Let me start with the facts: I used to be really into the idea of twin flames.
In fact, I was so intrigued by the idea that not only did I write some of the most highly read articles on the internet about it, but I also created a 20,000+ member Facebook group on it, AND I co-wrote an entire book about it that accumulated over one hundred 4.5 star reviews on Amazon.
Someone the other week even commented that I was “you know, the twin flame authority on the internet,” for which I immediately cringed because that’s certainly not what I want to be known for (but Mindful Shadow Work or the Spiritual Awakening Process? Yes please).
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Having started my romantic relationship before the whole twin flame craze back on the 11th of November 2011 (yeah, I know, 11.11.11, one of many “twin flame numbers”), on some level, it once felt like destiny for me to write about twin flames. Love, after all, has been such a transformative catalyst for me that I wanted to share my journey with others.
But very rapidly, I started to realize that not only did I have no passion for continuing down the twin flame road, but the path actually nauseated me, and I began seeing more and more how the idea could be toxic and easily misused.
While I attempted to provide some kind of grounded and psychospiritual understanding of this twin flame concept in the book I authored, the message just didn’t get through. Instead, I would witness over and over again how such an idea could be used to justify narcissistic, codependent, and otherwise toxic relationships.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
You can’t build a stable foundation upon an idea propagated by the new age movement that is defined by push-and-pull psychodrama dynamics, so I’ve had to let it go – and all the many hours of work I’ve put into it through the years.
Needless to say, I’ve since taken this entirely off my plate, handed the twin flame Facebook group over to someone else, redirected all the articles on this website about twin flames, and unpublished the twin flames book.
As someone who takes pride in their work and wants it to be as helpful and healing as possible, this has been a big personal blow and a true lesson in humility for me.
In this totally rewritten and revamped article, I’m going to explain firstly what is a twin flame (as I once understood it) and why I feel like the twin flame idea can be more harmful than helpful. Buckle up.
Table of contents
- What is a Twin Flame?
- 21 Twin Flame Signs
- 7 Reasons Why the “Twin Flames” Idea Can Be Toxic and Disempowering, aka., Why I Abandoned the Notion
- 1. The notion that your twin flame completes you or is the “other half of your soul” is anxiety-provoking and disempowering
- 2. The idea of having a “twin flame” can cause people to stay in relationships that are unhealthy and blatantly toxic
- 3. The “runner and chaser” twin flame dynamic can lead to people feeling obligated to deal with bad behavior and trapped in abusive relationships
- 4. The belief that having a twin flame will solve all your problems is a lie
- 5. The twin flame idea has caused many people to abandon their healthy and functional relationships in favor of an illusory ideal
- 6. The twin flame notion misses the whole point of spiritual partnerships
- 7. There are scam artists and sharks who smell the blood of emotional vulnerability in the water and are using it to their benefit
- What Term I Use Now
- Final Words
What is a Twin Flame?
Here’s the original definition I shared in the chapter I wrote on twin flames in the twin flame book that I’ve since unpublished:
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Your twin flame, or twin soul, is a person with whom you are destined to feel connected on a physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual level. A twin flame is a person who’s your friend, lover, and teacher in this life.
21 Twin Flame Signs
Some signs of a twin flame that I later shared in the book were the following:
- You feel a strange, inexplicable sense of “recognition” when you meet the person.
- You have a feeling that they are going to play a crucial role in your own development.
- You’ve established an immediate, intense connection.
- You feel as though you’ve finally found a “home” or safe place with the other person.
- You can be your authentic self.
- You both embody the yin and yang.
- You feel a sense of expansion with them, as though you are larger than your limited identity.
- They make you a better person, and you make them a better person.
- When together, you are both bonded but free, attached but unattached.
- You are finely tuned to their energy, and they are finely tuned to yours.
- You feel as though you have been waiting for this person your entire life.
- You both connect deeply and mirror each other’s values and aspirations for life.
- Your twin flame is a mirror of what you fear and simultaneously desire the most for your own inner healing.
