When I met Luna a few years ago she was experiencing great levels of anxiety.
When she went to the doctor and explained her situation, they prescribed her with high levels of SSRI anti-depression medication. Months later, after reading all the endless long-term side effects of using those drugs, I immediately suggested she get off them.
My interest in Western psychology began as soon as I moved to Australia in my adolescence. For as long as I can remember I’ve been interested in the study of the mind’s relationship with life. Growing up, I was taught that everything in the world was interconnected, that our perceptions of a divided reality are veils of illusions and dreamlike perceptions we create. My great-grandmother had a saying I still remember to this day:
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En este mundo traidor; nada es verdad ni mentira, todo es según el color del cristal con que se mira.
‘In this deceitful world; nothing is true nor false, everything is the color of glass through which you look at life.’
Understanding the Fallacy of Medicine
Western Medicine overlooks an essential aspect of “mind-body disorders” and that is the assumption that all body conditions are chemically caused.
This key assumption is what forces doctors to misdiagnose anxiety and depression and address it in an adequate way. Our doctors assume that anxiety and depression are caused by an imbalance of brain chemicals, as opposed to the brain chemical imbalance being caused by anxiety and depression. In other words; they confuse the cause with the effect.
There are only a few true mental chemical imbalances (schizophrenia for instance) that require serious prescription medication, yet in 90% of the cases you mention anxiety or depression, they will medicate you.
In fact depression is an advanced form of anxiety towards life gone untreated, and anxiety itself, with the exception of some brain atrophies, is a cognitive disorder. In other words, we’ve created a perception of reality, a dream, by believing our negative thought patterns and identifying them as “rules” about ourselves. For example: “I suck at socializing” or “I always have such bad luck in everything”.
These observations we make about ourselves that come from a few bad experiences, can turn into automatic subconscious rules, or dreams, that repeat themselves in the future. Our unconscious minds are so powerful they automate things for us, such as how when we learn to drive a car, soon the process is “auto-piloted”. In a similar fashion, our subconscious minds can learn to repeat negative words and beliefs in the back of our minds automatically.
Whatever you feed your subconscious mind will turn into a rule (yes, your subconscious is not very smart!) That is why to reverse your anxiety, you have be very conscious and aware of what information you’re accumulating and molding a dream out of.
You may perceive anxiety as a feeling, but in fact, anxiety is a thought. Your thoughts are the cause of anxiety, the feeling of anxiety is the result. To treat feelings you have, you can use chemicals (SSRI’s), vitamins, diets etc. But to treat thoughts, all you have to do is learn how to be aware of your thinking and learn how to think correctly.
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How to Free Yourself From Anxiety
Once you realize that anxiety isn’t the result of feelings or chemicals but by automated thoughts you create, it gives you the freedom and control to change your thinking.
You can aid yourself by using your phone or a piece of paper to create a list of all the thoughts you have that are causing your anxiety.
The following are some of the most common subconscious perception patterns you may come across:
1. Mind Reading
We all like thinking we’re capable of predicting what other people are thinking, but more often than not, we simply jump to conclusions believing assumptions that aren’t true. Have you ever caught yourself thinking: “I like my poem but I know people are going to think it’s stupid”, “My teacher doesn’t notice the effort I put into that essay” or “My co-workers think I’m lazy and do nothing”? All these thoughts are just one possibility out of an infinity of thoughts, yet our unconscious minds confuse them with factual statements and create the appropriate feelings of anger or resent.
Solution: Instead of absolutes, rephrase the statement as a possibility (“They might think …”). You could also ask them directly what they think, or imagine a positive statement they might have about you instead.
2. Future Telling
This is the same as mind reading, only now instead of predicting people’s thoughts, we believe we can predict life itself. “I’m not going to get that job”, “I’ll probably end up last in the race”, “Today is going to be horrible”. Your unconscious mind will take that as a fact, and will already have that outlook, usually attracting it to occur.
Solution: Ask yourself mindfully, “Do I honestly know this will happen?” “What proof have I got to verify this assumption?“
3. Black and White
This is one of the most common negative thought patterns. Do you ever catch yourself using words like “always“, “every” and “never“? It’s a great way to convey intense exaggeration of feeling about something to other people, for instance: “I always fall in love with the bad boy”. Unfortunately, our subconscious minds will interpret that literally and repeat the cycle.
