The only way to get over the pain is to face it, embrace it, hug it and learn the lessons embedded within it.
โ Adele Theron
All of us, in some way or another, have experienced the stab of rejection, betrayal, neglect, bullying, and even humiliation at the hands of another.
But at what point does being emotionally hurt turn into becoming emotionally traumatized?
What is Emotional Trauma?

Emotional trauma occurs when you are exposed to a situation that is so extreme (e.g., horrendous betrayal from a loved one, the suicide of someone, etc.) that the body, heart, and mind struggle to handle the intense emotions that come with such a shocking experience.ย
As a result, the body-mind system tends to enter a freeze state, which is characterized by feelings of numbness, dissociation from reality, and the sudden or eventual appearance of intense symptoms like chronic anxiety, depression, addictions, PTSD, or other life-disrupting patterns.
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Emotional trauma can also happen due to ongoing situations, such as being bullied, being trapped in an environment (such as in childhood) in which your sense of self-worth was destroyed or diminished, being repeatedly betrayed, treated cruelly, judged negatively, made fun of, and so on.ย
Experiencing abandonment trauma as a child is also a widespread form of emotional trauma.
Four Components of Trauma
Trauma is not what happens to us. But what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.
โ Peter A Levine, PhD
According to psychotherapist and pioneer of Somatic Experiencingยฎ, Peter Levine, there are four aspects of trauma that will be present, in some way, in all traumatized people:
- Hyperarousal (i.e., being overly alert and on guard)
- Constriction (i.e., tense body)
- Dissociation (i.e., disconnection from the here and now)
- Freezing (immobility), associated with the feeling of helplessness
Iโll be using these four components of trauma as a basis for the emotional trauma test below.
Emotional Trauma, Inner Work, and Spiritual Wellbeing
Discovering our level of emotional trauma is a crucial part of inner work, which is:
โฆ the psychological and spiritual practice of diving deep into your inner self for the purposes of self-exploration, self-understanding, healing, and spiritual transformation.
{What is Inner Work?}
When we work to heal, resolve, or integrate the emotional trauma we carry, a tremendous amount of inner energy is freed up which allows us to grow and blossom in unimaginably beautiful and profound ways.
Healing emotional trauma, therefore, is a vital part of our awakening journeys of Soul Work as spiritual wanderers.
We often embark on this healing quest in stages five and six of the spiritual wanderer’s journey.
Emotional Trauma Test
Healing doesn’t mean the pain never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.
โ K. Salmansohn
The free emotional trauma test below isnโt meant to โdiagnoseโ you in any way. Itโs simply a tool you can use to shed more light on your inner landscape.ย
Please use this test simply as a doorway to introspection and further action, not as a set-in-stone analysis of your character or what happened in your life.ย
Whatever result you get is not the absolute truth, and if you feel like itโs wrong, that is totally fine, because it might be!
Trust in your gut and your inner knowing above all else โ this test only attempts (in an imperfect way) to provide you with some potential insight and healing pathways.ย
If, at any point, you feel uncomfortable during the process of taking this test, please step away, seek out support, grounding, and centeredness immediately. Only return to this test when you feel safe inside.
What did you get?
If you’re comfortable, I welcome you to share your results in the comments. You never know who might feel comforted by your words or presence.
Need more help? See my popular Self-Love Journal and Inner Child Work Journals if you’d like some compassionate support for working through these wounds.
High level of emotional trauma = correct
My test results is low emotional trauma I think is because I learn from Luna and Sol material in different topics and a lot of practicing from their material
Thank you Nurse, we’re happy to know what we’re putting out there is helping others in their healing journey ๐
I tried to test but something malfunction and I didn’t get a result. I guess the test has emotional trauma! lol
I’ll try again later.
Dear Aletheia,
This test arrived just at the right time, I decided on a whim to do it first thing on waking today and as a result, had the best day in a long, long time. For this I thank you. Having confirmation that I suffer from a high level of emotional trauma comes not as a surprise but as a liberation, an absolution, a vindication. I am so glad my symptoms are all tied in together and this gives me the beginning of clarity. Iโll try not to go on for too long but letโs say I am at the big crossroad of being financially able to retire, and yet this has thrown up more problems than not.
My Mum and last DNA-linked relative passed away 2 years ago. Prior to that I was widowed twice and since remained firmly single. I have no children or siblings (sister deceased too), and having settled in England not France my home country, I miss France but canโt find the courage to rebuild bridges involving travelling on my own with no relative to visit. I have become hyper socially anxious and canโt face group activities of any kind, the whole group dynamics thing repels me. More recently I started feeling the same about one-to-one friendships, the same claustrophobia, the same paralysis. I canโt bear to engage with anyone whatsoever. Carrying on working is my one and only method of daily checking with the outside world that I havenโt got completely insane. As long as someone pays me to do something I must still be OK even though I know I already went mad long ago.