- Your childhoods were polar opposites.
- One of you is more spiritually mature than the other and often serves as the teacher, counselor, or confidant within the relationship.
- You are taught important life lessons such as forgiveness, gratitude, empathy, and open-mindedness by them and alongside them.
- Your connection is multi-faceted (they are your best friend, lover, teacher, and muse all at once).
- The most growth you’ve ever experienced has been with them.
- Your twin flame doesn’t try to change you. They accept you for who you are and what stage you’re at and encourage you to do the same for yourself (and vice versa).
- You can be truthful with each other about anything.
- Together, you both feel driven towards a higher purpose.
Now, most of these signs seem pretty innocent, right?
The problem with the twin flame idea is not so much the signs (although depending on the voice behind detailing them, it can be a problem) but how the concept is applied to everyday life.
7 Reasons Why the “Twin Flames” Idea Can Be Toxic and Disempowering, aka., Why I Abandoned the Notion
Now, here’s the thing: if you love and have found benefit in the idea of having a twin flame, that’s wonderful. You do you. I’m not here to try to change your mind because I trust in your ability to make the right decisions for your own life.
Hopefully, something I wrote about this topic in the past helped you, and I wish you all the best in your relationship with yourself and your partner moving forward.
But personally, as hard as I tried to make the twin flame idea work for me, and as much as I tried to make it a viable, down-to-earth reality, it became increasingly obvious through the years that I had to extricate myself from it completely.
Here are seven reasons why the twin flame idea can be toxic and disempowering and why I’ve decided to move on from the notion altogether:
1. The notion that your twin flame completes you or is the “other half of your soul” is anxiety-provoking and disempowering
Firstly, can you imagine how humungous a burden it is to place on someone else’s shoulders the responsibility of “completing” you or even being the “other half” of your literal soul? That’s an immediate recipe for dysfunction and horrific codependency in my book.
The twin flame notion is an anxiety-provoking idea that disempowers us because it makes our wholeness entirely dependent upon someone else and what they do or don’t do. Can you see how messed up that is?
Besides, it is my deep experience and realization that the Soul is innately whole and complete; it’s just the fragmented mind that believes otherwise. As such, how can someone else be the “other half” of your Soul?
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We need to question our spiritual beliefs carefully because they can be the difference between mental peace and psychological torture.
2. The idea of having a “twin flame” can cause people to stay in relationships that are unhealthy and blatantly toxic
Hearing from a friend of mine that the twin flame idea caused her to stay in a toxic relationship long past its expiry date because she believed “he was her twin flame” made me want to scream and cry at the same time.
The reality is that I’ve seen this happen a lot, particularly on the twin flame Facebook group I used to be an admin of for about five years. There were so many people in that group claiming to have twin flames, but when they described their connections, they were clearly one-sided or else utterly toxic and harmful.
When we get into our minds the idea that someone is our twin flame due to confirmation bias, it can be an extremely hard belief to shake. After all, it makes us feel special and shrouds our relationships in a kind of holy glow that we’re less likely to want to give up.
3. The “runner and chaser” twin flame dynamic can lead to people feeling obligated to deal with bad behavior and trapped in abusive relationships
The push and pull experience in relationships is common, aka., things are normal, we get into an argument, then we make up. Fairly typical, right?
The issue with the idea of twin flame relationships is that they’re largely defined by something known as a “runner and chaser” stage, where one person is pulling away from the relationship, and then the other is pursuing that person and trying to bring them back. Perhaps things work out for a while, and then again, the runner and chaser pattern happens.
Now, I have heard of people getting into some pretty blatantly abusive relationships and yet saying things like, “Oh, she totally ghosted me and pretends I don’t exist: we’re in the runner and chaser stage,” or “he’s behaving in such a controlling way because he’s the chaser and I’m the runner.”
In psychology, this push and pull dynamic is known as the Cycle of Abuse where tension builds, there’s an incident of abuse, reconciliation occurs, and then a period of calm before the cycle starts again.