Solution: Consciously analyze these hyperbole’s and objectionably ask whether they are true or not. Is every single person you’ve ever dated a heart breaker, for example? Rephrasing your sentence to: “Many of the people I like have been unwise choices” makes all the difference in preventing your subconscious mind from acting on your thoughts.
4. One-sided Filter
There are times when someone will provide you with a lot of encouragement for your work and also some criticism to improve on, yet all you can seem to focus on is the criticism, ignoring anything good they said. You’ll later think back on this moment and only remember all the bad things that you did, and none of the good. Eventually, your subconscious negative narcissist is going to look for ways to reaffirm its insecurities and low opinion of yourself.
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Solution: The best approach is to be objective about the feedback you receive. You should either take positive and negative feedback together, or reject them both, because by accepting criticism it also means you’ll have to accept the accolades.
5. Self Dismissal
Often, you will find that even when you do something well, you will be the one to reject anything good you accomplish, and dismiss it entirely, or put it down to mere coincidence or luck. For example: “I did score a goal but there are better players in the team than me“, “That was just a fluke“.
Solution: Think back to all the great accomplishments you’ve achieved, write them down as a list, and read them out loud whenever you’re feeling like you have some inadequacy.
6. Catastrophizing
Catastrophizing is a feeling based on an irrational thought of believing that something is far worse than it actually is. Catastrophizing can generally can take two forms. The first comes from a situation, for example, you’re going through a rough patch of bad luck in a job or relationship and immediately you feel like everything will end badly, you’ll lose your job, or break up from a relationship. The second form is closely linked to the ‘Future Teller’ in which you envision the future and predict everything that is going to go wrong based on your current negative outlook.
Solution: Use self-exploration, and ask your “Why” you are perceiving everything so negatively. Once you have the answer, objectively ask yourself: “What’s the worst that can happen?” Is it probable you’ll get fired? If you get fired, will it provide an opportunity to find a job you enjoy more?
7. Generalizing
In order to be more efficient, your subconscious mind runs on auto-pilot most of the time. That is why time seemed longer as a child than it does as an adult: as a child you were experiencing many things for the first time, but afterwards, your subconscious labels everything with a “general” idea, for example: “That’s an apple“, the shades and the subtleties don’t matter. Your subconscious does the same with bad experiences, “I was embarrassing and awkward when I asked those last two girls out, I’d rather avoid it.“
Solution: Writing down your thoughts is a great way to make your perspective more objective. Ask yourself “Should past experiences define future experiences?” and write down the answer that pops into your mind and what evidence you have to back it up.
8. Identification
We are so unaware of our authentic selves that we begin finding our identities in the wrong places, for example, how ‘our’sports team performs, or how our children can easily become reflections of ourselves. Even when girl says: “All the men I meet are jerks“, we begin to ask ourselves, “Am Ione of these jerks?” Our subconscious self-preservation instincts kick in and we begin to feel anxious.
Solution: Be consciously aware of what you choose to find identification with, example of poor choices are countries, cultures, children and even passing comments.
9. Blaming
The opposite of identification, when you blame others for your problems and faults, you lose the responsibility for them and consequently the power to change. Unconsciously you feel all these bad things are happening to you, but it’s other people’s fault, not yours.
Solution: Before you blame anyone else for some misfortune in your life, ask yourself whether you could possibly be responsible or somehow involved in causing the situation. It’s natural to want to avoid blame or change, as most of us feel as though it will reflect on our worth as human beings. But once you take responsibility for your problems, you feel empowered because you can fix them. Also, the anxiety of believing that bad things just come into your life out of nowhere, goes away.
10. Should’s
Whenever you create an ideal self by stating, “I should be more social”, “I should be more punctual”, you’re making your subconscious mind anxious by telling it that “we have to be this way otherwise our survival is threatened”.
Solution: Be mindful of the words you use, if you seek to improve in some area, state to yourself: “I’d like to work on my socializing or punctuality”.
11. Labels
Labeling involves identification and generalizing, and is where you find a word that reflects how you feel and begin identifying with it. If you make a few mistakes or have a few accidents in public, for instance, you might immediately tell yourself, “I’m such a klutzy person“, “what a loser!” or “I’m a moron“. Labels can condition us into feeling anxious all the time, believing that we are one thing or another.
