The Dark Night of the Soul is one of the most painful, isolating, and destabilizing experiences in life. Yet it is also a tremendous blessing in disguise.
As a primordial process of death and rebirth, the Dark Night of the Soul is a period in life where we are stripped of everything that is false.
The veils of illusion are torn from our eyes. We suddenly see the fragility of ourselves, other people, and existence itself.
Out of nowhere, we start asking big questions such as “What is the meaning of life?” “What happens after death?” and “Why was I born?”
The more we start to question our lives, the more deception we come across. We see the lies perpetuated by society.
We see the ways we have become wounded and behave dysfunctionally. And we may even notice a sense of emptiness inherent in our lives. Something feels missing. But what?
For many people, the Dark Night of the Soul heralds big life shifts. We may quit our jobs, leave our marriage, and seek out something more meaningful and aligned with who we truly are.
For some, the Dark Night is a call to begin the spiritual wanderer’s journey toward self-actualization, spiritual illumination (or enlightenment), and reconnecting with the Soul.
Dark Night of the Soul Questions
When people first enter this dark period of life, they often have many questions.
It can feel scary to lose interest in what you once valued and have your life turned upside down. Due to its destabilizing effect on our lives, the Dark Night is synonymous with what is known as the spiritual emergency.
Here are some commonly asked questions which might help to relax your mind a bit:
Most people who go through the Dark Night feel a sense of loneliness, isolation, anxiety, and depression. It’s common to crave solitude and quiet, comforting environments. While some describe the experience as a death and rebirth, others describe it as the feeling of disintegrating or falling through a void.
The Dark Night of the Soul is an experience that is unique to everyone (although it does share many common characteristics). For one person it may last a few months, for others, it may last a year or many years. Most importantly, please understand that this is a temporary experience, and many people can relate to what you’re experiencing. You’re not alone, although it might feel that way.
There are many ways to answer this question, but it’s crucial to understand first and foremost that the Dark Night is a natural and organic process. Just as trees go through a period of losing their leaves in Autumn/Winter, so too do we as humans (metaphorically speaking). We all go through cycles of death and rebirth – periods where we are full of life and energy and then periods where we need to slow down and go within. The Dark Night helps us to stop and tune into our inner selves. It is a process that goes hand-in-hand with the spiritual awakening process and finding our true life purpose.
Good question! Think of the Dark Night of the Soul as entering a prolonged Winter period. What comes after Winter? Spring! After the Dark Night, we emerge refreshed, renewed, and ready to walk our true life paths. This is known as the ‘Illumination‘ stage on the spiritual wanderer’s journey. In this period, we have gained clarity, wisdom, tenderness, and the ability to tune into ourselves thanks to the Dark Night period. These qualities we then bring into our lives. It’s quite common to start big projects, make powerful life changes, and explore our newly found gifts after the Dark Night of the Soul. It’s a blessing in disguise.
Dark Night of the Soul Test
Are you experiencing symptoms of loneliness, isolation, depression, and soul loss? Does it feel as though you’re cut off or totally disconnected from the Divine?
If so, you may be experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul. Take our free Dark Night of the Soul Test to confirm (or challenge) your suspicions below:
What result did you get? Feel free to share your results in the comments as well as any reflections.
If you need more in-depth guidance, see our Dark Night of the Soul Journal for more help.
What has your experience during the Dark Night been like so far? I’d love to hear from you below. Your words might inspire or support someone else on this difficult journey.
I received a score above 50 points meaning that it’s likely I am going through a Dark Night of the Soul. wow where do i go from here up i hope
For context Ill explain that I have been extreme to abnormally intense or turned on full blast since literally the day I was born as if I was thrown into this world at the top of the high
point of an old wooden roller coaster . I experienced every bit of love and took every bit of pain as my own, driven like a madman to not be the reason for anyone else to feel this pain. Yin being the irony and me being the yan and oblivious but loyal solder, my intense nature was manifest through explosive objection to the actions of normal people. As a child I questioned the motives of adults with a heavy feeling of
abandonment like they just threw me on that roller coaster and walked away and their amusement to my reactions angered me so intensely I decided I would not accept the world I was seeing around me. When I say something I mean exactly what im saying and my ignorance being a colossal
vessel unsinkable by any normal social intelligent culture a
titanic that lies sunken with the foolish confidence of my
will and dedicatiin to taking people for their words because I have always seen that if someone is falsly accused of wrong doing it could destroy them and that to me is a tradgety like no other . It hurts so badly to have a social normality projected on you when your character just dose not fit the context of the time or place in that you live, people make blame and accusations like gods at the bow of invading ships will little regard for the bystander. Blinded by arrogant folk lore justified by religious agenda, the call of patriotic propaganda and the facade of progress handed to me in the forms of my grade school home works and information to carry home . This was s typical lune of thought for me as a young child. Every day was like a lifetime of ups and downs and somehow still finding a way to insignificance.