So what abuse do people tend to justify in twin flame relationships? Some of these abusive tactics can involve things like:
- Being overly controlling (restricting what you do, who you see, where you go)
- Shaming and blaming you
- Criticizing and putting you down
- Guilt tripping or emotionally blackmailing you
- Humiliating you in front of others
- Controlling your finances
- Displaying extremely possessive or jealous behavior
- Ridiculing and dismissing you
- Accusing you of unfaithfulness
- Neglecting you (e.g., emotional withholding, silent treatment)
- Spying on or monitoring you
- Gaslighting and hoovering you
- Playing mind games with you
- Abandoning and ghosting you
You get the picture. What I’ve shared above is emotional and psychological abuse – but physical abuse can and does enter the picture as well.
All of the above abusive tactics, and more, have been suffered yet justified in the name of being in a “twin flame relationship.” But there’s a big difference between a healthy and satisfying relationship and one that is mentally, emotionally, or even physically toxic.
4. The belief that having a twin flame will solve all your problems is a lie
The notion of having a “harmonious twin flame union” that will provide you with utter peace, fulfillment, and unending joy sounds magical on the surface. But the reality is that we are all imperfect beings with flaws, annoying quirks, and traumas to work through.
We will inevitably feel a lack of peace, an absence of fulfillment, and other uncomfortable emotions at times, and that is totally normal. It’s part of being human, and we don’t need to pathologize and run away from it into a romantic fantasy.
The “happily ever after” and “eternal union” story is one of the best marketing gimmicks. But the honest truth is that we don’t know if our love will last forever. We don’t know if our relationships will be our “happily ever after,” even though we may desperately need and want them to be.
This doesn’t mean we become cynical and denounce love and relationships completely, but it does mean that we become more grounded and realistic. In my experience, the more realistic and down-to-earth we are in our relationships, the healthier and stronger they become.
5. The twin flame idea has caused many people to abandon their healthy and functional relationships in favor of an illusory ideal
This is one of the saddest parts of the twin flames nonsense. So many good, mutually respectful, and healthy relationships have ended because one person within the couple has found someone else who they believe is their “twin flame” – and therefore, they feel the need to abandon their current relationship in favor of their ideal one.
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Positioning the supposed “twin flame relationship” above other relationships as superior is harmful, toxic, and life-destroying for many people.
Imagine this: everything was harmonious in Jane and Bob’s relationship until one day, Bob discovered the twin flame idea, and BOOM. Now, Bob is no longer happy because his relationship doesn’t meet his fantasy spiritual ideal. He realizes that the crush he has at work on the receptionist must be his “true twin flame” because they have such a “fiery spark” – and so he abandons his wife in pursuit of this newer, more ideal twin flame relationship that will apparently fulfill his every need, make him whole and complete, and give him eternal happiness.
It sounds crazy, but this shit actually happens. And it breaks my heart.
6. The twin flame notion misses the whole point of spiritual partnerships
As Antoine de Saint-Exupery once wrote,
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
The twin flame idea promotes this kind of sickly preoccupation with the other person, what they’re doing, and how much happiness they’re bringing you – and whether they’re your “true” or “false” twin flame.
But this is all a distraction, in my opinion, as the point of a spiritual partnership isn’t to obsessively fixate on the other but to work towards making this world a better place.
Perhaps the twin flame notion is just a result of our hyper-individualistic narcissistic society that elevates the individual and their happiness above everything else. Perhaps that’s just a cynical observation.
Either way, the unhealthy preoccupation and obsession with another idealized person who is the “missing half of your soul,” to the exclusion of everything and everyone else, is self-absorbed and missing the point of love-centered spirituality.
7. There are scam artists and sharks who smell the blood of emotional vulnerability in the water and are using it to their benefit
As documentaries such as Escaping Twin Flames and Desperately Seeking Soulmate: Escaping Twin Flames Universe have come out, it has become increasingly clear that the twin flame idea has caused many to get sucked into disturbing and controlling cult-like groups.