Solution: Speaking out loud allows your subconscious mind to hear your statements – that is why positive affirmations work so well. Whenever you consciously catch yourself trying to label yourself in a certain way, correct yourself aloud by stating the truth; “I am not always like this, so where is the evidence that I am a moron? Or klutz? It has only happened a few times“.
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12. Perfectionism
A lot of people struggle with this. Perfectionism is judging your self-worth on the outcome of your actions. To approach life with a perfectionistic attitude is to tell your subconscious that “my whole life depends on this“, and causes you to feel stress and anxiety, contributing to problems like burnout and health issues.
Solution: To overcome perfectionism, you must walk the path of self-discovery, knowing that there is no such thing as perfection, and we all possess the exact same worth, and it is natural (and even healthy) to make mistakes now and then.
***
It is time for Western medicine to stop treating any issue we have as a biological one instead of a mental one. Numbing the side-effects of an issue with medications without changing the root cause, is the same as thinking cough pills are curing the common cold when in reality they are only alleviating the discomfort.
It’s no coincidence that in consumerist countries this mentality goes unquestioned; when pharmaceutical industries are financed and backed up by drug companies, what else can you expect but a self-perpetuating cycle of illness and misdiagnosis? We try to spread awareness through inner work of this issue, and welcome everyone to encourage awareness however they can.
What are your thoughts on this issue? Have you had any experience with these medications, or dreamlike perceptions, in the past or present?
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Very good article. EYE never ever taken any kind of medication eye NEVA listen to any DINOSES the DRS gives. I gave a son and a daughter. I did not let them gave any of my BBY THOSES toxic shots. It is so crazy with theses DINOSES that theses inhuman DRS tell PPL and most DONT research. When I tell others look u can heal UR own self with herbs and good thought. They say u AINT no dr. But yet u get WROST and one DINISE leads to another ANC next thing u no u have a cabinet full of pills to kill. It’s all a money hurry disgusting business. The pharmacy and DRS work together. They alllll need to be out in jail because they or. The world’s. BIGGEST DOPE PUSHERS SENSE THE HISTORY OF MAN KIND. YOU SUD HERE TBE NAME DRS. NAME AND TOLD MY ANCESTORS SLAVERY. EXAMPLE. DR CARITE SO CALLPROFESOR IN NEW ORLEANS. SAID. HARRIET TUBMAN. FREDDICK DOUGLAS AND MANY MORE WAS DINOSE WITH DRAKE-TO-MO-E-YA. IT MEANT RUNAWAY SLAVE AND THE CURE WAS TO WHIPAND BEAT THE SHIT OUT YOU. IF U GUYS ONLY KNEW THE NAMES AND SHIT THESES INHUMA REPTILES. CAME UP WITH FOR MY PPPL AND OTHERS. MOST IF THESES INHUMAN DRS. ALREADY HAVE THE MEDICATION FIR U BEFORE THEY EVEN DINOSE U. EXAMPLE. THEY ALL OF A SUDDEN CAME OUT WITH THIS A D D BULLSHIT. THEY CLEARLY WASNT MAKING ENOUGH MONEY OFF IT. SO THE INHUMAN VAMPIRES BLOOD SUCK THE LIFE OUT CHA. CAME UP WITH A D H D. and start POPIN pills in our children mouths at the schools. All it does. Is break down the black man intesting so by the time he reaches the age of 21. He cannot produce children. They tried to tell me that bulshit about my son and said he needed it. When I got threw with they asses they was singing another tune who EVA heard of a dr. Knocking on UR door on a SUNDAY to give u some pills for it child. Words just cant express the things I told that beast. When I got threw. Mentally. Spiritually. Breaking him dw to ground zero. He had to take a yr vacation.
I go through life with a convoluted set of social rules that I can’t articulate but somehow know when they’re broken. It’s going to take me some time to unlearn what I’ve been taught about depression, though I don’t think I can ever believe my personal depression is “an advanced form of anxiety” because the soul-ripping loss of will to live came before anxiety and as a result of abuse. But hey, I haven’t offed myself yet so that’s a good thing.
What stands as depression and what might be a spiritual calling like a dark night of the soul, requires much soul work and exploration to discover. Reading through some of our other work might help you figure our which one it may be.
