Before I start, I want to clarify something.
It isnโt the Law of Attraction itself that creates intense suffering, it is our usage and interpretation of the LOA that harms us. (Try to put thatย into aย single title!)
Since the launch of the mega-popular books like The Secret in 2006, the Law of Attraction has skyrocketed in popularity. These days you can find LOA principles sprinkled everywhere over social media and in endless self-help articles aimed at helping you to โfind happiness.โ
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Although many of these memes, articles, and websites have good intentions, the majority of them misunderstand and misapply the Law of Attraction, leading to stress, anger, frustration, and sadness.
What is the Law of Attraction?
The Law of Attraction is a philosophy that is based on the simple premise that whatever you think, you attract. Therefore, if you think positive thoughts, you will โmanifestโ positive things. If you think negative thoughts, you will manifest negative things.
To an extent, this is true. What we think usually does become the reality we live in. As the trendy cliche goes, โYour vibe attracts your tribe.โ And itโs true: whatever you think, you become. Whatever you focus on generally tends to appear in your life sooner or later.
Naturally, this reality is very appealing to people because it suddenly feels like we have control! In fact, the LOA starts feeling like a magical fairy wand that we can wave and use to manifest every single one of our heartโs desires!
But hereโs where the catch comes: the moment you use the LOA to intensely manifest your desires is the moment you open the door of suffering.
Why the Law of Attraction Creates Intense Suffering
I find that focusing on manifesting is limited and exhausting since it leaves God out. It often involves a shopping list of what the ego wants to โget from the universe.โ By its very nature thatโs profoundly limited. โ Tosha Silver, Outrageous Openness
Simply type in โthe Law of Attractionโ on places like Pinterest and Facebook, and you’ll see picture after picture, and blog piece after blog piece, instructing you on how to manifest your heartโs desires.
Youโll see pictures that say things like, โBelieve you deserve it and the universe will serve it,โ โBe the energy you want to attract,โ โCreate the feeling first, then the having will come!โ โItโs OK for me to have everything I want,โ etc.
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Youโll also see blog posts entitled things like, โ7 Secrets of Manifesting Money INSTANTLY,โ โHow to Create a Vision Board That Works,โ โ6 Daily Law of Attraction Hacks,โ โHow to Design your Ideal Life With the Law of Attraction,โ โ11 Ways to Manifest Weight Loss,โ and so forth.
Can you see the overarching theme here?
The Law of Attraction has become so massively popular in the spiritual and mainstream world because it is all about get-get-get!
In fact, the Law of Attraction has become the face of what famous Buddhist teacher Chรถgyam Trungpa calls Spiritual Materialism. In other words, the LOA is being used as a way to spiritualize desire and attachment โ both of which create endless suffering.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to have more money, find your true love or achieve your goals. But when you believe all of these things will bring you the happiness you want, youโre stuck on another hamster wheel of suffering. The LOA starts to reinforce enslavement and obsession with desires rather than being a valuable tool to use mindfully. The more you try to chase and โmanifestโ things, the further you get from the truth that true happiness can be found right here, in the present moment, regardless of what you do or donโt have.
Even when you DO get what you so desperately wanted, you start fearing that it will be taken away from you! So you start clinging to, protecting, and fighting to keep what youโve been given.
Does this sound like a recipe for peace or well being to you?
What hurts the most is when your desires arenโt fulfilled, and youโre left feeling frustrated, sad, desperate, and inadequate. Youโll hear people in the spiritual community telling you that your โvibration must be too low,โ or your thoughts are not positive enough โฆ even if you have been passionately โfollowing all the rulesโ for months or even years. This, of course, further deepens your bitterness, emptiness, and feelings of being a failure.
Your Thoughts Arenโt Responsible For Everything That Happens
One of the cruelest misapplications of the Law of Attraction is towards other peopleโs suffering.
Because of our mindโs tendency to think in black or white terms, we tend to become dogmatic about certain ideas very quickly โ and this has happened with the LOA. Soon, we start believing that people who lose their children to suicide or develop cancer do so because โtheir thoughts are attracting their realityโ or โtheir vibration is manifesting these events.โ However, not only are these beliefs insanely simplistic and short-sighted, but they also express an implicit lack of empathy towards others.
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While our thoughts do have the tendency to create our reality, they are not the sole causes for certain situations in our lives. If our thinking was always 100% responsible for our reality, then we would always get precisely what we want, when we want it. (Letโs face it, this notion is precisely why people obsess over the LOA so much.)
