As poet Walt Whitman once wrote, “I am large, I contain multitudes.”
There’s a reason why this simple yet beautiful verse has reverberated across history: it contains immense truth. We all contain multitudes.
We’re all a divine amalgamation of water and fire, soul and spirit, yin and yang.
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Ultimately, when we can look deeply into the nature of everything within us, we can see that all human beings contain two types of energy: that of the feminine and masculine.
In psychology, these two polar opposite forces are known as the Anima and Animus.
What’s fascinating is that both Eastern and Western teachings promote the need to connect with, explore, and balance each of these seemingly polar inner forces to find true equilibrium and wellbeing.
Perhaps even more important than finding a sense of overall balance, learning how to connect with the feminine (Anima) and masculine (Animus) face of the Soul is a crucial part of the spiritual awakening journey.
Table of contents
What is the Anima and Animus?
First coined by famous psychiatrist Carl Jung, the terms “Anima” and “Animus” refer to the indwelling masculine and feminine energies that we all possess.
Specifically, the anima is thought to be the feminine part of a man’s Soul, and the animus refers to the masculine part of a female’s Soul. Both the anima and animus are ancient archetypes (or raw forms of energy) that every being contains.
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Let’s explore these parts of us more in depth:
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The Anima Explained
Derived from Latin meaning “a current of air, wind, breath, the vital principle, life, soul,”ย the Anima refers to the unconscious feminine dimension of a male which is often forgotten or repressed in daily life.ย
As it’s generally considered taboo to embrace one’s inner female side as a man in patriarchal society, men often fail to fully embody and embrace this fundamental energy within their Souls. Sadly, if a male does embrace his Anima, he is often criticized as being “a wimp,” “a sissy,” “a pussy,” and other derogatory names.
However, in the perspective of psychology, in order to fully step into a mature masculine role, a man must go on a quest to explore this inner Divine Feminine energy. In other words, he must unite with the other half of his Soul.
Often, this quest results in some sort of projection, that is, trying to find the ideal lover or soulmate in the form of another idealized person. But he can never embody the Anima through another person โ only through his own concerted efforts.
The key realization here is that he must find this force within himself, rather than disown it onto another.
As described by Jungian Psychologist Dan Johnston, the man who has connected with his feminine Anima displays “tenderness, patience, consideration and compassion.”ย
However, repression of the female element within males often results in a negative Anima that emerges as personality traits such as “vanity, moodiness, bitchiness, and sensitivity to hurt feelings.”
Indeed, a man who has failed to embody his Anima also tends to fall prey to emotional numbness and toxic masculine traits such as aggression, ruthlessness, coldness, and a purely rational approach to life.
The Animus Explained
The Animus, which is a Latin word that means “the rational soul; life; the mental powers, intelligence,” is the unconscious male dimension in the female psyche.ย
Due to societal, parental, and cultural conditioning, the Animus, or male element within the woman, is often inhibited, restrained, and suppressed (just as the Anima is within men).ย
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However, the Animus isn’t always repressed โ sometimes, it is actually over-emphasized and forcefully imposed upon women. Take Western society for example. Here we have a culture that ruthlessly imposes toxic masculine ideals such as workaholism, productivity, emotional numbness, and ruthlessness as ways to excel and succeed in life.
All of these external elements can contribute towards a negative Animus, which can reveal itself in a woman’s personality through argumentative tendencies, brutishness, destructiveness, and insensitivity.ย
However, integrating a positive Animus into the female psyche can result in assertiveness, levelheadedness, objectivity, and rationality.
Becoming Whole = Reclaiming the Inner Feminine and Masculine
In the mind of Jung โ who derived many of his thoughts and teachings from Eastern Philosophies โ in order for a person to be whole through the process of “Individuation” (i.e., inner evolution), a person must encounter, and work to embrace, their internal Anima or Animus (or Feminine and Masculine energy).
As Jung goes on to explain, the process of this becoming whole (or Individuation) can be described as:
… becoming an โin-dividual,โ and, in so far as โindividualityโ embraces our innermost, last, and incomparable uniqueness, it also implies becoming oneโs own self. We could therefore translate individuation as โcoming to selfhood,โ or โself-realization.โ
Thus connecting with our inner male or female energy โ the “other half” of our Soul โ is essential for the development of self-awareness and understanding, which are important components of inner work and deep spiritual growth.
Soul Loss and the Anima / Animus
Perhaps one of the biggest signs that we’re disconnected from the “other half” of our Soul is a feeling of lethargy, aimlessness, loneliness, and overall unease.
This malaise is what I call Soul Loss, and it emerges when we’re so rigidly stuck in one mode of being (either yin/feminine or yang/masculine), that we can’t access the fullness of our sacred wild True Nature.
