instead of resisting and and suffering. If you want to see the change – change yourself, forget about trying to change someone else. You will notice the difference.
I met a woman who has consumed me completely. A happily married woman with children. Marriage and motherhood suits her. I realized too late that I was falling in love with her. She occupies my thoughts all day everyday. Even invades my dreams sometimes. I miss her so much it hurts. The weird thing is that I don’t really want to be with her but some part of me wants her. I can’t shake that hidden part of me that is at the heart of my being.
I want her to forget me. I want her to stop texting me. I want her to leave me alone. I have too many years to live to keep missing and wanting her the way I do. If she would just forget me and never communicate with me again maybe I could find a slither of happiness or contentment in this life. Instead of missing a married woman. The worst part is not understanding or rationalizing missing a woman you barely know this much. Why she occupies your existence completely without trying. Can’t we just agree to go our separate ways in this life and be content? Why does it have to hurt so much?
Well Mark, as I see as independent person that you are confused about your own feelings. Whether you are consumed by her or don’t want to have nothing to do with her. And happily married person would not contact you ever. It’s just my opinion.
I normally do not comment on any type of forum. This hits home with me and I plan on using the steps about mourning twin flame separation to heal. I am in a dark place I can’t seem to get out of. That’s how I stumbled across this page.
The absolute love of my life (me in male form) passed away a little over 3 months ago. His death was sudden and unexpected. Our history was deep and our relationship intense in every manner. I met this man when we were 12 years old from that moment he was like a magnet for my spirit. Years later at 16 we began to date for a short period he was my first love and told me many times I was his. I knew I did not want to be with anyone else at that young age understandably he wanted to experience life. I was devastated eventually I set my feelings aside. All I wanted was for him to be happy. I did not see him again until 11 years later!! When we did see each other those feelings had never left. Its like time stopped. I would see him around here n there and eventually we began to date again. Our love was indescribable. I am grateful we both got to feel intense feelings of love, understanding and the most indescribable joy either one of us have ever felt. We discussed our feelings regular at times we would both be in tears from happiness. I was able to spend the last two years of his life with him and it was absolutely beautiful. The most purest form of love in my opinion. I just can’t shake the feeling of being incomplete and that our time together was cut short we had plans to grow old together. I can feel him with me, its like my heart is closed off though from pain. I hope if I use use these tools I will begin to feel better and heal. I feel as though a piece of my spirit died with him. I love him then, now, and always!!
I met my twin flame working abroad and when I moved back home he moved in with me. I never fell in love so hard or so fast or felt like a divine connection with someone. I felt our souls intertwine and he was my home, my everything. Even after just a couple of months. It moved incredibly rapidly and it wasn’t long before the cracks began to show. Whilst we brought out the very best in each other, we also brought out our very worst and showed each other our darkest sides. Although this negativity really brought me down, I was willing to live with it except one day we had a very heated argument and I told him to leave. We both felt like it wasn’t going to be forever (he had left before after an argument but came back) though every attempt we made to contact each other was ugly and fiery as we were both so defensive from the hurt we’d caused each other. It’s been a few months since we saw each other but I can’t sleep at night without him, clung onto the connection we had. Sometimes feelings creep up on me and I know they’re his feelings. I am lost, empty, I feel as if I no longer have purpose. When we were together it’s as if we locked the whole world out and it was just us that existed, in our bubble. The emotions I felt with him reduced me to tears (and still now) because They just overwhelmed me so so much. I feel as if I’ll spend the rest of my life searching for the same deep and dizzying connection with someone, afraid I’ll never find it.
Disappointed I found and lost my twin flame in my twenties as I have potentially a very long time ahead of the unwaning yearning for him… I have tried to let go so many times, I have tried to hate him but it lasts maybe for a day. He’s not only in my head all the time but I FEEL him. That’s what we used to say to each other, ‘I feel you.’ It had so much more depth and sincerity than ‘I love you’.
I still love and feel you every day my bright soul ~*
I met my twin on July 22, 2009. The date works out to 11:11. I’m a life path 6 and he is a 5. Together we are an 11. The first time we kissed, our feet left the ground. Literally. He lived in NYC and I in Toronto. He left me and went home. A few months later he called me as he was walking down the street in NYC. I said to him “I think you’re my twin”. He replied “What? Say that again?” I repeated myself. He said to me “You won’t believe what I’m standing on.” Someone has written in the sidewalk when the cement was wet, the word TWIN. He took a photo and sent it to me.