Being raised in a fundamentalist religious cult-like environment, this is extremely disturbing to me and something that triggers feelings of anger and regret that I got into the whole twin flame thing in the first place (although, with self-compassion, I can understand why).
The highly emotional nature of the twin flame idea has led some scam artists who claim to be twin flames to charge huge amounts of money to access their services – I’m talking in the thousands of dollars range.
There is so much I could say about this, but I want to keep what I write simple and direct and encourage you to please exercise caution.
Paying thousands of dollars for courses and coaching packages that promise you to find your twin flame is not just ridiculous but, in my opinion, unethical to a criminal degree.
Keep your money and find someone who’s actually trained as a licensed relationship counselor – you’ll be much better off in the long run, financially, emotionally, and psychologically.
What Term I Use Now
As much as I dislike the twin flame label, I do appreciate the value and power of relationships as a spiritual catalyst. I have an article dedicated to the many soul ties we experience in relationships.
Since I’ve dropped using the “twin flame” term, I much prefer the term “spiritual relationship” or even just soul mate, as that feels more accessible and available to everyone, not just a select few who pay $7777 in a workshop to be matched with their “true twin flame” – or through divine cosmic intervention happen to find “the one.”
Final Words
If you’ve got this far, congratulations. I hope you feel more liberated from the twin flame idea by now – since dropping the label, I certainly have! And I’m never looking back.
Please be mindful and careful when navigating these murky waters.
Yes, there may be many well-intentioned, ethical people out there who talk about twin flames. But there are also many unethical and money-grabbing snakes out there ready to sink their teeth into the most desperate and lovesick among us, promising them fantasies and castles in the clouds.
Remember that twin flames won’t and don’t complete you. Your wholeness doesn’t depend on finding another person – this belief is a recipe for suffering, so let it go. True happiness and wholeness originate from within you.
You are the one you’ve been waiting for.
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Just curious, do either of you think there’s something that’s similar to a twin flame, but where the person is more like someone’s shadow or shadow aspects? Either as an enemy, friend, or creative partner in life.
I just turned 41 on wed of this week and something odd but very good has been going on in my life for over a year now since I made the move to Maryland from California. After my mother died in 2000 I went through so much hardship due to my own decisions that for awhile there I was ready to give up, but my warrior spirit refused to allow that to happen or even grace my thoughts for long so I kept going hoping something would change soon. Well a few days before my birthday in 2014 it did, because a female cousin I had met very briefly once offered to come let me stay with her and her husband till I was able to support myself securely. We had of course talked for 3 months over the phone before this idea was even suggested, but I found out once I moved here that after awhile we just automatically knew each other’s thoughts, mood patterns, and when something was wrong with one another. One example is that all three of us would go to the store and she would think of something we needed and I would already be heading down the aisle to get it, but no words were ever uttered from her mouth or mine, then later she would smart off and ask how did you know? I would just tell her I don’t know but I just do. I think to some degree she is more of a twin mirror sister if that makes sense, because there are NO romantic feelings shared between us but our energy levels, emotional states, the way we think and see things are the same except for one thing you mentioned. She is the Dominant and I am the more submissive but I am more organized and ocd about all areas where she is just overly so in the kitchen, she knows how to make me smile when I have a bad day and vice verse. However, about 3 months ago shortly before I got my job at Lowe’s I felt this earthquake that no one else felt even though I was at home and felt this overwhelming sense that I was finally going to meet my twinflame along with overwhelming emotions that kept me unable to sleep for a whole month, and I also had issues keeping food down that I normally did but to be honest it was unhealthy food, I guess the best way to say it is that my life was changed dramatically after that instance. I also had a couple of sensitive and empathic friends tell me that they felt I had found inner peace/balance and yet there was something else/one there that they couldn’t see . A month later I got a job and believe I may have met my twinflame, but in the same gender as I, which makes alot of sense to me now that I reflect on things. My first actual crush was at 10/11 years old on a female elementary speech teacher and it was actually before I started puberty to be honest, so I think that and how differently I am with man and woman in relationships it would explain this alot. To tell you the “signs” I experienced though in finding out it was her or at least that’s what the “signs” say are these:
1. The first time I saw her I instantly liked her but yet I was nervous around her too so this caused a issue for awhile until I became comfortable around her.