The longer we’re operating from this limited, one-dimensional place, the more likely we are to fall into a crisis of some kind like the Dark Night of the Soul whose function is to essentially “shake us to awaken us.”
But we can lessen the likelihood of experiencing such an extreme crisis if we learn to embrace the fact that we are multi-faceted beings and ‘retrieve’ the lost side of our Soul.
Nothing to Do With Your Sexuality or Gender Identity
Before we explore how to reconnect with the other side of our Soul, I want to highlight something important.
Connecting to your inner Anima or Animus does not require you to become homosexual, lesbian, or possess a non-binary/trans identity, as some might think.ย And if you identify with either of these sexual orientations or identities, it doesn’t require you to become heterosexual or cisgender/binary either.ย
Why?ย
The Anima and Animus energy within us has nothing to do with sexuality or gender identity. Instead, it’s all about creating balance.
In essence, what we’re striving for is to balance the opposites within us to create a sense of Wholeness. In other words, what we’re practicing is a living form of spiritual alchemy. The point isn’t to give up your sexual preference or identity, but to become a more mature human being.
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How to Connect With Your Anima or Animus
So how can we connect with the inner Divine Feminine (Anima) or Divine Masculine (Animus)?ย Here are some suggestions:
For Males – Connecting to the Anima
Connecting to the Anima for males is about getting in touch with the inner feminine energy which manifests itself as passivity, sensitivity, and emotionality.ย Suggestions for getting in touch with your Anima include the following:
- Practice the art of listening with concern and compassion
- Rediscover your passionate side through romantic gestures
- Take care of/nurture something (like a plant, lover, or animal)
- Practice thoughtfulness and consideration of the needs of others
- Express your inner Anima creatively, e.g., music, art, sculpture, poetry, dance
- Practice mindfulness, meditation, and other ways to get in touch with, and understand your emotions
- Expand your hobbies or interests to incorporate feminine energies in your life
- Practice self-love and self-care
- Find a historical female figure (or male with a strong Anima) who you admire and use them as a role model
*You can also read our article on the Divine Feminine for more guidance.*
For Females – Connecting to the Animus
For females, connecting to the inner Animus is about understanding masculine energy which manifests itself in an active, dominant, and logical way.ย Suggestions for getting in touch with your Animus include the following:
- Practice assertiveness
- Adopt a role or position that puts you in authority
- Learn to take charge of something in your life
- Discover and develop your leadership abilities
- Read non-fiction instead of purely fiction
- Become more self-sufficient and self-reliant
- Learn masculine skills, (e.g., fixing car problems, learning to use a drill, fix broken appliances, etc.)
- Gain more emotional balance by practicing mindfulness, meditation, and self-exploration
- Find a historical male figure (or female with a strong Animus) who you admire and use them as a role model (see my archetypes article for more guidance)
*You can also read our article on the Divine Masculine for more in-depth guidance.*
For Those Who Don’t Identify With Either Gender
If you don’t identify as either male or female (e.g., non-binary/genderqueer individuals), try working with the type of energy that you feel most estranged from or uncomfortable with.
For example, if you struggle to connect with yang energy, focus on connecting with the Animus face of your Soul (and vice versa with yin/Anima energy).
If you don’t feel particularly disconnected with either, choose any you like! You might even like to work simultaneously with both energies, and journal about your discoveries to keep a record of your journey.
For Masculine Women and Feminine Men
Obviously, not all women possess traditional feminine energy, and not all men possess traditional masculine energy. I would consider myself a more masculine-oriented woman and I’ve had many yang-type female friends who struggle to “get along” with the softer face of the yin/feminine.
If you’re a masculine-oriented woman or feminine-oriented man, my advice is simple:
- For masculine women, work with the Anima (yin) side of your Soul
- For feminine men, work with the Animus (yang) side of your Soul
Once you’ve allowed more space for yin or yang qualities to emerge within your psyche, you’ll eventually find yourself being drawn toward the opposite energy. And like a pendulum, you’ll dance between both types of energy until more equilibrium, harmony, and inner balance is reached.
Sacred Balance
The spiritual awakening journey is about finding sacred balance. When we lack a strong connection to either the masculine or feminine part of ourselves, we suffer. Remember that your Soul contains both sides. You deserve to have access to all parts of your inner Self.
Thankfully, all that is needed to get back into balance is simply observing your life and making some changes. First, ask yourself what side of the spectrum you’re leaning more toward, the Anima (feminine) or Animus (masculine)?
Second, introduce some simple changes into your mindsets and habits. For example, do you need to bring in more assertive Animus energy? Do you need to make space for patient and gentle Anima energy? Creating a balanced self is always contextual and will shift and change throughout your life.