Much warmth Aubrey,
Sol
As always, an interesting article. I would like to point out however, that while doctors may still mention the chemical imbalance explanation to their patients, in general, thie field of psychology and mental health care has abandonded this theory. It is a gross oversimplification of what may really happen in the brain of a depressed person, so much so that it is in fact, a myth. Sadly, the damage has already been done. While the field of mental health care is moving away from this myth, many doctors still tell it to their patients, and the general public is hardly aware of the falsity of the chemical imbalance theory. Feelings of depression and anxiety may cause changes in the levels of neurotransmitters, but interestingly, no one can directly measure the levels of neurotransmitters in a living person – they can only be derived by other measurements. This is something to keep in mind when there is talk of levels of neurotransmitters. Years ago, I had a friend who is a diabetic. His wife, sadly, suffered from severe depression. She benefited from antidepressants, as is sometimes the case in people with severe depression. He likened her dependency on antidepressants to his own need of insulin. A mere ‘chemical imbalance’. At the time, I didn’t know better myself, but I always think back of that conversation.
I absolutely love the Lonerwolf website and everything that you guys write, but I think it is very irresponsible to suggest that SSRIs are always a bad thing. You just have to look on the internet to see that a lot of depressed people have had a very positive and extremely life-changing experience with them, which has allowed them to leave depression and anxiety behind and lead positive lives for the first time.
I was in a very dark place before I was prescribed with SSRI’s and I hate to think what would have happened to me if I hadn’t started taking them. Before Celexa I felt like I was drowning in a kind of suffocating swamp, in a never-ending Dark Night of the Soul, unable to lift my head above the mud, full of crushing thoughts about how useless and awful I was – and how my life would never amount to anything.
Since taking SSRI’s I’ve had a kind of spiritual awakening. I actually have self-esteem for the first time ever, which is an extremely unusual experience for me. I’m no longer unable to focus on anything but my own misery, and have, over the past few years, built fabulous friendships and rediscovered my joy in life and the world around me. I go out for drinks, to the theatre, to dinner etc – I’m able to appreciate the beauty of things, of life and the beauty of the earth beyond myself. I feel like I am a much better person, more open minded and accepting of others, because I am not 100% always focussed on myself.
And most importantly, I have the peace of mind to be able to write a novel, something that I’ve wanted to do for the longest time ever, but have never had the mental focus to be able to do until now.
SSRI’s might not be the right thing for everyone, but they very definitely work for some people – a lot of people probably. And I think that if your doctor prescribes them for you, then you should give them the benefit of the doubt and take them.
Thank you Catherine for sharing your experience with SSRI’s.
My recommendation comes from my experience in treating and guiding clients who have been on SRRI’s, most of them unhappy with them. With some it has taken more time than others, but eventually, all of them have managed to overcome their struggles and depressions without the nasty side effects that SSRI’s often bring.
I am not against meditation, but I only recommend it to people who have clearly severe cases psychotic states. In the holistic way that I understand the psycho-spiritual imbalance, dark nights of the soul and depressions (they’re not the same thing), are internal alerts letting us know that something is off. Whether it be passed traumas or a deep dissatisfaction with where our life is currently heading, they can be treated in a much more mature and respective way that using chemicals to forcefully numb our that alert. Sure the symptoms of depression may disappear, but the issue never gets dealt with or explored, it only becomes suppressed.
Sure medication is much quicker and efficient in such a fast paced world with so many demands, but it’s not necessarily wiser. Efficiency is for machines, not humans. But this is only my experience and the way I handle treating our clients (which a few ironically are doctors).
I hope this clears up the reasoning behind my statement in the article and I’m happy to hear you’re on your way to following your passion of writing a novel :).
