Losing your twin flame is one of the hardest things you will ever experience.
Whether through death, circumstance or the inability to coexist together, twin flame separation is a nightmare.
The absence you feel is profoundly incapacitating.
The loss you struggle with is like black quicksand.
Your crushed hopes and dreams cling to you like shrapnel.
You walk through life feeling numb, empty, lost.
There is nothing in life that can quite compare to the deep and intense grief of losing your beloved.
How to Recover From Twin Flame Separation
Grief is an important part of the healing process. My intention isn’t to wave a magical wand and make your pain go away. Instead, my intention is to help expand your perspective and facilitate your recovery.
You are a strong, worthy and spiritual being. You deserve to pick up the pieces, heal and move on with your life. Open your heart and take in these words for a moment. When we experience immense loss it can be hard to remember these truths.
Before you read this list, I want you to know that although it felt as though your twin flame was your universe, you are capable of finding wholeness by yourself.
Recovering from twin flame separation can take months, often years, and sometimes decades. For this reason, always be gentle and patient with yourself:
1. Understand why the separation occurred
Often in order to find peace of mind, we need to understand why something in our lives occurred. If your separation was deliberate, you might like to explore the underlying reasons and causes. In understanding why, you’ll be able to learn important lessons about yourself that will help you to mature as a person.
I strongly encourage you to read my last article, “Twin Flame Separation – Why It Happens and Why It Haunts Us” if you would like some help with doing this.
2. Realize that twin flame separation makes you stronger
At first, this almost sounds like a sick joke. Stronger? How could that possibly be true?
While losing your beloved temporarily causes immense sadness and distress, in the long term it can forge you into the person you were meant to become. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, twin flame separation burns you so fiercely that you feel like useless, futile ash. But after a time, if you allow it to, this process of burning can give birth to strength, fortitude, and courage.
3. Allow yourself to mourn through self-expression
Intense emotions are scary. For this reason, most of us tend to hide, suppress or distract ourselves from honoring them. If you’re experiencing extremely uncomfortable emotions such as depression, anger and grief, slow down. Make space in your life to mourn. This isn’t about self-pity, it’s about actively experiencing your emotions.
One of the best ways to actively experience emotions is through self-expression such as journalling, painting, playing an instrument, dancing, running, hiking, gardening, etc. Find what feels good, and go to that place. Don’t remain static. Get moving. This is a powerful way to heal.
4. You are not your pain
When we are in a great amount of suffering it’s very easy for us to get strung up in victim roles. Melancholy is comfortable when it protects us from vulnerability. But remember this: pain is a passing sensation. It may be a very persistent emotion, but you are not your pain. You are so much more than your suffering.
Making friends with pain, opening to it, and allowing it to teach you, shows you that pain is transient. Pain reveals to you the parts within yourself that haven’t healed yet. Pain strips away the pretense and illusions and reveals to you the truth of what is there: your wounds, your insecurities, your beliefs, your attachments.
Pain shows you that you have loved deeply and fully. It reveals to you your own beauty, your own tender heart. Finally, when pain is fully accepted in the moment, it reveals a deeper truth: that you are limitless. You are not bound by any identity or story of pain.
Pain is only a passing cloud on the sky that is You.
5. Our twin flames are not responsible for our happiness
Twin flames facilitate our growth in a powerful way, but they are not required for us to be happy. Wholeness and fulfillment can be achieved without the presence of our twin flames. Unfortunately a common myth about twin flames is that we somehow need them to be complete. This is false.
6. Integration
Integration is about taking your discoveries and actively applying them to your life. When you whole-heartedly surrender without resistance to what life is presenting to you now, suffering ceases. Of course, this is easier in theory than it actually is in real life. So be kind towards yourself. Go at your own pace. This takes time. And most importantly: be open to letting go of anything that no longer serves you.
One Last Thing …
Unconditionally loving yourself including all of your flaws, mistakes and shadow parts is vital for healing. Often the main reason why we experience heartbreak in the first place is because of our own self-loathing and lack of self-understanding.
Finally, be open to the reality that life is a mystery. You don’t know what the future holds. You never know who may appear or re-appear in your life. Take comfort in this.
Have you separated from your twin flame? What was it like for you, and how did you manage to cope?