Also, if our thinking was entirely responsible for our reality, then whenever we think negative thoughts, our lives would always take a turn for the worst. But have you ever gone into an exam and thought โIโm going to do terribly and fail,โ but later, found that you passed and did well? Have you ever gone to a job interview and thought โIโm so nervous, Iโll screw this up,โ and pictured yourself near-homeless, but received a phone call saying that youโve been hired?
The fact is that our thoughts arenโt solely responsible for our reality. Our vibration doesnโt always attract experiences that โmatch it.โ Otherwise, compassionate people wouldnโt die horrible deaths, and cruel people wouldnโt live fantastic lives.
We desperately want to make the Law of Attraction explain everything in life because it makes us feel safe and like weโre in control. That is understandable. But if we truly want to experience unconditional love and inner peace, we need to admit that there are some holes in this theory. We need to find the courage to be free of ideas that are inherently limiting.
The LOA (Lust, Obsession Attachment)
As I mentioned before, the Law of Attraction (LOA) is not the problem here, itโs peopleโs use and interpretation of it that is the problem.
When used by and understood through the ego, the Law of Attraction becomes more about lust, obsession, and attachment more than anything else.
We start believing that happiness can only be found in the future when we obtain or change something. But there is a serious flaw in this philosophy.
Sure, on the surface it may be fun and exciting to finally โattractโ what we have been manifesting, visualizing, and creating vision boards about. This is equivalent to getting a shot of heroin. But afterward, when the buzz dies off, we start looking for more and more to manifest. We start viewing our lives through the lens of โwhat can I get more of?โ
Very soon, we are constantly chasing-chasing-chasing what we believe, deep down, will finally โfulfill usโ or bring us happiness. We become obsessed and addicted to a vision of what our lives โcould beโ if only we could just raise our vibration high enough and manifest all that we want.
Paradoxically, the more you try to think positive thoughts about what you want to attract, the more negative thoughts and feelings arise about how inadequate your life is or who you are as a person. In the back of your mind, you start feeling more and more anxiety, frustration, and desperation. These nagging feelings are either repressed and explode at a later date or are fought off with โpositive thinking.โ
Essentially, a war arises inside of your mind, in which you are constantly battling yourself in an attempt to get what you desire because you believe it will make you happy.
Can you see how messed up this all is? What a fiasco!
True Abundance and Happiness
As Sol and I have explored in numerous articles on this website, true abundance and happiness is not something you get, itโs something you are.
Thankfully, there is no need to give a shopping list to the Universe of all your desires, because the Universe (which is you at your core), already knows what is best for your growth and well-being. Sometimes you will be thrown challenges or things that appear โbadโ at first. But later, you will discover that they actually helped you to evolve and find true joy. Other times, you will experience โgoodโ things which may turn out to harm you, which may later help you to grow stronger. Can you see how nothing is linear? Everything is connected. And everything is perfectly orchestrated. Thereโs no need to worry.
As endless spiritual teachers and masters have pointed out through the ages, true abundance and happiness can ONLY ever be found in the present moment. Not in the past, not in the future, in the present.
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The mind and ego will try to convince us that we need special spiritual techniques to โget moreโ abundance and happiness, when in truth, all true abundance and happiness can be found within, right now. The more you chase for happiness, the more it will elude you. The more you attach, the more you suffer. The more you want, the more lacking you will feel.
If you want to explore the topic of happiness more, you might like to read the following articles:
- 3 Personal Responsibility Tips for Health, Happiness and Deep Inner Vitality
- Instead of Chasing Happiness, Search the Darkness
- Why Am I Unhappy?
- How to Love Yourself More (Even When Others DONโT)
So tell me, what are your thoughts on the LOA? Please share below in the comments.
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After reading through the comments I can definitely relate to what a lot of them are saying. I feel the biggest problem with the LOA craze is that it is being taught by humans, who have egos. I believe in the LOA, because I know when Iโm being negative about something and really like wallowing in it my life doesnโt get better it perpetuates they shit feeling. As humans we also can tend to take things very literally and make things wayyy more complicated than they need to be. The Secret is a VERY simple explanation of LOA and in response to a previous comment I too thought I could just sit and meditate and and things would โappearโ. Anyway, I could say a lot on this but I want to say I agree with a lot of what youโre saying and my heart goes out to all that have become frustrated and felt harmed by this buzz of LOA.
How do you go to the questions that tells you that you are water air fire and earth
sounds like a lot of self full filling prophets here that have no basis to go by
This is completely false. Your “thoughts” don’t create your reality but your energetic state creates all of it. That’s why you get the job despite momentarily feeling bad about it etc.
Well said. Two quotes come to mind. “Don’t believe everything you think” and “Happiness is wanting what you have”
Isn’t the god genie just as crazy as the LOA? Plus I tried God, still depressed (but got secular help)
Might I ask, What secular help are speaking of?