2. One day out of the blue coming inside from the garden area at work I was instantly flooded with vivid sexual images of she and I that was like something from out of a book one of those where even time seems to have stopped and for the rest of the day at work my mind was a hazy prisoner to those sensations I couldn’t concentrate, focus or even sometimes walk. At the same time these images flooded my mind I felt like I was having chest pains but I knew I wasn’t (I have a family history of heart issues on both sides of my family so I know the signs) having them, it got to the point to where I had to lean against our tall storage racks just to catch my breath for a few seconds. Funny thing is though she wasn’t there that day and until that day I hadn’t at least conciously seen her in that way.
3. She always tells me how sweet, wonderful, etc. I am and told me that I am the same as she in how we both wear our hearts on our sleeves and how easy we are to read, and she also told me during a conversation when I was still somewhat intimidated by her that she was actually very soft inside and nothing about her should intimidate me. I just thought she was being kind or nice to be honest but this along with other “coincidences” that have happened and comments she has made make me wonder.
4. You know how alot of people sexually dream when they sleep? Well I do this when I am awake since for some reason I don’t have control over my subconcious sleep lol. However, on my birthday night I swear it was like I had spiritual sex with her, because even though she wasn’t physically there I could picture her clearly in my mind with the vivid sexual details going on even down to the flaws on her skin and I haven’t seen anything naked of this woman other than her arms and calves. It was like I could reach out and touch her, hear her and feel every touch/reaction to mine, etc.
5. I found out last time we worked together that she has insomnia and on one particular night when I felt sexually inclined towards her I found out that she had been woken up by work and had a hard time going back to sleep. I feel like I am at home when I am at work but ONLY when she is there and if she is not I do whatever I have to to make the day go by faster and I am usually lethargic in mood. I have a very high energy level so being lethargic is like saying I am depressed.
The problem with all this is that even though she is a co worker she is also in management and while not a actual “manager” it’s a very risky situation for me and I have no clue how to approach this and to be honest my physical being is pleading for me to find a way to end the agony I go through soon lol. I just don’t know how to do this without getting fired and in todays times taking a risk at your job isn’t something you readily want to do without the right “signals”.
My grandmother used to tell about twin souls and I didn’t belive in such a think until it happened to me. Once I have a dream of a man who was stearing at me and give me a kiss in the forehead then I pursue him but he vanished , three months later I met this man in flesh and blood I could’t belive it the recognition was inmediatly for both of us his eyes were about to burts in tears for me was more a surprise ( strange and odd things are a constant in my life) since that time we feel that our love, respect and mutual admiration increase although our lives have different paths, he is not married but he has a girlfriend and they have a baby . I feel so happy that he has a stability in his life eventhough it shatters my heart. He told me that he loves me so much he can handle it. I know he is suffering because of this situation.It is seems so unfair what’s the point of all of this situation ( so close and so far) Once he told me to run away with him but I don’t have the streinght to do that I know deep inside that you can’t hold your happiness over the suffering of others. So now I show my self aloof and mean to him in order that he hate me and forget me but till now this is not working at all.
I have a simular experience.. years ago I had a dream, It was so vivid, it’s like a memory.
About this guy following me around and I got annoyed, and confronted him. Then when we finally stood in front of eachother and it was this young man, my own age.. Dark hair, tall and I was shocked how attracted I was to him.. We had this deep connection, I knew at that moment I have known him for ages. Then I asked him why he kept following me? He said he couldnt stay away..That he knew me all along. then I turned sad, and told him we couldnt be together cause he was dead. I cried, and he calmed me down, we hugged real tight deeply and kissed. So much emotion… It was really one of the most intense dreams I ever had…
When I woke up I was still crying knowing this dream was somehow really important, like this person was real. This was my man.
