Note: this is a contemplative blog post rather than a traditional article. As such, there’s no necessary ‘clear solution’ or 7-step-process I’m providing here. Instead, I’m just offering my thoughts and reflections in a more raw way. Enjoy. :)
—
Recently, I’ve realized that at the center of the work I’m called to do in this life is the theme of belonging and its shadow twin, outsiderhood.
Spiritual Wanderer Course:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐ "I started the Spiritual Wanderers Course a short while ago and for the first time in twelve years I have started to experience love, acceptance and compassion for myself and within myself. Thank you so much." – Vivienne S.
Feeling abandoned, alone, exiled, homeless, different, separate, cut off, outcasted, orphaned, misunderstood, neglected, and like a reject are all related to a sense of outsiderhood.
Being a lone wolf and spiritual wanderer are also direct byproducts of this aching inner feeling of loss, death of home (domicide), and existential alienation – they are a call to find home again, to find a deep sense of belonging.
These undercurrents of loss and longing don’t just run through my own life, but they also run through the lives of many, especially as more of us are cast into a sense of isolation through technology, health pandemics, social unrest, and the plethora of issues we face in this day and age.
The Deep Thinker
We need more deep thinkers in this day and age – those who are aware, alert, and carry a mischievous glimmer of maverick in their eyes, not afraid to ruthlessly question the way things are AND themselves in the process.
I see the deep thinker (and deep feeler) as yet another facet of the lone wolf and vital for the process of both inner and outer awakening.
And yet, being a deep thinker and finding a sense of belonging almost invariably butt heads with each other – we could say they’re an oxymoron, totally antithetical, for deep thought requires a certain level of aloneness.
To see clearly, you must, as the saying goes, see the forest for the trees, you must stand outside so that you have a clear view of the inside.
Dissolve the shadows that obscure your inner Light in this weekly email-based membership! Perfect for any soul seeker serious about practicing ongoing shadow work and self-love.
If you’re a deep thinker, you will almost certainly feel a sense of unbelonging, a sense of isolation, disconnection, and, at times, loneliness in this world.
At the same time, you will have a strong craving and thirst for aloneness, for in solitude you can hear yourself think. In solitude, you find freedom from the brainwashing matrix and the mind-numbing drone of societal norms.
In solitude, you find a sense of home – a feeling of clarity, peace, and awareness, aspects of your truest and deepest Nature.
Yet solitude can be both a friend and a foe, depending on how you approach this wild beast.
The Need For Togetherness AND Aloneness
In his autobiography Memories, Dreams, and Reflections, influential psychiatrist and deep thinker Carl Jung writes,
As a child I felt myself to be alone, and I am still, because I know things and must hint at things which others apparently know nothing of, and for the most part do not want to know.
Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible …
If a man knows more than others, he becomes lonely.
But loneliness is not necessarily inimical to companionship, for no one is more sensitive to companionship than the lonely man, and companionship thrives only when each individual remembers his individuality and does not identify himself with others.
When we see too deep and too much, the result is an inevitable feeling of loneliness – especially when others can’t or don’t want to see the same things that we see. When we have no socially approved or welcome outlets for sharing what we find, a result of isolation will unavoidably arise.
But Jung speaks here also of how receptive deep thinkers can be to companionship. Perhaps more than others, we don’t take it for granted.
And yet, he cautions us to not lose touch with that sense of uniqueness, even while connected to another, as true connection can only arise when there is a healthy sense of individuality.
In other words, we need togetherness and aloneness. Too much aloneness can create toxic individualism or loneliness, and too much togetherness can create enmeshment and loss of independent selfhood.
Like the yin and yang, we need both.
Finding Belonging in the More-Than-Human-World
As lone wolves and spiritual wanderers – as deep thinkers and feelers – we can’t always control how connected we feel with others.
Would you like to save this?
We'll email this article to you, so you can come back to it later!
Your information will never be shared.
Sometimes, perhaps quite often, we may find ourselves in a kind of social or spiritual desert where we cannot relate one iota with any other person in our lives.
We may feel like strangers in a strange land, maybe even like imposters, eternal foreigners, or outsiders looking in, unable to connect with others over what we hold and cherish as most important to us.
Here I want to point out that while this may be the case, there are many other avenues of connection available to us than with other human beings.