Iโve discovered the LoA community about 3 years ago. And rn it seems utterly crazy to say itโs been only 3 years ago, because my life view has changed so much, it seems like decades.
Before that my spirituality never bothered me. I was raised atheist and the strict rules of Orthodox Church, which is predominant here in Russia, made me even a little afraid of god and religion because of the idea, that youโll get punished if you do something wrong.
At first, like everyone else, Iโve been fascinated by the idea. Iโve watched video after video, read article after article to the point that before opening the source I knew word to word what it would say. And it still didnโt work. Here comes the time in my life when Iโve started to question the meaning of life and my own worth. If itโs working for thousands of people all over the world, the problem must not be with the method. It must be with me. I felt miserable. Iโve started to feel isolated from my friends and family. I was terrified to tell them about this whole thing and my concerns because I felt like they gonna believe Iโve gone crazy. My self-esteem and my faith in the world had crushed. And I was too afraid of admitting it because, you guessed it, โyour thoughts create your realityโ. With time I developed depression and derealization. I felt truly terrified. And I am extremely lucky that at one of my darkest days I finally made a conclusion that changed my entire perspective on life: โit isnโt me what is the problemโ. It was about 1,5 years ago. Since that day I slowly began the process of healing. Since that day Iโve started to walk my own path. I must say that itโs still difficult sometimes. I still get episodes of depression and utter hopelessness, I am still triggered by the words like โfrequencyโ, โpositive thinkingโ and โspiritual awakeningโ and to this day I still explore all the spiritual materials with great caution.
Looking back, I now realize that the LoA not working for me was a blessing in disguise. It had taught me to listen to my inner voice more than to anyone elseโs, a lesson I truly needed. It had led me to the path of finding my own spirituality and happiness and to the greater awareness of life.
From now on, theres one belief that holds me together through my darkest times: โif you just hold on, youโll see that everything is happening for a reason and for your greater goodโ.
Oh gosh, thank you so much for this blog post. It validates everything I have felt, anger and frustration during the recent years in my LOA “addiction”. It is time someone calls the cat…a cat!
Thank you also for your comment Stasya, I totally understand you.
I’ve been almost a decade sucked in by the loa “gurus”, online courses, seminars, articles, books. I have actually never manifested anything. My life actually became worse. I deeply regret I lost so many of years of my life planning and trying to “manifest” the dream life, instead of actually living and being present in this life, here and now. I lost touch with reality, I lost common sense.
I’ve become allergic to the word “manifest” and it triggers me. I feel I almost have to learn how to speak like normal, ordinary human being again. Nope, I didn’t “manifest” my dog puppy. I BOUGHT it. With money. That’s what normal people normally do.
It triggers me when they say everything is possible. Nope, just no.
These gurus say that everything is possible, that we can create everything we want with the power of our mind/thoughts.
Well, I can say as an example, that George Clooney will not date me. He is already married. Aiming for such a thing (to have a date) would be totally wrong and unmoral, it is not right to pursue someone else’s husband. Even is he was single, probably he wouldn’t be attracted to me anyway. So for example this simple example proves how “everything” is definitely not possible!!
So even if something would be possible in theory, but not in reality…then what’s the point? Then these morons (the gurus) teach in their courses how “reality is created”. Really?? How it improves my life to study theories, that do not work and do not change anything in reality? What kind of a “law” it is, if it works sometimes and sometimes not? Shady.
Do you know what gaslighting is? It is term used to describe what abusers and manipulators commonly do, to mess up your mind (to gain control over you). I feel this is what these gurus have done to me. I started to doubt what reality is. That was a dangerous game.
And these gurus never take any responsibility. I think that is one of the most nasty and sinister aspects in that industry. If you fail, it is your fault, you wasn’t trying hard enough, your vibration was wrong. They resign any responsibility of the damage their advice can cause. And their solution is to sell you MORE of their courses and coaching. Voila, addiction and going round in circles have begun.
I feel bitter, betrayed. I regret I lost years of real life to this madness. I’m deeply embarrased how I used to lecture my friends how they too can “have everything they want” too. Even I myself don’t believe this at all anymore.
I resent mostly especially The Secret book. Dangerous “advice”.
Thoughts become things…well, no! I had bad skin in my face. Then I visited beauty salon, and the lady there did a facial, taught me what kind of products I should use and what not…and now my skin is so much better. Would my skin be better if I just sit at home and think about good skin? Come on…And how boring it is to sit alone home and just think. Visiting the beauty salon was so much fun and social event. Hello, real life!