My intuition as a teen and young man was blind faith. I put my hands behind my back and my heart exposed and aware of it. I wanted to be a random happenstance to show an artistic appreciation to the creator To be able to walk away with the life I was gifted not taking anything away from anyone else i was content in simple life I was finding huge mountains of love And connection in just having a chance to capture a moment of something real something nigger than everyone a place where people have no place, or selective identifiers, just a desire to be exactly where they are right now no wondering what else or where else they could be no Ideas of a when else your only true self is not the billions of yourselves you see in daydreams of your past in witch you can just rewrite as much as your fellow sailors allow before calking bullshit on you but sitting down with strangers will manifest grande hero and magnificent events of my past.
Even your own dilutionS dilute your perceptions of self when mortality in s still just another cruel child trying to blend into the crowd letting you address the unknown with the tools you happened to fasten into a paradigm the truth you hsd no choice but to create because creation is on full blast from the miment your eyes open and you begin to scream at the top of yiur lungs snd tge fact that you can scream instantly fascinates you and you meet your mother seconds later a love so huge you will never have the guts to understand it nor the soul to live with out it but your going to have to let it all go right now and have blind faith in the function or die and opt out n before creating a paradigm of the random chance that you just landed in.
This is me right now 47 years later and alone living in a broken car in the cold pacific northwest usa i have been fighting cancer for 7 or 8 years or more so the aftermaths of cancer treatments and a most inner reflective isolation if you want the due credits of a spiritual campaign . Yousee cancer is ehat it took to suggest I pay attention too a perpose my determination would not allow me to see. My intense mature to be real to feel to care to be fair to be objective was all a fucking facade un my little boy anger and fear of loosing loved ones and desires to be accepting and open I was all but that. I had money freinds hobbies talents in arts music sports and an ignorant perception of accomplishment’s when my self was under the spells of a typically romantic ego so convincing of its agenda and driven like a parasit e now a foggy daydream of a tale about nan I knew in my adventures at sea and battles about the shores of glory and the tears of fallen kings and of courting newly available princess fora celebration of indulgent entitlment. Never mind careless nights of drunken disregards of a people deserving of respect or honor we have come and cancelled it on the great terms of our humane collaboration of advancing a proper society or something and whatever else the tale required to conclude with me as a great hero and humble player in this act 3 of a play wright of a scoundrel of a man who beggs your forgivness for leading you to any false Understandings but to be fair to your reasons to be here I hope its entertained your imagination because its the author of the tale your penning for your audience to be am I wrong ?
Let me apologise for this epic mess of script, im using an apple pencil to hopefully aide m e in using an ipad formedical recovery limitations.
And more over let me thank you for the absolute miracle your creating from your far away magical gift that is acting as an answer to my screams to the universe to please comfort me just a little before the pain overwhelms me to a point of losing my desire to create and experience love. My dark night has been longer than most and I am faithful to the reasons why, so hard headed men like myself take extra ordinary measures to conceptualize bigger ideas after all , creation is a huge undertaking of responsibility for overactive imaginations and romantic megalomaniacs..
thank. You so much for your work again BJH
I just flat out feel like I’ve been rejected by God. That sounds a bit bleak, but I’m not sure how else to say it. I’ve dabbled in different spiritual systems for about a decade, but I just started a proper daily practice about a year or so ago. Synchronicity and encouragement were around every corner. Then it was like a door slammed shut. I always knew this would eventually happen- that I would be tested. But that isn’t what this feels like. It feels like I’m being told I’ve already failed.
Thank you for this blog. Reading it was very encouraging.
Chris that is sort of how I feel, like there is a big black hole & I fell in it & I do not know how to get out.
Hi,
My Darkness Of The Soul has been emerged recently (or should I say “I recently got the awareness of it”?) after my marriage breakup.
As painful as the breakup is, I kept feeling that the pain wasn’t about the breakup, it about “something deeper”.
Years of underachieving and tolerating a life of “settling” (I settled for unfulfilling low paying jobs. I settled for “getting by” instead of aiming to thrive…) and the accumulation of this underachieving life, which, I’ll be honest was a big part of the marriage breakup is what opened my eyes to My Darkness Of The Soul.
I’m currently in the midst of the Darkness and it’s not pleasant, but necessary.
I’ve lost years through settling, my underachieving behavior cost me my marriage. Working through the Darkness will make the rest of my life better.
A least I hope.
