Traditionally, the media has been known to equate loners with mentally ill psychotics who go on murderous rampages.
And while, yes, sure, there are some disturbed ‘loners’ out there, the reality is that …
most loners are totally normal people!
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If you find yourself alone and without friends or family to rely on, I want to assure you that you’re actually in good company.
In the age of social media, global pandemics, and increasing disconnection, being a loner is becoming more common.
But there is a deeper meaning behind this solitude.
And I’ll explore that in this post.
Table of contents
9 Signs You’re a Loner
Being a loner sounds self-explanatory. But for clarity sake, here’s a list of signs that you’re a loner:
- You enjoy spending time alone more than with other people.
- You can’t connect with (or don’t have any) family members.
- You can’t connect with (or don’t have any) friends.
- You’re introspective and tend to be an introvert.
- You like to take life slowly, and the world can feel overwhelming.
- You’re a free spirit who loves independence.
- You tend to have interesting quirks.
- You have the strong desire to walk your own path as a lone wolf.
- You’re the black sheep of the family.
We also have a loner test that you can take if you’re still unsure.
Myths About Loners
Here are some common myths about loners:
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- “Loners hate people”
- “All loners lack social skills”
- “Loners are secretly plotting your death”
- “Loners are lonely people”
- “Loners are creepy”
- “Loners are all mentally ill”
Sure, while some loners might possess some of these qualities, these are not blanket statements or truths that apply to all loners.
Why Being a Loner Can Be Empowering
It’s true that as a species, we require some level of social connectedness.
Don’t worry, that will come with time!
Sometimes we’re in a space in life where we just need to retreat from the world. We need to process our thoughts and feelings, and figure out our ‘true north.’
So to counteract the previous section (those myths are widely spread and can make lonesome people feel horrible), here are some ways being a loner actually helps you:
- Being a loner helps you to develop more self-awareness
- Being a loner supports you in finding the meaning of life
- Being a loner helps you to recover from social overwhelm
- Being a loner gives you space and perspective
- Being a loner helps you to figure out your passions and interests
- Being a loner helps you to develop more independence and self-reliance
- Being a loner makes you a deeper and more interesting person
- Being a loner helps you to find your self-worth within
Can you think of any more ways that being a loner is empowering? Share in the comments!
The Deeper Meaning Behind Being a Loner
There’s a reason why this website is called ‘lonerwolf’ – it has a deeper meaning that is directly related to being a loner. And that is …
At some point in life, we must all leave the herd and find our own paths.
We must become lone wolves.
We must listen to the calling to reconnect with our Souls.
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The world can be a busy, overwhelming, pressuring, and confusing place. For those who feel a deeper spiritual calling emerge within their being, solitude is natural and needed.
In many cases, loners are empaths and old souls who are on the soul searching path. Being alone is, quite simply, a crucial part of their life path.
So in a nutshell, that is the deeper meaning behind being a loner: it’s a sign that you’re on the spiritual journey and you need the space to figure out who you are and what you want out of life.
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If you’d like to read more about inner growth, walking your own path, and spiritual evolution, keep digging into this website. There are so many free resources and guides for you to benefit from. One related article you might enjoy is our introvert article.
Tell me, why are you a loner? What is the deeper meaning for you?
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Perfect. Not all loners are misanthropic.
I used to be a very talkative person; but then I moved to school in different area and my life completely changed; people were so hostile to me when I talked; im a talkative person and I enjoy talking, but …. I don’t know… when I talked I faced so much hostility; I remember I was doing some training and I was on a post with two other guys; the wholllleee time they were insulting me and degrading me; It was mind boggling to me at the time and I had sooo many things running through my head; why are they treating me like this? what did I do to deserve this? why are they being so hostile to me? is it because I refused to do what they told me to do a couple weeks ago during training? why? eventually I moved on and went to a different location for school; I was still recovering from the hostility I faced at my previous school but I still had a desire to talk. the next school sealed the deal; I used to live in a common room with 5 other people; I remember one day, like 2 or 3 of… Read more »
Hi Aletheia. I just wanted to say I enjoyed reading your article. I just started going to college, and I have been feeling confused because the person whose company I enjoy the most is me. I’ve always been an introvert, but it has been difficult to explain to new people I meet that I just like having my alone time. I’m the most content when I’m studying or reading by myself. Don’t get me wrong – I enjoy meeting to and talking to new people. However, I don’t think I should be shamed when I say I need some alone time. Thank you for making me feel like it’s okay.