I also hate when they tell how this is all scientifically proven. If something is scientifically proven, it means it can be repeated countless of times and everytime get the same results. Scientific experiments are done is controlled circumstances.
But we are humans in real life, not laboratory rats in test conditions. I think therefore it cannot even be proven scientifically.
Just nonsense!
The main idea of loa and all the materials is to feel good and therefore attract good things. Ironically, it has made me feel very bad. As a matter of fact, I felt better before this mind messing craziness, before reading all that material. I just want to be normal again.
You absolutely hit the nail on the head when you said that the gurus have been gaslighting you. They are/were spiritual narcissists…Esther/Abraham Hicks, Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Aaron Doughty, Christina Lopes, Victor Oddo, Neville Goddard, Leeor Alexandra, Dr Joe Dispenza, etc – just to name a few of a huge number of them. Until you align with unconditional love, you will continue to manifest karmic connections and relationships absolutely everywhere in your reality – including all Personal Growth and Development ‘Gurus’. That’s human evolution! Happy Global Ascension! Sending you infinite and rainbow light X
What even Abraham hicks too? Doesnโt she say that we are all source energy? Which is highest teaching even in Hinduism and Advaita?!
These are the only words of wisdom on this page and I thank you for sharing it… and for free!
i became a born-again christian about 6 years ago, i loved jesus …i tried to do manifesting and the law of attraction and i feel sick…like i was been tortured or something..i suffer a bit with nerves..i just didnt want this awfulness.. i believe if jesus want me to have healing or anything else in life, he will provide it his way..the other i think is foor those that it works for..the sick or disabled or vunerable are at the mercy of some very dangerous force and should keep away from it.
I’m 28. My mother has been practicing the law of attraction, among other things such as, frequency healing, and it has really escalated over the years and taken over her life. I can see the strain her behaviors have on her marriage with my dad. She and I have little to no genuine connection or relationship because of the obsessive effects of LoA. Family friends have cut off our whole family and we can’t contact them at all because they found her “love and light” practices to be too much. My mother tends to not only practice this stuff but also preach it to people that really would rather just talk about the movie they watched last week or how their kids are doing in school. The LoA has made her judgmental towards anyone that doesn’t see eye to eye with her beliefs. And most of these beliefs she bought online from videos, and ads that really aim to suck in middle aged women that find they don’t have a happy purpose in life now that their kids are grown up and moved out.
I have found that the LoA has done more bad than good in my mothers life and I wish there was a way to ironically make her “see the light.”
I have become extremely embittered by both sides of the spiritual field: LoA and getting what you want vs living in the now/being happy regardless.
On the one hand I am extremely hurt now because the LoA led me to believe if I just ‘change’ how I feel then I will attract what I want. Yet, despite doing this I have lost a couple teeth, my mouth health degraded, I gained weight and still struggle with weight, I haven’t manifested a ‘true love’…
Actually, what caused me the most suffering was a belief that a celebrity was a ‘twin flame’ and I swear the ‘signs’ all pointed to yes. However, I started seeing opposite signs that said the opposite and suggested that I was wrong and was suffering from erotomania. It is STILL painful and I have not recovered at all – especially after the death of the celebrity.
A lot of spiritual information is still causing me suffering since it all sinks it to suggest I must be a ‘creep’ who is just repelling people. This only furthers my pain and makes me feel extremely ‘bad’.
I don’t know – but a lot of it really pisses me off to be honest. I haven’t recovered from any of this and wake up feeling pained because I feel honestly trapped. No one helps me get out of this pain and the system we have at present is not helpful either – at resolving your pains/traumas and getting you to a better place.
It’s all designed too inhumanely and not at all compassionate. Otherwise, when I say I feel suicidal at the psych place they would take me seriously and help me out.
They don’t.
And again, how is a person supposed to get that help when were in a hole in every aspect of our life: financial (0 money at all), emotional (no feeling except pain), and no support system (that feels genuine)? If the system were aimed at understanding people it would succeed in rehabilitating some of us who desperately want/need healing.
And I have to disagree with much of Teal Swan (if anyone knows her you might know why) because she is very contradicting and then can use all her information to suggest it is just ‘you’ who is the problem.
Like her video on deflection being a coping mechanism. Are you freaking kidding me? If deflection were a coping mechanism it would work to keep me from feeling pain – but it doesn’t. My reasons and questionings are all in the right.
And how am I not to know that perhaps Buddha’s original teachings are the truth and others suggesting otherwise are not in service of the likes of Lucifer or others? How can we know?
Also, how can we know that negative beings don’t interfere in our life to cause pain and suffering to others? It’s been suggested by some. It seems true because no matter what I do I get more pain and things seriously do not go my way.
Ever.