I want to share with you one of the most beautiful experiences that I’ve ever had.
It occurred two days ago as I was sitting down quietly, listening to the sounds of the night. As I looked up at the white walls and ceiling encircling me, I was suddenly overcome with a strange sense of “waking up” from a very long and intricate dream that I had been taking part of for my entire life.
Sol – who was in the room with me – seemed to merge with me so there was no “me” or “him,” there was no “self” or “other,” just an inexplicable vastness, an endless wholeness. For those few moments, everything was an expression of perfection and underneath all that I saw was an infinite stillness and silence; a purity of unity.
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And it was in that moment that everything I have ever looked for, everything I have ever intuitively sensed and desired, was fulfilled.
Here’s what I have taken away from that experience to share with you:
Our Quest to Build the Ideal Self
When we begin our spiritual journeys of inner growth, we discover many things about ourselves, other people and the world.
We uncover the lies we tell ourselves and others, the lies the world tells us, we work on exploring our personalities, we work on improving our personalities, we heal our wounds, we try to make peace with ourselves, we try to make amends with others … and many more things that go hand-in-hand with the cultivation of self-awareness, self-discovery, self-understanding and self-transformation. These are all very useful practices.
Eventually, we develop a pretty good understanding of ourselves – of our flaws and strengths, of our core wounds and shadow elements and of our true dreams and gifts. We nourish our bodies, change our diets, create healthy personal boundaries, cut away toxic habits, say goodbye to destructive people, build new friendships and relationships, and eventually develop love and respect for who we think we are. This is all imperative.
And yet … we always feel as though something is missing in our lives.
We still work to pursue creating an “ideal self,” that always feels happy, that never suffers and that is constantly at peace. We still work to build and enhance our identities, whether through identifying as vegans, as yogis, as empaths, as intuitives, as Buddhists, as healers, as spiritual students or teachers, as Old Souls, as shamans, as eco warriors, and as any of the other hundreds of identity labels we love to collect and embody.
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And yet … we are never happy. We always seek more – we always seek to “be” more. Our quest is never-ending. We think that we can “defeat” the mind by using the mind … but have you ever questioned the validity of this? Have you ever asked yourself the following question:
“Will I ever be enough?”
Will You Really Ever “Be Enough”?
The question may seem absurd: “Of course I am enough!” you might think as I once did. “I am a smart, attractive, intelligent, kind and loving person – of course I am enough!”
Yes, yes you are. And to achieve this kind of self-respect is an important part of the growth process away from self-hatred to self-love.
But there comes a time after you have cultivated self-love and self-respect where you come to realize something miraculous:
You will never be enough because who you “think” you are is not truly “who” you are.
All of the memories, all of the beliefs, all of the associations, all of the spiritual and worldly labels, all of the tastes, all of the traumas, all of the loves and hates, all of the insecurities and strengths, they are not truly “who” you are.
And no matter how highly you regard yourself, no matter how popular, liked, celebrated, or lovable you are – your identity remains as a burden; a barrier that prevents you from the purest self-realization which is that you are an expression of Oneness. Your true nature has no name, no form, no identity, no limits. You are everything and nothing at the same time.
6 Powerful, Paradigm-Shifting Questions
Six of the most powerful questions you can ever ask yourself in any moment are to do entirely with who you “think” you are. They include the following:
- Am I this emotion?
- Am I this thought?
- Am I this physical sensation?
- Am I this circumstance?
- Am I this body?
- Am I this personality?
At first these question might sound strange, overly simplistic, and even bizarre. But the more self-aware you become of your thought processes which give birth to your feelings, perceptions, assumptions and beliefs about the world, the more you will come to see how closely you identify with all of these six elements.
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When I first started asking these questions, I was immediately uncomfortable and unwilling to completely follow through all the way to the end with such self-inquiry. I thought, “If I’m not this emotion, thought, physical sensation, experience, circumstance, body and personality because they are all transient and subject to growth, change and decay … what am I?”
My conclusion was, “I am none of these things – I am nothing!” And because of my dark and miserly associations with the word “nothing,” I have neglected to ask these questions seriously.