I can’t believe that I found this article just now. I could write a book on the ostracizing that I went through throughout grade and high school. Not to bring race into it (I’m only using this as an example), but if you think being a Caucasian male/female loner is hard? How about a primarily African-American male who doesn’t speak slang or prefers university, books and computer games over sex? I’ve had a Christian upbringing, and wasn’t truly exposed to pop culture and other things until high school, and I’ve been labeled as the dreaded Class Fall Guy from minute one. Back then (and this still rings true today) African-American children in Philadelphia and possibly everywhere else weren’t exactly known for making bi-weekly trips to several libraries, going on walks through Center City, researching public transportation history (I loved public transit history and networks as a hobby) and other things; the latest things at time were sports, girls, Married With Children, West Coast hip-hop, rap and New Jack Swing. Back then, as an African-American male, if you didn’t speak a certain way, act a certain way or follow everyone’s perceived stereotypes of what you were “supposed” to be, you were… Read more »
Thank you for writing this article! I myself can be a very social person in the presence of certain people but find it much more relaxing to be alone. It gives me time to reflect on myself and the world around me without the opinions of others. There has been quite a bit of rejection in the sense of relationships on my end but I always come out feeling more relieved that it didn’t work out than depressed. Everything happens for a reason, if I go throughout my life as a lone wolf I can go my own pace, climb mountains that appeal to me and not have to worry about being swayed to take a path I don’t want.
I am very confused with so much of my life. I have been alone for most of my life, being rejected by society. Yet, I enjoy the time I have alone. I enjoy thinking for myself and not making decisions based on others. I enjoy the silence and how everything I can do is within my grasp. I’ve been alone for so long that I cannot understand the mindless and ridiculous ways that most people my age live by today. Yet, when people are with their friends, they are happy and show it. I do not know if I wish for friends just to have happiness just like this or for the need to be accepted. I have many friends online and I’m widely accepted in numerous sites. I enjoy the time I spend with them and feel good when talking with them. I don’t understand why I seek real life friends when I can not tolerate the ways many people live by today. The most recent example was an event at my college yesterday. People were playing sports with each other and having a BBQ together. When I joined in the sport, people did not take notice of me… Read more »
Wow, this is an awesome site and I just happened to stumble upon it today. I am a loner, there is no doubt about this and that is how I have been all my life, but the sad thing is that I have thought it to be wrong to be a loner, like there must be something wrong with me.
After reading some of the posts and I have come to understand that being a loner is just really the way I am. So now I feel as though I have come ‘home’ and I do hope more people who are loners find this site and learn that being a loner is a BIG blessing.
How wonderful to know that you are in the city of Perth, Australia. I myself am living in Townsville. LOL from one side of Australia to the other. Woo Hoo.
I think society confuses those who prefer to be alone, with those who are alone because they don’t have sufficient empathy to get along with others. Empathy = mental illness such as sociopathy. I really don’t have a problem with my loneness. I didn’t realize others had a problem with it till I heard my neighbor talking outside the other day saying how they don’t understand how someone can be alone so much and it isn’t natural. I laughed. For one, this person suffers from NPD so I don’t ever expect them to understand when they have to rely on the perceptions of others. Plus they don’t know that my apartment is too tiny to have visitors, and I go out for my socializing. I think loneness is a threat to others. When you don’t need the opinions and input from others, you don’t have any weaknesses. Someone not having weaknesses don’t have any threats. I truly don’t care what others think. Not in a goth/emo rebellion to society sort of mentality, but I really don’t care. But to equate the lonewolfe as not having empathy or caring about people is a misconception. At least to my friends and myself,… Read more »
Thanks for your article. I appreciated your thoughts on lonership – they certainly come closer to the mark almost all the than other information on the “sickness” of being a loner. What most people don’t understand – even many highly educated people – is that we don’t want to be cured of anything. We like who we are on our own terms and wish to remain as we are, unperturbed by those around us. Maybe a good way to define true lonership is by stating what it is not: we are not maladjusted misfits, we are not people haters, we are not frightened of other people, we haven’t been bullied into a corner, we haven’t made a vow of solitude, we are not seeking a purity that eludes others, or religious enlightenment through solitude, we are not rebels against a corrupt society. All those people exist, certainly, but they are not us. We find our own thoughts *generally* more interesting than the thoughts of others, we don’t particularly care what other people think of us, we like to take life in on our own terms, rather than trying to fit it into categories defined by others. We do not seek… Read more »
You are making such a huge mistake with this article: Confusing loneliness and lonesomeness. Loneliness is a feeling independent on how you want to feel about it, if it makes sense. If you are lonely, you can’t be happy no matter how many times you recite all types of mantras. Because loneliness is actually felt physiologically. Lonesomeness on the other hand is liking it being more on your own than with others (though still enjoying interaction, b/c in all honesty, you can try to deny it all you want but we all thrive off social interation) – which is what you are describing.
Also, you are the one that seem not to understand things quite frankly. Loneliness can be a very driving force into one’s criminal activities as loneliness brings envy, hatred, moodiness, cynicism, etc. And that’s why the world ”loner” is always emphasized.
If it’s possible to edit this article, it’d really be nice to do so. Because opinions change the world and your ”slippery” can change the world in the wrong way.