What energy do you struggle to feel connected with? Why do you think this might be? I’d love to hear below.
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I have been reading articles from Loner Wolf. And I find their articles so healing, inspirational and meaningful. I am a big fan of Aletheia Luna and Mateo Sol. Welldone and keep up the good work. I really enjoyed this topic.
Hi,
Iโve previously been told that I carry a lot of masculine energy and need to reconnect with my feminine.
I am a woman and already do all the things that have been suggested for the males above.
I come from a line of strong women and a semi absent father.
Thank you x
hay just to get a sort of misunderstanding away here. you can not become gay you are gay. gays are not all more feminine, as i am gay but you would not know until i tell you. i have way more masculine energy than feminine energy. working on both to get more balanced . and has indeed nothing to do being gay .
I love reading your insights and love even more that after 43 years I am finally understanding why I am who I am, why I feel the way I feel, and am so peaceful in understanding my shadows, my abilities, and how I can become a better father, husband, and overall a better person. This week’s been horribly hard. Leading up to this week I have noticed A Lot of the same traits in my oldest daughter. Which, i’m not the only one because besides my wife, her guidance counselor has told her how worried she is for her because she’s an old soul who holds onto the emotions of others while hiding her own. See, she had a close friend that has committed suicide this past weekend. It is obviously devastating her, and rightfully so. I’ve been trying hard to let her speak at her own pace, and just listening to her. I give her ideas to try to ground herself, but also to find a way to release. I suggested going out into the middle of no where, getting out and scream as long and as hard as she can. She came home from practice tonight and had completely broke down. I simply walked up and held her tightly. I looked her in the eyes and told her it will be alright. I said you will never forget but in time you will be alright. I first off told her that she needs to find it in her to forgive him. Not just mentally but whole wholeheartedly. I am going to try and get her to do some breathing exercises, and meditation to help her de-stress and come to terms with herself and find the real answers, and true person she is. Some insight would be awesome! I feel like a wounded father trying to heal an even more wounded daughter.
Brad, listening to you I can’t help but feel what a wonderfully caring and empathetic father you are. You are doing your absolute best here, and in my mind, there’s not much more you can do other than simply being there for your daughter. Give her space to grieve, but also open arms when she needs the support. Throughout this process, you’ll notice yourself feeling upset and ungrounded (most likely), so practicing self-care will also help you to be more present for your daughter. I hope that helps.
If you are anything like me, you might be succumbing to the urge to do too much to help your wounded child. My son once had a dog he loved very very much. He had to put his dog to sleep. I wanted to take his pain away so very badly … but I knew I couldn’t, not really. And I knew that, for most of his pain, I shouldn’t even try. I recalled my grief when my wife passed suddenly, unexpectedly … the agony and sadness was a part of my love for her and sending it away unfelt would have blighted my soul. I knew it could be that way for my son … probably would be that way for him, a little bit at least. I did what I could: told him I loved him, hugged him when he cried and seemed to want it, stayed back when he was crying and didn’t seem to want hugging, listened when he wanted an ear, cut him a *lot* of slack when his emotions ran over. But he had to get through it himself, mostly. I made sure to pay careful attention to him and to be there when and if he asked. Other than that, I watched to make sure that the grief and sadness didn’t turn into a problem — I watched him to make sure that he wasn’t taking on undeserved guilt about putting Bear (his dog) to sleep and I watched him to make sure his sadness stayed sadness about Bear and didn’t grow into a wider depression.
I can hear that your heart is in the right place. You’re seeing that it’s hard for you to let her words come at their own pace, so you know in your heart that she’s got to be the one to *set* the pace. You’re wise enough to know that when someone is shaken or hurt, they can get confused and sometimes they hear us say something we never said … or at least that we never meant to say. When you give her ideas to ground herself, she might mistakenly hear you saying that there’s something wrong with being unsettled now. When you give her ideas on how to release some of those awful feelings, she might misunderstand you and think you’re telling her that she shouldn’t have those feelings. Or if you’re often telling her how not to hurt, she might get the idea that she’s not supposed to hurt so much when she loses someone.
It sounds like you know what to do deep down. You know that she’s going to have to figure out and experience her grief in her own way and own time. Be there when she wants you or needs you. Trust yourself that you’ve given her what she needs to make it through. Pay attention so you can catch anything that might go really wrong, like grief not going away after a long time or if she starts feeling inappropriate guilt. And if you start feeling anxious about her, or feel like you have to “fix” things, try to be patient and ask someone you trust about what’s going on before you start fixing.
I wish good luck and deep healing for you both.
Thanks again for another GREAT article, I love both of you!!