But I have recently experienced otherwise. I have discovered the truth which is that being “nothing” is paradoxically being everything. Being empty of your fabricated identity is paradoxically being completely full and whole again. Far from being desolate and void, being “nothing” is existing in a state of immense rest, of endless peace and profound liberation.
Once you investigate the true depths of the question, “Who am I?” you come to a fascinating realization: “you” are not who you think you are, what you assume you are, what you have been taught you are, or what you have come to believe you are, and you never have been. Why? Because all of these things are temporary, passing and transient.
For the soul experiencing a spiritual awakening, this opens the final door to liberation; from the belief of “I am this or that,” to the realization of “I am.”
***
If you would like to experience the reality that you are not who you think you are, if you would like to experience spiritual Oneness, I encourage you to make a habit out of asking the six questions above. Bring them into your meditation practice each day, and see what happens.
At first you may feel bored, tired, even annoyed by the practice. But with time, with self-discipline, you’ll come to truly and deeply understand and embody your True Nature.
May you awaken. May you grow. May you taste truth.
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I am interested in buying the books you have written.I do not benefit much from reading about your course online.Please make it possible for me to have a copy of The Spiritual Awakening Process and other reading material related to it.I hope this will not be a difficult task for you.I thank you in advance.
I’m so confused. I experience deep depression on an almost everyday. I don’t have the desire to do anything yet I’m miserable and want to have the desire. I dont know how to express this state of stuck. I have a wonderful man in my life that is tortured by my lethargy. He continues to love me and be by my side. I depend on him a lot to an unhealthy level. I feel lost. I dont know what to do. I often this k of ending my life but I know that it’s not right. I’m financially a mess. I can’t even afford to buy the books you suggest . if i dont keep this short I fear I may change my mind about reaching out.. Im stuck. I dont even know if this is the thing to do. Pray for me. I’m conflicted. Thank you.
I grin a little as I write this, but for some, they need to hear it. I challenge everyone to take it one step further and answer those questions on behalf of others you engage with. Are they this emotion? Are they this thought? Are they this belief or body? Take it one step further. Then, even when someone is screaming at you and trying to convince you that you are the enemy – they can’t. You can sit in the quiet stillness knowing truth. That is how we bring healing to others. We allow them the space to feel, say and do with no reaction from our lower self, which could potentially only entangle them more. Love.
Didn’t God of the Old Testament say I Am who I Am. It occurs to me that what you ascribe to oneness (with the divine) can be found everywhere in the Bible for example it’s no longer I that liveth but Christ that lives in me, unless one is born from the spirit he cannot enter the kingdom of heaven, the whole earth groans as if in birth pains for the revelation of the Sons of god, man is made in my image the image of god. Where does the Bible fit in your experiences of wholeness.
it’s like i typed it
thank you, much needed ❤️
It is as if I’ve written this stuff myself! But I only discovered spirituality the other day! I am – everything ! I belong here! Thank you
I’ve accepted the uncomfortable truth that we invent stories about ghosts and heaven because “we” must go on, but all we are is a collection of DNA from our predecessors. It’s impossible the stubbornness I inherited, because my mother happened to be stubborn, will inhabit some afterlife. I get how extinguishing the light of an ant is pretty similar to extinguishing our own light. None of that brings me peace. It makes me feel even more isolated and apathetic and resentful of those making this life so needlessly horrible (“build a wall!”). I’m been searching and searching unsuccessfully for some kind of bridge between truth and fulfillment. I’ve been looking up things like “spirituality for atheists” (ha ha) with no luck. I need to “click in” to something. I get I’m a water drop and there’s an ocean, but I still fee disconnected. Does this make sense? If so, any ideas?
Thank you for this! I’ve felt so lost and in pain being so glued to my feelings. This was exactly what I needed to read.
When I adk these questions and feel my inside I arrive at feeling void, empty space,
Is that what I am? I cant understand that space. How can I exist there? It is just empty. Liberation you say, I dont understand how emptiness can be liberating.