Now not too long ago I met this man, and my whole world turned upside down…
Sounds weird to most people, but I believe this man to be the guy from my dream.
We instantly had from the first moment we met this deep connection, it seems he can feel what I’m feeling. The most powerful attraction I ever felt with someone. And he can’t keep away.. even though I tried to avoid him.. It’s a bit like the dream, he keeps approaching me, but we can’t do anything.. because his girlfriend is pregnant. He havent said yet what he has been feeling, I think he is confused. And trying to sort out what is happening here.
And in the meantime the universe keeps throwing him on my path. And I’m trying to get by..
Hi Auralseira,
Precognitive dream might happen due to other strong karmic connection also. Only this sign doesn’t indicate that we have exactly met our twin as it can happen in other catalytic experiences also.
I had this experience with a person with whom I went through TF phenomenon. I don’t know whether you will view this or not. I’m trying to reach out to sets of twins to find a common pattern and decode this phenomenon.
I dreamed a guy, he apprd in a week in reality. The physical appearance, his infos and the futr incidnces almst al happnd in real life from Aug-Dec. I’ve never seen karmic debtor in dream to plan future incidences before appearing in reality, never a karmic debtor physically ran like a madman in streets to avoid me and never any karmic debtor fond of same things as me and no karmic person around me is incarnated just 2 hrs before me. I’ve never came across a great karmic healer like this who remained beside me during storms.This guy is having many similar traits with the closest childhood friend of me, I used to remain in this friend’s house during the time of domestic violence in my house. My twin said he loves me in many ways ‘as friend, mother, wife’. He said I remind him of his best friend and similar to his mother in my moralities. He thinks this relationship is complicated. Waiting to hear more from you.
This article was very enlightening for me. I have this person in my life and I have been very confused about what it is that I feel for him. When we first met, we almost instantly bonded and even though I know little facts about him, I feel as if I understand him so well. I appreciate and respect him for everything that he embodies, despite his flaws, and he seems to think the same thing about me as well. The problem, though, is that he used to be part of our mutual group of friends but he was kicked out. The majority of our friends disliked him for the externally agressive way in which he expressed his inner demons. I felt so bad for him, but there was nothing I could do, because I understood why he was being disliked. Since then I have found myself trying to forget about him, moving on and at times I believed I succeeded. But then, out of nowhere, I see him again and my whole body shivers – adrenaline kicks in, my heart races, everything but him is being muted out in my mind. And I know this isn’t due to me not being able to get over an old crush, or me being a teenager. It is something more, something so much more and before I read this article, I couldn’t explain what I felt. But now I do. And for that I want to thank you.
This article is very enlightening. Might be the 4th time I’m reading it in three months time and I still believe I am living it. BUT, I don’t know where the actual boundary between romanticizing, fantasy and real “twin flame” occurs in all that.
The sign that keeps my belief strong about him being my twin flame is the fact that he is running away from me. I assume that when you break up with someone who has been your VERY best friend beforehand, you can’t just ignore that person for a year. But then again, he’s so rationnal, I’m so not, so I tend to think as he would think in order not to go to far with my imagination (which is a big, red, highlighted “FAIL” until now). I wanted to write him a letter, just to tell him that although the everlasting silence hurts the hell out of me (and avoidance, when we happen to be in the same place), I still understand how “scary” it might be to know someone that could bring you from heaven to hell in a second and how impressive the energy between us was that it used to get us physically tired (which is basically how we described our relationship back then).
You said open communicaton was a key element in all this, and I’m a fervent preacher of honesty, so I’d be all with you on that, but he had such a hard time with me telling him everthing I was thinking the whole time (because it was overwhelming for him due to way too much empathy towards me – I guess). Plus, I have written countless times to him without ever getting a reply.