I experienced a spiritual awakening when I went through many tramatic events , knowing myself very well I refused to allow any evil thoughts of hatred , anger, or revenge into my heart I reached out to GOD with all of my heart & soul & GOD lifted me up & I was shown many things , parts & places of my life that I had totally forgotten about & was led to help as many other people as I possible could in JESUS NAME
As I began to embark on this very important journey I was able to release all of those negative emotions very slowly ( about 2 yrs )
Im aware that I’m now entering a new part of this journey which is exciting & yet a little scary of the unknown so I’m just concentrating on building my strength & fortitude so that I will be ready when I get there ✌️
The last 2 years, loss of my uni degree, my career, my home, one child moved put as I can’t look after them without help. Due to the pandemic I felt like a lost my identity, I have had no solid ground and cannot see the future what so ever. I got another job completely contrast from what I was doing. It’s not fulfilling but pays the bills, i went for a job interview today trying to find another job in the field I love with a non discrimatory employer.. ill find out tomorrow. Also today I find out the block of units I live in in are being sold.. I’ll have to move again. I don’t know what to do? The rents are extremely expensive. I just feel like I’m constantly experiencing loss and upheaval. I feel trapped in this world and I don’t know what this place really is or who I am. I do know that I live in my own hell in my head sometimes and also sometimes bliss. I’m just so so exhausted. What am I supposed to be doing? I don’t have a purpose, I’m just suffering all the time in society. I know this sounds depressing, but who am I? I’ve forgotten. I feel complete devastation.
I can so relate…You not alone. You have said everything I have been feeling and going through the last two years. Finally I know the reason and it’s so relieving there is end in sight.
I have been going through this for years,it started in a year time frame in 2016 2017,i lost my fiance,the child i help her raise since infancy as my own and my beloved father in a years time,at my depths my candle in the darknessfound me,Ivette,alas not to be a partner but an angel a savior,then 2years later,i fell pray to a covert malignant narcissist for three years,barely escaping with insanity to follow,and thats wher am now
YES, I HAVE PASSED THROUGH THE DARK NIGHT OF MY SOUL, I’VE BEEN THROUGH THE TUNNEL, THE PAIN, THE DARKNESS, WHY, HOW, WHO, OF IT ALL. I’VE ARRIVED ON THE OTHER SIDE. ALL IS WELL NOW, NO MATTER WHAT I FACE, I WILL PREVAIL. I HAVE MET MY FEMINE AND MASCULINE SIDES, I NEED THEM BOTH. LIFE IS NO LONGER A MYSTERY. I KNOW WHO I AM, WHOSE I AM, WHERE I’VE BEEN, WHERE I’M HEADED. ALL IS WELL WITH MY SOUL. I ACCEPT MYSELF THE GOOD THE BAD THE UGLY, ALL APART OF ME. I’M HEADED HOME, BACK TO MY CREATOR WHO GRACED ME WITH HIS BREATH OF LIFE.
I undertook this initiation 50 years ago . I took the previous ones ( 2nd & 3rd ) over 2 years prior. .( the 3rd was interesting, enlightenment was a real experience, every thing was Logical. )
I am sure that I completed he 5th Initiation where I accepted allegiance to the Higher Authorities , My Target was the 7th Initiation BUT I was prevented from fulfilling it ?? I had to return to the World I had left ! I was no longer fit to exist there , NO EGO . the adjustment took many years to lead a NORMAL life ???
It would appear that I have some important tasks to complete before I expire . best be quick as I am 80 now,
well that,s my story . you will probably throw this in the bin, don,t blame you
you have just inspired me to continue to keep going and accept each step as I go forward that I will get there, I started this journey 35 years ago I will be 67 at the end of this month. we are all student of our own life. I had many starts & stops because life and responsiblities got in the way of truly using all I had learned. They say we never stop learning.
Thank you Peter
Denice
My life has been very traumatic on all levels with So many traumatic events I’m 51 now I’ve been referred to as the fix all was naturally gifted with my hands always felt. I’ve always felt alone (never understood) my personality heal others mentally very exhausting mentally A magnet for negativity. Draining from absorbing and all the fundamentals of life made me a very angry hateful and addicting with all the programming the ego their whole lot more I could say but I’ll get to my experience I had. It got that I could no longer heal myself /anger /anxiety/depression etc.my soul was tired no relenting of life that /this happened just over 2 years this where seams I lost my ego every thing changed how I felt no anxiety no anger depression empty every thing was different. But don’t feel like missing my soul I actually feel relieved I’m starting to feel peace inside it’s weird I don’t care about money I don’t care about a big job I don’t care about property I don’t care about Material objects I have no more fear but I have a strong desire that I want to go home I don’t fit hear in this time I’m still trying to understand I’ve learn all this alone the whole time I’m trying hard remove all negative I have keep myself in check that way I stay positive and don’t absorb negativities their more I could share but this probably good thank you for listening