I gained a pinpoint of clarity from reading your wonderful articles. I discovered a shadow called โThe Favouriteโ. The Favourite demands that not only I keep working but also keep being Top of The Class, Teacherโs Pet, Best at Everything, Head above the Rest, and as soon as the new โbest thingโ comes along (or appears to), my world comes crashing down around my ears. I know the childhood origins of this. And yet I am still having screaming matches with โThe Favouriteโ. This slow realisation has helped me to gently start peeling off the sticky tape that keeps me glued into position, but I have a long way to go. I have reduced my working hours but the next step is to reduce my emotional investment whilst on duty.
I have ordered the Self Love Journal and will be very interested in your Warrior work when it comes out. As ever, thank you so much for your love.
Marie-France ๏ปฟ๐๏ปฟ
Thank you for your insightful and thoughtful comment, Marie-France. It’s a pleasure to connect with you as always ๏ปฟ๐๏ปฟ I can relate to that feeling of social anxiety as I went through a big period of it for about ten years. Even walking down the street became maddeningly anxiety-provoking to me, as if eyes were watching me everywhere. I see that experience now as a call to go inwards, a cry from a deeper part of me (the wounded inner child, the orphan, the critic) to be witnessed in self-love and compassion. It takes time, but this pain can be worked through. And thank you for sharing a bit about your shadow, ‘The Favorite.’ I find that naming these parts helps them to not become so enmeshed in our consciousness, don’t you think?
With love and best wishes ๐บ
Dear Aletheia, I am humbled at your understanding and kind reply. It feels so good to know another human being has felt โ feels โ those feelings. Yes, naming the Shadows is a huge help. We can externalise, give them a face, and walk with the โDarker Onesโ without feeling threatened by them. With much much love๏ปฟ๐๏ปฟ
Beautifully expressed Marie! Lots of love to you ๏ปฟ๐๏ปฟ
Thanks, I got high level of emotional trauma. It’s true. It means most environments are unsafe for me to be vulnerable, so I’m often alone. I’ve only found one group that feels ‘safe’ so far. It’s hard connecting to my inner child. I am so disconnected from them…
Well i guess I should take this as a sign to go easy on myself. I’m so unwell lately.
Sadly therapy is a 50/50, grounding and meditation doesn’t really work, as they don’t really resonate with me anymore… I guess reaching that inner child and letting them be free could help?
I actually enjoy going out by myself more than even therapy
Why not focus on what makes you feel good (connected, joyful, present, calm) rather than what others suggest? Maybe date nights with yourself or excursions with your inner child. :) After all, healing is not a one-size-fits-all thing. Much love to you Lala ๏ปฟ๐๏ปฟ
Thanks, this is a good suggestion. Lately advice just leaves me feeling deflated. I will make a note of your suggestions on activities I can do to make my inner child and self feel better. Thanks for your support and I wish you a lovely day too
I received High Level of Emotional Trauma… I was prepared for this mentally, but not emotionally. I sobbed when I read each category out loud to my husband. He just kept nodding his head. It hurts… and it hurts bad. I thought I was doing okay as I was in therapy and had mostly controlled, under meditation and whatnot. I’m not sure what my next steps should be, as I no longer have a therapist, as he told me that it was basically all in my head… I may need to do inner child work, but I know for sure my inner teenager is really upset and angry (I was abused physically/mentally/emotionally by my father, who to this day will tell you it was all made up. I feel stuck and lonely.
Being gaslighted by your therapist, someone you’re meant to trust is such a terribly wounding experience and a betrayal of confidence, too. My heart goes out to you Cassie. I definitely recommend starting with self-love before inner child work, to give you a strong foundation of trust so that your inner child feels secure with you. If you ever feel the pull to go back to therapy, I strongly recommend looking for ‘trauma-informed’ therapists โ internal family systems therapy is one of my favorite and most preferred approaches, so do look that up. Wishing you love and healing ๏ปฟ๐๏ปฟ
I did the test, remembering how I felt for decades up to around 4 years ago. The test revealed a high level of emotional trauma, which is/was true. My husband is a covert narcissist, and it took this long to put a name to the emotional abuse I was living in. Understanding and being able to put a name to the situation and his questionable behavior allowed me to learn how to deal with it and truly heal. He doesn’t like it, but his abuse is now like water off a duck’s back.
Practicing about 90% of your mentioned nurturing avenues for healing did help to heal mentally and to practice good boundaries.
You’ve come so far Marlene ๏ปฟ๐๏ปฟ
I got “high level of emotional trauma”, which I already knew but thought I’d made some headway with my therapist. I am still working on/through it. I have learned a lot of healthy coping skills and also developed a spiritual practice, which I do every morning before anything else. That one piece of advice from this article is spot on, for me. My therapist has suggested Inner Child work, which I think is also a good idea.
Inner child work helped me with some of my deepest wounds, and it’s still vitally important to my psychospiritual practice. I wish you the same healing. ๏ปฟ๐๏ปฟ
Medium emotional traumaโThe results were 150% accurate
I’m glad you resonated so much with this Simone! ๏ปฟ๐๏ปฟ
I got stuck on the last question.
I am not capable of handling the situation of the unknown, not capable of countering a stronger more capable force, naive in the face of greater experience, and left abandoned alone and wanting.
Sounds like your inner child might need some caring reassurance. It’s normal to feel this way ๏ปฟ๐๏ปฟ