I don’t know. All I wish is for someone to tell me “yup, that’s it, he is your twin flame, and here’s what you gotta do to get him back”.
Honestly, I’ve been in such a deep maturation process since I’ve known him. I can see we pull each other up and we instantly became incredibly successfull and open to things we weren’t open before, but felt like it was what we always wanted/needed.
This is a bit of a mess in my head, and Engilsh isn’t my first language, so I hope it still makes sense :-)
Thanks for the “heads up” – if I may say. It helps.
K.
Thankyou for not romanticising this subject! I’ve seen too many write-ups which encourage people (myself included) to idealise the TF idea, and set some very fluffy,unrealistic expectations of what it’s like. This article here has definitely given me a bit of well needed clarity regarding this subject.
I now know i DID meet my TF. Problem is, despite our instant connection and recognition of one another, we just irritate one another too much! It’s very frustrating and heartbreaking for me, as I’ve never felt so instantly comfortable with someone ( and i’m in my late 30’s, so have met PLENTY of men..). We both felt an instant attraction too, but also a mutual “but this is kinda weird cos I also feel as though you’re more of a sibling” type thing. It’s as though we were lovers in a previous life, but then brother and sister in the next one, lol. I personally feel that friendship is a great basis for a relationship, but he is still young, (There is a 10 year age difference; he even reminds me of myself at his age…). and has never been in a very serious relationship, so that idea frightens him too much. There are irreconcilable differences, and I can’t see us ever working as a couple, unless we go our separate ways and magically meet up in about 10 years when we’ve both overcome our personal hurdles. Needless to say, I’m not holding my breath there….I think this all happened so that we could become AWARE of our stumbling blocks, and work upon them. I still feel annoyingly drawn to him though for some reason, and that sucks!
I guess this is super disappointing, as previous to meeting him, I KNEW a TF reunion was on the cards, …but it’s anticlimactic I guess, as I’d been really hoping to meet ‘The One”, you know? But now I’m not even sure that exists. Perhaps that’s just a result of my idealising the subject ( which i will NEVER DO AGAIN! )….but also I sorta feel like “If I can’t make it work with my Twin, who CAN i make it work with?” . It’s taken me so long to find someone I feel so comfortable with. It’s very hard. I really feel like i’m missing the best friend I’ll never have. :*( Trying not to lose hope completely though….it’s a big world out there…
There is a difference between twin flames and soul mates Bee. Actually, you might be interested in reading this article: https://lonerwolf.com/soulmate-relationships/ which elaborates on the different kinds of soul connections. You might resonate with quite a few. ;)
Is there? Most of the things i read about soulmates do resonate…..but i think i’m confused now as to how a TF differs..? Especially as TF’s are- as is stated here- not always romantic partners, but can be friends, relations, etc. Is there then really a difference between them at all? I can honestly say that Ive had the instant recognition and bizarre synchronicities with several people…..i guess this felt different because it was so intense so quickly, and brought up so many emotional issues out of nowhere. I’m not sure what to believe anymore. I’m starting to think that if we are all indeed connected- all “one” then potentially anybody and everybody is really our twin/ mirror, and that the only reason we don’t all realise it is because we are all at different levels of awareness; thus the *connection* ( in the earthly realm) only happens if both people are lucky enough to be at a very similar place in their personal path. Just my hypothesis….
P.s. I hope I don’t sound argumentative there; just been reading & hearing SO many contradictory views all over the place on this subject…and just when I think I have clarity……another comes along that makes more sense. Gah. I tend to rely upon my intuition, and- despite any physical evidence- for the last few years I’ve felt the growing suspicion that someone immensely important is going to enter my life. The synchronicities and…just a “knowing” really intensified late last year, and the beginning of this year was marked with a crappy kinda “false alarm” romance, AND huge upheavals in ALL areas of my life, so I figured I was being primed for something, lol. Perhaps it’s best that I just forget the idea….let life happen; just let it be crappy and take solace in the idea that someday I’ll be outta here & won’t have to think about anything, lol. It’s all just a big dream in the end, after all….