My dark night was the most painful and frightening experience in my 45 years of life. I believe though it was crammed into about a year of what I would have preferred to deal with gradually in a lifetime. The process truly almost killed me. It was at least a year before I felt some relief …a seesaw. Brief moments of peace that gave me hope to hang on. I had to fall to pieces it seems and feel every emotion I thought I buried and forgot and ignored in my life. nothing could prepare me for this. I would describe it as hell. There was no where to hide. This was it. I felt everything I buried in my subconscious go through my heart and soul. My spirit was shattered and and there were no pieces to be found just yet. It was a long process I had no choice but to do the work to ultimately find my authentic self. A dissection that resulted in remembering who I was. I was guided back to early childhood and finally connected with that child and could let go of my Shadow self and see and feel life through innocent eyes. After knowing the truth I was able to forgive myself and become who I really am. It’s as if I was given a second chance to get it right. Everyday I discover something about this kind of stranger in me. I’m forever getting to know this butterfly I’ve become. I learn something new everyday. I was truly a stranger to myself and how exciting my life has become. Getting to know me is full of surprises. It’s a journey of self discovery. Someone I never got to know or love. I never felt better in my life. I will now face everything head on as it comes. No turning away anymore. Everything is possible. Life is magical. Hang in there. You are not alone. All drugs only prolong the inevitable journey. It may not be in this life but sooner or later I believe it’s necessary to move to the next……….. ! There are lessons to learn. And we all learn differently. The most important lesson I learned was from my daughter. Love without any conditions. She knew from the very beginning. She is my angel. Never felt it before in my life. She gave me what I was searching for all my life. And even today I sometimes don’t feel like I deserve it. I still deal with guilt from some bad choices I’ve made as a mother. I now learned to trust my gut feeling and not the OPinions of,Especially doctors. Question everything but trust your feelings. And yourself. We all make mistakes. But these doctors who prescribe drugs to bandage the wound are really not in touch at all with their soul and think dangerous chemicals taken is the answer. How scary. These doctors are not even close to the real answer. And yet we trust and leave these strangers called psychiatrists the power to take control over our MINDS and alter the path of life that knowone should have the power to do. They are far from Gods and angels. They are altering the natural process of the heart soul spirit evolution Why are we treating them like gods??????? They are preventing awakening. To keep us asleep and like sheep when we are really the shepherds of our lives. Don’t believe it We can all find the solution in ourselves. Believe it
I really believe more time should be invested in teaching children to deal with anxiety, depression and fear. It would go such a long way in creating a better, healthier world. Thank you, Mateo, your wisdom packaged in humility, always well received. Any thoughts on a series of videos on this topic? It would be perfect to use in a classroom, for this generation of non-readers.
It’s my pleasure Willow, I know as child how difficult coping with anxiety could be and not knowing what I was experiencing.
Luna and I are working on more ‘practical’ aspects of our work through videos and podcasts that should be coming out in the coming months which I’m sure we’ll be useful to all ages.
Brilliantly written and insightful article. I think I’ve been lucky with most of my life – until recently I hadn’t suffered with the majority of the issues you mentioned in this article. And when I have, I seem to have had a subconscious self-repair mechanism in my head that fixed it for me.
My wife on the other hand has struggled through many of the issues you’ve mentioned above. We’ve been on a journey where she has started to overcome a lot of these issues. However, during her journey, there were some things we both had to face some things within our relationship which caused me to inadvertently introduce some of these conditions into my own psyche -it led me down into a path of severe (close to suicidal) depression.
I didn’t feel that discussing the issue with anyone through counselling or even talking with friends would help as the issue was purely to do with my wife’s perception of me. I didn’t want or need anyone telling me that one or both of us was right or wrong – it was just something that we needed to work through together, and that would require time. I didn’t want to go on any medication either so I avoided going to the doctor to get anti-depressants.
Instead I found sanctuary in nature, while I was mountain biking. Away from people and anything man made I found the world to be a simple and beautiful place where there was nobody to judge who I had become or what I now did. The influences and pressures of society don’t exist out on the trails – just peacefulness of being. That became my anti-depressant, until I was able to mentally repair my self-healing mechanism.
My friend, nature has been my greatest counselor and teacher over the years, I can perfectly understanding your infinite gratitude to it.
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Ah, I understand. I’m not in a position to undertake anything like that with our current family and business situation. Perhaps one day… For now I’ll continue to just focus on emptying my mind of worldly distractions while I’m riding in the middle of nowhere, as well as focussing on not running into trees while I’m doing that.
I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety since I can remember. It’s a right nightmare to live with, and for a long time I’ve never really felt like anything I personally did was going to help. I ended up thinking that western medicine like I was getting would be the best possible solution I’d ever have. I’ve begun to seriously doubt that now. Our minds are powerful tools and words can make or break. It’ll probably take some time, and it may not be easy, but I’ve begun trying to tackle the roots of my problems and my negative thoughts. It’s great to find articles written about these things.