In the early nineties, cultural ecologist and philosopher David Abram coined the term “the more-than-human-world” to describe this planet that both includes humans, but also exceeds and surpasses them.
In other words, we’re not at the center of the universe, even though we’ve been raised to think so with a kind of narcissistic human-centric mentality.
There are many other aspects of life that are just as valuable as humans, such as animals, plants, habitats, and land formations.
If we cannot connect with those in our immediate surroundings, we can find a sense of comfort, allyship, and connection in the more-than-human-world.
Hiking, sitting by a stream of water, communicating with the birds outside, feeling a tree’s bark beneath our fingers, befriending local wildlife, loving our fur companions, and sensing our interconnectedness with life can be wonderfully soothing ways of rediscovering a sense of belonging.
Leave your mind on the doorstep and go exploring. Like a loyal companion, the world is waiting for you.
***
I hope you enjoyed these reflections. Perhaps you can even find yourself mirrored in them, in which case, here are a couple of questions for you to ponder:
If you’re a deep thinker, how might you find a sense of both aloneness AND togetherness? What does belonging mean to you in the more-than-human-world? I’d love to hear from you below.
If you need more help, we offer 3 powerful ways to guide you on your inner journey:
1. The Spiritual Wanderer Course: Feeling lost or uncertain about your path and purpose in life? Gain clarity and focus by learning about the five archetypes of awakening within you. Discover your deeper path and purpose using our in-depth psychospiritual map. Includes 3+ hours of audio-visual content, workbooks, meditations, and a premium test.
2. Shadow & Light Membership: Seeking ongoing support for your spiritual journey? Receive weekly intuitive guidance and learn to embrace your whole self, including your shadow side. Deepen your self-love and receive personal support from us.
3. Spiritual Awakening Bundle: Ready to soul search and dive deep? Access our complete "essentials" collection of beloved journals and eBooks. Includes five enlightening eBooks and seven guided journals, plus two special bonuses to further illuminate your path.
Hello, what a lovely article 🙂. I think you described beautifully how we can fill that sense of aloneness by looking outside ourselves, not to other humans as other people would say is the solution, but to the non-human. To me, nothing fills my soul better than the ambience of trees, freshness of clean air, sunlight on water, touch of animals, observations of little critters; any experience in greater nature. Then I can return to my human life, more able to participate than I could before. ❤️
Hello great post! I must add. Did totally relate to it. Well I must refrain I am a stranger in a strange land. First of all I am a Sirian star seed who has had 7 incarnations in the Sirius star system. Before incarnating to Su’Laria where I lived 14 incarnations. And was there at the fall of that Mars civilization before incarnating to Earth. Being that I am an authentic twin flame as well. Has left me isolated from society. And deep thinking is part of each and every day. Being unable to converse on subject material of spirituality and humanities conscious evolution. Compounded with the relentless longing for my beloved Theresa. Keeps me on a constant search for self and transformation. While living in the unrelenting chaos of societies stagnant consciousness. Where the illusion of what humankind refers to as life. Is all dominated and controlled by mister ego himself. Is relenting and frustrating. Waking up each morning and cognizing who I truly am. And unable to share with an unawakened world. Continues to leave me stranded in a strange land. We all call the matrix. Great post!
Apparently I’ve lost a longer response due to the errant touch of a fingertip on the screen of my phone… umm… have you by any chance received that “almost post”? I think likely not. So, I am obliged to re-think and re-type under a tighter sense of time restraints. My consciousness loves this topic, finding it utterly relevant to this human life and to my exasperation at the apparent insanity that is rampant in the human sphere. My mind instantly pulls up from the mental life files the quotation from Henry David Thoreau, “I know of no companion so companionable as solitude.” And immediately following, my mind adds my own little creative bit, in the name of my version of ‘standing on the shoulders of Giants’ (‘Giants’ for me are the standout liberative human thinkers/authors of recorded history, those whose solitude and stillness has produced fruits and seeds for ever deepening liberative awareness to be considered and even out into practice by successive readers and contemplatives.) My addition to Thoreau’s ‘no companion so companionable as solitude’ quotation is: ‘And solitude itself is communion.’ I am inclined to share numerous other tributaries of thought on this topic, such as considerations and… Read more »
Hi As always can totally relate to this article, as I so often have felt loneliness and used to feel very saddened by it, but since understanding more of my spiritual nature realise there are reasons for this and embrace it more. In fact the more time I spend in my aloneness the more awareness I have when out in the world. It is a shame that introverts are not respected or seen to have a high value in our society. In fact we have turned to labelling our children with all sorts of things to excuse shy introverted behaviour as if there is something wrong with them.