Basically The angels confirmed it. It’s been 9 years. I left my marriage. I waited for him. He ended up having 3 children during my 6 years of knowing him. He hid it from me. I found out in 2015 and we ended. I met another man whom I am engaged to. I can’t explain the burning pain in my soul. The love I felt with my twin can never be replaced. I cry often. The pain is so intense. He will never leave his marriage for the sake of his children and I understand that. I also have two teenage kids as well. But I left. He couldn’t. His children were much younger. Tears roll down my face as I write this. There were so many confirmations from the heavens that our union was sacred. Our love really was divine. I live in sadness most of the time. I pretend to be full. I am not. I have surrendered. Nothing else I can do.
My twin flame and I met a year ago, and it has been the most intense, insane experience ever. Right from the start everyone warned him no good could come of if, as I’m married with kids, but we tried to stay away and just be friends….and then the dream happened. We had exactly the same dream, but from our own perspectives. Then followed the feelings. We could feel when the other was in pain. Or when we needed each other….but still we fought it, because it couldn’t be.
He couldn’t ask me to leave, and I knew I still needed to grow. So he walked away. He told me he loved me, then said never call me again and have a good life. I knew it was an unfair situation, too soon or too late….but my heart is still breaking every day.
Mine died suddenly on the the 9 month anniversary of meeting. Worst.pain.ever. Still suffering immensely. Tomorrow is 90 days without him. My purpose. My blood. I don’t want to stay here.
I completely understand what your going through. Not wanting to be here. My twin passed a little over 3 months ago on October 23. My heart goes out to you. This is the worst possible pain I have ever experienced
Agony. I feel all of your pain. I met my twin flame back in August of this year…on a dating app no less. When we met in person the first time I had this strange calm feeling around him. He told me he was in the middle of a divorce and had two small children…and it didn’t bother me. Truth be told I was always against dating any man with kids or was divorced so the fact that this didn’t even phase me at all was telling. We had a great time. When we got together on our second date, things got intense. The more we talked, the more we realized how much we had in common. It was like I was him, and he was me. We spoke about the book The Secret, which I fully believe in, he asked me if I secreted him lol I said I probably did! (I did, I totally did!) It felt like the Universe had brought us together, the feeling was unexplainable, the connection was unexplainable, there were no words to describe how we felt. At the end of the date he asked to see me again the next day, I didn’t even hesitate, I wanted to see him again, I never wanted the date to end! The next night was magical. We went for pizza, walked around and then ended up in Central Park in NYC. We sat on a giant rock and talked all night. He was sweet and endearing. He listened when I spoke, we got lost in each other’s eyes…he called me his unicorn and said how grateful he was to have found me. I told him more about my life in that night that I told anyone before. I told him things I didn’t even share with my best friends, or my family. It was crazy. I felt the walls I had built for years and years just crumble around this man. I was walking on a cloud. It was sheer magic. The next two dates we met for lunch, it was his birthday and I gave him a cute card that I doodle cuteness all over lol I also baked him cookies. The date after that he seemed different. It was like he was pulling away, but I didn’t understand why. We had a nice night but he was quieter, and hard to read. Our final date he spent the night with me. I never wanted that night to end. But then he went on a solo vacation to Japan, and when he got back he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship. That he needed to figure out his life, he was overwhelmed. He said he needed to get a new house, figure out his living situation with his kids, and he wanted to get a new job because he was so unhappy in his current job, those were his focus. He said he truly wanted to be friends with me, if I would allow it. Truth be told, I flipped out lol I mean I was devastated. First he said this to me in a text message that he sent me at 8:50am on a Monday morning…as I was walking into work. I couldn’t process my emotions, I couldn’t process my pain, I was in over my head with grief. My heart was broken. I shouldn’t have responded until I slept on it…but I did respond, a few hours later. I told him I couldn’t stay friends with him because it was too hard, I told him all I ever wanted was his happiness, and then went on a lengthy positive speech about how life will never be easy and he needs to focus on the positives instead of the negatives, and believe in himself and his dreams again, that change was inevitable but it would lead him on a path to finding himself, I talked about choices and how there are no right and wrong choices, I mean I just went on and on and on lol Of course he didn’t respond and the next day when I woke up I was like NOOOOOOOOOO what’d I do???? I tried to text him again and apologize for being too emotional, and said I did want to be friends…but it was too late. He was hurt. He didn’t respond to me for a month before I reached out to him again. I told him I missed him and cared about him and that it was silly for us not to talk. He responded and said I overwhelmed him and he ‘simply couldn’t handle it.’ He also said that we could stay friends but I needed to be ‘respectful of his space and boundaries,’ whatever that means. It was sheer torture. I asked him what it was I did that overwhelmed him and he said ‘There were a lot of little things…but that last message was like an emotional hammer to the chest.” Ouch. I didn’t know how to respond to that so I suggested we go for coffee, that that would be nice. He never responded. That was 3 weeks ago…torture. T O R T U R E. I can only chalk it up to the fact that he didn’t understand our connection anymore than I did at the time and he was overwhelmed by all his emotions, and the current state of his life. I get it, but I hate that he’s not talking to me. I want to fix it. I didn’t mean to upset him, I was trying to be positive and encourage him, but I screwed it all up. Lesson learned. Now we’re in the runner/chaser phase and it SUCKS!!! I have never in my life felt so much emotionally heartbreak over someone I knew for such a short period of time. Truth is when we met it didn’t feel like I was getting to know him, it felt like we were catching up, he was home to me. And as crazy as this will sound I’m in love with him. I can’t let him go, I was a better person with him in my life, and vice versa. I think our souls go good together and we’re meant to be together. I only recently discovered the ‘twin flame’ universe…and it makes complete sense. Everything I feel is exactly as it’s described. It’s unbelieveable to me. I want to scream from the rooftops and tell him YOU’RE MY TWIN FLAME…but I don’t think he’s figured that out yet, and I would only ever tell him that in person. The problem is getting him to meet me in person….or speak to me again for that matter. I know he needs to time and space…but I’m scared. Scared that he’ll forget me, or move on, scared that I’ll lose him forever. What was the point in meeting this man so perfect for me that he had to be taken away from me???? It’s not fair. Even if we are ‘just friends’ I need to understand what we can do together before I’m willing to give him up. I can’t go years without seeing him, I don’t even want to go another week without talking to him. I wish I could understand the runner…but it’s hard…my heart is broken :(
I’m learning surrender is all that gives me peace. I tried to chase for forever but that was a freaking nightmare. I then tried to run away when he would piss me off but that was a nightmare too bc I get excited about other guys and god wipes them away like NOPE. Lol. Wtf. Idk anymore. I’m just going to be present, live my life, focus on me, not look for anyone actively. And anyone who comes into my life naturally is meant to. Surrender is the answer to the vicious cycle of pain. Not chasing them not running. Just doing nothing and trusting God’s plan with no idea what it will be. That’s what I’ve decided. It’s when I’m happiest too. I think the only twins who stay together long term can master surrender. It’s a state of being and when you get into control your twin runs away. That’s where people get tripped up. This is a union, not a relationship. It’s different. It leans on God’s plan not ours. This partnership is free of attachment and expectations. It’s leaning on god alone. I’ll have to see what happens with my life. But I can’t struggle anymore. I need to let god take over whatever in the hell he wants with my life. I notice whenever I’m surrendered my twin has come before and stays until I try to control again. So there is some truth to that. I just don’t know. I want a normal life again. I wish I met a soulmate! This has been hell honestly. Your heart and mind go into constant battle 24-7.
Was anyone pulled to a date or lover during the eclipse this past August? I was.
I did, and I became so emotional this has never happened to me before.. I feel lost..
I did. There was certainly something in the air in August. The greatest love turned out to be the greatest pain unfortunately.
My wife died end of June somehow unexpected. I was completely destroyed, no wonder after living 43 years together. I was a guy who was not attracted to esoteric stuff but there have been strange things happening.
One deep look into the eyes of the other founded our relationship. It was as if we moved by looking into the eyes to another dimension. Very strange, even for a 17 year old girl and a 24 year old man. My girl was soon thrown out after our first meet by her mother, a woman who liked to drink too much. My parents took her for 6 weeks into our small apartment. Then we moved in our first rental appartment – and our real life begun.
We had a colorful and somehow exiting life. Chances over chances, living in capital cities and on the country side. CEO as a friend, diplomatic contacts but we did not arrange anything, it did just happen. Our bank account was NOT growing, but our love did. Even as my wife developed breast cancer the love grows even more. Then the cancer catches me too, in the form of prostate cancer. No we did not give up! Jointly we attended radiation and chemo therapy. My wife said ” This is a mercy as each of us does know how the other is feeling” Not neccessary as later we both developed some kind of telepathic sensing. We took this as normal, but it was not!
We both were taken to a large hospital. I was in critical condition because of the ‘nice’ combination of cancer, norovirus and pneumonia. But it was my wife who died unexpected! I did that what I could do even then – employ Google – nice search results but are they true? My wife herself did send me the answer 6 weeks after she moved into a different, lets say, dimensionality. We had two cars, one a small sports car and one a larger limosine. I had to sell the sports car and got a tax refund. We purchased the limosine for 11,111 and I’ve got a tax refund of 111 By the way, is not 11:11 a very special number?
I’ve found out too late that there is a whole world existing, mostly unknown. Thank you all!