First saw him in a vision when I was 13. Met him when we were both 19. I think he was too young to know how to handle it; he couldn’t let me in… We were like best friends for a year, but never dated. He might have gone for hooking up and seeing where that led, but he had a girlfriend and I don’t compromise on my dignity. It was a clean (exquisitely painful) cut. We both knowingly married others… A few years back, I reached out to him and, two hours before he replied, I felt an inexplicable surge of joy. I think I was feeling his heart as he wrote his reply, which was the nicest thing he’s ever given to me. He’s always there, my last thought, my first thought. When I think of him now, I pray for him, which gives me some release. It’s been 17 years since we last saw one another and we’ve gently reverted back to the “clean cut” no-contact policy. We live on opposite sides of the world. I live on the continent where he grew up; he lives on the continent where I grew up. He lives where my calling may take me, even though it’s a place I have no desire to be a part of. In the meantime, the pain of separation has triggered profound growth in my life–I have dared to learn and grow at a phenomenally rapid pace, and with courage I wouldn’t have had without this grief, without this crackling of intense, burning love. First it was out of anger and desire to prove something to him. I’ve forgiven most of that now. I remember the way he used to look at him and it’s profoundly energizing for me. Now, it’s more the beauty of his existence, and all this creative energy that I have for him for which I have no outlet. I think God has big plans for this creative energy…I think He’s harnessing me to do something Big. I confess… I have not yet found the place where the pain of separation goes away. I keep myself overly productive because in quiet moments, the grief can still overwhelm me. I look happy on the outside, but he haunts me and I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone about it. Except the internet, apparently. At 4 am. Certainly not with my husband, who is a beautiful soul, and wonderful partner, and to whom I am 100% devoted. Still a bit confused there. I once tried to talk to him telepathically, and I got in this weird moment wherein I surprised myself by telling him, “We’ll see each other again.” I guess eventually we will, either this side or the next. …I’ll be glad when it’s over.
It will get better. Keep the faith in yourself.
Ive crossed paths with my TF for 18 years now. I was drawn to this beautiful stranger. A spark occurred, that turned into a fierce flame over time. I didnt realize what was going on. But now in my 30s, everytime we see each other. Its so intense. The vibration is pure euphoria, that you literally awaken people around you.. But its so confusing, loving someone so much and being afraid to tell him because its hard to grasp. Then all the purges have not been done. This time around after being intimate fully with each other was too much. It sparked a kundaluni awakening, that now we hate each other. It hurts so much. As im left reeling. This pain is worse than the divorce of my ex husband. Who I loved dearly. The fears coming to the surface are intense. Years of suppressed emotions. Ancestral stuff. Feeling like you belong nowhere, questioning what is my purpose? As I walk out in public and everyone around me is like robots. Sheep. Im so weak right now in body, mind and spirit. The pain is too much. Im haunted. This is my sweet surrender. Its time to heal me, and find my correct path. The world needs light. Not more darkness.
I lost my twin 3 years ago. It was the best time of my life when we got together. never have I experienced such a love like we had.. and I destroyed it .. Every bad thing that had ever been done to me , I did to him. and now he is with another woman . I have survived a lot of bad things in my life and this is by far the most painful , cruel thing to have to ever endure. I have no one to talk to about it either, people tell me get over it , move on , but I cannot.. I am a strong woman and this is tearing me apart.
Hi gilly again, writing here about my twin flame separation is therapeutic as I have no one else to share it with our relationship was secret as we are both in good marriages with childrrem and grandchildren … it’s like the wind got knocked outa me … We were closer than friends we were 1 we spoke for hours a day he made me laugh he stilled my tears ..he’s my knight in shining armor we are not angry at each other we still love each other but can’t be together … it’s very fresh so time will pass and hopefully ease the pain .. some days I think why. Did we have to meet ,as the gap and empty space that he filled is Like this huge dull ache … but truth is he made a huge impact on my life we lived near each other and run the same circles and that makes it harder .. it was the best 3 years of my life he’s sewn into my heart and my soul as crazy as it might sound I love him more than anyone that I have known or live with ..yes we r maintaining a civil relationship we r cordial … when we were together the whole world stopped I’d wake up with him and go to sleep with him even now I wake up and he’s the first thing that hits my mind ..he’s way older than I am and the attraction was not regular it’s like we were 1 big heart and now cut apart like I said I have a family and children and grandchildren so I put up s smile and move on but inside there’s this raw pain I smile on the outside because I’m a happy person by nature but he was and is a huge part of anything I am he brought out all my true colors everything I did was for him he gave me more than he even knows. Crazy part is he’s not hurting like I am .. maybe it’s a woman thing in the last 3 years my universe rotated around him how do I undo that how do u unluv. Is it even possible I am a successful upbeat woman luved and adored by many but his luv was all j needed whn I looked into his eyes I saw myself it was intense flame btween us somtimes id wish that everything I’m my life with disappear and there wud only be us because in reality we could not be toghet I love him and feel him forever he will and has made the most amazing impression on my life .. there are times of the day that tears come tk my eyes and I choke back trying to block out I know I will heal .. but the even after healing there will be a scar and j will never forget all the good he has brought out in me I will cherish the memories forever !!! Thnk god he’s alive I can’t imagine the world without him .. luv him forever!
Our situations almost identical. I’m glad i read your reply, I know I’m not crazy. When you meet a person who makes you feel at home, you can’t undo this feeling, or unlove. The hardest part is to know how deeply we love each other, but we can’t be together. Unconditional love, what gives me some peace is realization that I’m blessed by knowing this kind of love and by receiving it back. Circumstances are hard to accept, but if we meat to be, we will, well, to be real, we already are together, connected forever.