I’m a straight female and live alone so I use my masculine energy more than most (I don’t have anyone to rely on for help) and it causes me to attract very effeminate men. I have balance between the 2 energies in real life, but when it comes to online dating, it doesn’t seem to express that way.
I’ve been practicing staying in receiving mode for months now (I’m better at giving than receiving) and I’m finding that men are very unbalanced. regardless of how much energy I put in to healing, I’m still attracting unbalanced humans.
I have unconditional love mastered so I don’t hold it against anyone if they’re not progressing at the same pace as me…but WOW is it lonely LOL
Which is another reason I love this community that you’ve created, my fellow loners abound! At least we have each other in a world full of gossip and surface chatter (that I’m sure bores most of you like it does me)
Thanks again, and I’m completely open to anyone’s feedback on how to stay in my feminine when it comes to online dating. I needs me a man that’s more manly than me LOL
Cheers from Canada!
Hey Liz, thanks for connecting!
My question is: Is there any specific reason why you dislike effeminate men? I assume by effeminate you mean men who are more in touch with their feminine side (and are not necessarily gay)? I know many masculine-type women who have feminine-type male partners who are very happy โ even though to the external eye it seems strange (as the gender roles/energies are “reversed”). Is it that you just don’t find them attractive or something else?
I have been integrating and practicing with self healing and loving and caring for myself. It’s improved a LOT in my life. I am pleased with my growth and better understanding of self.
Well done, Sonya!
I’ve always been keen on Jungian psychology and self-studied Jung’s work for more than a decade. I love the practical dimension included in your article. It helps me see more clearly how I’m embodying both energies day-to-day. Thank you for the self-reflection question and meditation mandala in the inner worksheet- so practical! And it makes the inner work so much fun!
Thanks Maha! I’m glad you’re enjoying the bonus as well. :)
Thank you Aletheia, this was certainly a message from the Divine. The last couple of days I have been feeling a bit disturbed, out of balance. I did 2 things yesterday that I regret, I killed a caterpillar that I found on my parsley and I automatically washed it down the sink. It was an automatic reaction and I did it without thinking. I felt really bad afterwards. The 2nd thing I did was when I was dealing with my horse and he objected to what I wanted him to do. I automatically gave him a wee smack. I ever smack him, I felt awful all day afterwards . Although I didnโt realise it at the time I was definitely carrying too much masculine energy. This morning after meditating I picked a crystal angel card and asked what did I need to know. The card I picked was Amertrine. The crystal that helps balance Masculine and Feminine energy. I carried An Amertrine crystal with me today to remind me and felt so much more in harmony with the world. How timely was your email today. It has helped me to really understand this. I canโt thank you enough for answering my call to the Universe for advice. It really was my prayers answered. โค๏ธ
We all do things we regret. I’m so glad your prayers have been answered and you feel more aligned now Anne. โก
Interesting, could there be a link with this and what I have had with past life regression? As what I am currently and what I was in a past life are polar opposites. And while I want to understand my current gender, and know there is more to this than physical roles involved. To place this in a way I feel about it, to be a tender warrior. Embrace the tender side, while also being bold enough to protect and provide for others as well as yourself. I will look into this more now, and I like the part in which you said it is to become a more “mature human being”. Thanks for writing this article.
There might be a link Kathy. That is ultimately up to you to discover. :)
I like your mention of embracing the tender side + also being bold enough to protect – that sounds very balanced in terms of the anima/animus.
โก
I have yet to really read properly so may be jumping to conclusion- I will read it but maybe I can comment first as a gut reaction.
I love the softer side of life and the softer skills I have are far more dominant – I am a support worker, love singing esp. as a counter tenor, love art, music, nature. I can also cry sometimes as I am sensitive man. To me the feminine side within a male body makes perfect sense and do I love it – I am confused when you say a feminine side is not connected to male sexuality as it is what helps me identify as gay. and is a big part of my personality.
I agree with you Gary. Iยดve always thought that all of us have female and male sides but as a Southern European (Spanish), in my case, I didnยดt have the chance to express myself freely because of sexism and the Macho culture where Iยดm living, and as a gay man itยดs very important to feel my sensitivity.
Iยดm a music, theatre, photography, cinema and art lover in general. Animals and nature are my inspiration.
Hi Gary, thank you for sharing here. In regards to sexuality and the energy of masculine/feminine, I’m referring to the notion that this energy (masc/fem) is not bound with sexuality for most people. For some (like you), your feminine side is inextricably part of your sexual identity โ but there are also gay men who are very masculine, and straight men who are very feminine. So the concept of masculinity/femininity is very fluid and ultimately goes beyond sexuality, i.e. masculine and feminine energy is essentially genderless and sexless โ it’s just a form of energy that everyone possesses to differing degrees. I hope that makes sense?