Most of us define a Soul Mate as a perfect romantic partner that will fulfill every aspect of our being. Soul Mates are in sync with us, they are supportive, sexy, intelligent, funny and will be part of our “happily ever after” story.
The truth is, life is not quite that simple.
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What Exactly is a Soul Mate?
A Soul Mate is a member of your soul family. These are other souls that come into our lives for one reason or another, and they can be family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, lovers and even enemies.
We all have a soul and when we encounter other souls in our lives, the friction of the meeting between two energy forces can create different, intriguing and challenging effects. Some souls will feel as though they have known each other from another lifetime, some will clash, and some will feel at ease with the other person’s company.
Essentially some of the souls that come into our lives will help us grow in love and wisdom, while others will aid us in learning difficult life lessons or universal truths.
No matter how fleeting the encounter, each soul that comes into our lives has the potential to provide a significant life-transforming moment; even that one girl that smiled at you from the window of a bus passing by.
Soul Mates serve as mirrors of ourselves. What we see in another soul reflects our own soul.
When we are capable of seeing others souls as ‘mates’, (including our enemies), as members of our family that are there to teach us life lessons, then our whole perception and relation to other people changes entirely.
Different Types of Soul Mates
In our language, we have the word ‘friend’, and the word ‘soul mate’ which is essentially romantic by nature. But how would you describe someone that falls in between? Someone who is more than just a ‘best friend’ but doesn’t have the romantic and sexual attraction of a ‘soul mate’?
We need to create new words to express these relationships we have with others. Here are a few words that help to distinguish these deep connections we have in life:
This is your most common type of relationship connection. These are the people in your life who you have chosen because your ego, intelligence or emotions are harmonious with the others. Essentially, you share the same tastes, interests, beliefs, sense of humor and values.
While this connection is not as deep as a Soul Companion, a Soul Friend’s company creates little friction. Sometimes Soul Friends can become Soul Teachers, but generally, you are the one who chooses your Soul Friend as you perceive the world in a similar way to them.
Soul Teachers are composed of all the people in your life that have come to teach you a lesson. They don’t necessarily teach you intentionally, but often provide challenging situations in your life for you to overcome and learn from.
Soul Teachers often come in the form of family members, friends, acquaintances, old lovers, momentary drifters, and even enemies. You attract them into your life because you need to learn something from them. For example, some teach you to cultivate patience for the guy who doesn’t signal before changing lanes, to stop lusting over the ‘bad boys’ that keep crossing your path, or to develop greater compassion and understanding for another person’s way of life and beliefs.
Usually, any friction in relationships is due to a failure in acknowledging something within ourselves, or in other words; a resistance to the lessons our Soul Teachers teach us. We can never change other people unless they are open to do so, but we can change ourselves.
This would come closest to what we commonly define as a “soul mate” with the exception of romantic attraction. Soul Companions can be males or females, friends or family members. While Soul Friends are harmonized with us through their ego identities, Soul Companions experience soulful harmony with us. The nature of a Soul Companion is much more long-lived and stable to that of a Soul Friend for this reason.
Many times the relationships you develop with these people will feel as though you’ve known them for centuries, even from past lives. With a Soul Companion there is a great and deep understanding of the other person, and a feeling that you are both on the same ‘wave length’ of thoughts and emotions. These connections often last for a lifetime.
Soul Companions share both attributes of Soul Friends and Soul Teachers in that they experience ego harmony with us, as well as teach, help us learn, and grow, without the friction of a Soul Teacher, as Soul Companions lovingly share with us the journey. One of the reasons for such depth and harmony is because they usually share with us the same Soul Age.
The ancient Greeks believed that our souls were once whole and the Gods divided them into two different halves, and once we found our other halves we would become whole and complete again. That is the essence of Soul Twins.
Finding our Soul Twin often feels like finding a piece of ourselves that was missing. Many describe the feeling as ‘returning home’, or developing a greater sense of wholeness in the presence of the other person. Soul Twins share complementary, compatible life goals and their spiritual natures are often in sync. They also experience immense levels of comfort with each other that cannot be experienced in other relationships, and they complement each other in many ways through their strengths and weaknesses. (We explore this idea more in our Twin Flame and Soul Mates book.)
Interestingly, the Soul Age development of a person plays a significant role in Soul Twin relationships. Mature and Old Souls, for example, are more in-tune with finding their mates as they are more capable of experiencing a peaceful, joyous love that is not rooted in infatuation. This love can be grounded in unconditional affection that requires significant spiritual development to first overcome the fears and possessive attachments that are involved in most typical relationships.
In the end, it’s important to remember that none of these relationships are better or worse than the other – they each serve a purpose in our spiritual growth and healing.
Why Soul Mates Come Into Our Lives
There are three ways a Soul Mate can come into our lives, and that is: For a Reason, For a Season and For a Lifetime.
It is important to know of this distinction because once you know why a Soul Mate has come into your life, you can know what to expect from that connection. All too often we find couples, for example, who are still clinging to the dead flower of a relationship that was once blossoming but has reached the end of its season. So let’s have a closer look at these:
For a Reason
When you come across a Soul Mate for a REASON, it’s usually to meet a need that has been expressed in your life. This can be for guidance, assistance through difficult times, support, depth of conversations or simply as a presence for you physically, emotionally or spiritually. A Soul Mate can last a moment or a lifetime, depending on the type of Soul Mate relationship it is.
For a Season
Then there are Soul Mates for a SEASON, or people that come into our lives only momentarily. These people may serve as catalysts to share, grow and learn, or they may present themselves in a moment when we need to overcome our fears of vulnerability, or when we need someone to challenge our belief system, or even when we need to discover a passion we were unaware of. Regardless of the reason, these Soul Mates are only Seasonal and leave once their gift has passed on.
For a Lifetime
Lifetime relationships are predominantly Twin Soul connections. They teach us lessons that are so deep, so intricate that they require a lifetime of loving growth with the other to assimilate deeply.
In lifetime connections, the strengths of one person are used to strengthen the other, and the harmony between both Soul Mates is so peaceful and flows so well that they often last a lifetime. These relationships are as rare and as precious as fine jewels, and we should feel immensely blessed if we encounter them during our lives.
There are an infinity of Soul Mates out there that we will encounter during our lives. While some come to teach us something new, others come to share our joys. While some last for only a few months or years, others last for a lifetime.
With these lessons and shared moments of bliss, we learn to grow spiritually and come closer to finding our wholeness as human beings.