Instead of teaching them to embrace alone time and not needing a huge social group or followers to feel whole, liked and loved.
Thank you for putting our recent life experiences into such a wonderful description!
We found ourselves living on the edge of social acceptance after suffering an almost life ending catastrophic stroke, and choosing to leave behind the security of our known home and reaching towards survival by stimulating plasticity of brain recovery with the newness of the unknown, awakening in a new town/state/village/mountain/beach/ wilderness area often, seeking advanced methods of healing. As the humans around us chose to pre-judge, assume and fear and sneer at the visiting guests (us) in each new area, the ravens, hawks, vultures, caracaras, humbirds, rabbits, raccoons, snakes, alligators, cougars, coyotes, elk and bears welcomed us with curiosity and as comrades in survival. We felt accepted and loved.
We appreciate your truth. Keep up the great work!
“As a child I felt myself to be alone, and I am still, because I know things and must hint at things which others apparently know nothing of, and for the most part do not want to know.” – Carl Jung ———————————————————————————————————- I can relate to Jung on this point. I also ‘know things’, and the incredulous looks I get when I try to relate these ‘things’ to others shocked me at first. I never learned how to ‘hint’ when it comes to these things. I’ve been treading this path for 45+ years now, so I’ve had plenty of opportunities to pick up ‘things’. I studied with the Rosicrucian Society for 3+ years, learned a lot and it ‘turned on the lights’ upstairs! But they seemed to have an ulterior motive that does not comport to my idea of spirituality, and life in general. My fellow humans have disappointed me in their lack of knowledge when it comes to things of a spiritual nature. I’ve been in more than a few conversations where the subject of God and life in general come up. I have learned over the years to tread lightly until I get the gist of what the… Read more »
This is absolute perfection! A few months ago, I had my “geriatric evaluation.” Part of the summary of that evaluation was my “social isolation.” I expressed to my doctor that my “social isolation” was a deeply considered, thoughtful, and deliberate choice. I’m not incapable of social interaction – it’s just not part of what makes me feel whole.
Greetings , as allways , this is of highest synchronous allignment , we are all connected beyond mere comprehension , no separation nor distance. It is all obviously quite relatable on personal mutual-levels , else I would not be here sharing my own view of the world. To answer the questions: – A sense of ‘togetherness and aloneness’ will have to be individually uniquely different for every soul out-there. I am quite greatfull in the connections that I have met within the Aethernet , that bring the sense of belonging/kinship and the soul-link of experiencing within similar visions of the world. In this path of mine , I am able to balance the ‘lonesome’ wildness of my essence while also connecting with those who also share the same attractions as myself. (Though I do have to mention, there will allways be this inexplicable ‘outsider’ aura which synchronizes with my self-individuality). – Belonging in the ‘more-than-human-world’ for me, signifies to truly explore and expand our mind beyond the matrix-surface of it’s illusory veil. To reunite with nature’s flow , it’s ephemeral beauty , to recognize the Earth we are on , rekindle our cosmic roots. (As an example here , I… Read more »
What makes for un-belonging in society? What stops a person from participating in all the various things that people do? What stands out and is noticed by others as different, odd, peculiar, the outcast, the lost cause, the ones our parents told us not to associate with as we might become tainted or cohesively changed by them and be blackballed by friends and family as being just like them. What inherent traits or impediments within our makeup caused us to be framed differently and therefore not acceptable to be seen, heard, or otherwise inclusive to the call of true blue (Auzzi) Australians? The both of us can only speak as individuals (Individualism) where each of us has trod the pathway of being mentally emotionally and spiritually different. Washed in the suds of early childhood hardship which quickened our sense of survival. We were forced to perceive outside of the black box to overcome abuse, fears of abandonment, and loss of the right to be heard in our own way. So we were born and made outsiders from early youth. Refined and hardened from the start, our sensitivities were not focused or acceptable to the mindset of those days. Thus we… Read more »
I do not feel any close connection to the everyday world, its people and its concerns. These days I am more interested in trying to understand life at a different level.