Thank you for this. I am a writer, musician and artist who has been suffering from “obsessive compulsive disorder” and “depression” since I was still small enough to hide in the toy box at the back of my closet. Though recently, several decades later, after leaving an abusive marriage, going bankrupt and quitting a college program that I just couldn’t bring myself to commit to, I began to develop both general and social anxiety.
Suddenly at the supermarket I was having these intense and disorienting panic attacks that only swelled with the certainty that everyone was looking at me, wondering just what the heck was wrong with me. It’s the stuff of nightmares, only ten times worse then any dream you ever had where you showed up somewhere naked. I even get this soul crushing anxiety with loved ones now whenever I try to talk to them about anything even remotely serious and I feel their eyes on me. I have never felt more helpless and frightened in all my life.
I have very little faith in Western medicine and have been trying to regain my peace and calm through meditation and self reflection which has been somewhat helpful when I am alone but I don’t know what to do when I am speaking to someone and that horrible feeling washes over me and the panic sets in.
I guess the greatest gift I can take away from this article today is hope. It’s very relieving to hear the reassurance that you have everything you need to heal yourself inside of you already, that you are not just “born with a broken brain” and that you can have a normal life again… eventually.
It’s a crippling sensation to be washed over by anxiety and panic attacks.
Much of the anxiety you feel with people comes from wanting to do something when these attacks occur, which furthers the anxiety as it gives you the illusion you have the ability to control what is happening but you’re choosing not to.
I’ve encouraged many of our clients to simply feel those emotions and intense feelings, let them wash over them on purpose. Learning how to fully accept what is happening at the present moment provides enough psychic energy within you to slowly learn how to create a bigger distance, a bigger space of self-awareness within yourself so as to stop identifying with the thoughts that are causing you anxiety.
There is more than hope, there is an amazing journey that awaits ahead. All these wounds, no matter what kind, provide the shock in our lives that is necessary to go searching for more to live than just the mediocre existence we’d otherwise be reduced to.
It’s interesting that you mention schizophrenia as a serious mental health condition that requires medication – I don’t believe that at all.
when I first started seeing a doctor for MH I could have easily been diagnosed. It’s not been medication that has kept me stable but self-care and self-discovery, the same as you would recommend for anxiety and depression.
With any sort of psychosis or reality disturbance, the problem is fear. If you don’t fear delusions, your rational mind is free to work again and you can logic your way back to a comfortable reality.
To me much of what modern psychology defines as schizophrenia is not really schizophrenia, but bursts of psychosis that often have a different origin (stress, fear, anxiety etc..). In these cases I agree with you completely.
But from personal experience I’ve seen and grown up individuals who’s reality disturbance would be bordering on the extreme, the existed from a place of such an intense fear that any form of dis-identification with that fear was almost impossible.
In these cases I would recommended medication, at least initially till they can seek alternative treatment as they present a risk to themselves and others.
My life has changed in many ways in the last 7 years. During that time I learned to live alone. I work part time and try to keep busy with my grandson just about every weekend. I presently have no close friends and have not dated or had any interest in men in the last 7 years. I have become a sort of recluse, but enjoy my personal time. Relationships in the past have damaged me emotionally. I find it very difficult to start over and no longer bounce back like I used to. Where I work there is no opportunities for forming any new friendships, it is purely professional, but I have a lot of aquaintances. As a sensitive individual I can easily make friends. If I choose to, but trust is another matter. My trust has been broken many times and family members have betrayed me in the past and no longer talk to me.
I’m constantly stuck in the past and I try to forgive and forget, but when around my parents. It all resurfaces again. I would like to move forward, but I don’t know how…This situation causes a lot of anxiety in my life…I think this is why I relate so well to the dark night of the soul or shadow self.
There are some really good strategies you suggest here. That I am going to practice, because I don’t sleep at night very well anymore and have been waking up a lot in fear or anxiety wakes me. Thank you for the article it was very helpful.
Thank you for sharing your experience Kim. I can tell you that it gets easier the more centered you become. Our main focus in all of our work is that of finding freedom, freedom from our thoughts and emotions that tangle us up so often when dealing with others and ourselves.
I’d love to hear how you go with these practices, leave a comment whenever you want.
Warmly,
Sol