Totally agree. We meet souls from our soul family group who have very similar vibration and that’s why we feel a intense love reaction when we recognise their soul signatures and we may have agreed to meet them in incarnation. Most Twin Flames stay behind the veil guiding us. I believe we have more than one Twin Flame also.
As mentioned there are different variations of Soul Connections. You may have set up before you incarnated to meet up with this one who sounds like he is soul family.
You irritate eachother because they are mirroring the aspects of yourself that you dislike. You need to do the work of becoming self aware embrace it is releasing you from self and connecting you to source. It seems like you could grow and evolve conciously in order to be happy. That irritation is an alarm that there is misbelief or lack of understanding. Even if they dont want to change, change yourself into the person you want to be. This is about the evolution of conciousness, they are sharpening you quickly. Thats why it gurts all your issues are being brought to the surface for resolution. Once you lose your ego you will be able to be with them and happy. Its work, if you have a tf, its because you have come here to be of service of humanity and ascend, hopefully together!
Mine was more of a triplet. Me, my Mom and my son. We were all part of the same soul. When my Mom passed away, it was like I had lost an integral part of myself. I know people feel a deep loss when one loses a parent, but I feel as if this was something more. We knew each other without speaking. We calmed one another, comforted…just knew. I wish I knew how to explain it. Without her over these almost 14 years, I feel adrift and empty. Don’t misunderstand, I love my husband dearly and deeply but the bond I had with my mother is a bond I don’t think I’ll have in my life ever again.
Hi, I am pretty sure I’ve met my twin, which probably sounds wierd. But, we are unable to be together right now. We are both married to others. This woman works for the same agency as me. We sat at an agency lunch together. What I felt was this deep, Godly peace in a place that I didn’t know I even had! Our actual coming together has been barricaded with misunderstandings, anger and all kinds of contrary circumstances. We even live in the same town! Just telling you this little bit, makes me feel grateful. There’s much more to tell, but I don’t want to take up too much time. But, thank you for the opportunity to tell you some of our story! I decided to relate it, because it is a little different than what’s described above.
I’m sorry for “interrupting”, but I have an idea. i’m bipolar as well, and I haven’t too many others that are as well, but what I usually do to draw people out of their shells is be a bit direct. Don’t dance around the bush, especially with people who are as empathic as you or me apparently are:). Be direct with him. He probably knows that you will be hurt more if he doesn’t tell you, and if he truly is your twin flame, or whatever you may want to call your true love, soulmate, etc., then he will do it for you. However, be careful, as these experiences can be pretty bad, and especially if he’s built walls around himself they might be bad as well. Once you open up the walls a bit, be gentle with him. Also, one other thing, remind him that it is ok to have feelings, to be hurt and to be healed, as it is a human experience and NO ONE is that thick-skinned that nothing can get to him/her. I really can’t think of anymore off the top of my head, so I hope this helps!:)
I have met my twin flame, known him for about three years now. It was a singular experience, unique in every way, opening gradually over time, like peeling the layers from an onion. This discovery opened up a connection that is always there for me. I can invoke it at will whether or not I have seen him or spoken to him. He is an example of the one. Knowing him has changed me profoundly. He is quiet and intuitive and most people have a hard time reading him. For me, his body language is practically shouting at me. When he does to choose to share an insight with me I am not hurt or wounded because I trust him, I can hear him. Many times his observations of me initiate a great deal of pondering as I search for the truth within and accept it. After my initial (hopeful) reaction of falling in love with this soulmate, I then had to begin the process of accepting reality. He is a married co-worker and young enough to be my son although our outer appearances do not make this obvious and people who do not know his age still suggest to me, “What about him? He seems to be a perfect match.” I had an exchange like that this week. To shorten a long story, I successfully went through the five stages of grief over meeting the one and knowing and accepting that it will never be a romantic relationship. I am a sixty-one year old woman who is profoundly grateful that I know what the one feels like. It is enough.